perumbula
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,439
Location: Idaho
Jun 26, 2014 18:51:17 GMT
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Post by perumbula on Jul 25, 2014 16:30:50 GMT
My mom and the two sisters who live nearby are all off on a shopping trip today. One of my sisters has expressed on Facebook how she is so excited about this trip and expecting a great time. Notice I'm at home. Not one of the three thought to invite me to go along. They always have some excuse as to why I can't be included. "It was a last minute thing." or "We thought you were busy." or "we didn't think you would want to go" even. It sucks and I am so tired of being left out. If I can't go, I'll politely decline, but I'd still be happy to be asked. I know I'm busy right now, but I can adjust my stuff around so I could have some time to get away. It would have been really nice to have a break from the wedding stuff to have a fun day with my mom and my sisters. They have done this enough that when they do include me I feel like they had to go out of their way and are making a special effort. Like I'm not really part of their group. It just makes me sad. Anyway, I had to get that out. What's bugging you today?
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quiltz
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,840
Location: CANADA
Jun 29, 2014 16:13:28 GMT
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Post by quiltz on Jul 25, 2014 16:32:29 GMT
( (( hugs ) ) )
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
Jun 25, 2014 20:06:48 GMT
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Post by freebird on Jul 25, 2014 16:34:16 GMT
I'm sorry. I understand how you feel.
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Post by workingclassdog on Jul 25, 2014 16:35:14 GMT
Awww that would suck if my mom/sister did that to me..
I already posted my vent today... so I am good.. lol.. office crap...
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 2:40:05 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 25, 2014 16:47:17 GMT
In-laws called on Monday to see if they could come visit this weekend. Sure, at least you gave us a few days' notice instead of a few hours. They have adopted two of their grandkids, so they'll have an 8yo and 10yo with them. Also bringing their 24yo daughter. We spend a few days cleaning up, making room, etc.
In-laws called yesterday to say they couldn't come. MIL had been in a fender bender the day before (no one was hurt) but she was shaken up and didn't want to make the drive (4 hours). It's okay, the house needed a good once over anyway. Sure, it would have been nice if they had called BEFORE I went grocery shopping and bought tons of extra food. We'll eat it eventually.
In-laws call today asking if they can still come. They'll be here after lunch.
In-laws call back, saying they're running late. It will be closer to supper.
At this rate, I'm not counting on them coming until they pull in the driveway!
ETA : This is the fourth or fifth time in-laws have planned to visit us in the past few years. Each time they've backed out for one reason or another. So when we told our kids yesterday that they weren't coming, both kids shrugged and said they expected it.
When we told them today they had changed their minds again, neither got too excited. Sad, isn't it?
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Post by scrapsuzy on Jul 25, 2014 16:59:46 GMT
Hugs to you, OP. I can imagine how hurtful that must be.
I feel like my vent is repetitive, but it is truly the most aggravating thing in my life right now. We closed on our old house yesterday, and DH is still in no hurry to look for another. Yesterday afternoon would've been a great time to do so, the best time of the next 2 weeks. But he made other plans. At this rate, I'll be surprised if we're in a new place by the holidays. And I still hate living in this apartment (rent-free, garage apartment on my inlaws property) for so many reasons. Financially, there is nothing holding us back from buying again. It's just simply a matter of going and looking and finding.
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AgnesDeux
Full Member
Posts: 217
Jul 7, 2014 0:50:46 GMT
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Post by AgnesDeux on Jul 25, 2014 17:03:37 GMT
My mom and the two sisters who live nearby are all off on a shopping trip today. One of my sisters has expressed on Facebook how she is so excited about this trip and expecting a great time. Notice I'm at home. Not one of the three thought to invite me to go along. They always have some excuse as to why I can't be included. "It was a last minute thing." or "We thought you were busy." or "we didn't think you would want to go" even. It sucks and I am so tired of being left out. If I can't go, I'll politely decline, but I'd still be happy to be asked. My DH's family does EXACTLY the same thing with him. I know it hurts.
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Post by sues on Jul 25, 2014 17:17:27 GMT
perumbula- that would upset me and hurt my feelings too. I'm sorry. My vent...DH and I are at odds over a major life decision involving work. It's a decision that would have me taking on a multi-faceted job I have no interest in. He would be away from home multiple times per week, with a lot of driving, responsibility, and stress. Everything we have would be put in jeopardy, if it didn't work out. We'd be in tremendous debt if it didn't work out. Plus- then we'd have no jobs or income coming in. The only positive, is that DH could quit a job he has come to hate. Actually- that's not true. I think he'd like the job again if his boss moved on. Which is not out of the realm of possibility. A week ago, this wasn't on our radar. It's nothing we ever discussed or wanted. But suddenly when the opportunity arose- DH was ready to jump in with both feet. I usually stay out of career decisions- but this involves me 50/50. Involves the whole family. Suddenly I'm hearing things like 'legacy' and 'something to leave the kids' and 'something to call my own'. I want to scream. I have been over and over my concerns- which are HUGE. I finally got blunt about my opposition. It's like he doesn't hear me. Like he can plan around me and pull me in when I 'see the light'. It's become a huge issue in a very short time. It puts me in a very bad position and I don't like it. I'm trying to think of it as a storm we have to weather. We've been married almost 27 years. We've weathered storms before. But this is a big one, and it's been awhile.
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valleyview
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,816
Jun 27, 2014 18:41:26 GMT
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Post by valleyview on Jul 25, 2014 17:21:07 GMT
Perumbula, I have about the same vent as yours, only it is my SILs who exclude me at every turn. One lives out of town and depends upon the other for food, drink, and transportation when she blows in for a visit. I do mind doing all of older SIL's bidding, but it might be nice to hear that she is in town. We cannot even get in touch with her because she does not have a cell phone. As an aside to an older thread, I always wanted a sister until I got stuck with these two.
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Post by sisterbdsq on Jul 25, 2014 17:27:49 GMT
Hugs to you, OP. I can imagine how hurtful that must be. I feel like my vent is repetitive, but it is truly the most aggravating thing in my life right now. We closed on our old house yesterday, and DH is still in no hurry to look for another. Yesterday afternoon would've been a great time to do so, the best time of the next 2 weeks. But he made other plans. At this rate, I'll be surprised if we're in a new place by the holidays. And I still hate living in this apartment (rent-free, garage apartment on my inlaws property) for so many reasons. Financially, there is nothing holding us back from buying again. It's just simply a matter of going and looking and finding. GO. Look and bring back flyers, listings, pictures on your phone. Show him you are motivated and he will get on board. I had to do something similar with SO. Now we're doing the house remodel I was waiting for.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Jul 25, 2014 17:30:05 GMT
(((hugs))) That sucks.
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Post by peasful1 on Jul 25, 2014 17:30:48 GMT
My mom and the two sisters who live nearby are all off on a shopping trip today. One of my sisters has expressed on Facebook how she is so excited about this trip and expecting a great time. Notice I'm at home. Not one of the three thought to invite me to go along. They always have some excuse as to why I can't be included. "It was a last minute thing." or "We thought you were busy." or "we didn't think you would want to go" even. It sucks and I am so tired of being left out. If I can't go, I'll politely decline, but I'd still be happy to be asked. I know I'm busy right now, but I can adjust my stuff around so I could have some time to get away. It would have been really nice to have a break from the wedding stuff to have a fun day with my mom and my sisters. They have done this enough that when they do include me I feel like they had to go out of their way and are making a special effort. Like I'm not really part of their group. It just makes me sad. Anyway, I had to get that out. What's bugging you today? Mean girls, much? That is just so incredibly rude. And then to not even have the decency to shut their trap about it. I find FB just highlights the juvenile behaviour that some grown adults engage in. It's like high school all over again with 40 somethings posting their exclusionary behaviour, rubbing it in people's faces and going on ad nauseum about their besties and bffs. I mean, is this really what being 40 is? Going somewhere and purposely leaving someone out and making sure they know it? At least have the decency to *try* and hide it from them. I'm so sorry. I don't doubt that this hurts you deeply. This recently happened to my son (only he doesn't know, I never told him.) Our "friends" told him to his face that a friend who moved away was coming to town and that they would invite him over because friend wants to see him. They could have easily said nothing, but no, they made a point of telling him exactly when the kid was coming into town and exactly when my kid should plan to go to their place. Not only did they never invite him that week, the adults posted photos of the kid they *did* invite *everywhere* in his place and "weeee what a great time!" I don't expect everyone to be included in everything, but don't tell my kid to his face when it's happening then leave him wondering why the invite never came. Needless to say, I've carved those MoFos out of my life. I know you can't do the same, it's family, but you can say, "WTF?" I know I did! I actually said more than WTF. Then I blocked their asses.
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Post by miominmio on Jul 25, 2014 17:35:06 GMT
Here is my vent about MY sister: My DS is 15, and only once has he been invited to sleep over at my sister's house. DD8 never! Sister has 3 kids, and they have stayed here more times than I can count. We have brought them along on vacations, I have looked after my niece's horse and pet bunny for months on end, and she can't be bothered to let my kids come over (which DD would love, DS couldn't care less anymore). The only relative she seems to care about, is our father (who is an absolute a*****e). If it wasn't for her kids, I would not keep in touch with her at all, she's a user, and I can't stand people like that.
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purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,790
Jun 27, 2014 20:37:34 GMT
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Post by purplebee on Jul 25, 2014 17:36:09 GMT
"I'm trying to think of it as a storm we have to weather.
We've been married almost 27 years. We've weathered storms before. But this is a big one, and it's been awhile."
Sues, sounds like a difficult decision you are facing. Would the gamble be worth it if it works out? Hope you can come to an agreement that will be the best for you and your family, whichever way it is resolved.
Op, sorry for your family's mistreatment, that would be hard.
Guess my vent is that I will be going back to work (school) next month, and I have one coworker who is a complete PITA, and who has the support of the boss. Boss knows she is a pain, but wants no drama/confrontation over anything b/c she has lots in her personal life. Sigh..... Will have to work hard to keep my head down and my mouth closed. But I sure don't want to.
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scrapngranny
Pearl Clutcher
Only slightly senile
Posts: 4,826
Jun 25, 2014 23:21:30 GMT
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Post by scrapngranny on Jul 25, 2014 17:51:58 GMT
I'm sorry. Being left out stinks!!
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River
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,575
Location: Alabama
Jun 26, 2014 15:26:04 GMT
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Post by River on Jul 25, 2014 17:56:41 GMT
I know that must hurt. ((((HUGS))))
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 2:40:05 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 25, 2014 18:00:33 GMT
My mom and the two sisters who live nearby are all off on a shopping trip today. One of my sisters has expressed on Facebook how she is so excited about this trip and expecting a great time. Notice I'm at home. Not one of the three thought to invite me to go along. They always have some excuse as to why I can't be included. "It was a last minute thing." or "We thought you were busy." or "we didn't think you would want to go" even. It sucks and I am so tired of being left out. If I can't go, I'll politely decline, but I'd still be happy to be asked. I know I'm busy right now, but I can adjust my stuff around so I could have some time to get away. It would have been really nice to have a break from the wedding stuff to have a fun day with my mom and my sisters. They have done this enough that when they do include me I feel like they had to go out of their way and are making a special effort. Like I'm not really part of their group. It just makes me sad. Anyway, I had to get that out. What's bugging you today? Mean girls, much? That is just so incredibly rude. And then to not even have the decency to shut their trap about it. I find FB just highlights the juvenile behaviour that some grown adults engage in. It's like high school all over again with 40 somethings posting their exclusionary behaviour, rubbing it in people's faces and going on ad nauseum about their besties and bffs. I mean, is this really what being 40 is? Going somewhere and purposely leaving someone out and making sure they know it? At least have the decency to *try* and hide it from them. I'm so sorry. I don't doubt that this hurts you deeply.
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Post by magentapea on Jul 25, 2014 18:03:00 GMT
((Hugs)) That stinks!
My vent for today is that DH's family is having a reunion next weekend. It's 5 hours away. We have been planning on attending, and the ILs know this. Last night, DH says, "I don't think there's room for us at the house." WTF? His sister's family of 6 uses 3 bedrooms, while my family of 4 is stuck in one. Plus, MIL is (most likely) giving our bedroom to the guest that they have staying there the entire week! DH says we should stay at my parents cottage (which is 1-1/2 hours away and currently has no water) or sleep in a tent (I have a bad back, and we won't fit 4 people and 2 dogs in a tent comfortably.) Neither option will work, so once again, I'm going to look like the bad guy for saying that we have to stay home.
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Post by christine58 on Jul 25, 2014 18:04:35 GMT
You need to say something to them...
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Cheesy
Full Member
Posts: 135
Location: The cornfields of Illinois
Jun 26, 2014 16:49:38 GMT
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Post by Cheesy on Jul 25, 2014 18:07:07 GMT
I want to scream. I have been over and over my concerns- which are HUGE. I finally got blunt about my opposition. It's like he doesn't hear me. Like he can plan around me and pull me in when I 'see the light'. It's become a huge issue in a very short time. It puts me in a very bad position and I don't like it. Sues--I so understand what you mean. My dh has done the same. A big decision (boat, vacation land) comes along, he starts asking me my opinion, I give valid reasons why not, he says "oh", and then he does it anyway. Both times involve him borrowing money from the family savings intending for him to pay it back with his "hobby" money and then it never happening. The boat works out ok as his fishing boat but not as a family fun boat as he told me. The land is just stupid; we haven't used it hardly at all. I admit I get jealous of couples that appear to be on the same page on things; I've heard that people actually have discussions together about the decisions!!
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Post by mikklynn on Jul 25, 2014 18:11:58 GMT
OP, except for the mother part, I am in the same boat. My 2 sisters live a few blocks from each other. They have completely closed me out. They drive up north to visit our parents and don't include me. Go to movies, etc and don't include me.
I pretty much look to a couple friends as the sisters of my heart.
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Post by alibama on Jul 25, 2014 18:26:09 GMT
I am sorry because mean people suck and that is just plain mean!
My vents are going to sound horrible but it is how I feel right now.
First off I am so disappointed that my mom and her SO (they have been together for 18 years) moved so far away. He is a loner and doesn't like people around I guess. He is a nice guy but I lost all those years I could have had with my mom. It makes me even sadder then I already was. [HASH]2 is my SIL and maybe this sounds petty but I am sorry. The entire week I spent at the hospital with my mom he made no contact nothing. When she passed away still nothing. I little text or something would have been nice. So I thought maybe he didn't want to say anything on the phone. We work together, I came into work yesterday and again not a word, just a question about work. The 100+ people that responded on facebook, most of them strangers but still nothing from him. That hurt.
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valleyview
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,816
Jun 27, 2014 18:41:26 GMT
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Post by valleyview on Jul 25, 2014 18:52:12 GMT
Alibama, you are safe venting here. That is the point of a vent. Dealing with the loss of a mother takes time. Mine died decades ago and I am still angry about the behavior of my previously mentioned SILs at that time. Don't think that you can rush through your feelings, because it does take time to both process and heal.
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ddly
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,019
Jul 10, 2014 19:36:28 GMT
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Post by ddly on Jul 25, 2014 19:51:42 GMT
This sucks! The same thing happens to me. I try not to let it bother me, but it does.
Sorry! Lisa D.
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Post by darkangel090260 on Jul 25, 2014 20:04:53 GMT
Neck, back and everything ells quite hurting, Just work with me for two week and we will get everything worked out when we get home.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jul 25, 2014 20:54:41 GMT
OP, that just sucks. I know because my mom and sister often do things together while I am at work. They both have a limited work schedule.
DH's exwife is the laziest person I know. She doesn't work so she allows his kids to stay up all night. We, on the other hand, have to work. But these kids come during the week and won't go to bed. It's driving me crazy.
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maurchclt
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,646
Jul 4, 2014 16:53:27 GMT
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Post by maurchclt on Jul 25, 2014 20:58:13 GMT
OP that's not right, vent away.
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Post by keknj on Jul 25, 2014 21:10:18 GMT
My mom and the two sisters who live nearby are all off on a shopping trip today. One of my sisters has expressed on Facebook how she is so excited about this trip and expecting a great time. Notice I'm at home. Not one of the three thought to invite me to go along. They always have some excuse as to why I can't be included. "It was a last minute thing." or "We thought you were busy." or "we didn't think you would want to go" even. It sucks and I am so tired of being left out. If I can't go, I'll politely decline, but I'd still be happy to be asked. I know I'm busy right now, but I can adjust my stuff around so I could have some time to get away. It would have been really nice to have a break from the wedding stuff to have a fun day with my mom and my sisters. They have done this enough that when they do include me I feel like they had to go out of their way and are making a special effort. Like I'm not really part of their group. It just makes me sad. Anyway, I had to get that out. What's bugging you today? Mean girls, much? That is just so incredibly rude. And then to not even have the decency to shut their trap about it. I find FB just highlights the juvenile behaviour that some grown adults engage in. It's like high school all over again with 40 somethings posting their exclusionary behaviour, rubbing it in people's faces and going on ad nauseum about their besties and bffs. I mean, is this really what being 40 is? Going somewhere and purposely leaving someone out and making sure they know it? At least have the decency to *try* and hide it from them. I'm so sorry. I don't doubt that this hurts you deeply.
She said it much better than I could.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 2:40:05 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 25, 2014 21:12:01 GMT
OP, my best friend and one of her sisters do that to their other sister. I see it all the time on FB and it makes me mad for their sister. I get that the left out sister works crazy hours and nearly twice as much as they do, but damn, how about you include your own sister in one of those lunches or dinners? Or quit gushing about your friend's baby and pay some attention to your nieces? They're pretty awesome girls from what I've seen. My vent for the day is that I hate how Minecraft have taken over my kids' brains! I swear, they probably won't remember a single thing when school starts back up. Minecraft dominate their thoughts, their day, their conversations. I try to follow it but just can't.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Jul 25, 2014 21:44:07 GMT
((Hugs)) That stinks! My vent for today is that DH's family is having a reunion next weekend. It's 5 hours away. We have been planning on attending, and the ILs know this. Last night, DH says, "I don't think there's room for us at the house." WTF? His sister's family of 6 uses 3 bedrooms, while my family of 4 is stuck in one. Plus, MIL is (most likely) giving our bedroom to the guest that they have staying there the entire week! DH says we should stay at my parents cottage (which is 1-1/2 hours away and currently has no water) or sleep in a tent (I have a bad back, and we won't fit 4 people and 2 dogs in a tent comfortably.) Neither option will work, so once again, I'm going to look like the bad guy for saying that we have to stay home. I send him and the kids and stay home have a nice weekend of RR! (Maybe that's why I'm divorced!
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