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Post by jenjie on May 29, 2015 23:48:36 GMT
In the strange new world we're living in, what would ordinarily be bad news is considered good. Fred has been feeling pretty bad the last few weeks. He's ok! But The previous round of chemo chewed him up and spit him out. We were supposed to go back for his final round of chemo a week ago but his platelet count was too low. We were thinking the delay would be beneficial but he never did bounce back. He had one really good, full weekend - we went on a double date with friends, he attended an event with his parents and was able to go to church that Sunday. But since then he has been sleeping most of the days, feeling weak and such. Yesterday we went for his scheduled chemo. He woke up feeling really bad. The nurse practitioner took one look at him and knew something wasn't right. It was determined he wasn't well enough or strong enough to receive chemo. Bloodwork showed some numbers were off. We stayed to receive IV fluids, went for a chest X-ray and went home with the promise we would come back today for more bloodwork. We go back today and find out that he has pneumonia, which the NP anticipated. And that's good news! It explains all of his symptoms and is treatable. Much better than thinking maybe it's a setback. So she sent us home with antibiotics. We will revisit next week to see about going in for chemo. I just deleted 4 or more paragraphs that detailed all the craziness that I dealt with yesterday. You're welcome.
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Post by hop2 on May 29, 2015 23:55:05 GMT
Oh my! Prayers and positive thoughts. {{{hugs}}}
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Post by lucyg on May 30, 2015 0:01:37 GMT
Thanks for the update and GOOD LUCK!!
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caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
Jun 26, 2014 14:10:36 GMT
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Post by caro on May 30, 2015 0:04:53 GMT
Well, I'm glad there is some good news on that roller coaster. Prayers continue.
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Post by eebud on May 30, 2015 0:06:19 GMT
Thanks for the update on your DH. Hopefully they will knock the pneumonia out quickly.
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MDscrapaholic
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,592
Location: Down by the bay....
Jun 25, 2014 20:49:07 GMT
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Post by MDscrapaholic on May 30, 2015 0:09:30 GMT
(Hugs)
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Post by jenjie on May 30, 2015 0:11:20 GMT
I had something interesting happen earlier this week. I didn't feel well, I had a slight temp. It was just enough to make me not want to do anything or deal with anyone. Believe it or not, it ended up being a gift. Two reasons:
1. It helped me realize and appreciate the protection I've been given. The past several years I spent most of winder under the weather. This year I haven't been sick at all. I have thanked God for it simply for the whole risk of infection to dh but now I appreciate it also because I wouldn't have the mental or emotional fortitude to help him, the kids and deal with everything else.
2. I have been getting so bothered, you know how the little things become the big things? Lots of little things - complaining about everything, Questioning everything, tone of voice. Realizing how much I didn't want to deal after just one day of not feeling well, compounded by all the MONTHS he hasn't felt well was a wake up call. It helped me adjust my expectations.
One thing that bothered me is that he doesn't seem to SEE me right now. And he agreed. Right now I'm the person that takes care of him and makes him do stuff he doesn't want to do. I realized that right now he just doesn't have anything to give. Not because he doesn't want to, but because he can't.
One of my girlfriends was telling me that when her dh was deployed in the military, they both struggled. they realized he would never understand what she went through and she would never understand what he went through, but it was hard on both of them. I think it's going to be that way for us.
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MDscrapaholic
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,592
Location: Down by the bay....
Jun 25, 2014 20:49:07 GMT
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Post by MDscrapaholic on May 30, 2015 0:14:16 GMT
Hang in there. Sometimes we look back and the little things are remembered as big things!
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Post by cadoodlebug on May 30, 2015 0:14:43 GMT
Thanks for the update ~ keeping Fred, you and your loved ones in my prayers.
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Post by Chips on May 30, 2015 0:18:01 GMT
((((Hugs)))) and prayers for you and your dh.
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Post by patin on May 30, 2015 1:24:12 GMT
Jenjie-I like you . A lot. You are honest & uplifting to so many. I've prayed for you & your Fred & your son. (Are there more? Sorry I'm not a spreadsheet keeper. ) Glad you it is "only" pneumonia & it will be a minor setback. Hope you are getting a little extra rest so you stay healthy during this time too. Again thank you for sharing your real.
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akathy
What's For Dinner?
Still peaing from Podunk!
Posts: 4,546
Location: North Dakota
Jun 25, 2014 22:56:55 GMT
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Post by akathy on May 30, 2015 1:33:58 GMT
I'm so relieved it's something treatable! My prayers are with all of you.
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Post by flanz on May 30, 2015 2:03:34 GMT
I like you too, and appreciate your honesty in your posts. I hope your dh's pneumonia is knocked out soon and that his treatments will be tolerable and effective! What you wrote resonates as truth. Your and your dh's experience of his illness will be very, very different, but are both supremely challenging. HOpefully you can each remember to cut the other a lot of slack, as appropriate, and remember the love that binds you. Hugs!
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Post by peano on May 30, 2015 2:18:41 GMT
Jenjie, thanks for the update. Glad about the pneumonia "good news." And if you need 4 additional paragraphs, we're here to read them. We're here to pick up the slack for Fred, because he can't right now.
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Post by alittleintrepid on May 30, 2015 2:30:24 GMT
I'm glad the NP figured it out and that Fred can take antibiotics to knock out the pneumonia. Hopefully he'll feel better quickly so that he can continue his treatment and return to good health.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 7:18:45 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2015 2:32:22 GMT
Thank for the update, Jen. I've been praying for Fred and wondering how he was doing. I hope he heals quickly from the pneumonia and then he can get about the business of kicking cancer's butt.
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Post by scrapmaven on May 30, 2015 2:59:40 GMT
We're here for you. If you want to type a novel then do so and let us help take care of you as you take care of your dh. From a patient's perspective, it's hard to watch your partner do your job. It's hard to be so dependent upon your partner. When you see your partner on the brink of exhaustion, but still can't get off of the bed it causes anxiety and guilt and tremendous depression. Some tips for you both and take them w/a grain of salt: Ask how you can support eachother with the daily sadness and stress. He should encourage you to take breaks now and then. Taking breaks is essential, even if it's just coffee w/your friends. Gather good friends to come stay for a few hours while you get out and do your thing. They can bring a book. I keep a tea that one friend really enjoys and when she "babysits" me then I know that I've at least provided a treat for her. You need the full-time support whether it's emotional or tactical. It's vital that you two keep communicating openly and honestly. Talk about your caretaking struggles. Include him in the stress, because he is here and as weak as he is, I'm guessing he longs to feel normal. Well, normal is day-to-day struggle right now, so let him know your truth and let him share his w/you. It's horrible to watch the world go by from a sick bed. Nothing prepares you for the complete isolation. It's worse when you see your spouse getting sick and being much more tired from doing so many jobs. If you can prevent that you'll be much better off. Don't wait to relax. The way you get through this nightmare as a couple is lots of open talk, humor and for you two prayer, of course.
This is a journey, not a race. If the laundry doesn't get done today then screw it. If you were able to enjoy a tv show that you watched together instead,then it's a win. When he's super weak as he is now, sometimes just laying next to him and holding his hand is great therapy for you both. Your house doesn't have to be June Cleaver today. Today your priorities are so much different than when your dh was healthy. Being in this situation has so many more layers to it then we can imagine.
Mostly, I'll continue to pray for you both.
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Post by jenjie on May 30, 2015 3:04:57 GMT
Jenjie, thanks for the update. Glad about the pneumonia "good news." And if you need 4 additional paragraphs, we're here to read them. We're here to pick up the slack for Fred, because he can't right now. Thanks! <3 Trust me it was just stupid and confusing stuff about me making countless trips between two buildings, two different floors in each building, plus a parking garage. Multiple times I found myself getting on an elevator and realizing I was in the wrong building. There was some other stuff too but it just makes me look even worse. lol. Tortuting my PCP Office staff because I asked for the wrong referrals. Realizing that pushing a wheelchair is a lot harder than it looks. Telling my kids we were coming home but not able to explain why for a half hour! Because we were on the move. They were not pleased.
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Post by jenjie on May 30, 2015 3:06:59 GMT
patin and flanz thank you for blessing me with your kind words.
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Post by crazy4scraps on May 30, 2015 3:09:30 GMT
Thanks for updating. Continuing to keep your family in my thoughts and prayers!
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Post by scrapmaven on May 30, 2015 3:09:40 GMT
Nothing you said in your last post makes you look bad. Your patience is probably past gone and your complaints are normal and true. Wheelchairs are heavy and going up and down ramps is a workout. Type 18 paragraphs if you need to, cause you're not scaring me, yet.
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Post by jenjie on May 30, 2015 3:14:59 GMT
scrapmaven - wow. Thank you. Yeah where he is now he doesn't even seem to realize the toll this is all taking on me. He "gets it" if I spell it out for him, and then seems to forget. He doesn't see it, only if I tell him. He's usually not up for that but a few days ago he was ready to listen. I shared some of my concerns and felt that he heard me for the first time in a while. It was enough for right now. It has to be. I am doing better about taking time for myself. I went to lunch with a girlfriend this week and today I visited an older lady friend because I needed a hug. I spent an hour or so visiting with her. Thank you for your caring heart.
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Post by scrapmaven on May 30, 2015 3:21:56 GMT
Glad to hear that you are getting out for occasional breaks. The patient gets all the sympathy, but the caretaker needs it, too. My pharmacist brought it all home when he said to dh, "G-d bless you for taking such good care of Mrs. Maven. It's such a hard job." Let me pass that on to you. "G-d bless you for taking such good, loving care of Fred."
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billstergirl
Full Member
Posts: 194
Jun 27, 2014 20:50:26 GMT
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Post by billstergirl on May 30, 2015 3:25:23 GMT
Jenjie thanks for the update. I will be praying for you, Fred, and your kids. I haven't personally gone through what you are but I can imagine that it is rough on everyone.
I agree with the above posters.... Let everything out here. Type what you need to. I work nights. I'm up, I'll read it!
It's crazy to think that pneumonia is a good thing but I'm glad that he has something that can be "fixed" in a relatively short period of time.
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newlywoods03
Pearl Clutcher
Blessed Beyond Measure
Posts: 2,828
Jun 26, 2014 3:09:09 GMT
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Post by newlywoods03 on May 30, 2015 3:27:08 GMT
Thanks for the update. I must have missed it on FB.
I adore you! I'm blessed by you daily. I am encouraged by your walk through this season in your lives. I will continue to pray for Fred, you and your kids. Hugs!!
You are an encouragement to many and I am blessed to call you friend!!!
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Post by leftturnonly on May 30, 2015 3:28:48 GMT
Good news is good news. Yay for antibiotics! Hope he feels better fast.
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Post by jenjie on May 30, 2015 3:29:55 GMT
Jenjie thanks for the update. I will be praying for you, Fred, and your kids. I haven't personally gone through what you are but I can imagine that it is rough on everyone. I agree with the above posters.... Let everything out here. Type what you need to. I work nights. I'm up, I'll read it! It's crazy to think that pneumonia is a good thing but I'm glad that he has something that can be "fixed" in a relatively short period of time. You think that's bad? Friends of ours, the husband has cancer and i believe it had reached his bones. He had new aches and pains. They were relieved to find out it's not more cancer, it's degenerative dscs, among other things. It's "only" degenerative discs. Crazy. But I get it.
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Post by jenjie on May 30, 2015 3:35:18 GMT
Thanks for the update. I must have missed it on FB. I adore you! I'm blessed by you daily. I am encouraged by your walk through this season in your lives. I will continue to pray for Fred, you and your kids. Hugs!! You are an encouragement to many and I am blessed to call you friend!!! It's my latest post. Today and something from last night you should read. about the first good news of the day. And thank you. <3 Are you the one who introduced me to Kara Tippetts? I was able to get her book free on kindle a few weeks ago. Just beginning it and I see echoes of the some of the same things I'm learning.
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Post by leftturnonly on May 30, 2015 3:38:37 GMT
scrapmaven - wow. Thank you. Yeah where he is now he doesn't even seem to realize the toll this is all taking on me. He "gets it" if I spell it out for him, and then seems to forget. He doesn't see it, only if I tell him. He's usually not up for that but a few days ago he was ready to listen. I shared some of my concerns and felt that he heard me for the first time in a while. It was enough for right now. It has to be. I am doing better about taking time for myself. I went to lunch with a girlfriend this week and today I visited an older lady friend because I needed a hug. I spent an hour or so visiting with her. Thank you for your caring heart. He may forget a lot about this time. I think it's a self-defense thing that happens, so don't take it personally if he forgets your talks. He loves you and his soul knows and remembers all your support.
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newlywoods03
Pearl Clutcher
Blessed Beyond Measure
Posts: 2,828
Jun 26, 2014 3:09:09 GMT
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Post by newlywoods03 on May 30, 2015 3:45:58 GMT
Thanks for the update. I must have missed it on FB. I adore you! I'm blessed by you daily. I am encouraged by your walk through this season in your lives. I will continue to pray for Fred, you and your kids. Hugs!! You are an encouragement to many and I am blessed to call you friend!!! It's my latest post. Today and something from last night you should read. about the first good news of the day. And thank you. <3 Are you the one who introduced me to Kara Tippetts? I was able to get her book free on kindle a few weeks ago. Just beginning it and I see echoes of the some of the same things I'm learning. I had to google her, so it wasn't me. Maybe it was Julie? I'm glad that it is meeting you where you are. Those are the best kind!
Off to check out FB
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