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Post by melodyesch on Dec 23, 2015 20:00:59 GMT
I would be so stressed if I'd have to give anyone a gift in the US around Christmas time. The importance that people allocate to what they get seems so huge. I keep reading it everywhere, not just this thread. Someone else gets a dog themded gift and you don't? Disappointed. Your mom gets a McD giftcard? Disappointed. You get a less expensive gift then you bought? Hisappointed. You get a lotion or a candle that's not exactly the scent you wanted? Disappointed. Someene gets your kids something noisy? Disappointed. Someone gets your kids something that's not wrapped in the right paper? Disappointed. Your husband does not get you a gift? Disappointed. Your husband buys you something that's not on your amazon wishlist? Christmas is ruined! Your husband gets you nice lingerie (!!!) ? HOW DARE HE! Good heavens. Good heavens. Gosh, that's a big sweeping generalization about an entire nation based on some disappointed (rightfully) peas. Particularly when the whole pod isn't even American. People here post all sorts of joys as well. I'll bet if you posted a thread asking about the happiness people have experienced in giving and receiving gifts you'd have a ton of responses. And probably from one or two Americans.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 5, 2024 7:32:05 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 23, 2015 20:43:54 GMT
I would be so stressed if I'd have to give anyone a gift in the US around Christmas time. The importance that people allocate to what they get seems so huge. I keep reading it everywhere, not just this thread. Someone else gets a dog themded gift and you don't? Disappointed. Your mom gets a McD giftcard? Disappointed. You get a less expensive gift then you bought? Hisappointed. You get a lotion or a candle that's not exactly the scent you wanted? Disappointed. Someene gets your kids something noisy? Disappointed. Someone gets your kids something that's not wrapped in the right paper? Disappointed. Your husband does not get you a gift? Disappointed. Your husband buys you something that's not on your amazon wishlist? Christmas is ruined! Your husband gets you nice lingerie (!!!) ? HOW DARE HE! Good heavens. Good heavens. Gosh, that's a big sweeping generalization about an entire nation based on some disappointed (rightfully) peas. Particularly when the whole pod isn't even American. People here post all sorts of joys as well. I'll bet if you posted a thread asking about the happiness people have experienced in giving and receiving gifts you'd have a ton of responses. And probably from one or two Americans. You are right, that was a really big and unreasonable generalization, and I apologize. Form what I see here on the board though, there seems to be a very large value put on getting the 'right' gift. Where I live, I just don't hear conversations like this, ever - we have big traditional gift giving occasions, but I've never seen the levels of dissappointment and resentment I tend to see here. It seems less of a deal.
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mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
Jul 3, 2014 18:13:13 GMT
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Post by mallie on Dec 23, 2015 20:50:10 GMT
I would be so stressed if I'd have to give anyone a gift in the US around Christmas time. The importance that people allocate to what they get seems so huge. I keep reading it everywhere, not just this thread. Someone else gets a dog themded gift and you don't? Disappointed. Your mom gets a McD giftcard? Disappointed. You get a less expensive gift then you bought? Hisappointed. You get a lotion or a candle that's not exactly the scent you wanted? Disappointed. Someene gets your kids something noisy? Disappointed. Someone gets your kids something that's not wrapped in the right paper? Disappointed. Your husband does not get you a gift? Disappointed. Your husband buys you something that's not on your amazon wishlist? Christmas is ruined! Your husband gets you nice lingerie (!!!) ? HOW DARE HE! Good heavens. Good heavens. Gosh, that's a big sweeping generalization about an entire nation based on some disappointed (rightfully) peas. Particularly when the whole pod isn't even American. People here post all sorts of joys as well. I'll bet if you posted a thread asking about the happiness people have experienced in giving and receiving gifts you'd have a ton of responses. And probably from one or two Americans. Exactly. People tend to post about the things that bug them more than the things that have made them happy. Just like people call Customer Service to complain rather than to praise. Human nature and I'd bet it's not just American human nature. I will say that I reluctantly participated in a Work Secret Santa and downgraded any expectations I had when I was told that my SS was someone who disliked me. We got along okay for work, but we just rubbed each other the wrong way. The person who told me did so to warn me to downgrade any expectations. To my shock, my SS got me an absolutely lovely gift that showed she paid attention to my likes and dislikes plus she had clearly gone out of her way to obtain the gift...frankly, she did a much better, more thoughtful job of giving me a gift than my husband. That was a life lesson about the CHOICE people can make in being thoughtful and kind. I still have that gift and every time I see the item, it is a welcome reminder about the goodness in people. I remember that gift and that lesson far better than any bad SS gift.
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Post by scrapperal on Dec 28, 2015 14:09:21 GMT
We have one Santa at work that is more interested in being clever with his clues to find his gift rather than "spoiling" his recipient. His clues are so convoluted and complicated, that they require a go-between to get an explanation from him to pass onto the recipient. He hasn't figured out that his style gives him away as the Santa with his first clue, lol.
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Nicole in TX
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,951
Jun 26, 2014 2:00:21 GMT
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Post by Nicole in TX on Dec 28, 2015 15:02:08 GMT
I would be so stressed if I'd have to give anyone a gift in the US around Christmas time. The importance that people allocate to what they get seems so huge. I keep reading it everywhere, not just this thread. Someone else gets a dog themded gift and you don't? Disappointed. Your mom gets a McD giftcard? Disappointed. You get a less expensive gift then you bought? Hisappointed. You get a lotion or a candle that's not exactly the scent you wanted? Disappointed. Someene gets your kids something noisy? Disappointed. Someone gets your kids something that's not wrapped in the right paper? Disappointed. Your husband does not get you a gift? Disappointed. Your husband buys you something that's not on your amazon wishlist? Christmas is ruined! Your husband gets you nice lingerie (!!!) ? HOW DARE HE! Good heavens. Good heavens. These things are unique to the US? I don't care for secret Santa exchanges as it stresses me out trying to get something for a 'stranger' when I don't know them well. I would just rather take my $20 and spend it on myself on exactly what I know I would like!
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Post by scrapbookwriter on Dec 28, 2015 15:38:42 GMT
When I was 17, a guy I had dated a bit invited me to his company Christmas party. The party ended with a white elephant gift exchange. My date Jerry thoughtfully supplied gifts from both of us.
It was my first gift exchange and I was excited to see what I got. It was a pair of athletic socks with holes in them.
One of The gifts Jerry brought was the hit of the night: a pair of Weebles. Do you remember those? They are little egg-shaped figures - I think they had a playhouse or something. "Weebles wobble but they don't fall down."
Those Weebles were stolen again and again. I sat with my holey socks and watched the fun.
Jerry felt so bad about my gift that the next day he drove to a toy store to buy me some Weebles. He was driving his dad's camper and drove through the Photomat lane. (Photomats were little drive-through places where you could drop off your film for developing. My but I am dating myself with this post.) The low roof of the Photomat tore a hole in his dad's camper. Most expensive Weebles ever.
Jerry and I remained friends for years, through my time away at college and his cross-country move. Most every letter he wrote to me ended with, "You'd better still have those Weebles."
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zztop11
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,537
Oct 10, 2014 0:54:51 GMT
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Post by zztop11 on Dec 28, 2015 16:03:46 GMT
We did Secret Santa (this was years ago, not that that makes a difference). Small gifts all week leading up to a larger gift the last day. I found a container in my mailbox with one muffin in it. The 3 other muffins had been removed. Disgusting to say the least. That was my last year doing Secret Santa.
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Post by janet100 on Dec 28, 2015 16:03:59 GMT
I've had some go well, but most of them didn't. Personally, if given the chance, I opt out of participating in an office gift exchange. I do go to gift parties with friends though.
Relationships among co-workers is rarely made better by these parties and (as a snarky poster has pointed out) people get their feelings hurt or feel disappointed. I find it hard enough to keep the moral happy and upbeat in an office without adding non-work, non-productive games that get people miffed at each other. There are better ways to build team work.
There will always be people who don't give a crap and it shows in their gifts, people who are stressed out with kids and no time (so they forgot), people who are forced to interact with folks they usually steer clear of, and people who are struggling financially and resent having to spend their own money on this stuff, etc. It's just unnecessary stress at a stressful time of the year - and it can bring out the worst personality traits in people.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 5, 2024 7:32:05 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 28, 2015 16:52:41 GMT
Form what I see here on the board though, there seems to be a very large value put on getting the 'right' gift. Where I live, I just don't hear conversations like this, ever - we have big traditional gift giving occasions, but I've never seen the levels of dissappointment and resentment I tend to see here. It seems less of a deal. [/quote] That's the thing. I don't hear these things said either - in person. I hear them here where people feel safe and don't need to worry about coworker or family relationships.
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M in Carolina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,128
Jun 29, 2014 12:11:41 GMT
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Post by M in Carolina on Dec 28, 2015 18:57:25 GMT
I would be so stressed if I'd have to give anyone a gift in the US around Christmas time. The importance that people allocate to what they get seems so huge. I keep reading it everywhere, not just this thread. Someone else gets a dog themded gift and you don't? Disappointed. Your mom gets a McD giftcard? Disappointed. You get a less expensive gift then you bought? Hisappointed. You get a lotion or a candle that's not exactly the scent you wanted? Disappointed. Someene gets your kids something noisy? Disappointed. Someone gets your kids something that's not wrapped in the right paper? Disappointed. Your husband does not get you a gift? Disappointed. Your husband buys you something that's not on your amazon wishlist? Christmas is ruined! Your husband gets you nice lingerie (!!!) ? HOW DARE HE! Good heavens. Good heavens. I am glad you apologized. As the OP of one of the gift threads, I will state again that it wasn't the gift itself that I didn't like, it was that my dh wasn't LISTENING to my needs. I really enjoy giving gifts to others and having something to open on a special day. My dh's primary love language is doing stuff for others and having people do stuff for him. I packed his clothes and dopp kit for our trip and even put everything in the car so all he had to do was get dressed. He normally does all this but was feeling so poorly. It meant so much more to him because doing all that activity and lifting stuff is very painful for me. My dh wound up giving me two of my favourite candy bars on Christmas, and I was absolutely thrilled and happy. One of them is Snickers, and they have different words on the wrapper. The word he chose was loopy. We both laughed and laughed and had a good natured argument about which one of us was the loopy one. The day after Christmas dh spent the day with a friend he never gets to see. Dh walked by a gift shop that sold beads for the Pandora and Trollbeads bracelets. He surprised me by choosing some handmade beads and surprising me with them. I am so happy. I would have still been happy if dh didn't get me anything. He's an amazing person and husband. I just felt a bit sad that he didn't seem to understand what would please me. I would never complain in person to him or anyone else about what someone gave me. I do feel that the refupeas is a safe place to vent and have others commiserate or have completely different opinions. The best part about the refupeas is that we can communicate with love. Handslaps and people that pretend that they and their lives are perfect aren't helpful or appreciated at all. The best peas are the ones who admit when they're wrong and learn from their mistakes. I have definitely learned from the peas and am more grateful for my dh and don't give him a hard time if he doesn't get me a gift or gives me something that he wants. I totally understand the work Secret Santa exchanges and how frustrating it is to put so much thought into a gift EXCHANGE and have someone give you an old candy necklace when everyone else is getting great gifts. Those are good life lessons, but it's the reason why many companies no longer do these exchanges.
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Post by lisacharlotte on Dec 28, 2015 20:06:13 GMT
I'm curious to know where this Utopia is located where EVERYONE is grateful and never complains. I'll be buying two tickets to Paradise!!!
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