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Post by gypsymama on Apr 30, 2016 19:36:38 GMT
my friend's dh has uncontrolled diabetes and can't have actual intercourse but in the meantime he absolutely refuses to do anything"else", and she is about to die from lack of intimacy and affection. and he never considers that even tho his equipment isn't working, she still has needs!
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Post by canadianscrappergirl on Apr 30, 2016 23:55:48 GMT
Haha not the Canadians I hang with. I really miss sex but I miss the closeness and intimacy and caring most. Can't remember the last time I was kissed on the lips or got a hug or snuggle. Damn it's pitiful. Yes, pitiful is a good word for it. It is not all that much fun having only a roommate for a partner. Yes in my mind it is how I think of him for the most part. |
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Post by Mary W on May 1, 2016 0:24:27 GMT
I wonder how many people over age 50 and married more than 20 years still do it 3-4 times a week or more. I mean if you do, good for you, but if you had asked me this question when I was younger, healthier, still ovulating, in better physical shape and DH was the same other than ovulating, obviously, my answer would be very different. It's not unusual when you are somewhat newlyweds or in a dating situation, young and attractive and so is your spouse, that you would gravitate toward more frequent sex. I'm surprised at all the zero answers given the diversity of age and marital status of those of us on the board. It's an interesting question but people have different reasons for having sex or not having sex. I think age and length of marriage does increase or decrease sex frequency overall for the majority. But hey, maybe I'm wrong. I voted for 7, and it relates to the above statement! DH and I have been married for 32 years, we are both 54, and in good health. We retired a year ago, moved out of the stressful city, and now feel like we have a renewal of life! We are stress free, active, and are enjoying a very full sex life! It wasn't always like this, of course. But we are an example of getting better with age! We have friends our age who have non-existent sex lives. But they are still working, have stressful situations with their adult kids, and are in poorer health. It all contributes to a lack of interest, drive, etc. |
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Post by pmm on May 1, 2016 0:33:05 GMT
Being single really sucks! I miss the intimacy and closeness of being in a relationship. Kissing, oh how I miss kissing! I miss having someone to talk about my day with and the ins and outs of life.
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Post by 950nancy on May 1, 2016 1:29:11 GMT
Two are available to her for certain. |
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Post by 950nancy on May 1, 2016 1:32:18 GMT
Oh and we don't lay a towel down before we go for it  Wha???  I am seeing a new survey idea! And for those that don't, who gets the wet spot? |
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428 
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Post by luvnlifelady on May 1, 2016 2:00:49 GMT
Haha not the Canadians I hang with. I really miss sex but I miss the closeness and intimacy and caring most. Can't remember the last time I was kissed on the lips or got a hug or snuggle. Damn it's pitiful. Yes, pitiful is a good word for it. It is not all that much fun having only a roommate for a partner. Here, here. I made dinner last night, got ingredients for a drink that I made for him and we went upstairs for a movie. I tried cuddling with him but to no avail. Ugh. We have a marriage workshop coming up in June and it may be my last gasp. I haven't been really kissed in God only knows how long. |
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
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Post by luvnlifelady on May 1, 2016 2:01:50 GMT
Being single really sucks! I miss the intimacy and closeness of being in a relationship. Kissing, oh how I miss kissing! I miss having someone to talk about my day with and the ins and outs of life. In and outs of life? Isn't that appropriate for this thread! |
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
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Post by luvnlifelady on May 1, 2016 2:10:12 GMT
Wow, the non'ers (not noon'ers) really have me surprised. I wonder too if anyone's libido went crazy when they turned 50 like mine did? I have since heard that women experience something similar to a second puberty. Who knew?
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Post by canadianscrappergirl on May 1, 2016 2:51:47 GMT
Wow, the non'ers (not noon'ers) really have me surprised. I wonder too if anyone's libido went crazy when they turned 50 like mine did? I have since heard that women experience something similar to a second puberty. Who knew? In my case my hubby was in his early 40s so not sure what his reason is. I think a lot of it is he is not attracted to me anymore. I sometimes want to ask but I am afraid of what his reasons are. He only ever kisses me on the cheek no matter what and those times are usually at Christmas, anniversary and my birthday. He went on a 12 day trip last week sadly the dogs got more love then me when he left. Can't even look forward to been away from you sex when he gets back next week. |
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Post by canadianscrappergirl on May 1, 2016 2:54:14 GMT
Wow, the non'ers (not noon'ers) really have me surprised. I wonder too if anyone's libido went crazy when they turned 50 like mine did? I have since heard that women experience something similar to a second puberty. Who knew? My answer is more lack of libedo for him. I think mine has increased but it could just be because I gave missed sex for so many years. In all honesty I think about it at least 10 times a day. |
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Post by canadianscrappergirl on May 1, 2016 3:02:46 GMT
Yes, pitiful is a good word for it. It is not all that much fun having only a roommate for a partner. Here, here. I made dinner last night, got ingredients for a drink that I made for him and we went upstairs for a movie. I tried cuddling with him but to no avail. Ugh. We have a marriage workshop coming up in June and it may be my last gasp. I haven't been really kissed in God only knows how long. Sorry for your situation that has to be tough. I hope your workshop helps! I got tired of being shut down so I don't try to cuddle/tickle/hug. It's like an elephant in the room we both know it's there but we both avoid addressing it. |
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
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Post by luvnlifelady on May 1, 2016 3:08:40 GMT
Here, here. I made dinner last night, got ingredients for a drink that I made for him and we went upstairs for a movie. I tried cuddling with him but to no avail. Ugh. We have a marriage workshop coming up in June and it may be my last gasp. I haven't been really kissed in God only knows how long. Sorry for your situation that has to be tough. I hope your workshop helps! I got tired of being shut down so I don't try to cuddle/tickle/hug. It's like an elephant in the room we both know it's there but we both avoid addressing it. Sorry to hear another person going through the same thing. The cat seriously got more attention from him last night than I did. We get along great as friends but he better step it up a notch. Not sure how much longer I can stand of this. |
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Post by canadianscrappergirl on May 1, 2016 3:38:29 GMT
Sorry for your situation that has to be tough. I hope your workshop helps! I got tired of being shut down so I don't try to cuddle/tickle/hug. It's like an elephant in the room we both know it's there but we both avoid addressing it. Sorry to hear another person going through the same thing. The cat seriously got more attention from him last night than I did. We get along great as friends but he better step it up a notch. Not sure how much longer I can stand of this. Yeah I am jealous of my dogs. We are friends but he has made some decisions and choices that have really pissed me off. There is also a set of rules for him and another for me. Add this to no sex/affection and romance and I am really wondering what I am here for. I am lonely. We don't do a lot of stuff together. He works 7 days a week and is in bed most nights by 8. I have 28 yrs invested but as our kids get older I wonder what will happen with us once they leave home, our youngest graduates this year. My self esteem is in the toilet. I get told by my friends I am pretty but I don't feel like I am. He never notices when I take extra efforts to make myself look nice or even when I get my hair done. I just don't feel like I have anything to look forward to. I feel like my life is passing me by and I need to make some changes just not sure what they are. |
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on May 1, 2016 11:36:38 GMT
Being single really sucks! I miss the intimacy and closeness of being in a relationship. Kissing, oh how I miss kissing! I miss having someone to talk about my day with and the ins and outs of life. I agree. It's the first time since I was a teenager that I've been celibate. It's lonely. |
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by luvnlifelady on May 1, 2016 12:23:08 GMT
Sorry to hear another person going through the same thing. The cat seriously got more attention from him last night than I did. We get along great as friends but he better step it up a notch. Not sure how much longer I can stand of this. Yeah I am jealous of my dogs. We are friends but he has made some decisions and choices that have really pissed me off. There is also a set of rules for him and another for me. Add this to no sex/affection and romance and I am really wondering what I am here for. I am lonely. We don't do a lot of stuff together. He works 7 days a week and is in bed most nights by 8. I have 28 yrs invested but as our kids get older I wonder what will happen with us once they leave home, our youngest graduates this year. My self esteem is in the toilet. I get told by my friends I am pretty but I don't feel like I am. He never notices when I take extra efforts to make myself look nice or even when I get my hair done. I just don't feel like I have anything to look forward to. I feel like my life is passing me by and I need to make some changes just not sure what they are. Sounds like you and I are in the same boat as I'm sure many women are as they get older (and men as well). Kids need us less (although I thought we launched one and she is returning in 2 weeks) and we look to our spouse to fill the time void but they are unavailable or unwilling to do it. Not sure what the answer is but I don't want to invest/waste too much more time on this "project." Divorce isn't really a viable option for many reasons but I need to see about things. |
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paget
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,027
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:39 GMT
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Post by paget on May 1, 2016 14:11:23 GMT
The poll options were not really for my situation. Monthly would have been better- lots of times I don't have sex in a week but another week I will do 2-3 days. My cycle, how tired I am from school and work and life my feelings about dh really affect my number.
Also, I didn't like how the none option had an unhappy face - I am the one in my relationship who "decides" how much- dh is always game. The unhappy face is a judgment that no sex/less sex is bad and maybe it is not for that person.
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Post by pmm on May 1, 2016 14:13:47 GMT
Being single really sucks! I miss the intimacy and closeness of being in a relationship. Kissing, oh how I miss kissing! I miss having someone to talk about my day with and the ins and outs of life. In and outs of life? Isn't that appropriate for this thread! LOL! It was unintentional at the time I posted! |
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oldcrow
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,828
Location: Ontario,Canada
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Post by oldcrow on May 1, 2016 17:26:17 GMT
Yeah I am jealous of my dogs. We are friends but he has made some decisions and choices that have really pissed me off. There is also a set of rules for him and another for me. Add this to no sex/affection and romance and I am really wondering what I am here for. I am lonely. We don't do a lot of stuff together. He works 7 days a week and is in bed most nights by 8. I have 28 yrs invested but as our kids get older I wonder what will happen with us once they leave home, our youngest graduates this year. My self esteem is in the toilet. I get told by my friends I am pretty but I don't feel like I am. He never notices when I take extra efforts to make myself look nice or even when I get my hair done. I just don't feel like I have anything to look forward to. I feel like my life is passing me by and I need to make some changes just not sure what they are. Sounds like you and I are in the same boat as I'm sure many women are as they get older (and men as well). Kids need us less (although I thought we launched one and she is returning in 2 weeks) and we look to our spouse to fill the time void but they are unavailable or unwilling to do it. Not sure what the answer is but I don't want to invest/waste too much more time on this "project." Divorce isn't really a viable option for many reasons but I need to see about things. There was a time when if someone had mentioned an open marriage I would have been shocked and appalled but now I'm not so sure. |
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
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Post by luvnlifelady on May 1, 2016 18:43:15 GMT
Sounds like you and I are in the same boat as I'm sure many women are as they get older (and men as well). Kids need us less (although I thought we launched one and she is returning in 2 weeks) and we look to our spouse to fill the time void but they are unavailable or unwilling to do it. Not sure what the answer is but I don't want to invest/waste too much more time on this "project." Divorce isn't really a viable option for many reasons but I need to see about things. There was a time when if someone had mentioned an open marriage I would have been shocked and appalled but now I'm not so sure. Glad you said it first because I have thought about it. A girl can only take so much but leaving is not always an option either. |
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