johnnysmom
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Post by johnnysmom on Apr 6, 2016 17:56:22 GMT
In doing some research on my 5yo's picky eating it sounds more like he is a what they call a 'problem feeder'. He's down to only a few things he will eat and most of those have conditions (apples and pears can't have any brown spots on them, only red apples and green pears, peanuts and cashews can't have any brown on them, etc). He excludes entire food groups (no veggies unless you count corn and no meats). He's getting to the point where the smell of our foods gross him out. I've tried the whole "kids won't starve themselves" thing and truly I think he would. I've talked to his dr about it at his last 2 well visits. His next will be in August (when he's 6). I figure that gives us a few months to try hardcore to progress but if nothing changes I'm going to ask for a referral to a food therapist. Any tips of what to do for kids well beyond "picky eater". Truthfully I wouldn't care if he became the kid that only eats fries and nuggets (neither of which he'll touch now). Eta: often problem feeders have other issues like sensory disorders or autism or speech delays. He had significant speech delays (couldn't speak more than 1 syllable at a time until he was 3.5 and was in a special Ed preschool with speech therapy). They never figured out why he couldn't talk but eventually a switch flipped and now he won't shut up  |
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Post by rst on Apr 6, 2016 18:55:35 GMT
I had one son who had a very limited diet until he was about 10, when the switch flipped and he was willing and able to try anything. Up until then, if we tried to force or coerce him, he'd try to cooperate, but he'd gag and throw up, so we made sure he had a good multi-vitamin and let him eat what he could. Removing the stress of the conflict over eating helped us all and when he was able to, he outgrew that "thing".
You mention that smells are becoming an issue. Is it just food related semll or is he super sensitive to all sources of smell? If the former, it sounds like food has become a battle ground for him, and even the hint of a battle (food smells) gets him going. So one strategy would be to refuse to let it be a battle. He can eat what he wants, with no comments or nagging, so long as he gets a balanced vitamin and a protein shake, for example. IF the latter, all smells set him off, then it sounds more like he's got sensory aversions that are widespread. I'm not expert on sensory avoiders, but there are strategies to help overcome the aversions, and finding a good OT might help.
If it's not a sensory thing, then it could be more obsessive/compulsive, or anxiety driven, and I can't give any sage experience on that arena. It can't hurt to just collect observations -- is it worse in certain settings? Does he eat more readily for some people than others? Does he have times of day when or other factors that seem to form a pattern?
And because kids are complicated, it could be none of the above or a combo-plate of all of the above. I do know from experience how frustrating and defeating it can feel for you as the mom. I found it helped so much to step out of the daily conflicts and worries for a set time period, say 2 weeks, and let him eat only preferred foods, without even the offer of anything else, during that time. If it's a breakfast of artisian fruit slices and 2 meals of carnation instant breakfast, so be it. No unhealthy food snacks allowed, but nothing new or different pushed. Then re-evaluate after your 2 weeks, with help from your doctor (surely you can see him/her before a well-child check).
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Post by annaintx on Apr 6, 2016 19:04:11 GMT
You have described many qualities of my 6 year old. She'll be 7 this summer. We did a year of OT with feeding therapy which helped some, but she's not progressed any to trying new foods. She has anxiety around new foods, too. I feel your pain and unfortunately have nothing helpful to add. I will say that rst's reply above gives me great hope.
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Post by alissa103 on Apr 6, 2016 19:06:59 GMT
I'd have him evaluated by an Occupational Therapist. Sounds like classic sensory processing disorder to me. He needs to work with therapist who specializes in food therapy. Also, there are some pediatricians, especially old school ones, who think it's phooey and will brush you off, tell you to wait it out. NO!!! Find another Dr. until you get someone who will help and refer you to a good OT.
My son has sensory issues,but his are not related to food. One of his buddies has food sensory issues big time though, very much like what you're describing. For a long time he would only drink milk, pediasure and apple juice and eat crackers or chips. That was it. Food therapy has been helping a ton.
DO NOT STARVE HIM OUT until you know what you're dealing with. Please. This is not helpful at all and can make issues worse. Don't make it a battle! He needs help, not punishment via hunger/starvation.
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Post by Patter on Apr 6, 2016 19:08:58 GMT
Yes, I do. It started at birth and has continued for 21 years thus far. I just try to make sure she gets her protein because she needs it for healing from all of her surgeries. She also had sensory and auditory processing issues when younger. She says now that she just doesn't like to eat. Oh my word, I wish I had that problem.  Anyway, her cousin also has terrible feeding issues. He is 10 now, and I know at one point he only had two things he would eat. Not sure how many things he will eat now. |
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Post by beachbum on Apr 6, 2016 19:14:10 GMT
My son was a very picky eater when he was young (he's 31 now) - no foods could touch (I bought divided plates for him, that solved that problem), corn and 1 kind of canned peas were the only vegetables he would eat - his order at the Chinese restaurant we went to was "noodles with no green stuff". Bananas, pepperoni pizza, chicken nuggets, baked potatoes, Cinnamon Toast Crunch.... that was about it. We went to visit him halfway through his 2nd semester of college and went out for lunch. He ordered a tofu veggie wrap - WHAT??? Who is this kid and what have you done with my son??? Now he eats almost everything, mostly organic and heavy on the vegetables. I'm not sure what happened, but I like it. They say taste buds change, so there's hope.
His younger sister was the total opposite - how many 5 year olds would you have this conversation with at a sushi buffet:
5 y/o - Does that say eel?
Me - Yes
5 y/o - Can you give me 2 please?
Seriously - that child ate everything!
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perumbula
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Post by perumbula on Apr 6, 2016 19:37:16 GMT
My 14 year old is a problem eater. I think his is related to his anxiety and not a sensory processing issue. He's actually afraid of trying something new. It's very hard to deal with for all of us involved. He's been to a counselor, but they didn't specialize in food issues so it didn't help with that.
I hope you can find a good food therapist soon.
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luvnlifelady
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Post by luvnlifelady on Apr 6, 2016 19:56:53 GMT
I didn't know there were such things as food therapists. I could probably use one even though I'm 50. I am probably the world's pickiest eater. I've tried not to be but even the smell of many things makes me sick. It's awful when trying to socialize. Who in their right mind won't eat pizza? Yah, that's me.
I hope you can get help for your son. I imagine meal times are not fun for anyone in your house.
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johnnysmom
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Post by johnnysmom on Apr 6, 2016 20:10:05 GMT
I'd have him evaluated by an Occupational Therapist. Sounds like classic sensory processing disorder to me. He needs to work with therapist who specializes in food therapy. Also, there are some pediatricians, especially old school ones, who think it's phooey and will brush you off, tell you to wait it out. NO!!! Find another Dr. until you get someone who will help and refer you to a good OT. My son has sensory issues,but his are not related to food. One of his buddies has food sensory issues big time though, very much like what you're describing. For a long time he would only drink milk, pediasure and apple juice and eat crackers or chips. That was it. Food therapy has been helping a ton. DO NOT STARVE HIM OUT until you know what you're dealing with. Please. This is not helpful at all and can make issues worse. Don't make it a battle! He needs help, not punishment via hunger/starvation. I'm prepared to go to battle with the dr (and switch if need be) but she's pretty good and I don't think getting a referral (or at least a name) will be an issue. As as far as starving him out, we don't. Last year he was in a preschool that included breakfast, lunch and snack as part of the program, it was served family style. My hope was that with no other choices available he'd at least try one or two new things. Nope. He would usually eat breakfast (cereal, pancakes, the fruit as long as it was fresh [wont eat canned fruit], milk) and snack (juice and crackers or something), but for lunch some days he'd only drink the milk. He'd come home and pig out on fruit/yogurt/nuts, but never tried anything new. The teachers tried and on occasion he'd take the tiniest bite but that was it. The whole school year was like that. It was a big day when he decided he liked syrup on his pancakes. |
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johnnysmom
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Post by johnnysmom on Apr 6, 2016 20:22:33 GMT
It's getting to be all smells. Today he refused to wear a shirt because it smelled....wtf  . He does also exhibit some ocd traits, and is sometimes overly cautious (took me forever to convince him to go down the big slide at a new park yesterday, of course he loved it once he did it) but at the bounce house place today he was running around like crazy, no problem. He's not one to freak out if he's dirty but he's also not a big fan of things like fingerpaints ( he'll do it reluctantly). Occasionally grandma or someone he doesn't see a often (both grandmas are 1+ hours away) can get him to try something new, but for the most part he's pretty consistent with not eating for anyone. I can certainly see the dr sooner, I just thought the well check would give us a nice timeline to start some new routines and see if improvement is made. |
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Post by Zee on Apr 6, 2016 20:26:25 GMT
Yes. My only advice is to not make it a battle. If your son is like mine, it's a battle you won't win. He could go forever without eating. Forcing him to eat just made it worse and he'd vomit on the plate. He's always been very strong-willed and intense. Mealtimes were a chore for everyone. Even now at age 18 he just doesn't enjoy eating. He's very healthy and strong but he doesn't eat much. He's much more adventurous now then the days of only chicken nuggets or Mac and cheese, but more often than not he'll just eat cereal rather than eat with the rest of us. Make sure he has vitamins (Nordic Berries went over very well with DS, and were recommended by his cousin who has similar food issues) and let him have a say in what he eats. Obviously not candy for dinner, though we did have a few days where only m&ms were consumed while we were transitioning out of the "it's a battle" phase. And above all try not to listen to all the people who will tell you you're just spoiling him, he'll eat what you eat or go hungry, no picky eaters allowed in THEIR homes, etc etc etc. Those people likely don't have experience with a child who really will refuse to eat for days. Why fight about it? It just makes everyone miserable. I have two kids and the eldest isn't like that at all, so it's not just my poor parenting |
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johnnysmom
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Post by johnnysmom on Apr 6, 2016 20:28:15 GMT
That's how older ds is, and always has been. When he was young my biggest restaurant complaint was that the kids menu was so boring, he wanted the flavorful, adult meals in kid portions. He started requesting sushi for his birthday dinner at 6. Now I order a side of noodles with butter, no parsley, no cheese. Someone at Disney last month dared to put a piece of broccolini on his plate....he's not one to meltdown but geez was he not happy |
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Post by twinks on Apr 6, 2016 20:55:06 GMT
I would be calling the Dr and getting an OT referral. Then you can be working on things through the Summer with the information you need.
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ModChick
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Post by ModChick on Apr 6, 2016 21:19:39 GMT
I didn't read through the responses yet but I'll give my piece of advice I got from OT/PED/Dietician... your job is to provide the food his job is to choose to eat it or not... My son was born premature and weighed only 1lb 9oz so putting weight on him after leaving the NICU and beyond was of upmost importance and something I stressed about until my first meeting with a dietician / OT at our children's hospital. The first thing she said was what I wrote above and my pediatrician agreed completely. My soon to be 11year old son is still picky (not terribly bad though, manageable I'd call it!) but never once came close to starving himself to death  Oh to be clear I always try to offer foods he likes and ask him to try new ones, if he does try great if he doesn't that's fine. All meals consist of one thing I know he'll eat. For eg if we have spagetthi I'll make his without sauce just butter or for taco night he likes just meat and cheese if I cook an entire menu and he doesn't like any of it he chooses cereal or toast. He never goes hungry and it's not like I'm slaving over 3 different meals so no stress. Nothing worse than being forced to eat something you just don't like and once he gets older he may try more stuff. I've always told him no worries your taste buds will change and one day you might like this or that or want to try something new and just the other day he was so proud of himself for trying ceasar salad. Didn't love it, only ate one bit and ended up eating only a porkchop that night. No worries... |
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Post by papersilly on Apr 6, 2016 21:22:30 GMT
I know a picky child who ate nothing but pasta, rice, carbs, etc throughout his childhood. as a young adult, he has a body of a chubby 40-50 year old man.
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johnnysmom
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Post by johnnysmom on Apr 6, 2016 21:26:23 GMT
I know a picky child who ate nothing but pasta, rice, carbs, etc throughout his childhood. as a young adult, he has a body of a chubby 40-50 year old man. Which is exactly why I want to get him help now. I can tell you that if I provide him only balanced/healthy meals/snacks, he would starve. At 5.5yrs he's 34lbs and has been for almost 2 years now. |
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johnnysmom
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Post by johnnysmom on Apr 6, 2016 21:29:02 GMT
I didn't read through the responses yet but I'll give my piece of advice I got from OT/PED/Dietician... your job is to provide the food his job is to choose to eat it or not... My son was born premature and weighed only 1lb 9oz so putting weight on him after leaving the NICU and beyond was of upmost importance and something I stressed about until my first meeting with a dietician / OT at our children's hospital. The first thing she said was what I wrote above and my pediatrician agreed completely. My soon to be 11year old son is still picky (not terribly bad though, manageable I'd call it!) but never once came close to starving himself to death I said the same for years, I think it's the typical response to picky eaters. I think we're beyond that. If I don't provide him with the dozen or so foods he'll eat he simply won't eat. He's unbelievably stubborn. |
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ModChick
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Post by ModChick on Apr 6, 2016 21:29:08 GMT
I know a picky child who ate nothing but pasta, rice, carbs, etc throughout his childhood. as a young adult, he has a body of a chubby 40-50 year old man. Which is exactly why I want to get him help now. I can tell you that if I provide him only balanced/healthy meals/snacks, he would starve. At 5.5yrs he's 34lbs and has been for almost 2 years now. That's one person though... Doesn't mean that it'll go that way for your child. Model healthy eating, encourage it but I'd never force or stress out about meal time. Just my opinion. |
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ModChick
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Post by ModChick on Apr 6, 2016 21:32:11 GMT
I didn't read through the responses yet but I'll give my piece of advice I got from OT/PED/Dietician... your job is to provide the food his job is to choose to eat it or not... My son was born premature and weighed only 1lb 9oz so putting weight on him after leaving the NICU and beyond was of upmost importance and something I stressed about until my first meeting with a dietician / OT at our children's hospital. The first thing she said was what I wrote above and my pediatrician agreed completely. My soon to be 11year old son is still picky (not terribly bad though, manageable I'd call it!) but never once came close to starving himself to death I said the same for years, I think it's the typical response to picky eaters. I think we're beyond that. If I don't provide him with the dozen or so foods he'll eat he simply won't eat. He's unbelievably stubborn. We also had OT too though to ensure sensory issues weren't a huge problem and since some was the OT helped us over that hurdle. I agree with getting on with an OT too. That may help. Good luck! Parenting is tough enough eh!! |
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Post by nepean on Apr 6, 2016 21:56:28 GMT
It sounds like you are doing a great job Momma! It also sounds like what he does like to eat is healthy. You have received some great advice in this thread that I won't bother repeating.
I did want to share my Dad's story. From the time he began to eat solid foods as an infant he rejected all meat, he simply spat it out EVERY time. He is now 67 and to this day is a vegetarian. In his case it is not a choice, his body does not and can not process meat proteins. He is a fine healthy man, that enjoys a varied diet; just no meat.
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Post by peasapie on Apr 6, 2016 22:06:24 GMT
My friend's son would only eat things if they were very crisp - almost burnt, and limited acceptable food to hot dogs, chicken nuggets, and french fries. This lasted until he was in his mid teens. My friend was really good about giving him what he wanted; definitely more tolerant than I would have been. He's in his 30's now and eats fairly normally.
Taking a cue from her, if I were facing this situation I would give him what he wants and follow any advice from my pediatrician.
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The Great Carpezio
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Post by The Great Carpezio on Apr 6, 2016 22:52:54 GMT
We aren't at that point but my eight year old with ADHD and sensory issues gets very sensitive to smells and textures. He also won't eat anything after he takes his meds in the am/-for at least a couple hours.
He is 8 and 50 lbs. He does eat off meds and at night and some lunch. He is fairly picky. A smell can turn him off from a food he normally likes.
Hang in there.
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kate
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Post by kate on Apr 6, 2016 22:53:25 GMT
I know I've told this story here before, so I'm sorry if this is a repetitive bore for some of you. My firstborn was still eating baby food at 3 and 4 years old. He ate some other stuff, but not much, I only realized how abnormal it was when my next younger kid started eating "adult" food before him. He was another who would not be "starved out" He had SPD and was working with a wonderful OT - she did address food issues in the wider context of SPD, but she was not a feeding therapist. I did learn from her that he had poor oral-motor control, and that he didn't know how to spit out food; to him, if something went in his mouth, he had to swallow it or it stayed in his mouth. No wonder he didn't want to risk trying new things. To make a long story short(er), I stumbled upon a pediatric feeding therapist in my neighborhood when someone asked a feeding question on the local moms' listserv. She changed my DS's life and the life of our family - no exaggeration. Her background was speech pathology, not OT, but she was a specialist who worked with everyone from kids with feeding tubes to kids with a single food aversion to kids with autism. When we met, I told her if I could choose one food for him to learn to eat, it would be pizza. He was at an age where every.single.party/playdate/kiddie gathering involved pizza. He was about 8, I think, when he started. He wouldn't use a fork - it was spoon or fingers. Turns out he was sticking the fork too far into his mouth, gagging himself. Who knew? She also did "food chaining," finding new foods that were close to a known food (like pear slices/apple slices, baby food peas/avocado puree, pretzels/bread sticks). She also used familiar, high-crunch foods as "chasers" in case he didn't like something new - he always had a bowl of popcorn or chips next to him when he was trying something new. She had many other magic tricks in her bag, too. I can't thank her enough. That kid now eats pizza. He also can find things on a menu at a restaurant to order so that he can participate in family gathering and other social events(he's a teen now). Previously, he would only order dry toast at a diner (heaven forbid it come buttered or having Touched Something Else on a plate!). Sorry for the novel - please PM me if you want to chat further! |
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Post by cath4k on Apr 6, 2016 23:18:10 GMT
My one like that failed feeding therapy with a speech pathologist. LOL. I am not saying not to try it. I am just saying that I understand. My child truly would have starved himself and the therapist agreed with that.
We did discover that he had health issues and anxiety issues. He had terrible reflux back then (no longer does) and he also does not tolerate certain foods. What was frustrating was that he had limited himself to the foods he doesn't tolerate! For him it was gluten (celiac disease) and dairy. We did have to withhold those specific foods from him and get him to accept new ones because they were causing him pain. (He hadn't told us he had pain because he was only 2.) He doesn't miss gluten because there are so many gluten free options, but he does miss dairy. He still remembers how yummy cheese is even though he hasn't eaten it in years. Overall, he is still ridiculously picky at 10 years old.
My advice:
Try the feeding therapy.
Make sure he doesn't have underlying medical issues.
Provide only healthy options in your house so he can freely eat as he chooses (it can be difficult to make two meals, but eventually he can make his own option if he doesn't want what you are serving.)
If you do want to have "junk food" occasionally, just do it here and there so he can't limit down to those foods.
Supplement with a high quality multi vitamin/mineral.
Involve him in food preparation and let him be creative in the kitchen.
Have his RBC zinc level checked.
I suggest the last one because my son has to supplement zinc daily or his levels drop. Sometimes his serum level will be fine, but his RBC level is not. (Meaning it circulates around in his blood stream, but doesn't enter the red blood cells.) Two of the symptoms of low zinc are taste being off and decreased appetite. If my son is off zinc for a week there is a noticeable difference in his appetite and he will tell me that his food doesn't taste right. He goes from being a very picky eater to a super-mega picky eater. He probably had low zinc for a long time when he was little and we didn't know it.
Interestingly, my son has recently taken an interest in trying new foods because he enjoys watching Master Chef Jr. Watching the kids cook and eat all kinds of food inspired him.
Good luck with your son!
ETA: low zinc can also affect a person's sense of smell (which is probably why it affects taste.) So I thought of zinc while reading your OP.
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johnnysmom
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Post by johnnysmom on Apr 6, 2016 23:25:37 GMT
Omg this is fantastic. This is exactly the type of info I was hoping to get!! Thank you!!
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Post by melanell on Apr 6, 2016 23:28:32 GMT
I agree with the idea of seeing a specialist about his issues now rather than in August. That will give you all summer to work with DS on whatever is suggested.
If you wait, you'll have just a small amount of time before school starts again and everyone is scurrying to get used to a new schedule, new routine, new teachers, etc., etc.
Best of luck!
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Post by Zee on Apr 6, 2016 23:30:20 GMT
I know a picky child who ate nothing but pasta, rice, carbs, etc throughout his childhood. as a young adult, he has a body of a chubby 40-50 year old man. I could see that happening but my son (who jokingly calls himself a "carb-itarian") is actually very fit and muscular, though slim. He works out a lot. I honestly wish I had more of his attitude toward food--it's just for survival to him, not a treat or reward or the best part of the day. Le sigh |
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Post by wholarmor on Apr 6, 2016 23:36:14 GMT
My youngest is this way, he's turning 9, and still only eats cereal, a certain brand of frozen burritos, bananas, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and a few other things. He has branched off a little since going to school, but still very selective in what he eats. He, too, would rather starve than eat many things. He'll tell me that he had a bad day because they make him take certain items at school lunch(even though he doesn't have to eat them). I need to look into food therapy, I think.
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Post by angie3dpea on Apr 6, 2016 23:44:51 GMT
I am struggling with an 11 year old now. I have burst into tears more than once over this. I have swung on a pendulum from not making it and issue and just letting him eat what he eats to knock down drag out fights about grapes. And everywhere in between.
He does have anxiety and ADHD. The anxiety meds helped him to where he would at least consider eating new things without a fight. The ADHD meds are working against us right now with killing his appetite but the rewards outweigh this and he's not losing weight. I will probably not medicate him this summer and see if we can make some progress.
Fruits and veggies are our big struggle. He finally started eating meat just within the last year that isn't a nugget or corn dog. We supplement with Carnation Instant Breakfast still but it's not as big o a deal as it was - I swear those drinks are the only reason he didn't completely fall off the growth chart. He went from 95th percentile in weight when he was 3 to 25th when he was 10. He's actually back up to the 54th now.
We have tried therapy and had an evaluation with a feeding therapist who determined there is nothing physically wrong. And the fact that he doesn't freak over food and will eat things in other forms (like no whole strawberries but strawberry smoothie is fine). We basically got a "stubborn" diagnosis.
I could go on and on but I know it's a hard road. Start now! I wish I had addressed mine way earlier but it took me 3 years of appointments at the Ped. To get her to listen to my issue and finally agree that there was an issue.
Good luck mama!' PM me if you ever need to talk!
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LeaP
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Post by LeaP on Apr 6, 2016 23:48:21 GMT
I'd have him evaluated by an Occupational Therapist. Sounds like classic sensory processing disorder to me. He needs to work with therapist who specializes in food therapy. Also, there are some pediatricians, especially old school ones, who think it's phooey and will brush you off, tell you to wait it out. NO!!! Find another Dr. until you get someone who will help and refer you to a good OT. My son has sensory issues,but his are not related to food. One of his buddies has food sensory issues big time though, very much like what you're describing. For a long time he would only drink milk, pediasure and apple juice and eat crackers or chips. That was it. Food therapy has been helping a ton. DO NOT STARVE HIM OUT until you know what you're dealing with. Please. This is not helpful at all and can make issues worse. Don't make it a battle! He needs help, not punishment via hunger/starvation.  I have a friend who is an occupational therapist who specializes in feeding issues in children. She explained to me that fairly early on a child can develop a flight response (from fight or flight) to food and actually starve themselves rather than eat even if they are hungry. A occupational therapist will work one on one with a child to help them eat. There are different approaches depending on the age of the child. |
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Anyway, her cousin also has terrible feeding issues. He is 10 now, and I know at one point he only had two things he would eat. Not sure how many things he will eat now. 
. He does also exhibit some ocd traits, and is sometimes overly cautious (took me forever to convince him to go down the big slide at a new park yesterday, of course he loved it once he did it) but at the bounce house place today he was running around like crazy, no problem. He's not one to freak out if he's dirty but he's also not a big fan of things like fingerpaints ( he'll do it reluctantly). Occasionally grandma or someone he doesn't see a often (both grandmas are 1+ hours away) can get him to try something new, but for the most part he's pretty consistent with not eating for anyone.
I have a friend who is an occupational therapist who specializes in feeding issues in children. She explained to me that fairly early on a child can develop a flight response (from fight or flight) to food and actually starve themselves rather than eat even if they are hungry. A occupational therapist will work one on one with a child to help them eat. There are different approaches depending on the age of the child.