freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927 
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Post by freebird on Apr 28, 2016 15:59:28 GMT
I bought something ridiculous for my husband and spent a lot of money. I'll be giving it to him next week as an early father's day gift and a "because you deserve it" gift. I broke our "$50 rule" (no one buys anything without letting the other one know) by like 30-fold.
He'll ask me how much I spent at some point I'm sure. Should I tell him?
ETA: My husband won't be mad at me for spending money. We share all our money but I do have an account where I put back X% of my earnings from photography for equipment, studio wants, etc. I had a lot in there and our taxes were less than I thought it would be (that never happens!) so I bought it for him as a thanks for him busting his ass this past year.
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Deleted
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Sept 29, 2024 10:18:37 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2016 16:02:05 GMT
He'll ask me how much I spent at some point I'm sure. Should I tell him? Nope don't tell. Tell him you love him and enjoyed buying something special for him. He doesn't need to know how much it was. If he insists distract him with the dirty sex  |
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
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Post by freebird on Apr 28, 2016 16:02:44 GMT
He'll ask me how much I spent at some point I'm sure. Should I tell him? Nope don't tell. Tell him you love him and enjoyed buying something special for him. He doesn't need to know how much it was. If he insists distract him with the dirty sex OK I LOL'd. You know me well. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 28, 2016 16:02:57 GMT
If you would expect the same level of disclosure from him, then you've got to tell him.
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anniebygaslight
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I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
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Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Apr 28, 2016 16:03:09 GMT
Nope.
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
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Post by freebird on Apr 28, 2016 16:10:51 GMT
If you would expect the same level of disclosure from him, then you've got to tell him. Christmas, etc is off the table purchasing gifts. We'll set a half-assed budget usually. |
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oldcrow
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Location: Ontario,Canada
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Post by oldcrow on Apr 28, 2016 16:11:11 GMT
My first instinct is to say no. But on the other hand if you took money from somewhere and it will be missed then maybe you should own up.
I am going to guess that the money you spent was your own. So if he asks you can explain to him that it is actually impolite to ask how much a gift cost. And since this is a gift that covers two things, Father's day and you deserve it, more than the budget could be spent.
Don't be surprised if at some time in the near future he over spends on something for you.
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Deleted
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Sept 29, 2024 10:18:37 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2016 16:11:40 GMT
I would. It is one thing if it is just a little over, but around $1500 is a lot more.
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Post by dewryce on Apr 28, 2016 16:12:21 GMT
I wouldn't lie, and if he absolutely insisted I would tell him. But I would say something along the lines of "I love you, I really want you to have this because you deserve it and I know it will make you happy, and it would mean a lot to me if you would accept it, enjoy it, and not ask me about the cost."
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Kerri W
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Location: Kentucky
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Post by Kerri W on Apr 28, 2016 16:13:53 GMT
I probably would. Is it something he could google and come up with the amount? I'd just tell him if the price is readily available. But then again...I don't get people getting upset about being asked the price of something that is general knowledge (like "how much is that shirt you bought at the Gap?")
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Deleted
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Sept 29, 2024 10:18:37 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2016 16:14:08 GMT
Whenever I get that question and I know the answer is "more than you wanted me to spend" I answer back with: "Do you *really* want to know? Because it's more than you'll be happy about." Sometimes he says, he still wants to know...other times, he just lets it go.
This came after years of nonsense around this kind of thing. I finally, one Christmas, told him that he had essentially ruined Christmas for me that year with his attitude. And he needed to knock it off. That year he got the message.
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MDscrapaholic
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Jun 25, 2014 20:49:07 GMT
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Post by MDscrapaholic on Apr 28, 2016 16:14:40 GMT
Would he really ask? He may know just by seeing the gift how much it costs. If he loves you, he'll give you a great big hug and say thank you and probably reciprocate somewhere down the line when you least expect it.
It's stuff like this that keeps a marriage going!
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Post by scrapmaven on Apr 28, 2016 16:19:22 GMT
We both know our finances inside and out. So, it would be almost impossible to hide the amount. However, it is a gift that you're giving out of love and I'm willing to bet he loves it and won't gawk at the price.
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Post by utmr on Apr 28, 2016 16:20:05 GMT
Our answer is $4. It's kind of our little joke, but it means "trust me you don't want to know." But we also know that the money came from discretionary spending, so it's not a crisis for us either way.
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
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Post by freebird on Apr 28, 2016 16:20:35 GMT
ETA: My husband won't be mad at me for spending money. We share all our money but I do have an account where I put back X% of my earnings from photography for equipment, studio wants, etc. I had a lot in there and our taxes were less than I thought it would be (that never happens!) so I bought it for him as a thanks for him busting his ass this past year.
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
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Post by freebird on Apr 28, 2016 16:22:10 GMT
Would he really ask? He may know just by seeing the gift how much it costs. If he loves you, he'll give you a great big hug and say thank you and probably reciprocate somewhere down the line when you least expect it. It's stuff like this that keeps a marriage going! I think he will mainly out of curiosity because I've seen him looking at said items before online. |
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Deleted
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Sept 29, 2024 10:18:37 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2016 16:24:45 GMT
tell him you got it at a garage sale
then distract him with dirty sex
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ginacivey
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refupea #2 in southeast missouri
Posts: 4,685
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Post by ginacivey on Apr 28, 2016 16:27:25 GMT
what was it and how much did you spend?
just cos i am nosy - but you already know that about me!
gina
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Post by 2peafaithful on Apr 28, 2016 16:53:15 GMT
We handled money like you shared in your OP. We don't make big purchases without at least a text or quick call or conversation.
Since it was money that you had set aside I wouldn't tell if asked unless he really wanted to know. If saying something like, you know I set some money aside for different things I will need for my business or studio and I had enough cushion in that to spend some on something else really meaningful.
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smcast
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Post by smcast on Apr 28, 2016 16:54:29 GMT
I would say, "no where near what you are worth." Gift prices are off limits in my mind. I don't like to get into the feeling of competing with gift amounts. Thought that counts.
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Post by scrapbookwriter on Apr 28, 2016 17:09:05 GMT
I have responded to that question with, "I found a really good deal." DH likes knowing I got a good deal nearly as much as he likes the gift itself.
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Post by papersilly on Apr 28, 2016 17:12:02 GMT
if he asked, I would tell him. DH and I always ask each other how much something costs and no one take offense at being asked.
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Deleted
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Sept 29, 2024 10:18:37 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2016 17:23:19 GMT
I have responded to that question with, "I found a really good deal." DH likes knowing I got a good deal nearly as much as he likes the gift itself. That is me too... my best gift ever was a Kitchen Aid mixer in bright yellow (now my favorite kitchen color)....he got that color because it was discounted off the regular price. It made me so happy that he considered me in multiple ways! I got an amazing mixer and he didn't blow the budget too much. |
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Deleted
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Sept 29, 2024 10:18:37 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2016 17:59:29 GMT
I'd tell him. Not because I think he'd be upset, but more so because it doesn't sound like money being spent is a big secret between the two of you.
He will have a good idea anyway of what you spent if he's been eyeing it online so I don't see the big deal in saying what the amount was.
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Post by myboysnme on Apr 28, 2016 18:11:59 GMT
Tell him you spend $50 cash and the rest you paid by standing on the street corner soliciting and would he like you to show him.
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zztop11
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by zztop11 on Apr 28, 2016 18:51:05 GMT
Peas need to know. What did you buy him?
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Deleted
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Sept 29, 2024 10:18:37 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2016 18:57:54 GMT
I would say fifty billionty dollars. That's my standard answer.
This thread is useless without pictures.
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
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Post by freebird on Apr 28, 2016 19:01:50 GMT
Peas need to know. What did you buy him? fancy smanchy watch. |
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Deleted
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Sept 29, 2024 10:18:37 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2016 19:29:23 GMT
Oh, guys love a big ass blingy watch! Good for yiu!
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scrappyesq
Pearl Clutcher
You have always been a part of the heist. You're only mad now because you don't like your cut.
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Post by scrappyesq on Apr 28, 2016 19:34:06 GMT
That is a question I never answer, LOL!  |
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