Post by scrappinspidey2 on Apr 9, 2016 15:05:31 GMT
I have severe grass allergies and I have moved to the Midwest. Lucky me . When we first moved into this house last fall, I was approached by the neighbor kid asking if he could mow my lawns. I was thrilled! Unfortunately it was a very wet time of year so he didn't start till a few weeks ago. He came by and asked again if it was ok, we settled on a price, and he said he would be by at 8 on Saturday. I got up early and was waiting. Didn't;t hear from him till late afternoon. Luckily I was home all day but it kinda of bugged me. I let it go. He said he would be back the next week and off he went. He never showed up last week at all. He does have my cell number to text but he didn't use that either
Today im in the shower and I hear the door but I am not expecting anyone so I didn't answer. I continued with my lazy weekend shower. I asked. My daughter to go outside and pick up after the dog and she comes back in to tell me the neighbor kid and his dad are in the backyard working on the lawn etc.
did I unknowingly give this kid permission to enter my back yard any time he is ready to work on the yard or should he be asking before entering my yard? I admit that as a hermit having them in my yard unknowingly today has set off a bit of panic. The kids dad has always made me uncomfortable anyway (long story) but the kid himself seems nice enough.
While I was typing this, they came to the door. I want to see what you guys say before I tell you how I handled it. I'm afraid I may not have handled it well.
**update** Things got super crazy around here, sorry to not get back to the thread. At the time I typed the thread, I was interrupted by the door and it was the kid asking a question. So I talked to him and explained that I hadn't been expecting him this week and that finding he and his dad in my back yard unannounced was not a good experience for me. I made sure that I pointed out how he would not know that it would panic me but also pointed out that his lack of communication was a huge factor in my not really wanting them to be working on my lawn. He apologized and I figured that was that. He had not started actually mowing at the time so I figured no harm no foul we would just go on with our day. That is where I feel maybe I didn't handle it quite right but I was still shaking from the whole "who the hell is in my yard" moment I know the panic thing is my problem and yes Im working on it, but its not going to go away over night.
5 minutes later, another knock on the door. This time it was the dad and the boy. The dad was not happy that I talked to his son and asked them not to work on the lawn. He was slightly obnoxious about it as usual (more on that in a minute) and pushy. I explained that the panic portion of todays events was not something they would know about, however, it isn't that odd to think someone would be freaked out about unexpected people in their backyards. I explained (I hate that I feel I have to be on the defensive all the time) that due to his no show the week before and his lack of communication, I figured he didn't want to work on the lawn. Dad seemed surprised by that. He explained that they looked at the lawn the week before and decided it didn't need to be mowed. I said that would have been fine had you communicated with me but you didn't. How was I supposed to know what you were doing? If you tell me you will be here, then I expect you will be here or at least communicate with me if you choose not to. The dad continued to poke at me and it just got super uncomfortable (like I wasn't already) so I finally just said, you know, I think we will handle it from now on. We will take care of the mowing ourselves. He tried to keep questioning and was just really getting aggressive so I just kept repeating I was sorry but we will just handle it ourselves. Finally they left.
We went about our day, a trip to the local home improvement stores for plants and to look at lawn mowers etc. Came home and we weren't even home 10 minutes when there was a pounding at the door. It was the dad. He was still upset about this morning. He came at me hard about how it was my fault and how I was being unreasonable. He said it was my fault for not tracking the kid down last week, which I very firmly told him that was not my responsibility. His son had made an appointment to be at my house on that day and choose to not show up or communicate he wasn't coming. He kept trying to lecture me about how he feels things are done in the "real world" and was just down right rude. Then he said that his son did over an hours worth of work before we shut it down. I guess I should have been shocked but I figured he was headed in that direction. I calmly stated that they were not working on my yard for an hour. I explained that they were not in my yard when I got in the shower and my shower did not last an hour. He wanted me to pay his son for picking up some of the dog mess in the back yard. Fine...but he wanted the full price. I refused. we finally came to an agreement, more like I paid him to get him away from me but oh well.
The truth is the dad gives me the creeps. He has since the first day I met him. There have been many instances where he feels it necessary to get up in my business and is very argumentative and I feel judgmental given his comments. He has come on to my property when I wasn't home and reached over the back yard fence to "take a look at your dog". I find that odd. No sense of personal space so every encounter is seriously in your face. I have only had a handful of encounters with him but enough that Im very uncomfortable with him. I think that was part of it today. I wasn't expecting him in the yard at all. Then with the following two encounters and him being somewhat aggressive, Im just thinking its better that we handle it ourselves.
So we learned lots of life lessons today and we learned we can grow kiwi and grapes on our back porch!! Score for us!! Maybe I did handle it wrong, from the beginning and I can accept that part of it. I am glad this happened now as I feel with my being uncomfortable around the dad, things could have gotten worse down the line. This way it was a short partnership. Life goes on.
Today im in the shower and I hear the door but I am not expecting anyone so I didn't answer. I continued with my lazy weekend shower. I asked. My daughter to go outside and pick up after the dog and she comes back in to tell me the neighbor kid and his dad are in the backyard working on the lawn etc.
did I unknowingly give this kid permission to enter my back yard any time he is ready to work on the yard or should he be asking before entering my yard? I admit that as a hermit having them in my yard unknowingly today has set off a bit of panic. The kids dad has always made me uncomfortable anyway (long story) but the kid himself seems nice enough.
While I was typing this, they came to the door. I want to see what you guys say before I tell you how I handled it. I'm afraid I may not have handled it well.
**update** Things got super crazy around here, sorry to not get back to the thread. At the time I typed the thread, I was interrupted by the door and it was the kid asking a question. So I talked to him and explained that I hadn't been expecting him this week and that finding he and his dad in my back yard unannounced was not a good experience for me. I made sure that I pointed out how he would not know that it would panic me but also pointed out that his lack of communication was a huge factor in my not really wanting them to be working on my lawn. He apologized and I figured that was that. He had not started actually mowing at the time so I figured no harm no foul we would just go on with our day. That is where I feel maybe I didn't handle it quite right but I was still shaking from the whole "who the hell is in my yard" moment I know the panic thing is my problem and yes Im working on it, but its not going to go away over night.
5 minutes later, another knock on the door. This time it was the dad and the boy. The dad was not happy that I talked to his son and asked them not to work on the lawn. He was slightly obnoxious about it as usual (more on that in a minute) and pushy. I explained that the panic portion of todays events was not something they would know about, however, it isn't that odd to think someone would be freaked out about unexpected people in their backyards. I explained (I hate that I feel I have to be on the defensive all the time) that due to his no show the week before and his lack of communication, I figured he didn't want to work on the lawn. Dad seemed surprised by that. He explained that they looked at the lawn the week before and decided it didn't need to be mowed. I said that would have been fine had you communicated with me but you didn't. How was I supposed to know what you were doing? If you tell me you will be here, then I expect you will be here or at least communicate with me if you choose not to. The dad continued to poke at me and it just got super uncomfortable (like I wasn't already) so I finally just said, you know, I think we will handle it from now on. We will take care of the mowing ourselves. He tried to keep questioning and was just really getting aggressive so I just kept repeating I was sorry but we will just handle it ourselves. Finally they left.
We went about our day, a trip to the local home improvement stores for plants and to look at lawn mowers etc. Came home and we weren't even home 10 minutes when there was a pounding at the door. It was the dad. He was still upset about this morning. He came at me hard about how it was my fault and how I was being unreasonable. He said it was my fault for not tracking the kid down last week, which I very firmly told him that was not my responsibility. His son had made an appointment to be at my house on that day and choose to not show up or communicate he wasn't coming. He kept trying to lecture me about how he feels things are done in the "real world" and was just down right rude. Then he said that his son did over an hours worth of work before we shut it down. I guess I should have been shocked but I figured he was headed in that direction. I calmly stated that they were not working on my yard for an hour. I explained that they were not in my yard when I got in the shower and my shower did not last an hour. He wanted me to pay his son for picking up some of the dog mess in the back yard. Fine...but he wanted the full price. I refused. we finally came to an agreement, more like I paid him to get him away from me but oh well.
The truth is the dad gives me the creeps. He has since the first day I met him. There have been many instances where he feels it necessary to get up in my business and is very argumentative and I feel judgmental given his comments. He has come on to my property when I wasn't home and reached over the back yard fence to "take a look at your dog". I find that odd. No sense of personal space so every encounter is seriously in your face. I have only had a handful of encounters with him but enough that Im very uncomfortable with him. I think that was part of it today. I wasn't expecting him in the yard at all. Then with the following two encounters and him being somewhat aggressive, Im just thinking its better that we handle it ourselves.
So we learned lots of life lessons today and we learned we can grow kiwi and grapes on our back porch!! Score for us!! Maybe I did handle it wrong, from the beginning and I can accept that part of it. I am glad this happened now as I feel with my being uncomfortable around the dad, things could have gotten worse down the line. This way it was a short partnership. Life goes on.