scrappyesq
Pearl Clutcher
You have always been a part of the heist. You're only mad now because you don't like your cut.
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Post by scrappyesq on Apr 27, 2016 14:08:38 GMT
I was just reading the divorce thread and I wondered how many people have separated from DH but later reconciled and things turned out fine?
Full disclosure: DH and I have been separated since Christmas Day. He was unfaithful so I left him. A few days after New Years Day he called me and told me that he was going to finally seek therapy for untreated severe depression (he was suicidal). I also started seeing a therapist because of some crazy ish going on in my life. I've talked about it here and here. Since that day, we went right back to calling and texting each other at least 20 times a day (which is how it was from the day we met and throughout our marriage) and seeing each other (all G- rated) at least 2-3 times per week, from trips to Ikea to finally furnish a craft area to birdwatching (another thing we did all the time).
He knows I don't want a divorce anymore. I've asked him, and even though he hasn't said he doesn't want a divorce either his response has been that he is still working on his stuff. Which is fine. No pressure, we both have things that need to be sorted out. The affair is the least of them, since I honestly believe that it was more a symptom of things crumbling between us than DH being a philanderer.
I was just wondering if there's anyone else out there who stayed married after a separation?? |
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Post by Zee on Apr 27, 2016 14:18:42 GMT
Yes. We lived apart for a year back in 2002-03. We've been back together ever since. It wasn't easy, took a lot LOT of work and honestly mainly just a lot of time to heal those wounds, but I'm very happy now (though in the past year he's had to travel a lot, and that's hard on any marriage, but I'm always free to go with if my schedule permits and we don't really have trust issues anymore). Our 21st anniversary is next month and we planned a camping trip.  While we were separated I think I've never hated anyone more than I hated him, which made the sex incredibly hot, lolol. There were booty calls all the time. Things are considerably tamer now, but that's ok. He's my best friend. It can work, if you both want it to. You absolutely have to get over the urge to want him to be SORRY and to bring it up constantly. If you're already past that, you should have a much easier job of it than I did. |
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Deleted
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Sept 29, 2024 12:23:44 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 27, 2016 14:33:40 GMT
yes...july 09-Jan 10...very glad we worked through it. It's not always easy to put it in the past, but I do agree that the urge to bring it up must go away.
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grammanisi
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by grammanisi on Apr 27, 2016 14:39:55 GMT
Yes. Sept 1997-June 1999. He turned 40 and turned into a stranger, literally. We talked and talked and still talk and went to therapy and now we are stronger than ever. We will have our 38th anniversary in Sept.
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scrappyesq
Pearl Clutcher
You have always been a part of the heist. You're only mad now because you don't like your cut.
Posts: 4,060
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Post by scrappyesq on Apr 27, 2016 15:11:22 GMT
It can work, if you both want it to. You absolutely have to get over the urge to want him to be SORRY and to bring it up constantly. If you're already past that, you should have a much easier job of it than I did.
Ironically, I feel worse for him when he starts saying sorry because I can tell its tearing him up. Not to say that it didn't hurt when I first found out, but I find it more helpful to talk to my therapist about the anger. Sometimes I think DH is amazed that I'm not constantly rehashing the affair, but I figure what's the point of continually dragging him over the coals to make him feel bad. That doesn't make me feel any better.
And darn I can't wait till we get to the booty call phase, LOL!!
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Post by scrapmaven on Apr 27, 2016 15:32:03 GMT
I don't have any experience, so take my words w/a grain of salt. It sounds like you both want to make the marriage work, but are being smart and working through your own issues first. In addition to your individual therapy have you considered couples counseling as an adjunct? I think you're both approaching this from a very healthy place and it sounds very hopeful.
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scrappyesq
Pearl Clutcher
You have always been a part of the heist. You're only mad now because you don't like your cut.
Posts: 4,060
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Post by scrappyesq on Apr 27, 2016 15:42:58 GMT
I don't have any experience, so take my words w/a grain of salt. It sounds like you both want to make the marriage work, but are being smart and working through your own issues first. In addition to your individual therapy have you considered couples counseling as an adjunct? I think you're both approaching this from a very healthy place and it sounds very hopeful.
We've done one marriage counseling session. I'm sure we're going to do more, but I have to ease DH into it. We went to a counselor a few years ago, and she didn't help at all. DH hated her, which I didn't find out until after I left. Looking back I see that our sessions were more about blaming DH for our issues (mainly communication) than trying to help us fix things as a couple with two responsible people.
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Post by bc2ca on Apr 27, 2016 15:50:07 GMT
Not me, but good friends separated for a couple of years. She went back to her maiden name, flushed her rings down the toilet, etc. He was in a relationship with someone else for at least 6 months, she dated a few guys and they both managed to stay in our circle of friends. After a couple of years they were coming to parties together and then bought a house. They are still going strong 15+ years later with a couple of kids.
My SIL and her husband separated over his affair. He never thought she would leave him and it really looked like they were headed to divorce. I'm not sure the details, but basically he started courting her again and worked hard to regain her trust. Getting over the hurt was hard, but they are a stronger couple now than they were before the affair (treat each other with respect, never hear them talking down about the other, etc.).
Good luck figuring this - it's not easy.
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Post by Linda on Apr 27, 2016 15:57:04 GMT
not quite the same but we separated after our engagement when I got pg and didn't even TALK for five years (starting when DS was 6m) - we ended up reconciling and married a month before DS turned 8. We've been married almost 17 years now. My late SIL married and divorced her 2nd husband 4 times and was in the process of divorcing him a 5th when he died. Not quite sure if that's a success story though And my grandmother-IL went back to husband 2 after having her marriage to husband 3 annulled for bigamy and they remained married until his death |
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Post by mellowyellow on Apr 27, 2016 15:57:30 GMT
I don't know where you are located but DH and I attended Marriage Bootcamp and it was literally life changing. We had gone to counseling for 2 years prior to that but still wasn't where we wanted to be. DH found out about the bootcamp from a guy he worked with and said he wanted to go. It was the best decision we've ever made. You can check it out at www.marriagebootcamp.com. Good luck! It definitely sounds like you are both are the right track! |
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Post by myboysnme on Apr 27, 2016 15:58:56 GMT
My XDH and I separated and reconciled three times. Each time I was so hopeful and gave him my trust. Each time we split I hated myself for getting suckered again.
God knows how long that cycle would have gone on but I filed for divorce and we moved on. That was 30 years ago. I still have occasional contact with him. He has visited my town and we get together for dinner or coffee. It's been a few years now as he works overseas as a contractor. Whenever he visits I feel comfortable about it but still I ask myself can I even imagine ever being with him? No. It still makes me shake my head.
I did have the chance to tell him all the things I wanted to say and it didn't matter how he responded because I don't care about him like that. He acknowledged he was a shit husband and bought me a Coach purse.
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scrappyesq
Pearl Clutcher
You have always been a part of the heist. You're only mad now because you don't like your cut.
Posts: 4,060
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Post by scrappyesq on Apr 27, 2016 16:07:29 GMT
I don't know where you are located but DH and I attended Marriage Bootcamp and it was literally life changing. We had gone to counseling for 2 years prior to that but still wasn't where we wanted to be. DH found out about the bootcamp from a guy he worked with and said he wanted to go. It was the best decision we've ever made. You can check it out at www.marriagebootcamp.com. Good luck! It definitely sounds like you are both are the right track!
This looks fantastic! We're in the Northeast but it sounds like something worth traveling for, to either Atlanta or Ft. Lauderdale.
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Post by mellowyellow on Apr 27, 2016 16:13:26 GMT
I don't know where you are located but DH and I attended Marriage Bootcamp and it was literally life changing. We had gone to counseling for 2 years prior to that but still wasn't where we wanted to be. DH found out about the bootcamp from a guy he worked with and said he wanted to go. It was the best decision we've ever made. You can check it out at www.marriagebootcamp.com. Good luck! It definitely sounds like you are both are the right track!
This looks fantastic! We're in the Northeast but it sounds like something worth traveling for, to either Atlanta or Ft. Lauderdale.
It truly is. As graduates, we have been able to sponsor some couples and they too have loved it. It's very intense but so worth it. We are in the Houston area and our class had couples from California, Arizona, New York, South Carolina...all over the place. |
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Post by chirpingcricket on Apr 27, 2016 16:24:49 GMT
Separated 4 months in 1990. Lots of counseling, both separately and together. It was hard, but it seems to have worked out. We've gone back to counseling twice in the last 26 years; that doesn't seem too much to handle.
I work for a divorce lawyer. He told me when I started working here that I would never see a couple file for divorce and then reconcile. He's wrong. I've seen three couples reconcile. It's *awesome* when it happens, but it really is rare.
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by luvnlifelady on Apr 27, 2016 16:55:59 GMT
Yes. We have. He had a full blown affair in 2000-2001. It was the year from hell. I think I hit all the big psychological things that year.
In January, we sold our house. In February, my dad died after a 2 year battle with lung cancer. In March, we moved. In May, we had our son. By November, he moved out to his parents house and in December he filed for divorce on me.
We had to sell the house we had just bought and I moved into a rental with the kids (then about 4 and 1).
We started dating that summer and in September attended Retrouvaille (a weekend workshop for troubled marriages). He moved back in 9/10, the day before all hell broke loose on 9/11. We also attended some couples counseling.
Things have been ok but we've hit a rough patch now from my perspective anyway. We plan to attend Marriage Encounter in June to see if we can right the ship.
The big issue is his time spent away from home, regardless of what he's doing. DD is moving home permanently next month and DS wants his attention too so he simply needs to be around more. We'll see if anything changes.
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scrappyesq
Pearl Clutcher
You have always been a part of the heist. You're only mad now because you don't like your cut.
Posts: 4,060
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Post by scrappyesq on Apr 27, 2016 17:05:50 GMT
Yes. We have. He had a full blown affair in 2000-2001. It was the year from hell. I think I hit all the big psychological things that year. In January, we sold our house. In February, my dad died after a 2 year battle with lung cancer. In March, we moved. In May, we had our son. By November, he moved out to his parents house and in December he filed for divorce on me. We had to sell the house we had just bought and I moved into a rental with the kids (then about 4 and 1). We started dating that summer and in September attended Retrouvaille (a weekend workshop for troubled marriages). He moved back in 9/10, the day before all hell broke loose on 9/11. We also attended some couples counseling. Things have been ok but we've hit a rough patch now from my perspective anyway. We plan to attend Marriage Encounter in June to see if we can right the ship. The big issue is his time spent away from home, regardless of what he's doing. DD is moving home permanently next month and DS wants his attention too so he simply needs to be around more. We'll see if anything changes.
I hope everything works out for the two of you. Its a tough road.
I can understand what you mean about hitting all the psychological things at once. My life is completely different from what it was 6 months ago. I've lost my family, a lot of my friends, my home for 8 years. I'm just hoping that we come out stronger on the other end.
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
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Post by luvnlifelady on Apr 27, 2016 17:20:05 GMT
Yes. We have. He had a full blown affair in 2000-2001. It was the year from hell. I think I hit all the big psychological things that year. In January, we sold our house. In February, my dad died after a 2 year battle with lung cancer. In March, we moved. In May, we had our son. By November, he moved out to his parents house and in December he filed for divorce on me. We had to sell the house we had just bought and I moved into a rental with the kids (then about 4 and 1). We started dating that summer and in September attended Retrouvaille (a weekend workshop for troubled marriages). He moved back in 9/10, the day before all hell broke loose on 9/11. We also attended some couples counseling. Things have been ok but we've hit a rough patch now from my perspective anyway. We plan to attend Marriage Encounter in June to see if we can right the ship. The big issue is his time spent away from home, regardless of what he's doing. DD is moving home permanently next month and DS wants his attention too so he simply needs to be around more. We'll see if anything changes.
I hope everything works out for the two of you. Its a tough road.
I can understand what you mean about hitting all the psychological things at once. My life is completely different from what it was 6 months ago. I've lost my family, a lot of my friends, my home for 8 years. I'm just hoping that we come out stronger on the other end.
Thanks. Yah, it's been tough. I'm also finding my backbone now that I turned 50 last summer. No longer want to be a doormat to everyone. Unfortunately, everybody is used to that so if I cry foul, then I'm the bitch. Ok, whatever. I hope it works out the way you want it to also. Just make sure that it's your choice and that you're doing it for you. Originally, I did it for the kids so I don't regret that part but now I want it to be about me too. |
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momto4kiddos
Drama Llama
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Jun 26, 2014 11:45:15 GMT
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Post by momto4kiddos on Apr 27, 2016 17:20:32 GMT
I don't know where you are located but DH and I attended Marriage Bootcamp and it was literally life changing. We had gone to counseling for 2 years prior to that but still wasn't where we wanted to be. DH found out about the bootcamp from a guy he worked with and said he wanted to go. It was the best decision we've ever made. You can check it out at www.marriagebootcamp.com. Good luck! It definitely sounds like you are both are the right track! I've always wondered about these types of things. Would love it if you gave more info on what kinds of things fill the days of these encounters. A therapist I am seeing suggested it, but i've had my doubts. Would love more info. |
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Post by mellowyellow on Apr 27, 2016 17:25:19 GMT
I don't know where you are located but DH and I attended Marriage Bootcamp and it was literally life changing. We had gone to counseling for 2 years prior to that but still wasn't where we wanted to be. DH found out about the bootcamp from a guy he worked with and said he wanted to go. It was the best decision we've ever made. You can check it out at www.marriagebootcamp.com. Good luck! It definitely sounds like you are both are the right track! I've always wondered about these types of things. Would love it if you gave more info on what kinds of things fill the days of these encounters. A therapist I am seeing suggested it, but i've had my doubts. Would love more info. Here is the "About Marriage Boot Camp" from the website. We say About Marriage Boot Camp that it is just what the doctor ordered. Counselors claim that the Marriage Boot Camp is the Best Marriage Retreat available for modern day couples. Jim Carroll, the founder of the seminar, has more than 20 years specializing in healing relationships and changing lives. But don’t let the word, ‘retreat’ fool you. During one of our Marriage Boot Camps, each half of the partnership will be required to put in a lot of hard work. Taking practices from all fields including proven effective Christian marriage seminars, we use a unique and successful combination of mental games, drills, competitions, skits, and experiential events to raise your awareness and deepen your relationship on every level. We help you plant, cultivate and harvest the seeds of change that will allow you to take action and transform your life. It’s part of the reason the Marriage Boot Camp has such a solid record for saving marriages, and why marriage counselors recommend our one-of-a-kind marriage retreat time and time again. And they’re not the only ones. Married couples also rave about the results of our intense Marriage Seminar. Most consider it one of the top five experiences of their lives. Even Hollywood celebrities agree that the Boot Camp saves marriages. Strong faith or no faith, we can help! Everyone’s welcome regardless of belief or background. All that’s necessary is a willingness to improve. We’ll help you do the rest! Even if you have already filed for divorce, the Boot Camp will give you the tools you need to work through your current and future issues peacefully. Engaged? The Marriage Boot Camp is perfect for premarital counseling and learning how to start your marriage off on the right foot. You will gain the skills and techniques to face problems as they come and maintain a happy marriage for years to come. Come learn about Marriage Boot camp today! |
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by luvnlifelady on Apr 27, 2016 18:03:17 GMT
At least with Retrouvaille, it was 3 couples that spoke of experiences and a priest. Then sometimes people would share. Dh wasn't too into that part. The main part though was teaching you communication styles and then having you go work on stuff together in your room. I don't think there was even a TV. Meals were taken together in a main dining room.
Ironically, the workshop we attended was at the same Retreat center where we had gotten married.
I've heard Marriage Encounter is similar. His parents went to it before as did his brother and they both have high reviews for it. I'm nervous that this would maybe be our last shot because at least today, I'm not feeling it.
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scrappyesq
Pearl Clutcher
You have always been a part of the heist. You're only mad now because you don't like your cut.
Posts: 4,060
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Post by scrappyesq on Apr 27, 2016 18:27:41 GMT
I hope everything works out for the two of you. Its a tough road.
I can understand what you mean about hitting all the psychological things at once. My life is completely different from what it was 6 months ago. I've lost my family, a lot of my friends, my home for 8 years. I'm just hoping that we come out stronger on the other end.
Thanks. Yah, it's been tough. I'm also finding my backbone now that I turned 50 last summer. No longer want to be a doormat to everyone. Unfortunately, everybody is used to that so if I cry foul, then I'm the bitch. Ok, whatever. I hope it works out the way you want it to also. Just make sure that it's your choice and that you're doing it for you. Originally, I did it for the kids so I don't regret that part but now I want it to be about me too.
Thank you. I also hear you about backbone. Its funny how things work out. DH always told me that I was my family's doormat. But I didn't believe him and we disagreed about it a lot. After this situation I have a backbone made of steel when it comes to my family. And I'm the bitch.
I left with the full intention of divorcing DH. Which is what everyone said I should do for me, as a strong woman who doesn't take any crap from anyone. But after the first few days (because we only didn't speak to each other for three days) I started to think not so fast. Then when I went to my first therapy session I realized that there were a lot of things that I was responsible for. Not to minimize the affair in any way, of course, but as my therapy sessions continued it occurred to me that I didn't want to throw in the towel. I didn't want to lose my marriage. For me. Not anyone else because for the most part I still get the look when I tell people that he cheated and I want to work things out.
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
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Post by luvnlifelady on Apr 27, 2016 18:33:15 GMT
Thanks. Yah, it's been tough. I'm also finding my backbone now that I turned 50 last summer. No longer want to be a doormat to everyone. Unfortunately, everybody is used to that so if I cry foul, then I'm the bitch. Ok, whatever. I hope it works out the way you want it to also. Just make sure that it's your choice and that you're doing it for you. Originally, I did it for the kids so I don't regret that part but now I want it to be about me too.
Thank you. I also hear you about backbone. Its funny how things work out. DH always told me that I was my family's doormat. But I didn't believe him and we disagreed about it a lot. After this situation I have a backbone made of steel when it comes to my family. And I'm the bitch.
I left with the full intention of divorcing DH. Which is what everyone said I should do for me, as a strong woman who doesn't take any crap from anyone. But after the first few days (because we only didn't speak to each other for three days) I started to think not so fast. Then when I went to my first therapy session I realized that there were a lot of things that I was responsible for. Not to minimize the affair in any way, of course, but as my therapy sessions continued it occurred to me that I didn't want to throw in the towel. I didn't want to lose my marriage. For me. Not anyone else because for the most part I still get the look when I tell people that he cheated and I want to work things out.
Oh yah, you will find that everyone has an opinion. It's like baby names. Ha ha! It's all well and good to say "leave him and kick him to the curb" while they have their intact families around while you're by yourself on the weekends he would have the kids. I put a lot of thought into it before I chose to reconcile and I still think it was the right thing to do. I hope you feel the same in the end. It's easier to throw in the towel but hard work to make it work. |
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Post by ladytrisha on Apr 27, 2016 21:29:18 GMT
We had issues in 1991 but finally worked thru them. We followed my mom and dad's advice to talk it thru with nothing left on the table - as uncomfortable and ugly as that was - and then you either decide to forgive or not. I chose to forgive - and it has not been an easy road. There are times up to probably 3 years ago, that self-doubt creeps in (I have self-esteem issues from my Dad) Our key was not to bring it up again - once it got tied up in a bow, that was it. We don't revisit it and rehash it - EVER.
That's not to say others don't. I've been questioned by family and friends on why we stayed together, whether it was worth it (yes) and why we never told our son specifics (uhh, no - he knows we had problems and that we worked thru it, and I don't think giving our son specifics helps anyone). Turns our family and friends are weird - especially when you see them divorce later on. We never told his mother about any of it because she was so non-supportive of anything we did - funny when you consider we have spent the last year of our lives dealing with her Alzheimer's nightmare.
We are stronger as a couple, approaching 36 years this year, even with all the mess of the last 2 years. We really just want to get to the other side of all this STUFF.
We watched his brother and my friend go thru a nasty divorce and at the beginning we had sat with both of them separately and listened to them talk about what they lost, and how it disintegrated, and my BIL cried one night holding my hand talking about how much he loved her. I was crying. We really tried like crazy to get them to a counselor who believed in saving a marriage instead of just "move on". We still believe that if they had put as much energy into talking with each other, that behaviors could have changed and they would have saved it or even created a better marriage, but they were always out of sync with how they felt on saving or leaving.
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Deleted
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Sept 29, 2024 12:23:44 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2016 0:24:54 GMT
My cousin's brother is divorced, but they are still together.
The ex loves it. The brother takes her on dates and vacations that he plans. He is more caring and thoughtful than when they were married. Sometimes divorce isn't so bad
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Post by fotos4u2 on Apr 28, 2016 0:34:56 GMT
My late SIL married and divorced her 2nd husband 4 times and was in the process of divorcing him a 5th when he died. Not quite sure if that's a success story though Were they from California? Because we knew a couple that did the same thing before the husband died of cancer. I know another couple that separated about the same time as my EX and I did (so around May 2008). They divorced, sold their house, were going about their merry way living their lives separately and then boom they started seeing eachother again and were back together by 2010 and they're still going strong today. On the other hand my EX and I discussed many times getting back together when we first separated, but he just wasn't willing to commit to just me (as in we agreed we were going to try working on our relationship the day before I went out of town with the kids--when I got back I found out he used the time we were gone to take his then "girlfriend" on one last romantic trip). 7 years later I'm glad that we didn't end up getting back together. While things aren't perfect, they are far better than they were when we were together. |
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Post by Zee on Apr 28, 2016 0:39:18 GMT
Thanks. Yah, it's been tough. I'm also finding my backbone now that I turned 50 last summer. No longer want to be a doormat to everyone. Unfortunately, everybody is used to that so if I cry foul, then I'm the bitch. Ok, whatever. I hope it works out the way you want it to also. Just make sure that it's your choice and that you're doing it for you. Originally, I did it for the kids so I don't regret that part but now I want it to be about me too.
Thank you. I also hear you about backbone. Its funny how things work out. DH always told me that I was my family's doormat. But I didn't believe him and we disagreed about it a lot. After this situation I have a backbone made of steel when it comes to my family. And I'm the bitch.
I left with the full intention of divorcing DH. Which is what everyone said I should do for me, as a strong woman who doesn't take any crap from anyone. But after the first few days (because we only didn't speak to each other for three days) I started to think not so fast. Then when I went to my first therapy session I realized that there were a lot of things that I was responsible for. Not to minimize the affair in any way, of course, but as my therapy sessions continued it occurred to me that I didn't want to throw in the towel. I didn't want to lose my marriage. For me. Not anyone else because for the most part I still get the look when I tell people that he cheated and I want to work things out.
My aunt gave me the best advice: it's YOUR marriage. It didn't have to be over if you don't want it to. You don't have to get a divorce just because everyone else thinks you should. And I can assure you, I'm definitely not a doormat! |
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Post by Linda on Apr 28, 2016 1:26:22 GMT
My late SIL married and divorced her 2nd husband 4 times and was in the process of divorcing him a 5th when he died. Not quite sure if that's a success story though Were they from California? Because we knew a couple that did the same thing before the husband died of cancer. I know another couple that separated about the same time as my EX and I did (so around May 2008). They divorced, sold their house, were going about their merry way living their lives separately and then boom they started seeing eachother again and were back together by 2010 and they're still going strong today. On the other hand my EX and I discussed many times getting back together when we first separated, but he just wasn't willing to commit to just me (as in we agreed we were going to try working on our relationship the day before I went out of town with the kids--when I got back I found out he used the time we were gone to take his then "girlfriend" on one last romantic trip). 7 years later I'm glad that we didn't end up getting back together. While things aren't perfect, they are far better than they were when we were together. No - not CA. Crazy though, isn't? I 've heard of people divorcing and then remarrying each other later but doing it over and over seems like at some point you would just figure it wasn't working |
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Post by fotos4u2 on Apr 28, 2016 1:57:24 GMT
No - not CA. Crazy though, isn't? I 've heard of people divorcing and then remarrying each other later but doing it over and over seems like at some point you would just figure it wasn't working It's also possible some people do better off not being married. My aunt is like that. She lived for probably 10 years with a guy before she married him. They were married 1 year before they divorced. They then got back together and lived together--unmarried--for another 5-10 years before finally breaking up. She's now been with her current significant other for over 20 years and have no interest in getting married. Of course no children were the product of either of those relationships which made it easier. |
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scrapaddie
Drama Llama
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Post by scrapaddie on Apr 28, 2016 2:53:22 GMT
We reconciled and had seven more years of marriage. It was really difficult because he had cheated. That naive trust cannot be recreated. I had no energy to try again the second time
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
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Post by luvnlifelady on Apr 28, 2016 3:19:52 GMT
We reconciled and had seven more years of marriage. It was really difficult because he had cheated. That naive trust cannot be recreated. I had no energy to try again the second time Sorry you had to go through that. I agree though. I was shocked as were most people. Never would've thought he could do that. I know I had a part in it too but still, that was just hard to take. Sorry that he did it a second time but good for you for moving on. |
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