Nink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,947
Location: North Idaho
Jul 1, 2014 23:30:44 GMT
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Post by Nink on May 29, 2015 17:04:08 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss. You need to grieve however works best for you. I've found that grieving with your mom doesn't add to her heartache or hers to yours, it's just something you're going through together. Hold tight to each other and just allow yourself to go through it. It's been almost 10 years for me and I still have days I spend crying.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 16, 2024 5:17:37 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2015 17:09:03 GMT
Very sorry for your loss.
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BarbaraUK
Drama Llama
Surrounded by my yarn stash on the NE coast of England...............!! Refupea 1702
Posts: 5,961
Location: England UK
Jun 27, 2014 12:47:11 GMT
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Post by BarbaraUK on May 29, 2015 17:12:19 GMT
You are dealing with it - it isn't something that one can come to terms with in a matter of days and your Mum will understand that. Grieving together will help your Mum - and you - deal with this. Sending all good wishes and lots of hugs to you and your Mum as you go through this distressing time and as you recover from surgery.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 16, 2024 5:17:37 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2015 17:15:45 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss. Give yourself an opportunity to cry and get that emotional and physical release. You don't have to be strong for your mom. You can be sad together and strengthen each other.
Hugs and prayers for you.
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Post by joylynaroundthebnd on May 29, 2015 17:16:29 GMT
I am so sorry for your loss. My dad passed in March. I was there within 45 minutes after he was pronounced and it still does not feel real to me. Just within the last two weeks have felt comfortable talking about him with my mom. (Well, about anything other than probating his will and dealing with the funeral home.)
Prayers for you and your family.
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Post by jumperhop on May 29, 2015 17:18:19 GMT
I am sorry for your loss. These are normal feelings. Many hugs to you and your Mom. Jen
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Post by auntkelly on May 29, 2015 17:19:58 GMT
I am very sorry for your loss.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 16, 2024 5:17:37 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2015 17:24:02 GMT
First, my most sincere condolences. It sounds like you are one of the lucky ones to have such great parents. No matter how it happens, it is so hard to adjust.
It's still VERY fresh for you and what you're feeling is SO normal. Allow yourself the time to fully grieve. Feel those emotions and let them out. Find someone who can handle listening to you talk about him and your grief. For each person, that individual could be someone completely different. Most naturally this person would often be your spouse, but while my own spouse would want to be supportive and would be in his own way, he is not the person I would turn to in a similar situation.
Time will start to ease SOME of the raw emotion you're dealing with now. There will always be a small skip to your own heart when you think of him and the reality of him being gone hits you. My MIL has been gone for 13 years now (totally unexpected, fast moving illness took her in just a few days) and some days the reality of that STILL hits pretty darn hard. My sister, who died from a 3 year battle with lung cancer, has been gone 10 years. Again, it feels like it was only yesterday some days.
{{{{ hugs and prayers }}}}
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Post by jenjie on May 29, 2015 17:33:58 GMT
I'm so sorry. For your dad's passing and for the timing of it. {{{hugs}}}
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Post by chichi on May 29, 2015 17:37:24 GMT
I am so sorry for your loss. My mom passes new years day this year i still have impulses to call her at times. It's still so strange that I can't talk to her.
You our have my sincere condolences
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Post by Anne-Marie on May 29, 2015 17:38:40 GMT
I am so sorry. Please be gentle with yourself. I tried to be strong for my mom when we lost my dad and it was so hard, and exhausting. Allow yourself to grieve. This is a huge loss and it will take time. Thinking of you and praying that memories of your dad bring you some peace.
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Post by papersilly on May 29, 2015 18:07:38 GMT
i'm sorry for your loss. I know how devastating that absence can be. my mom used to call me even after she lost her ability to speak. there would be silence at the other end but I knew it was her because of caller id. after she passed, it was hard to believe there would NEVER be a call from her again. even when she was silent, at least she was there. I choked up when I read your "How's my girl?" because you never realize how much you would miss it until it's no longer there. again, sorry for your loss.
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caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
Jun 26, 2014 14:10:36 GMT
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Post by caro on May 29, 2015 18:12:55 GMT
I'm sorry Missy. I lost my dad 4 years ago. It's hard going to their house realizing he isn't there but it does get better over time. I know it's a cliche but it is true that time eases ( not heal) the pain. Hugs to you.
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The Birdhouse Lady
Drama Llama
Moose. It's what's for dinner.
Posts: 7,215
Location: Alaska -The Last Frontier
Jun 30, 2014 17:15:19 GMT
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Post by The Birdhouse Lady on May 29, 2015 18:19:29 GMT
Missy, I am so sorry for your loss and your pain. Try and be there for your mom, I am sure she is feeling his absence like none other. Don't hide your grief from her, talking with each other may help ease the pain that you both are feeling.
I lost my dad last July and I have really struggled with it. I just take it one day at a time and try to remember all the happy memories we shared.
My fil has been having similar problems that your dad had and has been in the hospital for the last 2.5 weeks. I am scared that we will lose him soon.
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Gravity
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,231
Jun 27, 2014 0:29:55 GMT
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Post by Gravity on May 29, 2015 18:22:53 GMT
I am so sorry for the loss of your dad. ((HUGS))
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Post by mikklynn on May 29, 2015 18:37:39 GMT
Oh, I am so sorry. That is a lot to deal with at once.
I haven't lost a parent, but I have lost others dear to me. It always feels unreal at times and all too real at other times.
Be kind to yourself.
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mimima
Drama Llama
Stay Gold, Ponyboy
Posts: 5,032
Member is Online
Jun 25, 2014 19:25:50 GMT
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Post by mimima on May 29, 2015 18:41:00 GMT
I'm so sorry. May his Memory be Eternal.
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Post by cadoodlebug on May 29, 2015 18:42:58 GMT
I am so sorry. I have been there and all I can say is it will take time. Cry but keep your memories close to your heart. Big hugs.
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Post by originalvanillabean on May 29, 2015 18:46:50 GMT
Missy, I am very sorry. I will keep you in my prayers.
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janeinbama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,177
Location: Alabama
Jan 29, 2015 16:24:49 GMT
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Post by janeinbama on May 29, 2015 18:48:09 GMT
So sorry for your loss - there really is no way to fully prepare for a death. Prayers for all of you.
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Post by gritzi on May 29, 2015 18:50:46 GMT
I'm very sorry for your loss.
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Post by alissa103 on May 29, 2015 18:52:51 GMT
I'm so, so sorry.
I too lost my dad. It has been 8 years now.
My experience is that everyone deals with grief in their own way and that is ok. Just give yourself some time and don't be too hard on yourself. There's no timeframe and no time limit where you "should" feel like yourself again, etc. The same for your mom.
Definitely take some time to process and heal from the shock. For me, my therapy was art and scrapping. I lost myself in my paint, paper and glue for hours and just taking the time to do that was very healing.
My condolences and a big hug.
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Post by bc2ca on May 29, 2015 18:53:06 GMT
{{{hugs}}}
Even knowing this was coming, with your dad's failing health, you can never really be prepared for the loss. Don't worry about being strong for your mom or loosing it in front of her - she is the one person that you can hold and cry together without explaining anything.
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Jili
Pearl Clutcher
SLPea
Posts: 4,363
Jun 26, 2014 1:26:48 GMT
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Post by Jili on May 29, 2015 19:22:03 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss. I haven't lost a parent yet, but I know it is going to happen, and maybe sooner than I may think. You just don't know. I'm dreading it.
Be good to yourself and hang in there.
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Post by BlueDiamond on May 29, 2015 19:40:30 GMT
I know exactly how you feel -- my Dad passed away about a month ago. It doesn't seem like that long, yet it doesn't seem real, yet, either. We've already had the burial, and some of his ashes are here with us. But it hasn't hit me yet. My Dad was the same ... many illnesses, in and out of the hospital, Mom was constant care-giver. Right now, we are in the process of moving my Mom in with us, so we've been going back and forth to their apartment. Just today, she broke down and cried so much when she went into his room. She said she'd rather have cancer again that to feel this hurt so deeply. She just wants to be with him. I really haven't dealt with it myself fully, because I've been taking care of the arrangements, the plans, the notifications, getting things in the house ready for Mom. I kept it together for her because she was falling apart. I haven't fallen apart yet, and I don't know when it will happen, but I know it will. I have no advice, other than to just take each day as it comes. Luckily, I have my house, my kids, my husband, my dogs to keep me occupied. My Mom has just herself. She said it's so strange not to have to take care of someone else any more. Everyone grieves differently, as you know, so don't beat yourself up if it feels like you haven't felt it yet. Just take care of yourself, your family, and your mom. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 16, 2024 5:17:37 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2015 19:46:05 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 16, 2024 5:17:37 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2015 19:48:53 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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~Susan~
Pearl Clutcher
You need to check your boobs, mine tried to kill me!!!
Posts: 3,259
Jul 6, 2014 17:25:32 GMT
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Post by ~Susan~ on May 29, 2015 19:50:44 GMT
I am so very sorry for your loss.
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christinec68
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,143
Location: New York, NY
Jun 26, 2014 18:02:19 GMT
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Post by christinec68 on May 29, 2015 19:53:03 GMT
I am so sorry for your loss.
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Post by christine58 on May 29, 2015 19:58:06 GMT
So very sorry
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