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Post by lollapealooza on Jul 23, 2015 17:01:01 GMT
"Meltdown" always cracks me up. We used to call it a temper tantrum when I was younger.
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AnotherPea
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Jan 4, 2015 1:47:52 GMT
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Post by AnotherPea on Jul 23, 2015 17:02:41 GMT
It was an uncomfortably long wait, but I don't think that's relevant to the kid's or the adults' behavior. This is the nature of restaurants, unfortunately. Has there been any clarity on whether the family really was asked to leave or go outside before the "this has to stop" comment? That seems like a turning point - if they were asked to leave and refused, they are a different kind of rude than if they were just in denial about how disruptive the crying was and kept sitting there waiting for pancakes. I think it was relevant to the toddlers behavior, especially if the/she is hungry. This is being discussed on my Facebook feed this morning and a friend said she read that an eye witness couple said the owner went to the table five times before the final confrontation. I think the adults got into a pissing match and that is unfortunate. I was out to eat with friends sitting on an outside deck table. A couple with three young children were oblivious to their children running up and down the deck between tables, screaming and having the best time. The problem is that is was intrusive on the other diners. The servers said and did nothing. A friend of mine went over to the table and asked the couple to control their children. They did not take it well. I personally am sick and tired of this kind of thing and I think it's becoming the norm. I feel sorry for teachers who have to deal with these children and their parents. They have no self awareness and expect the "it takes a village" to take care of their children. No, thanks. They want the village until the village hurts Snowflake's feelings.
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Deleted
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Jun 23, 2024 2:57:24 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 23, 2015 17:04:32 GMT
"Meltdown" always cracks me up. We used to call it a temper tantrum when I was younger. Probably (maybe?) this kid wasn't crying because she didn't get her way - she was probably hungry and maybe tired or overstimulated - that's a meltdown to me. A temper tantrum makes me think of a kid who starts up because they've been told no or redirected and they're not having it. Throwing oneself on the floor and flailing may accompany a tantrum, but meltdowns are more weepy? Or something. ![:wink:](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/wink.png) I have some sympathy for meltdowns, even if I don't want to listen to it.
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loco coco
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Jun 26, 2014 16:15:45 GMT
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Post by loco coco on Jul 23, 2015 17:08:03 GMT
For me, if a child is crying for more than 5 minutes in a restaurant I would lose it. Parents, take your kid outside, have your food boxed up and go home. I say kudos to the restaurant owner. exactly this
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Post by anxiousmom on Jul 23, 2015 17:10:53 GMT
"Meltdown" always cracks me up. We used to call it a temper tantrum when I was younger. Down here, it was called a hissy fit. ![:laugh:](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/Ivm7lm0DayrhoRpwvCeH.jpg)
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Post by bostonmama on Jul 23, 2015 17:31:23 GMT
"Meltdown" always cracks me up. We used to call it a temper tantrum when I was younger. Probably (maybe?) this kid wasn't crying because she didn't get her way - she was probably hungry and maybe tired or overstimulated - that's a meltdown to me. A temper tantrum makes me think of a kid who starts up because they've been told no or redirected and they're not having it. Throwing oneself on the floor and flailing may accompany a tantrum, but meltdowns are more weepy? Or something. ![:wink:](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/wink.png) I have some sympathy for meltdowns, even if I don't want to listen to it. I think of meltdowns as emotional responses that aren't really under a young child's control. Being hungry, tired, scared, overstimulated, overwhelmed are big triggers. Temper tantrums are more behavioral and done with a goal in mind, even if the child is too young to fully grasp that they are choosing their behavior. It sounds like the child was having a meltdown, and maybe not a temper tantrum. IMO, parenting a meltdown vs a temper tantrum requires a different approach.
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Post by gmcwife1 on Jul 23, 2015 17:46:09 GMT
"Meltdown" always cracks me up. We used to call it a temper tantrum when I was younger. Not related to this thread, but along your line of thinking, we also used to call people bossy, now we call them fixers ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/MNrJDkDuSwqIMVw33MdD.jpg) Can't call a spade a spade, we have to soften it so we don't offend ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/MNrJDkDuSwqIMVw33MdD.jpg)
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Post by Darcy Collins on Jul 23, 2015 19:36:29 GMT
I agree with previous posters that meltdowns are different than tantrums. It's really the reason why my initial response was that while I sympathized with the owner, ultimately yelling at the CHILD was wrong. It's on the parents to first off set their kid up for success in a restaurant or other setting. If their toddler is overly hungry, tired etc. they're going to suffer waiting over an hour for food. I refused to take my kids out with extended family on a vacation as they continually set up situations that were destined for failure. You can't take a toddler who's used to eating at 6 and in bed by 8 to a restaurant at 7 or 8 o'clock and expect anything less than chaos. I expected my kids to behave in restaurants, and very, very rarely had issues with them in even very nice restaurants at a young age. But I always made sure to set them up for success. Don't let you kid get overly hungry, don't go to restaurants during nap or bedtime, life would be a whole lot easier if people realized their kids' limitations. It's really only a few short years before they can handle a whole more easily.
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Post by cmhs on Jul 24, 2015 0:40:19 GMT
I haven't read the entire thread and this is very OT, but I just want to say that I was reading this story online today and realized that I have eaten at this restaurant! DH and I ate breakfast there twice when we were in Portland back in 2007. It was delicious. Would have gone back on on the 3rd day but they were closed.
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Post by gale w on Jul 24, 2015 1:58:37 GMT
Just read about some health department violations at this diner. Nothing to do with this story but of course now it's being mentioned in some articles about it.
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Post by OntarioScrapper on Jul 25, 2015 2:43:32 GMT
Reading what the owner wrote on twitter would make me NOT go to her resturant. She's freaking nuts.
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LeaP
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Jun 26, 2014 23:17:22 GMT
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Post by LeaP on Jul 25, 2015 3:30:23 GMT
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 25, 2015 4:13:47 GMT
I'm another who uses "meltdown" and "temper tantrum" differently. I use "meltdown" to indicate something that happens TO my son as a result of circumstances beyond his ability to control or understand...and he just falls apart. He's scared, tired, hungry, unfamiliar, whatever. A "tantrum" is something he chooses to do because he doesn't want to control his feelings, and wants to exert his will. He experiences both, and my use of different words is to do distinguish different circumstances, not to avoid harsh words.
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Post by myshelly on Jul 25, 2015 4:28:56 GMT
"Meltdown" always cracks me up. We used to call it a temper tantrum when I was younger. Meltdown and temper tantrum are two different things.
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grinningcat
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Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
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Post by grinningcat on Jul 25, 2015 11:14:53 GMT
I'm another who uses "meltdown" and "temper tantrum" differently. I use "meltdown" to indicate something that happens TO my son as a result of circumstances beyond his ability to control or understand...and he just falls apart. He's scared, tired, hungry, unfamiliar, whatever. A "tantrum" is something he chooses to do because he doesn't want to control his feelings, and wants to exert his will. He experiences both, and my use of different words is to do distinguish different circumstances, not to avoid harsh words. I get what you're saying, and agree to a point. But isn't this also a tomayto tomahto kind of thing? Meltdown or tantrum both need swift and immediate action, rather than sitting around and ignoring the escalating situation while muttering "soothing" words to the offending child. That just happened to me... it took a lot of self-control to not tell the parents to learn how to parent or take the offender outside myself. Not that I wanted to hear one more wail from that kid (I edited that from the word brat. Even though I think the kid was being a brat, his parents were worse by not immediately removing the kid).
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 25, 2015 15:07:36 GMT
I'm another who uses "meltdown" and "temper tantrum" differently. I use "meltdown" to indicate something that happens TO my son as a result of circumstances beyond his ability to control or understand...and he just falls apart. He's scared, tired, hungry, unfamiliar, whatever. A "tantrum" is something he chooses to do because he doesn't want to control his feelings, and wants to exert his will. He experiences both, and my use of different words is to do distinguish different circumstances, not to avoid harsh words. I get what you're saying, and agree to a point. But isn't this also a tomayto tomahto kind of thing? Meltdown or tantrum both need swift and immediate action, rather than sitting around and ignoring the escalating situation while muttering "soothing" words to the offending child. Absolutely agree. In either case, parents need to be considerate of the environment they are in. In a place such as a restaurant or a store, no matter the cause of the screaming, if the child cannot be quieted, the parents need to remove the child from the situation. The difference between tantrum and meltdown then determines if the child needs to be disciplined for the outburst.
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Post by bostonmama on Jul 25, 2015 17:13:02 GMT
I get what you're saying, and agree to a point. But isn't this also a tomayto tomahto kind of thing? Meltdown or tantrum both need swift and immediate action, rather than sitting around and ignoring the escalating situation while muttering "soothing" words to the offending child. Absolutely agree. In either case, parents need to be considerate of the environment they are in. In a place such as a restaurant or a store, no matter the cause of the screaming, if the child cannot be quieted, the parents need to remove the child from the situation. The difference between tantrum and meltdown then determines if the child needs to be disciplined for the outburst. The difference wasn't pointed out with regards to how to handle a child in a public setting. It was brought up because the mother of diner child said she was having a temper tantrum, almost to justify their 'not putting up with it' and ignoring the behavior. Or so it seemed. The poor child was probably so far over her limit at that point she probably was just melting down. Either way she should have been removed from the situation. In the privacy of one's own, for example, parenting a meltdown should look different than parenting a temper tantrum. They need compassion, understanding, & security when something has pushed them over their limits of emotional control. A behavioral tantrum would call for a more strategic response. IMO, anyway.
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Post by myshelly on Jul 25, 2015 17:16:25 GMT
I'm another who uses "meltdown" and "temper tantrum" differently. I use "meltdown" to indicate something that happens TO my son as a result of circumstances beyond his ability to control or understand...and he just falls apart. He's scared, tired, hungry, unfamiliar, whatever. A "tantrum" is something he chooses to do because he doesn't want to control his feelings, and wants to exert his will. He experiences both, and my use of different words is to do distinguish different circumstances, not to avoid harsh words. I get what you're saying, and agree to a point. But isn't this also a tomayto tomahto kind of thing? Meltdown or tantrum both need swift and immediate action, rather than sitting around and ignoring the escalating situation while muttering "soothing" words to the offending child. That just happened to me... it took a lot of self-control to not tell the parents to learn how to parent or take the offender outside myself. Not that I wanted to hear one more wail from that kid (I edited that from the word brat. Even though I think the kid was being a brat, his parents were worse by not immediately removing the kid). Oh I totally agree with you, All of the meltdown/tantrum posts were only in response to one specific poster who said "In my day we called that a temper tantrum" People were only telling that poster the difference because she specifically asked about the wording. Doesn't have anything to do with the rest of the thread/response of the parents/actions of the owner.
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Post by melanell on Jul 25, 2015 17:49:35 GMT
I use the terms "meltdown" and "temper tantrum" to mean different things, yes. But I also remove a child in the midst of either of them as soon as I realize that they are not going to stop. For us, when in public, a kid gets one warning, maybe, depending on the kid and the circumstance. We can do the 3 strikes you're out thing at home, but out and about you might get a chance to change your behavior or perhaps you won't. It depends on the situation. DS #1 loved restaurants and was very good at them. DS #2 is just finally starting to get to the point where I can count on him to make it through a meal eating out. He was not like DS #1 at all in this regard. So one time (And yes, it only ever happened once with #1.) DS #1 started whining at a restaurant I took him outside immediately and told him he had one chance to shape up or we were shipping out. We went back in and he was fine. With DS #2, I wouldn't go that route. I'd tell him "stop or we leave" while still at the table, because I know with him, the behavior would escalate as I brought him out to chat with him. Recently when DS #2 threw a tantrum in a parking lot on the way to the store, I didn't give him any chances. I just picked him up and carried him back to the car. Because I know that my kids are different and once the little guy starts, he likely won't stop or it will take a long time to get him to stop. And I feel that no one besides the family that loves him should be subjected to having to listen to him once he starts. ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/MNrJDkDuSwqIMVw33MdD.jpg)
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Post by melanell on Jul 25, 2015 17:55:06 GMT
With our kids, meltdown mode is typically our fault. It happens when we haven't planned well and a child is hungry or thirsty and they have to wait longer than they are currently capable of waiting to have those needs met. OR, it's because we have a child who really needs us to stop and let them rest and we're trying to squeeze in one more errand, etc. A temper tantrum can happen any time a kid is told "No" or "Wait" and they are really, really unhappy about that. And we don't have a whole lot of issues with them, except for DS #2 and waiting at restaurants, which is why when he was really little he very rarely was allowed in a restaurant. ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/MNrJDkDuSwqIMVw33MdD.jpg)
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Post by katieanna on Jul 25, 2015 18:01:21 GMT
Without having read all the responses, my first reaction was to side with the owner,,,,until I viewed the link of her Facebook post. Both parties were way out of line in my opinion. Children need to learn how to behave in public. The parents should have seen the need to leave the restauraunt..couldn't they tell that their child was disrupting others to the degree that something needed to be done? While I realize that the owner was busy and no doubt frustrated too, she should NEVER have yelled at that child,,,and her resultant FB post was inexcusable. This is one situation that had a very simple solution. It's too bad that neither party realized it...But then, maybe they didn't want to.
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