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Post by bigbundt on Feb 8, 2016 15:13:03 GMT
Don't be too hard on her. Her purchase is obviously not in line with your value system but is it really "wrong" or just different than how you would have spent the money? Speaking as someone whose mom constantly makes comments and puts down my lifestyle because it isn't how SHE would spend her money, it SUCKS. We can afford what we buy and still maintain savings and retirement and college for the kiddos but no, still get the comments. It gets tiresome to defend something that doesn't need defending.
We all place values on different things, doesn't make them wrong (unless it is at the expense of needed expenses, of course), just different priorities. I think it is ridiculous to spend $30+ on a mascara but I know people do it and don't fault them for it. Just don't put me down for using drugstore brands. I don't think it is wrong to talk about where that money is going and talk through if this was really a wise purchase but in the end if she is happy with it and can afford it, it is what it is.
And of course a job for teenagers is almost always a good thing so independent of her buying those cookies, still a good thing.
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Post by bigbundt on Feb 8, 2016 15:15:11 GMT
Keebler makes a line of cookies that taste very similar to Girl Scout cookies. Yep. I buy the grasshoppers when I want a Thin Mint fix and there are no cookies sales going on.
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raindancer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,095
Jun 26, 2014 20:10:29 GMT
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Post by raindancer on Feb 8, 2016 15:29:46 GMT
I really don't understand parents getting all bent out of shape when their kids spend THEIR money the way THEY want to. It's their money, who cares if it's blown on cookies or candy or video games or whatever. Kids have a lifetime of being adults and slaving for a dollar and having to be "responsible" most of the time. Let kids have a time where they can do whatever the hell they want. So she bought cookies. Big freakin' deal. And she might eat cookies for breakfast. Big whoop. Instead of raining on her parade and telling her that she has to get a job because she was so stupid for buying cookies with her money, let her be. There are bigger issues to deal with than a kid spending their money on what they want. I agree wholeheartedly. I am a stickler for making my kids use their money for their wants, but as the parent I'm here to provide for their needs. I teach them to budget using their wants, because ultimately their wants are going to be a lot harder to come by later in life. It sucks to be a grown up sometimes. I also think if it was gift money it should be used to splurge. Now I spent plenty of gifted money over the years on bills. Our first few years of marriage consisted of "Oh thank god it is my birthday/Christmas we can finally buy a vacuum/pay that bill off/fix the washing machine" as a result of the generosity of my dh's grandmother. But it's so much nicer to be able to splurge on a want now that we are financially stable. If my want happened to be 2 cases of girl scout cookies, then so be it. It's a gift. It's meant to enjoy. And if it helps someone else along the way, then I think that's even more worthy of our support as parents.
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basketdiva
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,619
Jun 26, 2014 11:45:09 GMT
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Post by basketdiva on Feb 8, 2016 15:38:50 GMT
My DH buys around 30 boxes of Thin Mints every year from someone at his work. He puts them in the freezer, and then he eats Thin Mints all year long. He kind of rations the boxes. I think he is insane, but he has done this for years, so I'm used to it at this point. We used to buy 2 cases and do this also. Now we buy one case for the freezer. We still have a few boxes left from last year but they may be gone by late when cookie sales are in our area.
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Post by Dori~Mama~Bear on Feb 8, 2016 16:31:23 GMT
My daughter has done the same thing before. and it wasn't to eat the cookies. she took the cookies to the retirement center my mom had retired from. My daughter was in the 7 grade. She loved going there and spending time with the residents when she was growing up. We were in town and happened to go to a store there were girls selling cookies Daughter decided to buy a bunch of them she had $60 on her. She spent it all on a variety of boxes. we took it to the retirement center. Some of the residence were still there and remembered her and she remembered them. So she did 2 things she helped a charity and she put smiles on old peoples faces. and she got to enjoy some of the cookies. she does know the value of money. She didn't for a long time but we started teaching her at 3 what money was and the value of it when she had play money and was trying to learn what each one was and kept asking us. we got the real money out and showed her what the real stuff looked like and that did it she didn't want the play money she wanted the real money. he told her she had to earn it and she then wanted to know what she had to do to earn it. so we gave her chore. brushing her teeth was a nickel. making her bed was a quarter (She had a big bed) and so on. but by the time she was 5 she knew what a dollar could buy at the store. and she new how many nickels made a dollar and dimes in a dollar and quarters. once she started she never stopped. she has always been pretty good with earning and saving her money. and she is a good shopper. If she wants something she will research it and price shop it until she finds the best place to buy the best product.
So your daughter wanted some cookies. she did help a good cause. She doesn't have to freeze the cookies they are good for a year in the cabinet.
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Post by gmcwife1 on Feb 8, 2016 17:12:28 GMT
My sons, on the other hand, are so cheap they squeak. While it is a lot of money to spend on cookies, she is helping a good charity. Let her own this one and when she asks for something soon, tell her to spend her own money. My 16 yr old is like this. She can hold money forever and has no problem saving, but then she will spend it on something I don't think is valuable. I never say anything to her since I know she is a saver
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,123
Jul 1, 2014 20:20:18 GMT
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Post by rickmer on Feb 8, 2016 23:28:23 GMT
i am planning an order of disney "character" cookies from a website with staff that go into disney parks, buys the cookies fresh and ships them to you - for WAY MORE than sticker price (plus international shipping and my $ worth significantly less).... unfortunately it's the only place i can figure out where to buy them from. if she loves those cookies, it seems like a *good* idea to me. my mom certainly makes me aware when i spend $ on things she doesn't consider "priority". and i am 44.... so i think sometimes as parents it is a natural reaction.
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Post by miss_lizzie on Feb 8, 2016 23:40:37 GMT
I'd put them in the freezer for a couple of months and then sell them to women who were jonesing for a fix. Which ones did she buy? I'd pay $10 a box for samoas and thin mints in July... We buy Thin Mints and put them in the freezer. It's tough not to eat them right away, but they taste so good on a hot day!
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Post by meridon on Feb 9, 2016 0:20:38 GMT
I buy a case of Thin Mints every year and freeze them. Like a PP said, there's nothing like a Thin Mint in July!
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TankTop
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1,871
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Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
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Post by TankTop on Feb 9, 2016 1:02:16 GMT
Although I do not agree with her on her purchase, it is her money. Nothing was said to her about it other than how to freeze them.
The money was hers. It was gift money. She has $20.00 left.
The job is not a punishment for this incident. It is a result of her wanting a car and needing to contribute to part of those costs. The comment I made was in reference to her need to learn about the value of a dollar and what portion is needed to be saved to use for needs.
***We did talk to her about percentage of return in relation to a medical donation we made for a friends preemie this weekend. We explained why we did not use Go Fund Me for our donation.
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Post by cyndijane on Feb 9, 2016 3:47:44 GMT
I would chalk it up as a lesson learned, and hopefully she will budget better in the future.. Trust me she'll spend more of HER money on other things you don't approve of in the future..says the mom of a 21yr old with 2 car payments.. yes 2!!!... he's in the navy so at least his income is reliable,but he does not need 2 cars and especially does not need 2 car payments.. actually he's currently deployed and not driving either of them--I am using one as a daily driver though which works out for me,but I have guilt over it because I cant afford to take the payment off of him.but he's insistent that I drive it,since my car tore up. and before anyone asks, if I were not driving his car I would have bought myself something used by now,but he insists that I drive it Actually, it's probably better that someone is driving the car, rather than it sit the whole time he's gone.
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