iowgirl
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Post by iowgirl on Dec 1, 2015 21:36:42 GMT
LOL - Lord no. Never.
He might have stopped in and checked on me. If it wasn't too busy, he would have taken the child causing the most issues with him for a few hours (there is always one stirring the pot).
I remember once having the flu so bad. I couldn't even get up and move. I was so wiped out, I didn't even know what day of the week it was.
God bless my MIL. She brought food over for the kids to eat and took them home with her for hours at a time. She got them to Scout meetings and whatever else I was beyond caring about. She's is a gem and I am lucky to have her!
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pridemom
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Post by pridemom on Dec 1, 2015 21:38:41 GMT
Back in the day, I asked dh to take off 2-3 times when I was very ill and couldn't have cared for the kids. That's what partners do. Fortunately, he has always had plenty of sick leave.
He will take sick leave when I go to see specialists, and I do the same for him.
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Post by katiejane on Dec 1, 2015 21:41:47 GMT
We had no family near us when my kids were little. So he did if it was major. Violent stomach bug - throwing up every 10 mins, yes he did. Proper flu with crazy high temperature and hallucinations - yes. Feeling rough with a nasty cold - no thats a tv day.
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Post by mom on Dec 1, 2015 21:44:16 GMT
My husband has only stayed home with the kids one time when I was sick. I had the most horrible stomach bug - like nasty bug - and literally lived in the bathroom for 2 days. Hubs came home and kept our boys because they were 2 and 4. He stayed home the second day after I was not better.
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Post by Zee on Dec 1, 2015 21:57:33 GMT
I wasn't a SAHM but I worked nights and was always the one to be home with them. There was only one time I asked DH to come home, when I had a stomach virus so incapacitating that I could barely leave the bathroom and DS had it too and I couldn't even lift him to bathe his accidents. I tried, but by afternoon I was barely able to crawl down the hall. Other than that I've never been so sick I couldn't care for them. When I had scarlet fever they were old enough to get their own snacks, watch TV, bring me water, and call 911 if died which I felt like I might do  |
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Post by shamrock on Dec 1, 2015 22:00:24 GMT
DH never has.
I had influenza really bad (as in we talked the doctor out of hospitalizing me by promising I'd drink x amount every hour and do nothing) was pregnant with DS2 & DS1 was 18 months old. DH still went to work. Now, he had arranged for my mom to come be with me. Unfortunately it snowed so much that she couldn't get out of her driveway. DH was able to get to work w/ 4 wheel drive.
Last week he did offer to stay home, but the boys are old enough (11 & 9) to totally take care of themselves & me when I'm sick.
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Post by hop2 on Dec 1, 2015 22:02:56 GMT
Ha hahahaha Your kidding me right?
My DH never once stayed home. When I had the second baby and was in the hospital. That's it!
DH had the flu, stayed home 3 days wednesday thru friday. Made we wait on him hand and foot. Then went back to work on Monday.
On Tuesday I felt unwell he said be careful not to get kids sick went to work. On Wednesday He found I had passed out when changing DS first thing in the morning before He left for work. Literally I was out cold on the floor, DS on the changing table. DH woke me up and that was it. Didn't even finish changing baby.
DS was about 3 months old and not yet sick. DD was 2 and not yet sick. DH Left me home witha toddler, an infant and the flu and 101 fever.
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Post by Gingergirl on Dec 1, 2015 22:03:14 GMT
If I was so sick I couldn't get out of bed I wouldn't even have to ask him to stay home, he would just do it. Not only does he take care of the kid while I'm down but he takes care of me.
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Post by Linda on Dec 1, 2015 22:10:47 GMT
umm...no and I wouldn't expect him to either.
He took the day off when I was in actual labour with the girls and also when I had my d/c. Other than that, no, never
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Post by Karmady on Dec 1, 2015 22:14:36 GMT
Yes, he has stayed home a few times. I am rarely sick but I have had a full flu virus a few times in our married life. Both occassions I could barely get out of bed. Two of my kids were fine and I could move to the couch and "supervise" them. My oldest is in a wheelchair and needs full care. He's 21 and I have to lift him on/off the toilet, dress him, feed him etc. He has never had the flu and it would be awful if he did get it. Dh took 2 days off when I had the flu really badly- pounding headache, chills, high fever and vomiting. He took care of the kids, especially the oldest. I'm fine to go die in the bedroom by myself.
He also took a day off when I had my gall bladder out. I had to organize people to come to my house and help with my oldest because I wasn't suppose to lift him after surgery.
For the record, I'm not a needy woman at all. I'm stubborn and prefer to do things on my own.
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breetheflea
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Post by breetheflea on Dec 1, 2015 22:21:46 GMT
If the kids are sick but I'm not no he doesn't stay home.
There have been a few times where I've been sick and asked him to come home early... Sometimes he can and sometimes he can't. Those times he works from home so he's here but not sitting around play computer games. Once I asked him to come home early and he said no, and I had to drive to pick the kids from school with a puke bucket in my car just in case... that is the only time I've been annoyed he wouldn't come home early. I probably shouldn't have been driving that day...
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Post by myshelly on Dec 1, 2015 22:23:42 GMT
This is one of those threads where I read some of the responses and think why would you be married to someone like that <shudder>.
I just truly don't get it.
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Post by melanell on Dec 1, 2015 22:25:25 GMT
We don't know that this woman actually asked her husband to stay home, right? I feel like there's this vibe in this thread that the guy did something nice and a whole mess of us are annoyed with the wife because of it.  |
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johnnysmom
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Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Dec 1, 2015 22:29:19 GMT
We don't know that this woman actually asked her husband to stay home, right? I feel like there's this vibe in this thread that the guy did something nice and a whole mess of us are annoyed with the wife because of it. I believe she did and not a day, but a week. |
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Post by myshelly on Dec 1, 2015 22:33:41 GMT
We don't know that this woman actually asked her husband to stay home, right? I feel like there's this vibe in this thread that the guy did something nice and a whole mess of us are annoyed with the wife because of it. I believe she did and not a day, but a week. If he has the time to take then I don't understand why this is an issue at all. |
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Post by compwalla on Dec 1, 2015 22:33:43 GMT
Haha. No. He has stayed home with me some after my surgeries but if I'm just sick? No, he goes to work. When he was active duty and my kids were little he was often halfway round the world when I was sick. I am perfectly capable of wrangling kids while throwing up. Once when my youngest was a toddler I had a terrible stomach virus while DH was in the desert. I could barely get out of bed. We had a TV in our bedroom and a big comfy love seat so I brought the little one upstairs, turned on Nick Jr, and locked the bedroom door. You do what you have to do.  |
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Post by creativegirl on Dec 1, 2015 22:35:19 GMT
My DD is almost 2 and thankfully this hasn't been an issue yet. My DH did take off work for me pre-baby though- once I threw out my back and couldn't move and once when I was having pregnancy complications. I don't think there's any shame in that- we all need a little help sometimes!
Also, this thread is making me really grateful that both my husband and his company realize that there is more to life than work. They have a program in place to take a day off specifically to care for immediate family members.
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Post by melanell on Dec 1, 2015 22:36:10 GMT
We don't know that this woman actually asked her husband to stay home, right? I feel like there's this vibe in this thread that the guy did something nice and a whole mess of us are annoyed with the wife because of it. I believe she did and not a day, but a week. I missed that it was for a whole week. I wonder if she's going through a hard time. When I was suffering from PPD, but didn't realize (or hadn't admitted it) yet, I often really wished for DH to stick by me. I didn't want to be alone, yet I didn't want anyone else coming by, either. It was a tough time before I finally went to the doctor and started being treated. |
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Post by melanell on Dec 1, 2015 22:41:08 GMT
Also, this thread is making me really grateful that both my husband and his company realize that there is more to life than work. They have a program in place to take a day off specifically to care for immediate family members. I agree. When I was pregnant with DS #1, I was on bedrest, I couldn't drive, and I kept getting sick. DH spent so much time home with me back then. We both missed so much work. Then after I returned to work the depression kicked in, and he was right back at it trying to be there for me, take me to appts., etc. It was a year and a half that while very hard on us, would have been so much worse if we didn't have the ability to take the time away from work. |
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Post by bc2ca on Dec 1, 2015 22:43:53 GMT
I'm positive DH stayed home at least once when I was sick with the flu and the kids were toddlers. We did not have anyone else local that could help. Once we were established, I always had someone that could either take the kids or get them to/from school if needed. DH might check in a couple of times a day and/or come home early.
I can't imagine booking off a whole week sick unless the spouse is recovering from surgery.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Dec 1, 2015 22:44:59 GMT
DH took off two weeks when I had DD (c-section) but five of those days I was in the hospital. (His business partner at the time took off SIX WEEKS when he had minor surgery on his wrist, to give a comparison. Needless to say, that person isn't his partner anymore.) After that, I was on my own and I couldn't lift more than 10 lbs, drive or anything. Other than that, no. I would have to be in the hospital near death for him to take off work. He's not a selfish jerk. If he doesn't work he doesn't get paid, so I wouldn't even go there unless it was something very serious.
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eleezybeth
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Jun 28, 2014 20:42:01 GMT
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Post by eleezybeth on Dec 1, 2015 22:45:15 GMT
This is one of those threads where I read some of the responses and think why would you be married to someone like that <shudder>. I just truly don't get it. My thoughts exactly. This is just another way we play the Mommy Wars. It makes me sad. |
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Post by Prenticekid on Dec 1, 2015 22:46:50 GMT
No. I never did when I was a SAHM. That's not to say he wasn't helpful before he left for work or when he came home, made sure I was stocked up with gingerale and soup, that sort of thing. But, just no.
The only person I know who does that has borderline personality disorder, and I think it has to do with that based on her other conduct. He has had to call off because she had bad cramps. He has had to call off because she got a rash. She even has him stay home when the kids are sick. She's a SAHM of 2 school aged children - who are 5 years apart (5 and 10).
My point being that the only SAHM I have ever known to do this is a bit of a nutter.
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Post by ahiller on Dec 1, 2015 22:47:10 GMT
No, he wouldn't unless it was an emergency. Thankfully, my mom or in-laws would (and have) come over or volunteer to take the kids.
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Post by gmcwife1 on Dec 1, 2015 22:51:12 GMT
I've never been so sick that I couldn't get out of bed except once last year. And that was between Christmas and New Year's and our dd is 16. So I have never had to even consider asking dh to take off work to take care of me or dd. He did call in/take off the day she was born. They let you do that in the Navy when/if they can  But other than that he couldn't take off sick for himself let alone me back then. Now he works at the jail and rarely calls in sick for himself so I can't imagine asking him to call in for me. |
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Post by maryland on Dec 1, 2015 23:03:46 GMT
That would be a big fat no. This reminds me of the times I've also heard women needing someone to help them/stay overnight with them when their dh's are out of town on business. Haha! My friends look forward to their husband's trips so they can have the house to themselves (and not have to cook!).  Their husbands enjoy when they (the wives) go out of town too. Just to enjoy relaxing for a couple of days. My 16 yr. old was going to have the house to herself overnight a few days ago, but my husbands trip was canceled by his boss so she didn't get the opportunity! She was disappointed! I was taking my other daughter back to college. I do think it's great when a wife or husband is able to work from home or take off to help when their spouse or children need it. |
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Post by gypsymama on Dec 1, 2015 23:09:45 GMT
This is one of those threads where I read some of the responses and think why would you be married to someone like that <shudder>. I just truly don't get it. that's exactly what i've been thihnking this whole thread!! some of these dh's are total dicks and you all are enabling them! why on earth marry someone so assholian much less have his kids... |
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Post by gmcwife1 on Dec 1, 2015 23:21:18 GMT
This is one of those threads where I read some of the responses and think why would you be married to someone like that <shudder>. I just truly don't get it. that's exactly what i've been thihnking this whole thread!! some of these dh's are total dicks and you all are enabling them! why on earth marry someone so assholian much less have his kids... Maybe it's more about people being raised differently or even people having different jobs and expectations I wasn't raised to ask for things from others so it wouldn't even occur to me to ask dh to stay home. Just like he wouldn't ask me to stay home to help him either. I have always been taught to do things on my own which is the first way I go about things. Doesn't make it better or worst, just makes it how I was raised and what comes naturally to me. Also some jobs don't take as well to calling in as other jobs do. My dh has 800+ hours of sick time. A few on here would think that he should just call in whenever since he has it. That isn't how he was raised and that isn't his work ethic. Again more about being raised and thinking differently than him being an asshole because he doesn't do things that way a few people here think he should. Maybe some of these dh's work retail and need every hour they can get. Maybe some of them are in the military and aren't allowed to call in. My dh was only home sick once in the 24 yrs he was in the Navy - he had bronchitis so they sent him home and he was home for 2 days. There is usually more to stories and relationships then the few sentences we see on a message board |
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Post by salem on Dec 1, 2015 23:22:57 GMT
You don't get an award for holding the toilet while you puke with one hand and a squirming toddler with the other. I never had to ask DH in that situation, it was pretty much a given that he would take the day and care for his own kid when I just couldn't. sick/personal days are there for a reason and sometimes others just have to pick up the slack and keep the judgements out of it. Who knows what the wife is dealing with.
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MsKnit
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Jun 26, 2014 19:06:42 GMT
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Post by MsKnit on Dec 1, 2015 23:28:16 GMT
No. I've been recovering from surgery and still took care of my kid, while DH went off to work.
Sometimes my MIL would send food or come to the house to bath the boy, or FIL picked up the boy for a couple of hours while I rested. But, DH went to work.
Otherwise, we would watch a movie or kid's television or whatever to entertain the kid..
ETA: I don't find the scenario shocking, as it's what happens with a SIL. She was complaining about her husband not doing his fair share once and told me she had called him to come home because it was his turn to change diapers. I was speechless! They kept a list of who changed what and it had to be equal--#1 & #2 had to be equally changed. She would also call him home because she was tired of wrangling the kids. She was a SAHM.
So, a husband calling in because his wife is sick is tame to me.
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But other than that he couldn't take off sick for himself let alone me back then. Now he works at the jail and rarely calls in sick for himself so I can't imagine asking him to call in for me. 
Their husbands enjoy when they (the wives) go out of town too. Just to enjoy relaxing for a couple of days. 
