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Post by alissa103 on May 28, 2015 15:08:32 GMT
This "mommy war" annoys me.
To each her own and if you don't enjoy crafting treat bags, that's great. Don't do it. If you do, that's also great. Go on with your crafty self! If seeing a cute treat bag gives so someone anxiety and feelings of inadequacy, that's on THEM and not on those who do it for the love of crafting or for stress relief or to have a reason to escape to their craft space away from the kids for a few hours when their spouse gets home.
Me decorating my son's Valentines with him (which he loved and enjoyed his crafty time with mommy) does not mean I'm showing off or that I have too much time on my hands (someone said this to me. Really.) It means I choose to spend my time differently than you, and THAT IS OK. It's insulting to insinuate otherwise.
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Post by bc2ca on May 28, 2015 15:10:35 GMT
I got a big superiority vibe off the post. I'm a crafty mom but Valentine's are the only crafty thing I remember sending to school and googlie eyes were always involved .
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2015 15:11:20 GMT
Yes, I receive the "too much time" comment sometimes. It's so insulting!!! I don't have more time than you, I use it differently!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2015 15:28:50 GMT
I am one of those crafty women. I'm going to toot my horn here for a second, when I try to recreate something that I saw online, I nail it. I love to go all out when I'm throwing a party, whether it's for our kids or adults. Decorating my home, painting and creating furniture, crafting, etc. it's all stuff that I love to do.
I get so sick of other women who don't have the knack for that sort of stuff belittling those that do. I really, really don't care if you don't enjoy being a Martha Stewart. But I do, so for whatever reason it makes you feel insecure so you knock down my talents?
On the flip side, there are women who will make any mom feel like they're less of a mom if they don't become a "Pinterest" mom. Women really are just the worst to eachother.
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Post by tomocus on May 28, 2015 17:07:21 GMT
This "mommy war" annoys me. To each her own and if you don't enjoy crafting treat bags, that's great. Don't do it. If you do, that's also great. Go on with your crafty self! If seeing a cute treat bag gives so someone anxiety and feelings of inadequacy, that's on THEM and not on those who do it for the love of crafting or for stress relief or to have a reason to escape to their craft space away from the kids for a few hours when their spouse gets home. Me decorating my son's Valentines with him (which he loved and enjoyed his crafty time with mommy) does not mean I'm showing off or that I have too much time on my hands (someone said this to me. Really.) It means I choose to spend my time differently than you, and THAT IS OK. It's insulting to insinuate otherwise. Agreed!!
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likescarrots
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,879
Aug 16, 2014 17:52:53 GMT
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Post by likescarrots on May 28, 2015 17:37:58 GMT
I hate blog posts like this. I think the blogger sounds bitter, tired, and jealous of women who choose to do stuff like this. I just had a very strong instant dislike of her. The blogger is a guy, I think. Just to point that out. He mentions that his wife is someone who reluctantly put googly eyes and construction paper squares on fruit cups, so she probably feels, in some part, like he does. The blogger IS a guy, and honestly it had me irate that he thinks he is in some position to tell all us silly little women how ridiculous we're being. Like we need to grow up and do something more important than crafting. How condescending. So gross.
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Post by melanell on May 28, 2015 18:29:01 GMT
Some people really enjoy doing that. I enjoy doing stuff like that occasionally. So I only do it occasionally. For instance, when DS was in kindergarten, I sent homemade cookies cut out and decorated to look just like Lego pieces on his birthday. Cute. He loved them. I had fun making them. Next year, I wasn't in the mood to make and decorate a bunch of stuff so I sent a box of Krispy Kremes instead. He loved them. I had fun not making anything. And I had fun sending in the exact same thing for 2nd & 3rd grade, too! Just because that's fun for one mom or dad and so they do it all of the time doesn't mean I have to do it, too. I'm fine with not sending holiday goody bags to school. A few other moms/dads/grandparents do send them. My kids get a kick out of them. They have never cried that I don't love them because I never bother. It's all good. They can be clever and crafty and I can choose to mostly not be. I don't feel any need to keep up with other parents or to compete with them.
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Post by doesitmatter on May 28, 2015 19:07:34 GMT
Meh, I do crafty things for my kids and their classes when I want to because I enjoy it. I don't care if you judge me. I'm about making the kids smile and feel special, so the parents who role their eyes don't matter to me. I agree with those who said, if you don't want to, then don't do it. If you enjoy it, cool.
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Post by papersilly on May 28, 2015 21:02:42 GMT
not only for kids, but for brides too. DH's secretary is getting married next year and from what she is sharing with him, it's going to be a Pinterest wedding.
i think pinterest is fun but it put a lot of pressure on those who play that "keeping up with the Jones" thing and those who like to post their achievements to social media. I'm not surprised that people can't throw regular treats in a bag without altering it somehow. thanks pinterest.
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scrapaddie
Drama Llama
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Jul 8, 2014 20:17:31 GMT
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Post by scrapaddie on May 28, 2015 21:41:58 GMT
I always tried to make my daughters birthdays special. We had a budget so they were not over-the-top. But I was able to make some things that were different and appreciated by the kids. Her cakes were always homemade but I had taken a cake decorating class and was able to do some fun things with the cake .
I agree with the poster that, now that many schools do not allow homemade treats, parents have had to look at other ways to make their offerings unique and fun.
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Post by katiekaty on May 28, 2015 21:51:29 GMT
I come from pre-pinterest and even pre-internet, very early computer days. You'd be surprised how fancy you can get with coloring books for pattern and colorful construction paper and what fun we had when the early versions of Photoshop and clipart hit the world! Pinterest in just a new thing thing/way to do it old school and has lots of links with incredible and sometimes easy directions to accomplish fun stuff. There have always and will be overachieving moms and everyone enjoys it. From the kids on up. Stop complaining, blogger!
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Post by crazy4scraps on May 29, 2015 4:41:09 GMT
This "mommy war" annoys me. To each her own and if you don't enjoy crafting treat bags, that's great. Don't do it. If you do, that's also great. Go on with your crafty self! If seeing a cute treat bag gives so someone anxiety and feelings of inadequacy, that's on THEM and not on those who do it for the love of crafting or for stress relief or to have a reason to escape to their craft space away from the kids for a few hours when their spouse gets home.Me decorating my son's Valentines with him (which he loved and enjoyed his crafty time with mommy) does not mean I'm showing off or that I have too much time on my hands (someone said this to me. Really.) It means I choose to spend my time differently than you, and THAT IS OK. It's insulting to insinuate otherwise. This, exactly. Personally, I do LOVE to do this kind of stuff. It's fun for me, I'm good at it and it makes my kid feel special. It has nothing to do with what the other moms do or don't do, because I don't care what they do or don't do. I don't look down on anyone who doesn't do stuff like this either, so someone who thinks I'm doing it to one up anyone else just doesn't know me. If they judge me without knowing me, then that is on them too. I don't have tons of time nor craploads of money but I do what I can with what I have, just as my mom did and her mom before her. It just so happens that what I do have is a boatload of artistic skills and a creative mind that I've honed over my lifetime, and to not use those skills because of what someone else may or may not think about me would just be sad and impractical. I want my kid to have nice things, and if I can show her that nice things can be made and not just purchased, so much the better. ETA: I think I'm going to change my name to Susie. Susie Craftsalot.
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Post by smokeynspike on May 29, 2015 4:55:53 GMT
I like Pinterest for the ideas, even if I never use a single one. However, I'm not trying to keep up with the Joneses with Pinterest! Life is complicated enough without putting unnecessary pressure on yourself over Pinterest ideas.
Melissa
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Post by jumperhop on May 29, 2015 5:01:48 GMT
This makes me sad. How rude and ungrateful. Whether or not you have this opinion it is so rude to post online calling someone out for giving your child a gift that wasn't up to your approval. Yes it's silly but it's cute. Roll your eyes and keep your mouth shut. Jen
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Post by polz on May 29, 2015 9:22:12 GMT
Move to New Zealand. None of this stuff is expected. On a side and sortof related note - we don't do babymoons or push presents either. No one cares if you wear black to a wedding. We have way less 'rules'. We are very casual here.
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grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
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Post by grinningcat on May 29, 2015 11:28:06 GMT
Move to New Zealand. None of this stuff is expected. On a side and sortof related note - we don't do babymoons or push presents either. No one cares if you wear black to a wedding. We have way less 'rules'. We are very casual here. But I think that is what most of us are saying... that it's not an expected thing. It's just something that some people like to do and that posts like the one in the OP are stupid because they vilify it for no reason (maybe because they are jealous?). I do fun things like what's in the blog post because it's fun for me and I know that kids get a kick out of stuff like that. Would they get a kick out of just a plain bag of goldfish? Sure. But if someone wants to do something cute, why should they be vilified? No one cares if you wear black to a wedding here. The last wedding I shot, I saw a lot of black. I expect a lot of black at my own. There's a difference between black and mourning black. Babymoons are weird but I get them, it's nice to get away whenever you can though it doesn't need the name. The term push present makes me want to punch someone... that's how stupid I think it is. Getting a gift after giving birth? Sure. Lovely gesture. Calling it a push present and demanding it like I've seen online? Greedy.
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Post by moveablefeast on May 29, 2015 12:00:54 GMT
I'm the admin at a private preschool and the pinterest mommies are just amazing to me. Some mornings I can barely throw some food in a bag for my DD's snack and they send these elaborate little lunches for their darlings. I do admit to especially loving it at potluck time because I get to partake with no effort required on my part. I don't feel inferior in any way to the pinterest mommies. Like, I kind of wish I had gotten that gene but it is so missing in my life. We all have our talents. Making cupcake bouquets with a foam ball and skewers is not one of mine. I just go to the store and get little decorative picks to put in my store bought cupcakes. We did print ourselves some valentines to share this year. But we didn't attach them to anything, we just wrote our names with sharpie. I guess for me, I decided long ago it was okay not to be super crafty and do all that, so I can enjoy it with no guilt or pressure when other people manage it.
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M in Carolina
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 29, 2014 12:11:41 GMT
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Post by M in Carolina on May 29, 2015 12:04:42 GMT
I've learned that women can be jealous of you for *any* reason. I've told y'all about the really nasty comments and jealousy of my SIL, and she's still like that, even when I'm so ill that I can't do ANYTHING. She's won. She's the best. She's STILL jealous. It's so sad, but I think what gets her the most is I.don't.care. I don't react to her. Dh and I just roll our eyes and laugh privately.
My mom always had to go above and beyond with everything. Immaculate house, perfect kids, perfect homeschooling, and my brother and I were so stressed out. He had ulcers at 10 years old. My mom didn't enjoy the things she did, she just put so much pressure on herself. Then she'd get incensed when we didn't notice everything she did.
I think women will be jealous of each other forever. I do raise my eyebrow at a MAN who has to put down a woman for doing this for her child's class. Obviously his little girl loved what she got and was so excited to show her dad that she jumped out of bed to show it to him first thing. If the kids didn't care, they would have eaten the snacks immediately.
I remember the really cute homemade cupcakes that mothers would bring to class to share for their child's birthday. My mom and a lot of other mothers took the Wilton decorating classes. My MIL did cakes like that for years until her hands got too swollen and painful. She was amazing with cakes, and her family and friends really appreciated what she did.
Being creative is part of our souls as humans. We are all creative in different ways. I really don't like when someone has to be negative about the way someone else does something, what they buy, or what they do, just to feel better about themselves, or worse "teach someone a lesson", like a blog post about all those mothers who one up each other.
Does anyone take these "surveys" seriously? I just fill them out how I feel in that moment. I don't think people are completely honest about them. I have to take them as part of the paperwork for my doctor every month--I just roll my eyes at the dumb questions, and fill in explanations when applicable--did you get angry at someone this month. Yes, because my mom is a narcissist, not because of the medications I take. We don't live in a vacuum.
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Post by melanell on May 29, 2015 13:25:30 GMT
i think pinterest is fun but it put a lot of pressure on those who play that "keeping up with the Jones" thing and those who like to post their achievements to social media. I'm not surprised that people can't throw regular treats in a bag without altering it somehow. thanks pinterest. But why can't they just toss regular treats in a bag if they want? I've done it. No one has banned me from helping with school parties or hosting my own, I promise. No kid (or adult) has ever said "Oh, these items are too plain...you keep them." And on the flip side, moms who want to be crafty have been crafty long before Pinterest. My mom was making cutsie place tags, loot containers, cakes, custom invitations, etc., decades before Pinterest was even dreamed up. People need to choose not to let what others do dictate what they do. Life hands us all enough stress without letting something like Pinterest or goody bag tags pile on even more. I've seen plenty of kids take those cutsie loot bags they rip them open, and toss everything else out. I don't know if they even notice the cute factor half the time.
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mallie
Pearl Clutcher
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Jul 3, 2014 18:13:13 GMT
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Post by mallie on May 29, 2015 13:47:46 GMT
not only for kids, but for brides too. DH's secretary is getting married next year and from what she is sharing with him, it's going to be a Pinterest wedding. i think pinterest is fun but it put a lot of pressure on those who play that "keeping up with the Jones" thing and those who like to post their achievements to social media. I'm not surprised that people can't throw regular treats in a bag without altering it somehow. thanks pinterest. Pinterest doesn't put that pressure on people, people put that pressure on themselves because they worry about what others think of them. In the old days, we had various craft magazines (and craft sections of Woman's Day and Family Circle). People would try that stuff out then and there were folks who had to compete with each other. Just like in Victorian times, people competed with each other on hair wreaths to the point where small shops started up in cities selling pre-made hair flowers so women could buy them and pretend they made the flowers and impress their circle. Human nature does not change, just the means of communicating.
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Post by 2peafaithful on May 29, 2015 13:55:30 GMT
I enjoy Pinterest. I don't see it as stressful as all. I think one could choose to see it that way but I see it more as inspiration vs what I should do or could do. When I see it at parties or kids events I think how fun and I enjoy it but in no way receive that as pressure I should put on myself. I have a friend that plans her daughters parties for months. They truly look like one of the grand events you see online. It matters to her. They waited years for kids, adopted a beautiful baby girl and this is something she loves doing. We love going and they are dear to us. I have been there when I heard a good friend of theirs say under her breath, I can't believe she does all this? It wasn't said in a WOW you are amazing tone but more of a wow....what a crappy waste of time and money. We all spend time and $ on different things. It doesn't mean you love your kid any more or less if you go to all that detail. I love Pinterest for organizing, inspiration and learning. Sometimes when I am pinning things I remember how hard it was to keep track of all the ideas.
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Deleted
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Oct 7, 2024 9:31:42 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2015 13:59:27 GMT
I'm the admin at a private preschool and the pinterest mommies are just amazing to me. Some mornings I can barely throw some food in a bag for my DD's snack and they send these elaborate little lunches for their darlings. I do admit to especially loving it at potluck time because I get to partake with no effort required on my part. I don't feel inferior in any way to the pinterest mommies. Like, I kind of wish I had gotten that gene but it is so missing in my life. We all have our talents. Making cupcake bouquets with a foam ball and skewers is not one of mine. I just go to the store and get little decorative picks to put in my store bought cupcakes. We did print ourselves some valentines to share this year. But we didn't attach them to anything, we just wrote our names with sharpie. I guess for me, I decided long ago it was okay not to be super crafty and do all that, so I can enjoy it with no guilt or pressure when other people manage it. See, I feel that you're contributing to the issue at hand by referring to them as "pinterest mommies" and their children as "darlings". I sense a bit of snark, like you're making fun of them in a mild way.
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Post by papersilly on May 29, 2015 14:57:10 GMT
not only for kids, but for brides too. DH's secretary is getting married next year and from what she is sharing with him, it's going to be a Pinterest wedding. i think pinterest is fun but it put a lot of pressure on those who play that "keeping up with the Jones" thing and those who like to post their achievements to social media. I'm not surprised that people can't throw regular treats in a bag without altering it somehow. thanks pinterest. Pinterest doesn't put that pressure on people, people put that pressure on themselves because they worry about what others think of them. In the old days, we had various craft magazines (and craft sections of Woman's Day and Family Circle). People would try that stuff out then and there were folks who had to compete with each other. Just like in Victorian times, people competed with each other on hair wreaths to the point where small shops started up in cities selling pre-made hair flowers so women could buy them and pretend they made the flowers and impress their circle. Human nature does not change, just the means of communicating. You are right. Same messages being sent out, just a different messenger. I never leafed through Women's Day but Martha Stewart Living was certainly my precursor to pinterest.
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Post by crazy4scraps on May 29, 2015 15:24:46 GMT
I have a friend that plans her daughters parties for months. They truly look like one of the grand events you see online. It matters to her. They waited years for kids, adopted a beautiful baby girl and this is something she loves doing. We love going and they are dear to us. I have been there when I heard a good friend of theirs say under her breath, I can't believe she does all this? It wasn't said in a WOW you are amazing tone but more of a wow....what a crappy waste of time and money. We all spend time and $ on different things. It doesn't mean you love your kid any more or less if you go to all that detail. We have attended no less than 7-8 kid parties THIS YEAR already. Just because a party didn't have a lot of bells and whistles doesn't mean it was cheap by any means. The parents are paying for the convenience and there's nothing at all wrong with that. For the amount of money our friends paid to have 12 kids at the bowling alley or bounce house place, we could invite six whole families to our house for a BBQ and give each kid attending a really nice goodie bag because I made the invites, the cake and half of the party favors myself. It will look like we spent a whole lot more than we did because I know how to bake and how my e-cutter and sewing machine works, and I'm home with DD anyway. What they spend in money, I spend in time but since it's stuff I like doing anyway it's really a no-brainer for me to do it for my kid. And she DOES notice. She thinks I can do anything, so I'm going to love that as long as it lasts.
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Post by moveablefeast on May 29, 2015 15:36:12 GMT
I'm the admin at a private preschool and the pinterest mommies are just amazing to me. Some mornings I can barely throw some food in a bag for my DD's snack and they send these elaborate little lunches for their darlings. I do admit to especially loving it at potluck time because I get to partake with no effort required on my part. I don't feel inferior in any way to the pinterest mommies. Like, I kind of wish I had gotten that gene but it is so missing in my life. We all have our talents. Making cupcake bouquets with a foam ball and skewers is not one of mine. I just go to the store and get little decorative picks to put in my store bought cupcakes. We did print ourselves some valentines to share this year. But we didn't attach them to anything, we just wrote our names with sharpie. I guess for me, I decided long ago it was okay not to be super crafty and do all that, so I can enjoy it with no guilt or pressure when other people manage it. See, I feel that you're contributing to the issue at hand by referring to them as "pinterest mommies" and their children as "darlings". I sense a bit of snark, like you're making fun of them in a mild way. All I can really say is I don't say it pejoratively but with affection. When I say "pinterest mommies" I am just referring to that group of mommies who have that inclination to do the cutesy craftsy stuff - they come in with something cute and you go, what a great idea, and they go, yup, found it on pinterest. It just differentiates from mommies like me who have no talent for it whatsoever.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2015 15:36:39 GMT
Eh, I don't know. The gift bag consisted of things printed on paper, attached to prepackaged foods. I wouldn't do the googly eyes things because small items and a hot glue gun are not my friends. If I were to do an end of year gift, it would have been *one* of this items. Most likely a printed label attached to prepackaged foods. I stopped giving a shit what other mothers do years ago. I routinely forget about teacher appreciation week and have given up on doing anything. I wait until the last week of school and give the teacher a thank you card.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2015 16:03:05 GMT
I agree that gluing eyes and taping shit onto everything is ridiculous, but that's where my agreement ends. So what is an acceptable item to bring to an elementary child's classroom? It has to be home baked with love? If it's prepackaged, leave it alone? Otherwise it's tacky to stick a label on top? I find your comment kind of weird since you scrapbook and own a business (that sells scrapping items) where adhering shit on paper is common. To me, scrapping and decorating something for a kid's treat are both crafts. Or do you prefer to be called a life artist? Is scrapbooking an elevated art form to you?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2015 16:06:53 GMT
Move to New Zealand. None of this stuff is expected. On a side and sortof related note - we don't do babymoons or push presents either. No one cares if you wear black to a wedding. We have way less 'rules'. We are very casual here. Please don't think babymoons are a normal thing in the U.S. ETA: I had no idea what a push present was until I read grinnning cat's post.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2015 16:07:11 GMT
I agree that gluing eyes and taping shit onto everything is ridiculous, but that's where my agreement ends. So what is an acceptable item to bring to an elementary child's classroom? It has to be home baked with love? If it's prepackaged, leave it alone? Otherwise it's tacky to stick a label on top? I find your comment kind of weird since you scrapbook and own a business (that sells scrapping items) where adhering shit on paper is common. To me, scrapping and decorating something for a kid's treat are both crafts. Or do you prefer to be called a life artist? Is scrapbooking an elevated art form to you? I'm not sure why you are insulting me, and my business, and suggesting that I call myself by lofty terms. I do think that printing a piece of paper and gluing eyes onto every. single. item. in a gift bag is a bit much. If my kids received that, I'd be excited and tell them how cute and funny I think it was. But for me, when I see those ideas on Pinterest, I roll my eyes and think it's very unnecessary.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2015 16:11:52 GMT
So what is an acceptable item to bring to an elementary child's classroom? It has to be home baked with love? If it's prepackaged, leave it alone? Otherwise it's tacky to stick a label on top? I find your comment kind of weird since you scrapbook and own a business (that sells scrapping items) where adhering shit on paper is common. To me, scrapping and decorating something for a kid's treat are both crafts. Or do you prefer to be called a life artist? Is scrapbooking an elevated art form to you? I'm not sure why you are insulting me, and my business, and suggesting that I call myself by lofty terms. I do think that printing a piece of paper and gluing eyes onto every. single. item. in a gift bag is a bit much. If my kids received that, I'd be excited and tell them how cute and funny I think it was. But for me, when I see those ideas on Pinterest, I roll my eyes and think it's very unnecessary. It's a few items in a bag. Some labels with cute sayings (for an elementary aged kid) on a bag. A few googly eyes. Like I said in my other post, I wouldn't go to the work of making that many items because it's something I wouldn't enjoy. I think it's rude to say "gluing eyes and taping shit onto everything is ridiculous.?" How is that not as insulting as the blog post?
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