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Post by Heart on Jul 13, 2014 21:33:39 GMT
According to the Peas, that is--
maybe it's cultural, or generational, or just how I was raised, but potlucks are NBD here. People have parties and invite friends over all the time, with some kind of "it's potluck" caveat included. No one blinks. We all get it. Maybe it's Midwestern to want (possibly even feel OBLIGATED) to bring something.
Every time I see something about being tacky, I wonder whether my friends and I are total trash. (I am, at least a little- I cake smashed...)
please share... I have to know.
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Deleted
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Apr 24, 2024 22:28:31 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 13, 2014 21:34:23 GMT
I think hosting a party and expecting people to bring food is tacky.
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Post by traceys on Jul 13, 2014 21:37:26 GMT
I don't think it's tacky, depending on the situation. I have a group of friends and we will sometimes throw together a last minute party to watch a ballgame on tv or something. Everyone will just volunteer to bring whatever.
If I were having a more formal dinner or something like that, I would not do potluck.
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Nink
Pearl Clutcher
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Jul 1, 2014 23:30:44 GMT
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Post by Nink on Jul 13, 2014 21:37:53 GMT
I don't know if they're tacky or not, but I love 'em. We have one every week at my work.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Post by gypsymama on Jul 13, 2014 21:38:27 GMT
i think going to someone's for dinner and not bringing something is tacky... and no, i think potlucks are awesome
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Post by Eddie-n-Harley on Jul 13, 2014 21:40:36 GMT
In my family, if it's been some sort of holiday "party"-- Christmas, Thanksgiving, labor day, whatever-- where we know we're going to get together but the "host" is selected primarily because of tradition and house size, it's always potluck. No one is the host, just the destination.
On the other hand, if someone's hosting a shower of some sort, or a graduation party, then whoever's hosting is responsible for all the food.
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Post by gar on Jul 13, 2014 21:42:39 GMT
I don't think it's tacky, depending on the situation. I have a group of friends and we will sometimes throw together a last minute party to watch a ballgame on tv or something. Everyone will just volunteer to bring whatever. If I were having a more formal dinner or something like that, I would not do potluck. I agree Casual get-together? fine. Dinner party? Nope.
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Post by woodysbetty on Jul 13, 2014 21:43:51 GMT
I don't mind pot lucks but I don't expect folk to bring a dish if I invite for a gathering......but if they do I add it to the menu !!!!
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Post by nepean on Jul 13, 2014 21:44:47 GMT
For me it depends on the purpose of the event. If the purpose is a birthday party, shower, or other event expecting gifts than yes I think potluck is tacky. But, if the event is casual and just friends gathering for a picnic, pool party, watching a game of some sort than I think that potluck is great. If I host a dinner party then I would also not expect anyone to bring anything, usually I decide on a menu with flavors that co ordinate.
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Post by Heart on Jul 13, 2014 21:45:06 GMT
well maybe that's the thing. it's very very rare to do a formal dinner party in my circle. everyone does casual get togethers... and I think it's the height of rudeness not to bring something. I have a feeling I am just "PeaTacky". =P
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 13, 2014 21:48:59 GMT
Not around here. Our community as a whole has a monthly potluck (with meat provided by the HOA) and our own little neighborhood has 6 groups of 8 people each that also have a monthly potluck rotating in each others' homes.
Even though I'm a picky eater, I love a good potluck. It's fun to see or try new recipes that are usually family favorites.
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Post by gmcwife1 on Jul 13, 2014 21:49:46 GMT
My mom's friends are offended if they can't bring food. We also have a large family so we all help with food prep. So most of our gatherings are potluck style, or at least the main people (family and closest friends) bring a dish.
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Post by queenofshoes on Jul 13, 2014 21:51:55 GMT
We have them at work all the time. Everyone loves them. Whenever I invite friends over to swim or hang out they always want to bring part of the menu. Maybe it's just how we are here.
Lesa
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katybee
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Post by katybee on Jul 13, 2014 21:52:20 GMT
For me it depends on the purpose of the event. If the purpose is a birthday party, shower, or other event expecting gifts than yes I think potluck is tacky. But, if the event is casual and just friends gathering for a picnic, pool party, watching a game of some sort than I think that potluck is great. If I host a dinner party then I would also not expect anyone to bring anything, usually I decide on a menu with flavors that co ordinate. Exactly...
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Post by ihaveonly1l on Jul 13, 2014 21:53:12 GMT
For me, if it's an "occasion" that we are celebrating that is directly related to someone in my family, I would plan, prep, and pay for the meal. Like a graduation or birthday party.
If it's a "get together" type thing (especially frequently) then a pot luck is normal. In my old neighborhood, I hosted "Wine Down" Fridays for my girlfriends that also lived in the neighborhood or were friends of someone else there. It was a come if you can, if you miss a week, no big deal type of thing. We all just brought stuff. I'd have something out and some wine, but people would bring their favorite wine or beer and usually a snack to share. We also all understood that some weeks, you've got NOTHING left in your tank and you can come empty handed and not be judged.
Also something like a 4th of July BBQ isn't tacky to be potluck.
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jayfab
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Post by jayfab on Jul 13, 2014 21:53:49 GMT
well maybe that's the thing. it's very very rare to do a formal dinner party in my circle. everyone does casual get togethers... and I think it's the height of rudeness not to bring something. I have a feeling I am just "PeaTacky". =P Well I'm peatacky too then. I can't even remember going to a formal dinner party. Any party I'm involved in is a potluck type event. (weddings & showers excluded) Editing to add that "peatacky" is my new favorite word!!!
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Deleted
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Apr 24, 2024 22:28:31 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 13, 2014 21:57:20 GMT
Potlucks are the norm around here. Even at holiday time. My family wouldn't even THINK of showing up without a dish to pass. When invited to a friend's home, I always ask what I can bring. Fancy shmancy dinners don't happen in my circle.
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Post by chaosisapony on Jul 13, 2014 21:58:21 GMT
Potlucks are great and not tacky at all! The difference, as other peas have already said, lies in whether gifts are expected or not.
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Post by Heart on Jul 13, 2014 21:58:37 GMT
yes! so glad I am not alone =)
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Post by peasapie on Jul 13, 2014 21:58:39 GMT
I wish someone would invite me to a potluck. Must be fun to see the different things people bring.
I'm from the East coast and have never been to one, but no - I don't think it's tacky at all. Just a different approach/culture.
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Post by librarylady on Jul 13, 2014 22:00:36 GMT
So much depends on the circle of guests and purpose of the event.
If you are in a group in which potlucks are the norm/expected arrangement, then no, not tacky.
If you announce a party, invite people and then ask them to bring something, that is tacky/bad manners.
Guest = someone who is not contributing to the time/cost/trouble of the event.
Tacky = inviting someone to an event and saying, "Your cost is xxx." or "OK, you bring xxx"
I thought it was beyond tacky to have my nephew's wedding invitation include a note that said, "Reception will be at xyz, and the cost is $$ per person. Let us know by date if you are coming so we can reserve your place, and send the check by date"
A church member married someone from another country/culture. She invited the entire congregation and then said, "bring a covered dish." We were taken aback, but thought it was a cultural difference, do didn't think poorly of her.
I thought this set up was tacky/rude. We were invited to a couples baby shower, at 2:00 PM, and told it was at a particular restaurant. I thought they had reserved a party room for the event. When we arrived, the shower was in an area of the restaurant, and guests were offered the opportunity to order off the menu. We had eaten, thinking it was a cake/punch shower because of the time--wrong. I was a bit embarrassed because we just ordered a coffee...... I thought it was tacky to expect "guests" to pay for refreshments. Later I learned that the 2 women hosting didn't want to clean their house so came up with the restaurant idea...
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conchita
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Post by conchita on Jul 13, 2014 22:04:40 GMT
I have no hate in my heart for a potluck dinner. At church, group meetings, Super Bowl parties, backyard BBQs it's really nice for everyone to come together. It's like a mini Thanksgiving. But potlucks are different than a dinner. I would hope my guests would show up hungry and enjoy the feast I prepared for them when I invite them to my dinner table. But a potluck? They'd better bring a casserole or ambrosia!
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TXMary
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Post by TXMary on Jul 13, 2014 22:06:03 GMT
Not tacky in my neck of the woods. I wouldn't do one for a formal dinner, but then again I don't remember the last time I hosted or attended a "formal" dinner party at a house. So, maybe I'm tacky.
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Post by chaosisapony on Jul 13, 2014 22:06:08 GMT
I thought it was beyond tacky to have my nephew's wedding invitation include a note that said, "Reception will be at xyz, and the cost is $$ per person. Let us know by date if you are coming so we can reserve your place, and send the check by date"
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marianne
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Jun 25, 2014 21:08:26 GMT
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Post by marianne on Jul 13, 2014 22:07:11 GMT
I don't think they're tacky at all. I love a good community/church potluck. It's fun trying all the different dishes and methods of preparation. If I invited someone for dinner, though, I certainly wouldn't expect them to bring their own food... THAT's tacky.
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Post by polz on Jul 13, 2014 22:07:33 GMT
Not tacky here.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Jul 13, 2014 22:11:49 GMT
Not tacky at all, BUT..I have to ask this. Do you do potlucks for bday parties, engagement parties OP?
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Post by Miss Ang on Jul 13, 2014 22:15:04 GMT
According to the Peas, that is-- maybe it's cultural, or generational, or just how I was raised, but potlucks are NBD here. People have parties and invite friends over all the time, with some kind of "it's potluck" caveat included. No one blinks. We all get it. Maybe it's Midwestern to want (possibly even feel OBLIGATED) to bring something. Every time I see something about being tacky, I wonder whether my friends and I are total trash. (I am, at least a little- I cake smashed...) please share... I have to know. I leave very near Urbana and like you, we cake smashed and we have potlucks all the time. No, we aren't trashy. haha I think if you're having a formal event (by formal, I mean an official "event" that someone would bring a gift to; b'day party, wedding, shower) that you send out invitations to it's inappropriate to write "bring a covered dish" or whatever. But a get together with a phone call, "Hey, we're having a cookout Saturday. BYOB, a covered dish and some lawn chairs to sit outside. I'll have cheeseburgers and hot dogs and xxx." That is perfectly normal around here.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Jul 13, 2014 22:16:13 GMT
That just about covers it. I do throw formal dinner parties, and for those it would be awkward for guests to bring food. So I make clear in the invitation that they should just attend and enjoy. But we also have casual gatherings for family, friends, or my husband's office parties at our home and those are almost always the bring-a-dish variety. I'm never offended either way when invited to other peoples' homes. Whatever works for you, works for me.
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Post by leannec on Jul 13, 2014 22:17:25 GMT
In certain situations they are more than acceptable ... we get together with a group of people a few times a year for a potluck and it is awesome If you are hosting a formal dinner party that is different ... bring a bottle of wine for the host
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