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Post by bosoxbeth on Jul 25, 2014 16:57:00 GMT
I would't LOVE it but it's not the biggest deal. (My daughter is of the same age and has a boyfriend so we are always thinking about these types of issues....what's appropriate, what's not!)
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Deleted
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Jun 26, 2024 13:01:35 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 25, 2014 17:32:08 GMT
What it boils down to is that
1) it's a gift that can be interpreted in various ways - at least one of them being questionable. 2) age of both the giver and receiver 3) more than one set of parents involved - even if one thinks it's fine, the other might not and could perceive your DD or their relationship differently 4) it, at the very least, involves having a double standard in order to be acceptable
All of those things make it completely unacceptable in my eyes. It never hurts to err on the safe side of caution and this one has red caution flags all over it.
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Post by happymom on Jul 25, 2014 22:14:24 GMT
Heck no! Buy him some shades , or a new watch.... Ijs That's the thing, boxers are a really good price point. 5-15 dollars and express personality and his interest batman, college or pro sports, family guy duck dynasty etc.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 25, 2014 22:18:24 GMT
Nah, that'd be ok with me. Now if they were "sexy underwear" ![:sick:](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/c2qi57qoGpXKdFvBtXdt.jpg) I'd have a problem with it!!
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stampstace
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Post by stampstace on Jul 25, 2014 22:41:28 GMT
As the mom of two teenage boys both of which had girlfriends buy them american eagle boxers. Inside I cringe but I also think it i all in good fun. As the mom of an almost 16 year old girl I would throw a fit if a boyfriend bought my daughter underwear (double standard probably but boxers cover them - my daughters thongs do not!!!!)
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Post by sues on Jul 25, 2014 23:12:08 GMT
BF- I'm sitting with you.
On the subject of Victoria's Secret- when my dd was 10, my sister in law thought it was a great idea to buy her clothes with their logo all over them as a birthday gift. (Sigh. No thanks.) We politely requested a gift receipt. At a party later that month, my brother told dd that they were trying to find the receipt. SIL's best friend stuck her nose in and said "You don't need a receipt. Just take it back to the store and pick something else." DD said VS is not someplace I allow her to shop. Best friend rolled her eyes and said "There's nothing wrong with it. How old are you now?" I was fuming. Who the heck was she to tell my dd anything? We waited out the receipt and returned the clothes. SIL's nose has been out of joint ever since. Too bad. My kid, my rules.
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cycworker
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Post by cycworker on Jul 25, 2014 23:25:32 GMT
It depends on the style. Boxer briefs are sexy, so not ok, imo. Too much like lingerie. Boxers aren`t sexy, so no problem.
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cycworker
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Post by cycworker on Jul 25, 2014 23:47:28 GMT
You do realise that she'll go back and buy them and give them behind your back, right? Honestly, I'd really resent my parents interfering with the items I choose to give. I don't even remember my parents getting involved when it came to gifts. It's boxers not a thong. Or condoms. This. I don`t know how I feel about the Victoria`s Secret issue, as he wasn`t buying her anything inappropriate from there. Sue, while I get what you`re saying re: your kid, your rules, I`m not sure it was worth the damage it did to your relationship with your SIL. I mean, really, if what she bought wasn`t risque, it just happened to have a VS logo, I admit I don`t see the problem, esp as it was from a family member. It would have been easy enough to let DD keep the items and just limit where they are to be worn - i.e., if they were PJs, they aren`t to be PJs worn for PJ Day at school.
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Just T
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Post by Just T on Jul 26, 2014 0:10:33 GMT
Why does it matter if it is sexy or not? So if a 16 year old boy bought his girlfriend underwear with say stripes on them from JCP, not a thong, just normal underwear, would that be okay, because it's cute and not sexy?
I know I asked for opinions, and I'm not trying to be difficult, but I really do NOT get the double standard here. It's still underwear, whether it is sexy or not. Whether it is for a boy or a girl. It's still underwear. And I still do not think it is appropriate for 16 year olds to give each other underwear for gifts. Again, obviously, I am a prude.
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Post by JBeans on Jul 26, 2014 0:15:33 GMT
Meh, I wouldn't be ecstatic, but I wouldn't make a fuss. Pick your battles. To me, this isn't one of them.
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Just T
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Post by Just T on Jul 26, 2014 0:18:27 GMT
So, I ask this honestly...would you worry/wonder about what the boy's parents might think of your daughter when she gave him underwear as a gift?
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scrappammie
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Post by scrappammie on Jul 26, 2014 0:31:46 GMT
Heck, at our house Santa puts them in the Christmas stockings. The perv. It wouldn't bother me if either sex purchased underwear as a gift.
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Just T
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Post by Just T on Jul 26, 2014 0:36:18 GMT
Buying underwear for your own children is WAY different than 16 year old boyfriends/girlfriends buying them as gifts for each other.
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Post by anxiousmom on Jul 26, 2014 0:52:11 GMT
So, I ask this honestly...would you worry/wonder about what the boy's parents might think of your daughter when she gave him underwear as a gift? I know you didn't ask me, but may I answer? I wouldn't think of poorly of her at all. I don't see boxers as intimate apparel though. I wouldn't think that there was any kind of sexual connotation to boxers, but mostly because the name brand is important to the kids and boxers are an inexpensive way to provide those name brands.
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Post by JBeans on Jul 26, 2014 1:11:26 GMT
So, I ask this honestly...would you worry/wonder about what the boy's parents might think of your daughter when she gave him underwear as a gift? I'd cross that bridge if I came to it, but like I said, it is not a battle I would pick.
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Post by ingrid6 on Jul 26, 2014 1:22:05 GMT
Heck, at our house Santa puts them in the Christmas stockings. The perv. It wouldn't bother me if either sex purchased underwear as a gift. Yeah, I have no problem buying my son/daughter underwear - but they are my kids - not a 16 year old girl friend. Santa in our house isn't a perv ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/Q_m8lDOvc_3Le3r1GKdf.jpg)
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Post by Pahina722 on Jul 26, 2014 1:43:53 GMT
I don't see it as an issue. Just as I buy my son or DH novelty boxers for fun without having any sexual thoughts about it, I wouldn't have a problem with DS's girlfriend buying him some either.
I was slightly sleeved when my mother bought my DH boxers with "working stiff" embroidered down the fly. She thought it was hysterical; I just thought it was a weird gift from my prudish mother.
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tiffanytwisted
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Post by tiffanytwisted on Jul 26, 2014 2:17:28 GMT
Why does it matter if it is sexy or not? So if a 16 year old boy bought his girlfriend underwear with say stripes on them from JCP, not a thong, just normal underwear, would that be okay, because it's cute and not sexy?
I know I asked for opinions, and I'm not trying to be difficult, but I really do NOT get the double standard here. It's still underwear, whether it is sexy or not. Whether it is for a boy or a girl. It's still underwear. And I still do not think it is appropriate for 16 year olds to give each other underwear for gifts. Again, obviously, I am a prude.
I completely agree. The double standard boggles my mind.
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Post by maryland on Jul 26, 2014 2:31:02 GMT
I don't like double standards myself, so I would not want my 16 yr. old to give or receive it regardless of gender. I think if the child was 18, I wouldn't be so concerned, as I would feel he/she is an adult.
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Post by maryland on Jul 26, 2014 2:36:27 GMT
I would not appreciate a gift of boxers from a girl to my 16-year-old ds. It's unnecessarily personal at that age and as a mom of boys I get very tired of the double standards. I am a mom of girls and I can't stand double standards! There are so many double standards against boys and I teach my girls that boys are people too and deserve every bit of respect that girls deserve. We always say that our children would have the same rules regardless of gender.
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Post by Chips on Jul 26, 2014 2:37:51 GMT
What it boils down to is that
1) it's a gift that can be interpreted in various ways - at least one of them being questionable. 2) age of both the giver and receiver 3) more than one set of parents involved - even if one thinks it's fine, the other might not and could perceive your DD or their relationship differently 4) it, at the very least, involves having a double standard in order to be acceptable
All of those things make it completely unacceptable in my eyes. It never hurts to err on the safe side of caution and this one has red caution flags all over it. ^ This.
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Post by vronn on Jul 26, 2014 3:07:18 GMT
I would have no problem with it. Maybe because my 15yo dd and I both wear boxers as pj bottoms? Boxers to me are just short pj pants, preferably with fun patterns or sayings.
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Post by mightyme on Jul 26, 2014 3:11:49 GMT
I think it's okay. It doesn't seem inappropriate to me, though I admit that a boy buying underwear for his GF would cause me to feel differently. This is how i feel too!
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Post by mightyme on Jul 26, 2014 3:13:17 GMT
It's a complete double standard, but I agree, boxers are not "intimate" wear. I bought my boyfriend funny boxers when I was a teen and no one thought anything of it. But back in that day, girls were wearing boxers as shorts all the time. They weren't seen as just boys underwear. LOl yea you make me feel old. I agree! DD has some of mine that dont fit anymore ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/MNrJDkDuSwqIMVw33MdD.jpg)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 26, 2014 3:18:07 GMT
I don't think it's ok at that age going either way, so I'm with you, Mom.
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Post by AussieMeg on Jul 26, 2014 4:12:48 GMT
What she said!! ![:yeahthat:](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/yrGoHMAelQz8f2Qt0sjb.jpg)
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azredhead
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Post by azredhead on Jul 26, 2014 4:34:53 GMT
I think it would be an age issue and maturity thing depending on the kid. It is underwear for men some can be fun gifts like the cartoon,or Christmas ones etc.
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Post by J u l e e on Jul 26, 2014 5:11:36 GMT
I would not have a problem with it in either direction, but I'd have a conversation with her that included the other views being discussed here that she may never have considered in a million years, being 16 and all. That may go over better than straight up making her return them to buy something else. Especially if you've had lots of those kinds of respectful conversatons where you practice considering different views over the years.
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Post by luanne on Jul 26, 2014 9:11:35 GMT
I would be a bit uncomfortable with a 16 year old doing this. There are other things to buy.
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Post by Really Red on Jul 26, 2014 13:43:10 GMT
I think the reason behind it would be important. Flag boxers for the 4th of July wouldn't bother me as it's a fun type of gift. Buying your BF his daily underwear is more intimate and reeks of the fact that she knows what underwear he's wearing and doesn't like it. Since she just turned 16, that would bother me.
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