|
|
Post by Belia on Aug 2, 2014 1:15:33 GMT
Because, lord help me, I feel like I need to get my first grader his own cell phone UNLESS one of you smart women can help me solve this problem.
And trust me, I am so embarrassed to even be considering this in the first place. I just got my first smart phone and sent my first text message ever about 4 months ago, so please believe me when I say I am NOT a tech crazy person.
I get out of work at either 2:15 or 2:25 depending on the day. DS gets out of school at 2:55 each day. *If* I leave work perfectly on time, and *if* I don't run into any major traffic snarls, I will be at his school to pick him up on time. I did quite a few practice runs last spring, and believe it or not it is very doable. I've never run into traffic, but anything's possible.
And, you never know when I'll get stuck at work for a few minutes. That scenario is much more likely.
So, basically, I feel like I need to be able to tell my kid at the very last minute whether to look for me at pickup, or go to the after school program. Plus, there will be some days where I KNOW I'll have a meeting or something, where he'll be going to the after school program for sure. I don't trust his little 6-year-old brain to be able to keep track of that schedule.
I feel like the perfect solution would be a BARE BONES cell phone of some kind that he keeps in his backpack. That can only receive text messages, and maybe be pre-programmed to dial out one or two phone numbers only. That's all. That way, I can send him a text message at 2:45 each day telling him where to go after school (car line or after school program). if I KNOW I have a meeting or something, then I could send that text message first thing in the morning so it's saved in the phone. But if the plan is for me to pick him up on time, I would be able to confirm after I make sure I get out of the building on time and get through traffic.
i thought of attaching a note or something to his backpack each day, but unless I date each one he might get mixed up about which note applies to each day. Plus, that would not account for unexpected delays in my travel.
i don't think it's fair for me to try and message the teacher, because she'll have enough on her plate, that's not her job, and what if there's a sub or something. Same thing with trying to involve office staff- they have an entire school to take care of, not just my kid.
I don't want to just sign him up for the after school program as a default, because that would cost a whole bunch of money for something that 95% of the time I won't even need.
Is there another solution that I'm not seeing? Seriously, I do NOT want to get my kid a phone.
And do any of you have young kids with their own cell phone? If so, does a very basic, limited phone like the one I described even exist? I looked into the Jitterbug, but that doesn't seem to do text messages.
Thank you for helping me to think this through!
|
|
|
|
Post by ihaveonly1l on Aug 2, 2014 1:28:58 GMT
When my kids were little we had two carabiner clip that I kept by the door for going out in the morning. One said, "Bus" one said "Grandma". I would clip the right one to the zipper clip on their backpacks, so they would know where to go at the end of the day. If pick up changed, we had to call school within 15 minutes of the end of the day and then they would send "change" slips around.
I'm a teacher and my school also uses "change" slips- about 5 minutes before the bell, any changes come around on little slips.
I'd try the backpack clips and call school and see if they do something similar for those last minute meetings.
I would highly discourage the cell phone.
|
|
|
|
Post by momofkandn on Aug 2, 2014 1:35:45 GMT
What is the school's policy if you are late? Is the after care in the same building? At my daughters' school, car riders would be sent to the after care program if the parents didn't show up by a certain time. And then the school charged them for that day.
|
|
J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
|
Post by J u l e e on Aug 2, 2014 1:38:07 GMT
Is there not a teacher assigned to car line duty? At my daughter's school a teacher stayed with the kids being picked up until car line was over. Any kids that had not been picked up were taken in to the extended care room until a parent showed up.
|
|
|
|
Post by freecharlie on Aug 2, 2014 1:40:51 GMT
My oldest got his first phone when he was 8. He walked home with a group from the neighborhood to our house, but DH would still be asleep. He'd call me from his dad's phone and forget to put it back. Since it was also dh alarm, that didn't work well.
I don't think we sent it to school with him though.
Ds' s elementary school calls the classroom just before dismissal and let's the teacher and students know any changes
|
|
|
|
Post by Basket1lady on Aug 2, 2014 1:48:32 GMT
I like the carabiner idea. When Dd was in kindergarten, sometimes she would ride the bus and sometimes I would pick her up. I used a laminated card in her folder with a bus or a car to remind her how she was getting home. But if the school doesn't have a folde system, I like the carabiner idea.
|
|
theshyone
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,423 
|
Post by theshyone on Aug 2, 2014 1:51:56 GMT
At his age I'd pay for child care. There are too many ifs in the scenarios you quote.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 8:24:02 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 2, 2014 1:56:02 GMT
It assumes that your child will be able to keep up with a cell phone, that it won't get stolen/broken/etc. And that he will be allowed to get it out and check for a message at the end of every day.
Instead I would talk to the school and ask what they think. I suspect they have been in this situation many times.
I actually did the very same thing you are thinking about -- left work at 2pm and had a half hour drive (out of Houston to suburb) to get to DS in K. He was a car-rider and the school had a backup plan for late parents.
Another option is a SAHM who lives nearby and would be willing to be your backup and would be who you could text on the day DS expects to be a car-rider and you are running late. And possibly earn extra money on the days you know/plan that you have to stay late. Of course, I would suggest making it worth her while in some way.
|
|
TankTop
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1,871
Posts: 4,831
Location: On the couch...
Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
|
Post by TankTop on Aug 2, 2014 2:15:40 GMT
As a teacher I can tell you your plan will never work.
A. I doubt he would be allowed to have it at school.
B. If I saw it, it would go to the office to prevent theft.
You need to arrange with the car rider monitor for him to be sent to after school care if you are not there by last call.
|
|
|
|
Post by Belia on Aug 2, 2014 2:46:37 GMT
As a teacher I can tell you your plan will never work. A. I doubt he would be allowed to have it at school. B. If I saw it, it would go to the office to prevent theft. You need to arrange with the car rider monitor for him to be sent to after school care if you are not there by last call. Thanks for the information and perspective. Tank Top- I am especially glad to hear your thoughts as a teacher in the trenches. The after school care is right there in the building. DS will be using it for before school care each day, so he'll be familiar with the program, location, and the staff. I actually talked to the director there in the spring about this situation, and she was helpful and friendly, but also couldn't give too many direct answers about how I would be charged in different circumstances, either. That was probably too tall of an order. There are no teachers supervising pick up, as far as I can tell! Isn't that weird?!?!? I've read enough "car line" threads here at 2peas so I was watching for this, but I specifically asked the secretary about car line procedures and she looked at me strangely. Like, "The bell rings and the kids go home! What's so tough about that?" From what I observed, the kids just flood out of the building. There are no buses. A lot walk home (we're just a smidge less than a mile away- farther than I'm comfortable allowing my first grader to walk.) Parents who pick up just park all along the neighboring streets and either go get their kids or the kids find them. I asked what happened if a kid wasn't picked up, and the secretary said that they are rounded up at the office at 3:00 / 3:05 then she starts calling parents. Not sure about any "change slip" process- nothing that's been told to me. I like the carabiner idea- gosh darn it, I *JUST* cleaned out the junk drawer yesterday and I think I threw a couple small ones out. Figures! Then just be very clear with DS about what to do if his note says "Mom" but I don't actually show up. Again, thank you so much for helping me puzzle this through. |
|
TankTop
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1,871
Posts: 4,831
Location: On the couch...
Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
|
Post by TankTop on Aug 2, 2014 2:50:39 GMT
Our after school care is based on a one year contract with the provider. If yours is the same they may not have been able to answer for you last spring.
As long as you have a clear procedure or process, the office will love you.
|
|
caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
|
Post by caro on Aug 2, 2014 2:55:27 GMT
Can he go home with a friend? I would be a nervous wreck trying to get to school in time.
|
|
|
|
Post by gryroagain on Aug 2, 2014 2:59:04 GMT
My youngest got one at just turned 8, for similar reasons. She was doing gymnastics in a foreign cow try, didn't speak the language, and I needed her to be able to get me immediately if she needed to. I got some eye rolls from people because my 8 year old had a phone, but their 8 year didn't need one- mine did. It seems like it would be easier for him to have one and so know the daily drill then either pay for a year of aftercare, or hassle the office, and perhaps the school would bend a no phone rule in this situation? My DD never lost, broke or mishandled her phone, it was one purpose only and she respected that and took care of it, I think kids that age certainly can.
|
|
|
|
Post by SallyPA on Aug 2, 2014 3:11:43 GMT
When I've had a similar situation in the past, I arranged for my 2 girls to go straight to he office after school and I walked in and picked them up very single day whether I was on time or late. It was the only consistent thing I could come up with and since I had 2 younger kids (they were 5 and 7 at the time) they didn't have to remember where to go on which days. They both walked down and waited. The office ladies knew to wait 15 minutes and call me if I was running later than that. They never had to call but it was great to have a consistent plan even though I had to park and walk in daily (we do not have a car line either).
|
|
|
|
Post by betsy on Aug 2, 2014 3:42:15 GMT
Wouldn't work in my kids' K-2 building. Kids are not allowed to make decisions about where to be after school - it must be arranged in writing with a parent's signature at the start of the school day.
I HAVE had to call the school and say I'm trapped in traffic, have my kids go to the next bus stop and get off at my neighbor's house - thankfully she has kids the same age, stays at home, and is always willing to help out.
I have had to call the school and have them not put my 1st grader on the bus so I can pick her up, having forgotten to fill out the form.
Get the phone number for the front office, put it in your cellphone's contacts, and use it when you need to.
There is likely some sort of procedure for changing your regular routine, you just need to ask what it is. If he'll be going to after school care on set days of the week, they don't expect a first grader to remember which days.
Just call and ask.
|
|
SabrinaP
Pearl Clutcher
Busy Teacher Pea
Posts: 4,408
Location: Dallas Texas
|
Post by SabrinaP on Aug 2, 2014 4:10:19 GMT
Do you pay for after school care based on how many days he attends or is it a flat rate? If it's a flat rate, I would have him go to after school care everyday and just pick him up there, even if he is only there for a few minutes.
|
|
|
|
Post by JustCallMeMommy on Aug 2, 2014 4:32:38 GMT
DD's schools have always required a note or signed FAX to change the mode of transportation. Even if I texted DD to do something else, it wouldn't be allowed.
Check and see what your grace period is for picking your son up. It usually takes a while for the pickup line to run, so you probably have at least 15 minutes past the starting time.
|
|
|
|
Post by elaine on Aug 2, 2014 4:33:01 GMT
Do you pay for after school care based on how many days he attends or is it a flat rate? If it's a flat rate, I would have him go to after school care everyday and just pick him up there, even if he is only there for a few minutes.  Way too complicated to expect a 6 yo to remember and figure it out. He needs to remember to do one thing after school this year, either go to the kiss and ride line or to after-schools care. No cell phone. |
|
|
|
Post by lesleyanne on Aug 2, 2014 5:01:38 GMT
I, too, would recommend the "meet at the office" situation. Then it's the same thing that doesn't have any negative consequences in case something happens.
|
|
|
|
Post by beanbuddymom on Aug 2, 2014 12:08:06 GMT
Well first of all, many schools don't allow children that age to have phones or any electronics at school, so there's that.
Secondly I think that becomes too stressful for a first grader to have to figure out his after school plan. I would just send him to aftercare every day. Period.
This makes it less stressful for Both of you. I felt stressed just reading your post I can't imagine imposing that on a first grader.
|
|
|
|
Post by monklady123 on Aug 2, 2014 12:24:32 GMT
It's interesting to me to see all the different ways that schools have of dismissing students. At my kids' elementary school (K-5) only the 4th and 5th graders were allowed to just walk home at dismissal time. Third graders were also allowed to walk by themselves but only with a note from home. K-2 had to have an adult supervising them always -- so either picked up by car (and the line was supervised by several adults, plus 5th grade safety patrols), or walking home with a parent, or going to an after-school program. A 1st grader would never be allowed to decide for him/herself based on a parent's text.
Also, I would check with the office people before I just told my kid to go there after school. Those folks have enough to do at dismissal time without also watching a bunch of random kids who show up.
However, OP is sounds like your school is much more lax on the rules for pickup. But I still think a phone and texting your instructions seems like a huge stressor at the end of the day for both of you. I'd go along with the suggestion to have him just go to the after-school program and you pick him up from there. Actually that might give you a few minutes to switch gears from working all day, commuting, etc. You wouldn't have to take a long time, just maybe stop at home, change clothes, grab a cold drink, then you could go pick him up in a relaxed frame of mind instead of being frantic to get there with traffic or whatever.
|
|
|
|
Post by icedcoffee14 on Aug 2, 2014 12:34:50 GMT
What is the school's policy if you are late? Is the after care in the same building? At my daughters' school, car riders would be sent to the after care program if the parents didn't show up by a certain time. And then the school charged them for that day. This was my DD's school policy too. They may have a plan similar to this. I know cell phones were against the policy in elementary school too. |
|
|
|
Post by ihaveonly1l on Aug 2, 2014 13:06:58 GMT
I would check with the office to see if going there is an option. It's not allowed on a daily basis because then people would just avoid after school care that they have to pay for and use the office. The office is a busy place at the end of the day. Of course sometimes an emergency happens and a student has to go to the office to wait (they aren't a normal after school care kid so they can't just go there) but if it was a daily event, you'd be asked to sign your child up for after school care.
|
|
|
|
Post by salem on Aug 2, 2014 13:10:28 GMT
Can you start your work day any earlier so you get out earlier?
If not, I'd probably sign him up for the after school program. We have a similar issue here and I decided to just sign my 6yo up for the after school program rather than stressing both of us out over school dismissal.
|
|
|
|
Post by anxiousmom on Aug 2, 2014 13:18:47 GMT
Can you start your work day any earlier so you get out earlier? If not, I'd probably sign him up for the after school program. We have a similar issue here and I decided to just sign my 6yo up for the after school program rather than stressing both of us out over school dismissal. My kids are older, so I had to ask the kids what we did, but they reminded me that the after school program is where they went if I was late. At dismissal, the kids either went to "kid's club" or to the car line (private school-no walking, no bus.) Any child not picked up from car line went to kid's club and it was pay per use. If I knew ahead of time, I called the school and had them go straight to kid's club. If, however, I was running late, I knew precisely where they were going and I knew where to pick them up. No confusion for any of us. And, I'll be honest here...if *I* wanted an afternoon alone? Or to get something done? I would have them go to kid's club. They were safe, fed and loved (again, smaller private parochial school where the teachers had known them since they were in Mother's Morning Out) and I could rest easy and do what I needed to do. |
|
|
|
Post by epeanymous on Aug 2, 2014 13:29:27 GMT
I think expecting the six-year-old to deal with the logistics is going to be tough. Do you have friends or family who can escort him every day? I totally get not wanting to pay for after school care, and, where I live, you pay for all or none of it, whether you are leaving your kid for ten seconds or three hours, daily or once a week. At the schools my kids have attended there is no pick-up line or anything. Kindy students have to be picked up directly from the teacher or put on a school bus, but everyone else has to make their own way, and no way would a teacher be making individual arrangements absent some specific kid issue (ie, something developmental for the kid, not work-related for the parent).
Is the school bus an option? If you just need to buy yourself a little time, and your child is eligible for the bus, that is probably a good solution. My elementary school gets out at 3:40, but the bus gets the kids home at 4:15 or 4:20, which makes it so that I can get home by the time they are there--if I had to make it to school pick up by 3:40, I would be in your position.
|
|
|
|
Post by Belia on Aug 2, 2014 13:59:51 GMT
Thanks again for your thoughts- and for not ripping me a new one as I think this through! To answer a couple of questions-
After school care is NOT a flat fee. 5 days a week is one fee, there is a lower fee for 2 days a week, and there is a higher fee for daily drop ins. Whether he "drops in" for 5 minutes or 3 hours. But to use the drop in one day a week is still cheaper than signing him up in advance for full time. If I were to just sign him up for full time care, it would be big $$$$$$. If I truly needed it, we could make it work financially. But I did a practice run of this last spring probably at least 20 times, and I was on time or early to pick up every single time. So I think signing him up for full time at this point would be overkill.
There are no school buses- that would actually be the perfect solution. I could meet him at home every day easily.
Can't change my work hours- I work at a school.
And I'm with everybody that I don't want to rely on the teacher or the office staff for any of this unless there is some extreme, unusual situation.
No neighbors I could rely on on a regular basis, either.
You guys have convinced me that the cell phone idea is a no-go, which is helpful! I needed this real feedback. Thank you!
|
|
|
|
Post by moveablefeast on Aug 2, 2014 14:01:18 GMT
It's nice that your school allowed this, though I'm not sure it would be an option at most schools. There is usually a lot going on during that transition time at the end of the day, and being responsible for extra kids in an office that's not designed for it is less than ideal for a lot of reasons. I am the secretary and am in the office at the end of the school day and the biggest problem is that since I always have half a dozen teachers needing things in different areas of the building, I can't take responsibility for kids on a daily basis. I've had parents ask for exactly this arrangement and I've always said no - call me if you get in a jam and we'll be more than glad to help out, but on a daily basis you either need to use aftercare or you need to get here on time. If I made that arrangement with one working mom, I would have 50 working moms wanting the same deal.
So that kind of colors my answer here. In my school it would be suggested that you need to make a regular plan. Maybe your child could leave with another parent and wait with them in the front yard of the school for the 5-10 minutes wiggle room you may need. Maybe a neighbor would be willing to take your child home with them for a bit of cash or in exchange for occasional weekend babysitting. Maybe you need aftercare on a daily basis so that you have a buffer of time. Maybe they would prorate aftercare for you if you only need a few minutes each day. Maybe your child could be taught to leave as if going to the car line each day and sit on a bench in front of the school for 5-10 minutes until you get there.
I think a cell phone would be more difficulty than it's worth - I have a first grader and she wouldn't remember to check it.
Most of the time, if our school hypothetically lets out at 2:55, if you are in the car line by about 3:05 you will still not be the last person in the line. So just the process of dismissal and getting through the car line gives you an additional buffer of a few minutes.
|
|
|
|
Post by Belia on Aug 2, 2014 14:07:29 GMT
Thank you for your thoughtful response, moveablefeast! Just what I need to hear!
I love the peas!
|
|
iluvpink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,370
Location: Michigan
|
Post by iluvpink on Aug 2, 2014 14:42:32 GMT
Hmm..I had that same issue when my dd was younger and for me traffic was an issue so it happened a couple times a month. I always told her to wait outside until the the parking lot was mostly cleared and the aides started telling the kids left waiting to go inside to the office (about ten minutes). At that point she was to go to the office. If I thought I was going to be that late I would call the office and tell them to send her to after school care. However due to dd's health needs (type 1 diabetes) we were close to the secretaries and if I was going to be just a few more minutes or so, they would often keep her in the office a few more minutes so I didn't have to pay extra. But sometimes I was far enough away they would have to send her down the hall.
She ended up getting a cell phone at the end of 5th grade due to the diabetes and wanting to be more independent/entering middle school.
|
|
