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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on May 30, 2016 12:15:39 GMT
This falls for me into the category of "not for me," but others can "do as they please."
I do not like to see bra straps, sides, etc under clothing. I take care to buy undergarments that eliminate that possibility for various items of clothing.
You? (general you) You can wear whatever you want.
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pridemom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,843 
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Post by pridemom on May 30, 2016 12:16:06 GMT
I worked in social service that helped people with resumes and other job seeker services. One of the big issues with women was actually undergarments. We all know how expensive bras are, particularly ones for larger breasted women, and if you are financially struggling, bras can be almost cost prohibitive. Having a wardrobe of bras for different types of clothing just wasn't happening. Having a good one that kept things in place was a constant battle. We gave Walmart cards to help, but as we all know, they are limited in their size offerings. I think sometimes what we see when we see visible bras is an extension of that-people who are wearing what they have in order to attempt to keep things tidy, but not always invisible. Agreed. The bra I prefer runs $40. Just to keep the girls high and dry. As for the original topic. My teen daughters and myself don't want their bras showing, thankfully. Each dd has 1-2 strapless bras. I just don't wear something if bra shows. No one wants to see my bra, especially me. |
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Loydene
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Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico
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Post by Loydene on May 30, 2016 13:37:51 GMT
My intent was to provide a descriptive picture of a situation. If I offended you in providing an illustration or hyperbole for interest, ie: "of color" "larger" "no longer young" "52DD", I apologize as that was not my intent, but also suggest you probably need to get thicker skin. Description is not, necessarily, judgment.
And - I fully support any of you who suggest you wear and show what you wish. I understand. I won't hear high heels any more as comfortable feet are of greater priority to me.
But the question was intended to be one of "fashion" and "standards" -- and some of the answers seem to reflect that "fashion" permits showing off of underwear - fuschia bra under new sundress. While I no longer wear high heels, I still wear normally acceptable to the situation shoes -- I'm not wearing flip flops in court (and I certainly wish I could wear my $120.00 FitFlops in court - they are like walking on a cloud!) I was making an inquiry as to what is generally a fashionable standard of ladies underwear showing. I am of the time where we would safety pin bra straps in place -- so racer back shirts with regular bra straps is just jarring.
And, there is the provocative element of "not wearing underwear" -- that may be specific to my younger years. No straps or underwear bits showing might imply the "raciness" of "going comando" under your clothing!
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Post by jackie on May 30, 2016 14:27:17 GMT
Every time this topic comes up I mention Sexton and the City. You only have to look at about half of what Carrie Bradshaw wore to know that letting your bra show is sometimes a fashion statement or just something that at the very least, some people just don't get all uptight about. I get that it might not be for everyobe (it's certainly not for me either) but some people seem to look at everything that isn't for them through such a negative and judgmental eye.
I will say that my 17 year old dd definitely is fine with her bra showing and she has many pretty and colorful ones. Sometimes I can't get past my old school ideas of bras not showing at all and sometimes I actually admire her for not being uptight about that and SOMETIMES I think it looks really cute.
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basketdiva
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Post by basketdiva on May 30, 2016 14:59:18 GMT
And this reminds me of a story -- which I am totally certain is a fashion "don't" A larger, no longer young, woman of color was in court wearing a tube top long dress. It was an acceptable dress for a picnic or a beach, but probably not so much for court. But the really eye popping aspect of the ensemble was the black lace, 52 DDD regular bra totally showing since it is worn with the tube top. Can I ask what her being a woman "of color" has to do with anything? Would it have been better, or worse, if she were white? My question too. |
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Post by cindyupnorth on May 30, 2016 15:48:26 GMT
I don't think it's laziness as much as not giving a fuck and that's a sentiment I can get behind. It's definitely not that either. They Do give a fuck. But it's a FU I will wear what I want and feel good about it attitude. |
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Post by annabella on May 30, 2016 15:49:25 GMT
My mom sews in bra hooks into my shirts so the strap never falls down.
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Post by MsChiff on May 30, 2016 17:49:14 GMT
And this reminds me of a story -- which I am totally certain is a fashion "don't" A larger, no longer young, woman of color was in court wearing a tube top long dress. It was an acceptable dress for a picnic or a beach, but probably not so much for court. But the really eye popping aspect of the ensemble was the black lace, 52 DDD regular bra totally showing since it is worn with the tube top. Can I ask what her being a woman "of color" has to do with anything? Would it have been better, or worse, if she were white? I think it would have been worse as a black bra would stand out much more against white skin than black skin.
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Post by gar on May 30, 2016 22:10:40 GMT
Can I ask what her being a woman "of color" has to do with anything? Would it have been better, or worse, if she were white? My question too. Read the whole thread - she answered that question. |
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by rickmer on May 30, 2016 22:42:41 GMT
i wear sloppy neck batwing kinda shirts off one shoulder and my bra strap shows. at the office. and i am in my mid-40s. i don't see it as any different than a tank top strap showing. but i would think someone's thong showing was a bit too much. i admit i have never really seen the tube top over a regular ole bra before. i can't see that being attractive... so maybe that makes me a hypocrite.  |
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Post by melanell on May 31, 2016 1:19:07 GMT
This is one of many, many situations where I don't want to do something (have my bra strap showing) but I don't care at all if someone else does it.
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Post by Zee on May 31, 2016 1:29:19 GMT
In casual wear, I don't care, but if I know a strap might show (tank top) I'll have on a bright colored bra that doesn't look like plain underwear. I'm also knew that wears leggings as pants, though I keep my midriff covered. I'm quite casual most of the time.
I'd never have straps showing in a professional or dressy setting.
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Post by compwalla on May 31, 2016 3:22:56 GMT
Mostly I think life is short and you should wear whatever you want. #fuckthehaters
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mallie
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Post by mallie on May 31, 2016 11:32:52 GMT
What is the current fashion "do or don't" on regular - not sports bra - but a "regular" bra showing. I see young women, who appear to be well dressed, with all sort of lingerie type bras showing -- everything -- straps, certainly, but also an open back blouse/shirt with the back strap showing. It always gives me a start and and I think they should cover up their underwear! And this reminds me of a story -- which I am totally certain is a fashion "don't" A larger, no longer young, woman of color was in court wearing a tube top long dress. It was an acceptable dress for a picnic or a beach, but probably not so much for court. But the really eye popping aspect of the ensemble was the black lace, 52 DDD regular bra totally showing since it is worn with the tube top. I have seen bra straps showing as a normal thing for over 20 years. Not new at all. |
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raindancer
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Post by raindancer on May 31, 2016 11:33:11 GMT
Don't. It just means the person is too lazy to find the correct undergarment for the outfit. I don't think it's laziness as much as not giving a fuck and that's a sentiment I can get behind. I told my 14yo her straps were showing. She said in a mocking shocked way was "oh no! Someone might find out I'm a girl and wear a bra!" Then she laughed. I did too. |
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Post by anxiousmom on May 31, 2016 11:50:38 GMT
I was thinking about this last night. My older son is one of those kids that has a runners build-tall, very defined muscles but not in any way bulky and slender. He has always been difficult to fit-slender to the point of having difficulty finding bottoms to fit his height. (In basic training he was allowed extra calories because of his body fat ratio.) I spent YEARS telling that kid to pull up his pants because I didn't want to see the top of his boxers. Even with belts on his pants rode very low on his (non-existent) hips.
I find it interesting that we all have different opinions on whether or not we are okay with bra straps, but almost universally have issues with seeing boy's/men's undergarments.
Not sure if I have an actual point, just general musing last night as I was wondering why we have a 'wear what you want' attitude for bras, but a 'pull your damn pants up' attitude for boxers.
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schizo319
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by schizo319 on May 31, 2016 11:51:00 GMT
The only time I really worry about my bra showing is when I'm at work. Any other time, I just don't give a shit. Though I would draw the line at strapless with a regular bra, but I'm not comfortable in anything strapless anyway. I work with a girl who's quite well endowed and wears strapless dresses to work with a regular bra, but she always has a cardigan on over top so nothing shows.
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Post by Merge on May 31, 2016 12:02:31 GMT
I don't think it's laziness as much as not giving a fuck and that's a sentiment I can get behind. I told my 14yo her straps were showing. She said in a mocking shocked way was "oh no! Someone might find out I'm a girl and wear a bra!" Then she laughed. I did too. This. I find that the current generation of girls is also very aware of/sensitive to the sexism of school dress codes and even society's expectations - and prepared to fight against it or defy it. They're not going to burn their bras like my mother's generation did - but they're also not going to hide the "shocking" fact that they have one on. I think this attitude coupled with a general body positivity among teens - they don't feel the need to cover up every bump and curve like my generation did/does - is overall a positive one. |
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Post by sudie on May 31, 2016 14:03:59 GMT
I don't let mine show, certainly not a very obvious back strap with a low back dress or anything like that. Strangely my younger DD thinks the same as me and has a variety of bras, straps, stick-ons etc to suit various outfits but my eldest (24)doesn't seem to mind if her bra shows. Certainly as a 34E there's no way I'm going to go without decent support and those bras are more like scaffolding than romantic wisps of lace but maybe if I had my DD's perky 34Bs I'd feel differently  Yeah, I sometimes wish I was on the smaller side so I could buy some of those really cute lacy bras rather than the "scaffolding" I need. |
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Post by chances on May 31, 2016 20:35:54 GMT
There is also the fact that a lot of clothing can just not be worn without a bra showing. I don't care what others wear, but I have been so irritated because I can't buy an f'in shirt or dress without a huge hole in the back.
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RedSquirrelUK
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Post by RedSquirrelUK on May 31, 2016 21:20:44 GMT
The odd peek of a renegade strap where an attempt has been made to hide it doesn't bother me, but I don't like seeing other people's bras. I try very hard not to show my own. Ditto with knickers - I don't want to see men's shorts tops or women's thong tops. No apologies - if I can either see your underwear, or I can tell that you're not wearing any, I AM judging you.
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Post by refugeepea on May 31, 2016 21:45:27 GMT
I'm undecided. I guess old habits die hard. It bothers me a bit when my bra strap shows. Yet, if I see it on other people, I don't care. I can't wrap my head around the bralette thing. I have a flat chest and don't see how that could ever be flattering on my body. Even if I were to try something over it instead of wearing it outright with a high waisted something. Yes, went on pinterest and googled bralette outfits! It probably helps to be skinny too. I was raised Mormon, so I have all kinds of weird modesty issues. Most people wouldn't think exposing your shoulders is wrong  |
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