bethany102399
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,623
Oct 11, 2014 3:17:29 GMT
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Post by bethany102399 on May 31, 2015 0:24:03 GMT
This started as a how do you afford a vacation thread, but rapidly went downhill as I typed.
Maybe it's because every spare cent we have right now is going toward a down payment on a house, maybe it's my DD's friend whose mother posted photos of them heading off to the Caymans this AM. Maybe it's just the fact that it's rained here what seems like every day for the last 2 weeks and I'm depressed I don't know.
I figured out today, that the last time we went somewhere that was not to stay with family, was 2 days in Omaha 3 years ago. and my mom helped pay for it. Now I like Omaha, I do they have a great Zoo, but I don't consider that a vacation.
The time before that, which was a true vacation, was 8 years and one less child ago.
It seems like "everyone else", and yes, I know I'm using the teenage version of "everyone" is headed somewhere fun and exiting and here we are living on the cheap and putting ANY extra toward a house that seems like a pipe dream.
That's all, hopefully the sun will come out soon and I've already told DH, that if we can scrape together the down payment on a house we can scrape together a vacation, maybe not the Camans, but certainly somewhere that has a large body of water and sand.
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Post by christine58 on May 31, 2015 0:39:15 GMT
Start planning and saving now for next summer....toss that change into a jar etc. Hoping the rain stops...
What about a day trip somewhere??? Even if just a hotel where the kids can swim etc??
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CeeScraps
Pearl Clutcher
~~occupied entertaining my brain~~
Posts: 3,894
Jun 26, 2014 12:56:40 GMT
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Post by CeeScraps on May 31, 2015 0:41:12 GMT
I'm right there with you........vacation has never happened. We've visited family, but that's it. I tried a year ago to arrange something for Christmas break. I worked online with a travel agent. I spoke to her first, gave her our wish list and explained that we were clueless as to cost of things as we had never traveled. She sent me a quote. The quote not only included 2 extra people, but had the wrong dates. I emailed her back and explained. She never responded. So, we still haven't gone anywhere........
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Post by Merge on May 31, 2015 0:47:51 GMT
Can you do anything to earn extra money? A part-time job on the side? Pet/house sitting? Babysitting?
DH teaches a short-term evening class in his area of expertise a few times a year through a local CC. It's a pain for all of us - extra work, difficult scheduling - but that's where our vacation money comes from.
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Post by ntsf on May 31, 2015 0:51:32 GMT
all..and I mean all my vacations as a child were car camping trips..usually to see relatives across the country. I have great memories of these trips. I'm not sure how much of a vacation it was for mom...but it certainly was cheap. maybe look at a trip like that.. or just car camping at a lake for a few days?
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Post by anxiousmom on May 31, 2015 1:00:46 GMT
If it weren't for my parents, I wouldn't go anywhere...so I totally understand. It is hard to listen to my friends all talking about their (to me) extravagant vacations without feeling a bit jealous.
...and I do very much appreciate that my parents like to drag us kids along when they go places. They insist on paying and we are blessed to have that because if it weren't for them, my kids wouldn't have gotten to do some of the cool things that they have.
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bethany102399
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,623
Oct 11, 2014 3:17:29 GMT
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Post by bethany102399 on May 31, 2015 1:05:24 GMT
Camping is not the right fit for our family, but you're right it's cheap and I have fond childhood memories of long car trips as well.
DH and I have discussed him looking into trying to get something part time. He has a friend who bartends at an event space on the weekends, they've talked but nothing came of it. I'll bring it up again with him. Our youngest started K this past fall, which meant a nice chunk of our monthly budget was suddenly freed up last August. When not dealing with unexpected expenses (flat tire last month, I had my wisdom teeth out this month etc) the funds go into the new house account. Now that's actually on hold while we cover the extra childcare expenses summer brings. We'll get there, right now it's just a rainy slog.
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bethany102399
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,623
Oct 11, 2014 3:17:29 GMT
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Post by bethany102399 on May 31, 2015 1:06:26 GMT
This is us, only it's DH's parents.
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Post by 950nancy on May 31, 2015 1:13:30 GMT
I never ever take a vacation for granted. We didn't have a honeymoon and the first time we went somewhere that didn't involve staying with the in-laws was five years after we were married. Now we go somewhere every spring break and have for years. Vacations are always a high priority for me (after all of the bills are paid). I love that quote about how many times your breath is taken away. We camped for three weeks every summer as a kid and I didn't enjoy it. I hope you can save enough $ to get away and just enjoy life even for a couple of days. A house is important, but one that takes all of your money is no fun.
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Post by papersilly on May 31, 2015 1:16:36 GMT
I understand about the house thing. We moved to a pricier neighborhood and have only taken one big vacation in the past 5 years. It was great but I'm not really a long vacation kind of person anymore. I hate being away from home and my dogs for too long.
Early next year is our 25th anniversary and we decided to do a year of "Dream" mini vacations. Four of them within the year. I just booked the first one last night . To me, it beats spending $10-$12k in just one place. Been there done that. Best to spend it at 4 awesome places.
My point is you can take great vacations in smaller increments. It doesn't have to be a balls to the wall trip. Find what works for your budget and enjoy whatever time you can take. If you can't, it's okay too. To me, the goal of a house is far more important than a vacation.
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Post by ~Tracy~ on May 31, 2015 1:36:38 GMT
We just sat down tonight as a family (DH, myself, DS13 and DD10) to make a list of all the places we would like to travel...big or small trips....before the kids graduate and go to college.
We've done Disney World the past three years so we need to start looking at new places. DD and I are going to Disney again in October, and the boys are going to tour a few baseball stadiums in the upper midwest. We are hopefully going to Yellowstone or California next year.
We've been doing the penny challenge and the dollar challenge (look them up on Pinterest for info!) to save up money for trips. It makes it SUPER easy to put money into our vacation accounts and we don't miss it. (Between the two challenges it will save just over $2000!!!)
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scrapaddie
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,090
Jul 8, 2014 20:17:31 GMT
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Post by scrapaddie on May 31, 2015 1:42:44 GMT
We didn't have money to travel untily did was 6 or 7... That would be about 13 years after we married....then it was mostly just a weekend trip
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 5:17:36 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 31, 2015 1:49:08 GMT
I understand your frustration. I have a son with special needs. We've never went on a family vacation since he was born. Camping doesn't count. Even then, it's been less than 5 times. It won't matter if we save thousands of dollars. He can't fly on a plane, sleep in a bed, or stay in a hotel room. Well, he could but I'm considerate of other people.
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janeinbama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,202
Location: Alabama
Jan 29, 2015 16:24:49 GMT
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Post by janeinbama on May 31, 2015 1:52:50 GMT
DH's overtime is what paid for our vacations when kids were young. A house is a great goal, but it gets old when people ask you and kids what are you doing for vacation this summer. We take off when the grandchildren come to visit and when we go to visit DD and family in KY.
Hopefully sunshine is headed your way.
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caangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,676
Location: So Cal
Jun 26, 2014 16:42:12 GMT
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Post by caangel on May 31, 2015 2:08:05 GMT
The big vacations we've been on were because of our generous parents. Besides our honeymoon we haven't been on a big vacation by ourselves as a couple much less family. BUT we do live in a vacation area, So Cal. Instead of a vacation last year we got Disneyland passes. We also have done day trips or a weekend trip to San Diego or Santa Barbara. My inlaws have a cabin in Tahoe so we go there 1-2x in the winter. It's a long drive (8h) and we still have to cook but it is is fun to be in the mountains.
I'm supposed to be planning a Hawaii vacation for next year but we will be staying at a family friend's condo.
While sometimes I feel like we are missing out my kids get plenty of experiences and we just don't see the need for a BIG vacation every year especially since there is so much to do around us.
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perumbula
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Posts: 3,439
Location: Idaho
Jun 26, 2014 18:51:17 GMT
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Post by perumbula on May 31, 2015 2:10:25 GMT
I hear you. We've always lived tight, so vacations have necessarily been a low priority. I have friends who do Hawaii every year. Others who have done Europe. Another friend who's a mucky muck at an international bank goes all over the world all the dang time. Sigh. One of my big dreams as a kid was traveling the world, but once I got married those dreams took a back seat to reality. Our 25th wedding anniversary is in a few years and DH promised me Europe, maybe a river cruise. We've had some changes to our finances recently and this time I'll actually get to go. Don't lose hope. One thing I wish I had done was set aside a little every month for a vacation. We couldn't have done something every year, but we could have ever other year or so. The kids kept asking to go to Yellowstone and it's close enough to us it would have taken less than $1000 to do it. We haven't done it yet. Re evaluate your finances; try a zero balance budget to keep track of every penny. Use a change jar. When you tell yourself no at the store, make a note of the thing you were looking at buying and go put that amount in a vacation jar (even if all you wanted was a $3 bag of truffles.)
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Post by peasapie on May 31, 2015 2:14:08 GMT
That has to be really discouraging, and the weather doesn't help at all.
We didn't go on a vacation for several years, right around saving for a house and having the kids. When we did, it was a day trip to the beach, or camping. Or visiting a friend and staying with them for a couple of days.
First of all...it will get better. Even if you can only do staycations right now, hopefully you can set aside some days to really do things differently at home or take day trips that will help you feel as if you got a break. And when you move in to your new home, this will all be so worth it.
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Loydene
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Posts: 2,639
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico
Jul 8, 2014 16:31:47 GMT
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Post by Loydene on May 31, 2015 2:16:53 GMT
I'm certainly sorry to hear that you are so depressed. I understand about wanting to take vacations and being a bit envious hearing of others' vacation. But, not to be a Miss Merry Sunshine, maybe you could reconsider how you define "vacation". This year we aren't going anywhere. I'm a bit unhappy about that, but my sister is coming to my home and we will have a "stay-cation" -- we will do things we don't usually do. We are going to a baseball game and a street festival -- neither of which I would do were I just on my own. Not the Caymens ... but not the "usual" either -- and frankly, it will be nice to just spend time with her and we can do that in my backyard or living room as easily as we can a beach front condo. So - pull yourself out of your usual and find something to do ... or create something with your family!
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Post by smalltowngirlie on May 31, 2015 2:48:36 GMT
We have had very few big vacations, and to be very honest we really should not have taken some of them because we could not afford them. Looking back we made some dumb choices. The last few years we have done one or two camping trips a year, but we sold our camper so that is not an option anymore.
I have started receiving money from a trust from I am part of. It is not much and we can not count on getting the money, but after we got 2 check we decided to take a week long vacation this summer. We know a nice resort that is about half the price of most. The cabins are nice, but pretty dated, which I am ok with because that means we can afford it. The owners are super sweet. We have the money set aside already for this year. I am hoping we can start a tradition of taking a week off in the summer. It started out that DH family was going to come up for part of the week, but life happened and that is not possible now. We asked some other friends to join us for part of it. We said the cabin is already paid for, so they just need their gas up and part of the food. We know they are on a pretty tight budget, but they said they could do this easily. We are super excited about this.
If I were you, I would do some research looking for some great deals on vacation spots. You can check out day trips or quick weekends. Saving money for a house is an awesome goal, but I would want a little fun here and there.
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Post by crazy4scraps on May 31, 2015 3:18:32 GMT
For many years, we never went anywhere other than DH's family's lake cabin. I'm sorry but spending a week with your MIL really isn't a vacation, LOL. So romantic...NOT! I was very blessed to be able to go on an awesome cruise in the South Pacific with my mom and my two sisters after my mom's twin sister passed away. My mom paid for all of us otherwise neither of my sisters or I could have afforded to go.
Then a few years after that, DH and I had an opportunity to go on a trip to Hawaii that was largely sponsored by vendors for his business. Even though we really couldn't afford it, we went anyway because we didn't know when we would get another chance to go. For what we paid (and considering what we got free) it was well worth the money.
We're in a much better place financially these days and we try to take a "warm" family vacation every couple of winters. It's nice to be able to do, but it took us a long time to get here.
Saving for a house really is a worthy long term goal, and it will feel really good when you achieve it because you get to live in the house every day. But for now, maybe a long weekend somewhere might help you get past feeling so down about not being able to take a longer vacation. Remind yourself that it's not forever.
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mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
Jul 3, 2014 18:13:13 GMT
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Post by mallie on May 31, 2015 3:54:15 GMT
Back in the day, we lived similarly, putting every spare cent towards the house, having no vacations for over 9 years.
If I had to do it over again? I would not do it. I would not live like that. I would take vacations.
Not necessarily big, fancy foreign travel vacations, but vacations nonetheless.
I have learned that vacations are priceless for us, for me, for so many reasons. Not only to recharge, not only to reinvigorate my imagination and my senses, not only to deepen bonds of family, but to create memories that will last far longer than any house will.
I look back at that decade and I remember very little of it other than the daily slog with the occasional highlight of births, deaths, weddings. I truly wish I had wonderful vacation memories too. In hindsight, we should have delayed buying that house in favor of having a little vacation here and there.
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Post by AussieMeg on May 31, 2015 4:28:20 GMT
It seems like "everyone else", and yes, I know I'm using the teenage version of "everyone" is headed somewhere fun and exiting and here we are living on the cheap and putting ANY extra toward a house that seems like a pipe dream.
I totally understand. I myself have done the whole foot-stomping, pouty "Everyone else gets to go overseas" on more than one occasion recently. It seems like everyone I know has gone to either Bali or Thailand or Vietnam in the last year. Some more than once even. Meanwhile, our family holidays for the last 18 years are trips to the beach to stay at the house owned by the company I work for. I love going there, but gee it would be nice to be able to take the kids overseas before they're too old to want to go away with us. DSO and I opened a savings account last year specifically for saving for a holiday. It's a slow process, but we hope to have enough for a decent trip next year after DD has finished Year 12.
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Post by supersoda on May 31, 2015 4:28:24 GMT
You know, a lot has to do with priorities. I never travelled as a kid, and now I will give up a lot to be able to travel. We live in a modest home, partly because we would rather put money toward travel and experiences than sinking it all into our home. We do a big trip about every other year. In between we will usually rent a cabin or beach condo for a more economical trip. Honestly, the kids' favorite place is a river cabin--they're disappointed the years we don't go there.
My inlaws put every cent the had I to their home. It was gorgeous and MIL's pride and joy. But they never travelled or even went out to eat, to the movies, etc. She died much too young at 54 and FIL has said often that he wished they had travelled and done more together.
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Post by freecharlie on May 31, 2015 4:52:04 GMT
Are there places localish to you?
I've lived in colorado my whOle life and there are still parts I haven't seen. Maybe that would work.
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Post by Crack-a-lackin on May 31, 2015 5:18:59 GMT
You're choosing to save money for a down payment. You could just as easily choose to spend your money on a vacation or choose to go into debt for a vacation (that's possibly what "everyone else" is doing).
I know this was mostly a vent for you, but you sound like you feel as if life isn't fair and others get to go on vacation so why can't you. But you should feel empowered. You could go on vacation. You could take that down payment money and go on a vacation tomorrow, but you're choosing not to. Your priority is your down payment. Just like everything, it's about choices.
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Post by betty on May 31, 2015 7:23:56 GMT
Most of our big vacations have been sponsored by my parents or dh's parents but sometimes we do it on our own and still manage to pay the bills. I take advantage of grocery store deals on gift cards and save them towards our vacations...EXample..Publix will have a $50 gas card for $40 with a certain amount of groceries purchased. If I am able to I do the deal that week. Multiply by 6 months = gas for a road trip.
I have accumulated gas cards and restaurant cards (from online things like swagbucks) that we will use for a vacay this summer. Not as extravagant as some vacations but it won't be out of our reach as we have "prepaid" some of the cost.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on May 31, 2015 8:26:56 GMT
I think your vent is valid. Your feelings are valid. It's hard seeing others have the fun we want for ourselves.
But you are working towards a goal of a downpayment for a home. That is a valid and important goal to reach. A home is a safe haven. It will be your most expensive, most important investment of your life.
And I understand the sadness when hearing about other people's vacations. Heck, just reading this thread gave me a bit of it. Reading the r'peas that are talking about only being able to take camping trips instead of travel to Europe. Or only being able to go to the beach.
Camping and going to the beach are completely out of my reach at this point in my life. I could possibly, fathomably, come up with enough money to do it. But I couldn't actually spend it on going for a vacation because I truly need it for living expenses. I would have to go into debt. And it is my choice not to go into debt.
So, I guess this is just my long-winded way of saying that I choose to not even consider the possibility of a vacation at all. I choose that I will spend my income on necessities, and saving my pennies for when a big, unexpected necessity rears its ugly head. And I choose to not pine over a vacation to the beach, or camping, or a cruise, or Europe - because they are as unreachable to me as a vacation to the moon.
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Post by polz on May 31, 2015 8:45:52 GMT
My office is full of haves and have nots. Sue goes on a one month vacation to somewhere far away each year. She also does cruises or trips to tropical islands a few times a year. One day myself and a colleague were having a whinge about how it must be nice. Sue told us she never went anywhere except to see grandparents when her kids were growing up and now that they have left, she can afford it. I believe our time is coming (slowly). DD is 15. I just have her university education to pay for and then, I'll be away.
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suzastampin
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,587
Jun 28, 2014 14:32:59 GMT
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Post by suzastampin on May 31, 2015 11:54:38 GMT
Try to remember that you are saving for something that you will have much longer than vacation memories. While I understand the feelings that you are having, it's quite possible that your friends could be vacationing on a credit card and will have that debt to pay off who knows how long. Hang in there!
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Post by Fidget on May 31, 2015 12:31:03 GMT
There is an app out there called acorns. It links to your debit / credit cards and what it does is rounds every purchase up to the next dollar and deposits the "change" into an account that invests. You're free to take the $$ whenever you need it. I'm not sure how fast it builds, but it may be something you want to look in to and let the cash add up until there is enough for a vacation.
I don't know a lot about it, I saw it on our local news a few weeks ago and have been meaning to check it out.
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