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Post by compwalla on Feb 15, 2016 18:19:34 GMT
I totally get the extended FMLA. We have a co-worker here that has it. I know it resets after a yr. BUT if it had been going on, for say like 2-3 yrs, I would think we all would be wondering how much longer? Esp if she has to be replaced when she is off. Maybe if they had a set date? like every thur-fri of the 3rd wk of the mo, she is off. Maybe there is a problem with hiring someone else so casually to replace here? IDK. I'm just throwing things out there. I'm so relieved there are things out there to protect us against getting fired during an extended illness. I can't imagine. How much longer? Yes, I wonder that all the time. I have no way of knowing. If I'm lucky, it will stretch out another two or three years. One can hope. |
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Post by cindyupnorth on Feb 15, 2016 18:33:19 GMT
Yes, Comp! I hope you have many many years!!
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Post by Really Red on Feb 15, 2016 18:42:52 GMT
While I understand your frustration Lynn, as an employer I see it from the other side. You are out of the office a good deal of time. The FMLA allows you that time without having to worry about the loss of your job but nonetheless, your employer must fill the gap left by your absence (whatever the reason). If you have used up 30 days and then additional days for your husband's care, can understand the employer saying no to additional time off whether it's paid or unpaid for a vacation. I'm sorry, too, but I agree with Lauren. We have several employees in my largish company who are like you. They are good employees, but they are gone (it seems to all of us) so often! The slack has to be taken up by someone so we are always doing their work. It's not to say we don't understand and it's not to say we aren't sympathetic, but it sucks to be us, too, always taking on someone else's job. It's a terrible, awful situation you're in. Luckily there is FMLA or you wouldn't even have a job, right? Honestly, think of what you would have done before FMLA and ask people for help so that you can get some of your vacation time together and use it for a real vacation. I am sure you need one  I'd like to add if your absence affects no one, then I'd be more inclined to see your side. |
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seaexplore
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Post by seaexplore on Feb 15, 2016 18:55:53 GMT
I'm getting ready to go out on FMLA in California for maternity leave. California also has a thing called CFRA that gives me 26 weeks out. FMLA protects my position and my benefits for 12 weeks, unpaid. If I choose to take the full 26 weeks, 12 fall under FMLA, the remaining 14 under CFRA. Now, since I'm a teacher, I don't pay into state disability so I can't collect it. I am required to use my sick leave during FMLA. If I run out of sick leave, the remainder of the time is unpaid or I can return to the classroom. My due date is March 8. I must teach until March 4 AND get my doctor to write me out for the full 12 weeks in order to be able to use my sick leave (I have more than enough since I don't take vacations during the school year and I get 10 days a year- yes, that is ALL we get) and not return until school starts again in August. If I don't make it to March 4, I will have to return after 12 weeks and finish out the year- be it a week or a day. LAME IMO! I am the sole income so I have to work. We are fortunate that DH can be a SAHD and work on his construction stuff while I'm home on weekends, breaks, and whatever random days I have off.
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Post by mikklynn on Feb 15, 2016 19:07:11 GMT
I get 30 days, which is very generous. But, we made 15 trips last year for his treatment, so there goes 30 days. Believe me, we are scheduling it so I miss the least work possible. Do you get the full amount allocated at the start of the year, or accrue it over the year? If it's the former (and you're on a calendar year basis) that presumably means you haven't used it yet, so just schedule the vacation from PTO. Then you will run out of PTO before the end of the year, and the FMLA will legitimately kick in for your DH's treatment trips. Or am I missing something? I earn it weekly, so I am using it faster than I accrue it. I tried booking PTO for vacation, then requesting unpaid for the FMLA, but they were on to that and made me use the available PTO. |
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Deleted
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May 4, 2024 20:38:16 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 15, 2016 19:07:41 GMT
I am confused. If you're putting in for unpaid leave and you're not filing for FMLA then why would they care? That seems really unreasonable. I would ask to have a meeting with HR to explain that you've used up all of your PTO to see to your husband's needs and now you really need some time off. Hopefully you can escalate it and they will allow you to take it. It would be really shitty if they didn't. The way it was explained to me once, is that taking "unpaid" leave isn't that simple. Benefits and other things still need to be paid. Still sucks to be in the position though. |
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Post by mikklynn on Feb 15, 2016 19:08:39 GMT
While I understand your frustration Lynn, as an employer I see it from the other side. You are out of the office a good deal of time. The FMLA allows you that time without having to worry about the loss of your job but nonetheless, your employer must fill the gap left by your absence (whatever the reason). If you have used up 30 days and then additional days for your husband's care, can understand the employer saying no to additional time off whether it's paid or unpaid for a vacation. Yes, you are right, of course. It just sucks that I apparently can't take any vacation. My life is hard enough as it is. |
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~Lauren~
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Post by ~Lauren~ on Feb 15, 2016 19:40:12 GMT
I do understand and I'm sorry you're going through this.
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pridemom
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FMLA vent
Feb 15, 2016 19:44:08 GMT
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Post by pridemom on Feb 15, 2016 19:44:08 GMT
I am sorry you are going through this. How awful with everything you both have gone through. Is your husband considered disabled? You may have some job protection under ADA if you are discriminated against because of your association with a person who has a disability. Her husband has protection under ADA, she does not. |
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FMLA vent
Feb 15, 2016 19:46:23 GMT
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Post by moveablefeast on Feb 15, 2016 19:46:23 GMT
While I understand your frustration Lynn, as an employer I see it from the other side. You are out of the office a good deal of time. The FMLA allows you that time without having to worry about the loss of your job but nonetheless, your employer must fill the gap left by your absence (whatever the reason). If you have used up 30 days and then additional days for your husband's care, can understand the employer saying no to additional time off whether it's paid or unpaid for a vacation. Yes, you are right, of course. It just sucks that I apparently can't take any vacation. My life is hard enough as it is. Would your FMLA leave accommodate a couple of extra days - around a long weekend maybe - for some R&R? I have a friend using FMLA as a caregiver and her employer has allowed that. She took a Wednesday for her husband's treatment, then a Th/Fri for R&R, and Monday was a holiday making for several good days of time "off". It just comes out of her leave like any other. |
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pridemom
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Post by pridemom on Feb 15, 2016 19:51:24 GMT
As for the question of how long, when someone has a chronic health condition, there is no time limit. My condition is lifelong. I will always need doctor visits, hospitalizations, and the like. As will my daughter. There's no cure. Fortunately, dh and I have generous sick leave.
OP, I am sorry that you have to use all of your leave for your DH's medical treatment. I fully understand. But it's the normal way FMLA leave works. We are able to schedule a lot of medical on work holidays (right now I am with DD getting tests at the hospital on my day off work).
Can you recruit a good friend to go with DH? We did that when I was running out of leave and we couldn't handle unpaid leave in the budget.
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Post by christine58 on Feb 15, 2016 19:56:39 GMT
That is basically how it is at where I work. We are ONLY allowed so many hours. What exactly do you do? is this something where they have to replace you every time you are off? And its been going on for years? I have never heard of FMLA going for yrs? Mainly it's for an illness that is eventually over. Are they not seeing and end to this? maybe if you provided them with a time line? like in 6 mo's we will be done with this. KWIM? Intermittent FMLA is a real thing and can indeed go for years. Chronic medical conditions don't always get cured in a tidy timeframe. We have a teacher on intermittent FMLA due to her lupus. Her doctor has her only working 3 days a week usually. If she runs out of sick days, we have a sick bank that will make sure she gets paid. |
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Feb 15, 2016 20:20:22 GMT
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Post by Scrapbrat on Feb 15, 2016 20:20:22 GMT
I think this is one of the issues with having "paid time" that is used for either sick time or vacation. We have separate time accumulations for sick leave and annual leave. We have the same policy with respect to unpaid medical leave, but you only have to use your sick time. Your annual leave is protected unless you want to use it. This seems totally unfair for you, and I'm sure this wasn't the intent behind the policy. I would try to talk to someone in HR, or maybe your boss.
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Post by mikklynn on Feb 15, 2016 20:58:32 GMT
I think this is one of the issues with having "paid time" that is used for either sick time or vacation. We have separate time accumulations for sick leave and annual leave. We have the same policy with respect to unpaid medical leave, but you only have to use your sick time. Your annual leave is protected unless you want to use it. This seems totally unfair for you, and I'm sure this wasn't the intent behind the policy. I would try to talk to someone in HR, or maybe your boss. It is HR that came to me. Our local district was fine with what I have been doing. It is corporate that says no more unpaid leave unless it is for FMLA. |
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gsquaredmom
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Feb 15, 2016 21:30:36 GMT
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Post by gsquaredmom on Feb 15, 2016 21:30:36 GMT
I am sorry you are going through this. How awful with everything you both have gone through. Is your husband considered disabled? You may have some job protection under ADA if you are discriminated against because of your association with a person who has a disability. Her husband has protection under ADA, she does not. She does if she is discriminated against because of her association with a disabled person. Little known provision but I know someone who sued their employer because she had to take one of her own sick days every four months or so to take her disabled father to appointments. It showed up in her reviews. The last straw was when she was told that if she took a sick day off for her father's funeral, that she would be terminated. She took the day, and returned to a 6 month notice. She had plenty of sick days. The EEOC called it "egregious" and not only okayed but encouraged her to sue. She started looking for a new job and got a great one. She pursued the lawsuit for awhile, but she was so happy to be in a better job, she dropped it to put it behind her. The bosses that did this to her are now being investigated for malfeasance and embezzlement. |
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~Lauren~
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Post by ~Lauren~ on Feb 15, 2016 22:00:29 GMT
That sounds like a very different situation than here. She's looking for vacation time. Also, I'm sorry but I have a real problem with a person using their own sick time for things other than being "sick". It's not meant to be additional time off just because. And why was she using sick time to go to a funeral? That should be covered by either vacation or personal time, not sick time.
Although actually, some employers are doing away with the designation of leave time as "sick" "vacation" or "personal" and are just giving a lump sum of days off called "Paid time off". to be used however the employee chooses. Frankly, however, from what I've seen, this change has resulted in less total days off because of the abuse of sick time.
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FMLA vent
Feb 15, 2016 22:33:42 GMT
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Post by jenjie on Feb 15, 2016 22:33:42 GMT
mikklynn have they been able to see yet how dh is responding to this course of treatment?
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gsquaredmom
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Feb 16, 2016 2:19:26 GMT
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Post by gsquaredmom on Feb 16, 2016 2:19:26 GMT
That sounds like a very different situation than here. She's looking for vacation time. Also, I'm sorry but I have a real problem with a person using their own sick time for things other than being "sick". It's not meant to be additional time off just because. And why was she using sick time to go to a funeral? That should be covered by either vacation or personal time, not sick time. Although actually, some employers are doing away with the designation of leave time as "sick" "vacation" or "personal" and are just giving a lump sum of days off called "Paid time off". to be used however the employee chooses. Frankly, however, from what I've seen, this change has resulted in less total days off because of the abuse of sick time. Because that's how her employer designated close family member funerals. Aunts, cousins, etc would be personal time, which she had plenty of, as well. My own employer does it the same way: spouse, parent, child, brother, sister is sick time. All other relatives, friends, etc are personal days. She reported it as her employer required. She also reported her fathers doc appts as they required. My employer works the same way. Doc appt of close family member is sick time. |
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MerryMom
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Post by MerryMom on Feb 16, 2016 2:28:38 GMT
While I am sympathetic to your situation, as someone who is covering someone else's job while they are on intermittent FMLA for two years, I have a limit to how much work I can cover in addition to my own full time workload. I must say I would feel a tad bit resentful if I had to again cover that person's job so that person could go on unpaid leave to go on vacation.
I am sorry for your husbands situation, but I don't feel your employer is being unreasonable. They have a business to run.
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Post by mikklynn on Feb 16, 2016 14:02:47 GMT
mikklynn have they been able to see yet how dh is responding to this course of treatment? He has shown improvement - a 25% reduction in the size of the tumors on his remaining kidney. Everything else - bones, pancreas, liver, and lungs have been stable since he began the trial in May. We'll take that!
He is just recovering from a cellulitis infection in his foot. Before that, he had pneumonia. It's been a very up and down winter!
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SweetieBsMom
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Post by SweetieBsMom on Feb 16, 2016 14:33:19 GMT
Although actually, some employers are doing away with the designation of leave time as "sick" "vacation" or "personal" and are just giving a lump sum of days off called "Paid time off". to be used however the employee chooses. Frankly, however, from what I've seen, this change has resulted in less total days off because of the abuse of sick time. Our company just made this change this year. We moved from designated sick time and vacation time to PTO. Which is great for me because I never EVER took my 6 "sick days" so it's like I'm getting another week vacation. That being said, I can't take the 4 weeks vacation I was getting before because of work demands so I'm not going to be taking an extra one because it's available. On the flip side, people come in to work sick as dogs because they don't want to "waste" a day off being sick. Ugh. OP. I sympathize with your position. We are currently looking in to clinical trials for DH as his treatment has stopped working. The way my company works, I'd have to exhaust PTO before utilizing FMLA. I know for a fact, my company would never approve unpaid leave if it wasn't FMLA related. From their perspective, they're owe me PTO and legally have to give me FMLA. If I need to use my PTO for things other than vacation time, then too bad so sad, I don't get a vacation. My company doesn't owe me a vacation. I'm going to be in the same position, so I get it. I've made my peace that I won't be taking vacation for quite some time. I wish you and your DH much success and send hugs. |
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Post by mikklynn on Feb 16, 2016 15:12:11 GMT
SweetieBsMom thank you for your kind words. I hope your DH finds a clinical trial, too.
ETA - Did you ever get his disability? DH is applying for SS disability. Fortunately, my BIL works for a company that expedites these things and they are handling it for us. |
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SweetieBsMom
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Post by SweetieBsMom on Feb 16, 2016 16:05:04 GMT
SweetieBsMom thank you for your kind words. I hope your DH finds a clinical trial, too.
ETA - Did you ever get his disability? DH is applying for SS disability. Fortunately, my BIL works for a company that expedites these things and they are handling it for us. He got his SS disability within weeks of applying. We had heard horror stories but I guess when your doctor calls you terminal they speed it right along. Hopefully, yours will happen just as fast. |
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MerryMom
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Post by MerryMom on Feb 16, 2016 17:29:57 GMT
Her husband has protection under ADA, she does not. She does if she is discriminated against because of her association with a disabled person. Little known provision but I know someone who sued their employer because she had to take one of her own sick days every four months or so to take her disabled father to appointments. It showed up in her reviews. The last straw was when she was told that if she took a sick day off for her father's funeral, that she would be terminated. She took the day, and returned to a 6 month notice. She had plenty of sick days. The EEOC called it "egregious" and not only okayed but encouraged her to sue. She started looking for a new job and got a great one. She pursued the lawsuit for awhile, but she was so happy to be in a better job, she dropped it to put it behind her. The bosses that did this to her are now being investigated for malfeasance and embezzlement. The OP's peeve is that her employer is not accommodating her request for unpaid vacation time. If the employer has to pay someone to cover the OP's unpaid vacation request, that is an additional expense in addition to paying someone to cover the OP's FMLA time. If the employer is having coworker's cover the OP's FMLA time, that may not be additional expense, but as a colleague covering for a co-worker's FMLA for two years, my time is also as valuable as the FMLA's person time. While I am sympathetic, I would not personally push for my employer/co-workers to accommodate my "wish" to take vacation time (even if unpaid) while they are accommodating the OP's right for FMLA. I would not do that to my co-workers when they have been covering my work in addition to their own OR for my employer to incur an additional expense of paying someone to do the OP's job in her absence (whether unpaid leave or not). The OP cannot have it both ways and I don't think the employer is being difficult. |
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Post by mikklynn on Feb 16, 2016 17:46:55 GMT
She does if she is discriminated against because of her association with a disabled person. Little known provision but I know someone who sued their employer because she had to take one of her own sick days every four months or so to take her disabled father to appointments. It showed up in her reviews. The last straw was when she was told that if she took a sick day off for her father's funeral, that she would be terminated. She took the day, and returned to a 6 month notice. She had plenty of sick days. The EEOC called it "egregious" and not only okayed but encouraged her to sue. She started looking for a new job and got a great one. She pursued the lawsuit for awhile, but she was so happy to be in a better job, she dropped it to put it behind her. The bosses that did this to her are now being investigated for malfeasance and embezzlement. The OP's peeve is that her employer is not accommodating her request for unpaid vacation time. If the employer has to pay someone to cover the OP's unpaid vacation request, that is an additional expense in addition to paying someone to cover the OP's FMLA time. If the employer is having coworker's cover the OP's FMLA time, that may not be additional expense, but as a colleague covering for a co-worker's FMLA for two years, my time is also as valuable as the FMLA's person time. While I am sympathetic, I would not personally push for my employer/co-workers to accommodate my "wish" to take vacation time (even if unpaid) while they are accommodating the OP's right for FMLA. I would not do that to my co-workers when they have been covering my work in addition to their own OR for my employer to incur an additional expense of paying someone to do the OP's job in her absence (whether unpaid leave or not). The OP cannot have it both ways and I don't think the employer is being difficult. I understand and respect your opinion. I have always made sure my work was covered. No one had to be hired. My coworkers know they can call my cell anytime. I have even worked from DH's hospital room.
My annoyance, I guess, is that the policy is coming from hundreds of miles away. My own location has no problem with how things have been handled over the last two years.
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Post by 950nancy on Feb 16, 2016 17:52:18 GMT
That sounds like a very different situation than here. She's looking for vacation time. Also, I'm sorry but I have a real problem with a person using their own sick time for things other than being "sick". It's not meant to be additional time off just because. And why was she using sick time to go to a funeral? That should be covered by either vacation or personal time, not sick time. Although actually, some employers are doing away with the designation of leave time as "sick" "vacation" or "personal" and are just giving a lump sum of days off called "Paid time off". to be used however the employee chooses. Frankly, however, from what I've seen, this change has resulted in less total days off because of the abuse of sick time. Our sick time was for funerals. It was actually for many things that were not related to vacation time. I think it is always interesting to see the difference in people's experiences. Fifty different states do have different rules for many things. |
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Post by jenjie on Feb 16, 2016 18:01:59 GMT
mikklynn have they been able to see yet how dh is responding to this course of treatment? He has shown improvement - a 25% reduction in the size of the tumors on his remaining kidney. Everything else - bones, pancreas, liver, and lungs have been stable since he began the trial in May. We'll take that!
He is just recovering from a cellulitis infection in his foot. Before that, he had pneumonia. It's been a very up and down winter!
I understand the ups and downs but praise God for holding steady and REDUCTION! That's wonderful. |
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Post by compwalla on Feb 16, 2016 19:18:35 GMT
We have separate leave for everything. Sick leave is for you and your immediate family's sickness. Vacation and our floating holidays are for vacation. We also have separate bereavement leave and jury duty leave. Sick leave rolls over from year to year but vacation doesn't. Thankfully they don't require us to use vacation time to cover FMLA but we are allowed if we want to. I've been working from home for nine years so I have accumulated a metric fuck ton of sick days and so far have not had to take any FMLA time unpaid. And since I've been with the company for 10 years, I get four weeks of vacation each year plus my four floating holidays (so almost five work weeks) plus I have short and long term disability so it's unlikely I'll have to take any completely unpaid time.
It seems really unfair that the way it works isn't consistent but that's how it works here in the US. I wonder how it works in other countries with a more comprehensive safety net than we have.
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My original pea date was November 1999 and my number was 1803
