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Post by cmhs on Apr 29, 2016 12:04:46 GMT
Saying it here because:
a) DS asked me not to say anything to teacher/principal
and
b) I work for the school district so technically, teacher and I are coworkers even though we aren't in the same building. Her boss is also my boss.
Last night, DS (grade 6) told me that he was sitting in math class yesterday waiting for class to start. A girl in his class walked into the room and shoved him with both hands hard enough to knock him out of his seat and onto the floor. Teacher walks in while he is still on the floor (she didn't see the shove) and says to DS, you're OK. ETA: all the other boys in the class told the teacher when she walked into the room. Nothing is said to the girl who shoved him. I'm just pissed that the teacher is blind when it comes to this girl's actions. DS says she is teacher's pet and because this is a small town and everybody knows everybody's business, I believe it.
DS is a good student -- has never been in trouble in school, knows to respect his teachers and behave himself in school. I've always drilled it into my kids that being a good student and behaving at school is their job. I get it that not every teacher is going to love my kid and think he's the best student they've ever had the pleasure to teach, but come on, use common sense and don't let this girl get away with physical violence just because you think she's awesome. GRRRRRR.
Thanks for letting me vent here -- I had to get it off my chest.
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tincin
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,378
Jul 25, 2014 4:55:32 GMT
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Post by tincin on Apr 29, 2016 12:10:41 GMT
That would anger me too. If the situation were reversed I'm betting something would be said. Quite honestly I would stop by and talk with the teacher, find out what her reason was for not disciplining the girl. I would also let her know I expect it to be handled differently should it happen again.
Then again I am also the mom who told her sons who came with a similar story minus the teacher, that they should tell the girl the next day that I had given them permission to hit her back should it happen again. Both of them reported that the girl was shocked their mother had said it was okay. It didn't happen again.
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Post by Merge on Apr 29, 2016 12:18:22 GMT
That sounds frustrating. I'm sorry your DS was upset.
That said, I'll just throw in that if I wrote up every middle school student who shoved another middle school student ... well, that's all I'd do. These are immature kids who don't express their feelings properly. They sometimes get inappropriately physical with each other. It ramps up a lot this time of year.
Generally speaking, if it's not a pattern of behavior directed at one individual, and no one was injured, we expect the kid to shake it off and move on. I know that's not what parents want to hear, but that's how it is, at least at my school. Like parents, we choose our battles, and kids pushing each other around is generally not a hill we choose to die on.
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JustTricia
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,842
Location: Indianapolis
Jul 2, 2014 17:12:39 GMT
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Post by JustTricia on Apr 29, 2016 12:19:58 GMT
If he was on the floor when the teacher walked in, how was the teacher to know he didn't fall out of his chair himself (we've all missed a chair in our life and either fallen or almost fallen). How was the teacher made aware the girl shoved him?
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Post by cmhs on Apr 29, 2016 12:26:29 GMT
That sounds frustrating. I'm sorry your DS was upset. That said, I'll just throw in that if I wrote up every middle school student who shoved another middle school student ... well, that's all I'd do. These are immature kids who don't express their feelings properly. They sometimes get inappropriately physical with each other. It ramps up a lot this time of year. Generally speaking, if it's not a pattern of behavior directed at one individual, and no one was injured, we expect the kid to shake it off and move on. I know that's not what parents want to hear, but that's how it is, at least at my school. Like parents, we choose our battles, and kids pushing each other around is generally not a hill we choose to die on. I totally get what you're saying and I agree. He's not a shrinking violet and he will be fine. We were actually laughing by the end of our conversation on how he should handle the situation should it happen again. Rolling around on the floor screaming in feigned agony was one of the options
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 29, 2024 10:26:49 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2016 12:28:46 GMT
Haven't read all the responses, but would like to ask you to think about it from a different perspective. I was that girl in 7th grade and the same thing happened, except the boy was the son of the HS principal (who later went on to be the superintendent). He was super-protected by his dad (and got "pushed" into advanced classes by dad but didn't meet the testing requirements, etc). So he never got into trouble for his behavior. I got totally tired of his picking on me so one day when the teacher left the classroom and I literally slapped him hard enough that he was holding back tears. Just once, but it shocked the heck out of him. While other students saw it, not one of them told on me.
So there just might be a bit more to the story than you are being told. It's hard to have it happen, but I have to wonder what provoked it. Is this girl known for episodes like this? I sure wasn't. I was the goody-two-shoes who never broke a rule, never talked back to a teacher, always got straight A's, etc.
eta: another thought...I wonder if this girl is seeking his attention and secretly has a crush on him?
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Post by Really Red on Apr 29, 2016 12:35:55 GMT
I don't quite understand. Did you expect the teacher to ask your son how he got on the floor? If she saw it, I don't care if she's writing up 100 of these a day, it needs to be written up. If she didn't see it and he didn't tell her, I'm not sure what you expect?
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Post by cmhs on Apr 29, 2016 12:58:39 GMT
Haven't read all the responses, but would like to ask you to think about it from a different perspective. I was that girl in 7th grade and the same thing happened, except the boy was the son of the HS principal (who later went on to be the superintendent). He was super-protected by his dad (and got "pushed" into advanced classes by dad but didn't meet the testing requirements, etc). So he never got into trouble for his behavior. I got totally tired of his picking on me so one day when the teacher left the classroom and I literally slapped him hard enough that he was holding back tears. Just once, but it shocked the heck out of him. While other students saw it, not one of them told on me.
So there just might be a bit more to the story than you are being told. It's hard to have it happen, but I have to wonder what provoked it. Is this girl known for episodes like this? I sure wasn't. I was the goody-two-shoes who never broke a rule, never talked back to a teacher, always got straight A's, etc.
eta: another thought...I wonder if this girl is seeking his attention and secretly has a crush on him? I bolded the last line because that is a more likely scenario.
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Post by cmhs on Apr 29, 2016 13:00:39 GMT
I don't quite understand. Did you expect the teacher to ask your son how he got on the floor? If she saw it, I don't care if she's writing up 100 of these a day, it needs to be written up. If she didn't see it and he didn't tell her, I'm not sure what you expect? Honestly, I'm not sure what I expect either. That's why I'm venting here -- so I don't fly off the handle and say something I will regret.
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Post by debmast on Apr 29, 2016 13:11:28 GMT
I can't tell from the OP, but did he actually TELL the teacher it happened?
Or did he not because he thinks the girl is "teacher's pet" and that nothing would happen anyway? <-------- if this, and if everyone has that same mentality, this may be why this girl acts this way. She knows no one is going to say anything.
Our school (I work at a JH) has a zero tolerance policy for stuff like this. If the student doesn't want to "tattle" to the teacher, we have forms called Safety Net that they fill out, put inside a specially designated locker, and then the counselors get them. The counselors talk to the students individually and try to determine what is going on.
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Post by cmhs on Apr 29, 2016 16:08:03 GMT
If he was on the floor when the teacher walked in, how was the teacher to know he didn't fall out of his chair himself (we've all missed a chair in our life and either fallen or almost fallen). How was the teacher made aware the girl shoved him? Every boy in the class told her when she walked into the room.
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Post by cmhs on Apr 29, 2016 16:09:01 GMT
I can't tell from the OP, but did he actually TELL the teacher it happened? Or did he not because he thinks the girl is "teacher's pet" and that nothing would happen anyway? <-------- if this, and if everyone has that same mentality, this may be why this girl acts this way. She knows no one is going to say anything. Our school (I work at a JH) has a zero tolerance policy for stuff like this. If the student doesn't want to "tattle" to the teacher, we have forms called Safety Net that they fill out, put inside a specially designated locker, and then the counselors get them. The counselors talk to the students individually and try to determine what is going on. Every other boy in the class told the teacher what happened. We also have a zero tolerance policy.
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Post by 950nancy on Apr 29, 2016 17:41:55 GMT
I had an aggressive girl a few years ago who was just like this. She was very smart and all sunshine and rainbows. Every single teacher knew her mode of operation. What everyone did not know was that she was punished and was written up (but covered for herself so well she made others believe she was never in trouble). It killed me not to be able to tell the other parents that I knew and that she was actually punished. She had a pretty aggressive mom and came by it honestly. In junior high, she did end up getting herself into quite a bit of trouble. In exchange for not saying anything to the teacher, perhaps you could have a discussion with him about what he could do next time or how he could handle himself so he felt more in control. My guess was the teacher was trying to help him save face with the situation in front of his peers. Too bad she didn't talk to him about it privately after class.
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