Post by Kerri W on Apr 22, 2016 19:30:53 GMT
Part vent, part PSA.
No is an acceptable answer. And we as women should "allow" our friends/family to say no and not badger the shit out of them. Be respectful that if somebody says something doesn't work for them, it really doesn't matter WHY, it just doesn't work.
I'm fine having boundaries. My sister is not. She wants to change the plans we had to bring my mom home to next week instead of this weekend. First saying she'd bring her all the way home next week and come stay with me for a few days. Then saying she'd meet half way the weekend after. Our other sister can stick to the original plan to bring her half way this weekend, is happy to do it and that works best for me so that's what we're going to do. Win-win.
1. I have a hellacious week coming up. I don't need to justify that to anybody. Work is crazy. DH is out of town all week so I will be handling our home life single handedly. And it will be my mom's first week living with us full time. I am going to be whipped. I just simply don't want to have a guest.
2. My mom left with a two week stay in mind. Her seizure med refill was just delivered to my house a couple days ago so I have to assume she doesn't even have enough meds to stay another full week.
Just because my sister wants to get a way for a few days does not mean that it works for me. And I shouldn't be raked over the coals for saying "not this time." She came to stay three weeks ago and we had a great visit. It's just simply not a good time.
To me if they say no then it means no and why would I badger them into changing their mind. That isn't going to work for anyone so let it go and let them be 
My mom has lived alone until now. Since last fall two of my sisters took turns coming down to visit mom one weekend a month and give me a break. One sister was very reliable and really made the most of her visits. The other never came when it was scheduled (which meant we couldn't count on her help and plan around it) and when she did come acted like it was her vacation and wanted to do dinners every night, shopping and outings..which would have been great if that was the intent of the visits. Honestly we knew this is the way it would go from the beginning it just gets old. She means well she's just incredibly self centered and has no self esteem so when you do say no to her it's all drama. I don't have it in me this week. 