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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Apr 28, 2016 14:42:49 GMT
That was MY father, but my parents never divorced. It's pretty hard when your dad doesn't go to one thing your entire life (except my high school graduation and my mom had to drag him to that). Oh well... I got over it, really. In time she'll figure it out on her own and dad will learn the hard way, if he even wants to learn at all. I advise to stop trying so hard, he doesn't WANT to come. All you'll do is make yourself and her feel worse about it. I really don't involve her in the conversations I have with her Dad. That is between he and I, and I do my best to keep it that way. Since we moved here just over 5 years ago she has been in 10-15 shows. This is the second time I have urged him to come. In the past I have let him know.. but if he has never seen her perform I don't think he can truly understand what it means to her, she is transformed on stage. This role is special, and means a lot to her.. so for her sake, if my urging has the desired effect.. great. If not it is most definitely his loss ! I am sure she will get over it. His Dad pretty much ignored him his whole life.. I had hoped that he would want to be different.. but I guess our default is to do what we know.  |
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Post by twinks on Apr 28, 2016 17:36:16 GMT
Like anxiousmom, I was given similar advice. I let my DD forge her own relationship with her dad. I lowered my expectations.
My DD came to realize that her dad is just not going to be there for her. He puts her in situations that she doesn't know how to handle.
The saddest part was when she graduated from high school. As part of Senior Prom, the parent gets to dance the first dance with their child. My DD asked her uncle, my younger brother, to be her partner for the parent dance. My brother flew across the country, had to get a rental car and a hotel room just for a 3-4 minute dance. My DD didn't even send a graduation announcement to her dad. I asked her if she wanted to and she said, "It doesn't matter to him."
It sucks and it is heart wrenching - bottom line.
Just a couple of thoughts that I had: 1)He isn't going to know how important this is to your DD unless he can hear it from her. I know you are trying to protect your DD from being hurt. You can't. She should be calling him - not you. 2) Let it go. Don't focus on it anymore. Focus on your DD. This is a big deal! This is special for her. Don't let his actions ruin it.
Congratulations to you DD!!! I am excited for her!
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