Nink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,947
Location: North Idaho
Jul 1, 2014 23:30:44 GMT
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Post by Nink on Jun 18, 2016 21:02:56 GMT
DH and I needed to go to Home Depot today and there's an In n Out burger right across the way. We decided to eat first and was prime time for lunch crowd. DH grabbed us a table outside while I ordered. While we were waiting for our food, an elderly couple came out looking for a table, since they were all taken I asked if they'd like to join us. She jumped at the offer. DH was okay with it, but wasn't thrilled and I could tell hers felt the same way. She and I chatted up a storm all through lunch and the men just ate and barely said word. Lol
Would yours have behaved similar or would they have been the inviter?
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Post by 950nancy on Jun 18, 2016 21:13:48 GMT
All three men in my family are much quieter than me. I tend to talk to strangers much more often, but my husband is the neighborhood go to guy. Little old ladies really dig him.
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trollie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,580
Jul 2, 2014 22:14:02 GMT
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Post by trollie on Jun 18, 2016 21:14:17 GMT
I would have been the one to offer up the table or share it. I wouldn't have necessarily talked up a storm to the couple, but I would have shared the table for sure.
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Post by shescrafty on Jun 18, 2016 21:17:08 GMT
My husband likely would not have invited them, but would have no issue if I asked them to Join us (which I probably would have).
In general we are both pretty social but I tend to be better at following through and actually making plans. It used to be that he would complain that he wished he had "guys. Night" like I did with my girlfriends. I explained to him (more than once) that it was not just random that we showed up at the same place-we actually made plans and texted and gave each other ideas on what to do. He finally got it and now makes plans with his friends much more regularly than he used to.
He likes having people over here as well but typically it is me who does the actual inviting and follow up. He is helpful and happy to get everything ready, just doesn't have that push to get it started.
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Post by katlady on Jun 18, 2016 21:17:21 GMT
What trollie said. I would offer to share the table, but I wouldn't have engaged them in a lengthly conversation. My SO wouldn't have either.
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Post by Ryann on Jun 18, 2016 21:19:38 GMT
Neither of us would have invited, lol. What is more likely is that we would have given up the table for them to have and we would have waited for another or taken ours to go to eat in the car. We are both introverted and uncomfortable with small talk, so we would never put ourselves in that kind of position on purpose.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Jun 18, 2016 21:19:49 GMT
It's a toss up. I HAVE to be social, as I work with the public. He does not. he works inside a machine and does not talk to anyone all day for like 14 hrs. So when we go out, it is the complete opposite. He wants to chat with people, and I want my privacy, as I have to be so open and social all wk.
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Post by leannec on Jun 18, 2016 21:30:56 GMT
I'm a good socializer when things are planned ... I run a successful meetup.com group and I really enjoy it Dh is just not into those kind of things ... On the other hand, he is a realtor and can strike up a conversation with pretty much anyone ... I don't have that talent In your situation we would both have make the couple feel comfortable
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 18, 2024 8:01:56 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 18, 2016 21:37:28 GMT
We are both the same, right on the very edge if being hermits.
The funny thing is I loved to be invited but I don't want to go!
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Post by canadianscrappergirl on Jun 18, 2016 21:38:01 GMT
Hubby is very quiet but when at work thing like the other night he will talk to his employees and I notice he really listens and took interest in what they were saying.
Now in a room full of ppl he doesn't know he tends to stay in the background unless someone starts talking about something he loves such as hunting.
In the case of the elderly couple I could see him offering he gas old world politeness ingrained in him but either way he would have chatted with them he is too much of a gentleman to not talk to them lol.
Sometimes he will chat with someone and afterwards to me may say wow didn't think they would ever be quiet lol.
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Post by peasapie on Jun 18, 2016 21:38:15 GMT
My husband enjoys socializing more than I do. It's interesting because I think he's kind of awkward in the give and take of conversation, but I don't think he sees it that way - and I've never shared my opinion with him.
My husband wouldn't have minded if I invited that couple over to the table. He might or might not have chatted, depending on the other couple, but he feels no awkwardness at sitting and saying nothing.
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Post by hop2 on Jun 18, 2016 21:48:00 GMT
On the surface, if you saw us at a gathering you'd say my DH is more sociable because he'll talk to people and join in more often. However I am more sociable if you consider actual connections to people.
What I mean is if we went to a gathering of 50 people we never met before he would 'work the room' I'd look more like a wallflower for a long time, observing. I mean he'll do the small talk thing, network for business, but that's the end of it. If he walks away from the evening knowing anything about anyone it'll be in terms of business connections. He'll have worked thru the whole group and will 'connect' with those few he thinks might be useful to him.
I on the other hand would be able tell you something about the 3-4 actual people I met and I would have a few new aquantances. I might even come away from the gathering with one new friend.
Oh I forgot
In your scenario I might have invited DH never would have.
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Post by bc2ca on Jun 18, 2016 22:13:03 GMT
Great question. In that situation we would have shared the table and chatted. A few weeks ago DH had surgery and I was in the waiting area with another man for a little over an hour. We acknowledged each other, but didn't get into any conversation. The next afternoon DH & I were at the surgeon's office for the follow-up and in walks this man and his wife. She looks at my DH and said "well, we know you can sleep anywhere" and starts teasing him about snoring in the post-op area. She and DH are chatting away like old friends. She gets called back first and DH continues to chat with the husband. By the time DH gets called back, I am involved. This is when things start to get really good. What was a long conversation about health issues, the challenges of chemo in your 80s, etc., veers into work history when I get a text from DS that he just got offered his first job. Now this gentleman starts in on his 60 year career that started as an LA cop through detective, then into the DA's office and finally taking on his third career as a judge. DH said he could hear our conversation and was so disappointed they left ahead of him because he wanted to invite them for dinner . To summarize, DH is more likely to start conversations and I'll join in if it gets interesting. SaveSave
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christinec68
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,129
Location: New York, NY
Jun 26, 2014 18:02:19 GMT
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Post by christinec68 on Jun 18, 2016 22:24:26 GMT
I am much more social than my husband and I don't consider myself social. Ha!
But in that situation, one of us would have offered them a seat or perhaps the table. If we ended up sharing, I can see me chit chatting a little but DH would have been just short of mute.
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tuesdaysgone
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,832
Jun 26, 2014 18:26:03 GMT
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Post by tuesdaysgone on Jun 18, 2016 22:30:16 GMT
DH is very social and loves talking to people. I can see him light up in a room full of people. On the other hand, talking with strangers is a nightmare for me. I can do it, bit I really dislike it.
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Post by femalebusiness on Jun 18, 2016 22:30:34 GMT
When we were first married I was the life of the party and he was the strong silent type. We partied hardy in those days. Now he is the chatty social one and I am a lot more reserved. In reality we would both rather just be hanging out together. We have always been ones to sneak out of a party or event or go find a corner to neck in.
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Post by cmpeter on Jun 18, 2016 22:55:29 GMT
We are equally sociable and both would have offered the table and chatted. Although, I think he is better with small talk.
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FurryP
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To pea or not to pea...
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Jun 26, 2014 19:58:26 GMT
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Post by FurryP on Jun 19, 2016 0:52:39 GMT
My DH is the social one. I am more reserved until I get to know people.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 18, 2024 8:01:56 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 19, 2016 1:00:56 GMT
I'm definitely the more outgoing and sociable one in the relationship.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Jun 19, 2016 1:01:14 GMT
We would both be equally as likely to invite someone else to share our table in the scenario described. And we would both be quite likely to engage in chit-chat as we eat. Both of us are outgoing and sociable.
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M in Carolina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,128
Jun 29, 2014 12:11:41 GMT
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Post by M in Carolina on Jun 19, 2016 1:05:56 GMT
My dh says that I can talk to anyone and make friends with all sorts of people, but he's really reserved.
He has opened up a lot since his current job where he has to talk to customers on the phone all day. He tells me a lot about his coworkers, etc. and is a lot more chatty than he used to be. Sometimes he really surprises me. Other times when I've heard him talk on the phone all day, I just want some quiet, but he still wants to talk.
We both would offer to let the couple sit with us or just give them our table. How much dh talked to them would depend on how friendly they were and what we talked about.
Dh is more friendly when he gets to know you better. He's the one that goes to the grocery store all the time, etc. and he's on a first name basis with most of the people that work the night shift at the store across the street from us. I know a couple of them, but he really surprised me by saying hello to everyone we saw the other night.
I would have never believed that he would do this when we were first married.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jun 19, 2016 1:08:51 GMT
DH is more social and he would absolutely invite the other couple to join us. Me, not so much. I would probably rush to eat my food to free up the table quickly, or I would go eat in car. If I came back to the table and saw he had invited someone to join us though, I would be a good sport and be social.
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Post by maryland on Jun 19, 2016 1:12:08 GMT
I am social and my husband is not. He is good if he knows someone well, but he doesn't do small talk. People think he doesn't like them so I have to explain that he is just not comfortable until he knows them better. And I talk too much, he doesn't!
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GiantsFan
Prolific Pea
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Jun 27, 2014 14:44:56 GMT
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Post by GiantsFan on Jun 19, 2016 2:29:54 GMT
I'm a closet introvert, and DH is a card carrying member of the introvert club. I would've offered the elderly couple to join us and DH wouldn't have a problem with it, but he probably wouldn't do the offering.
A few weeks ago we were at Universal Studios and a group (7) people were looking for a table, two elderly people, two middle age-ish, and three kids. We were almost finished with our lunch and I offered them to join us. It was a round table with four seat benches that could fit two people each. I scooted over to join DH on his bench and they squeezed into the other seats, with the middle aged man standing until we finished. If the elderly people hadn't been in the group I don't know if I would have offered. But the woman looked like she needed to rest - like right then!
But I also give up my seat on buses to elderly or people with small children.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Jun 19, 2016 2:30:37 GMT
Depends on where we are!
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Anita
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,646
Location: Kansas City -ish
Jun 27, 2014 2:38:58 GMT
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Post by Anita on Jun 19, 2016 2:32:16 GMT
My DH can't walk five feet without making a new best friend. I swear it takes hours to finish a simple errand because he talks to everyone.
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zookeeper
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,909
Aug 28, 2014 2:37:56 GMT
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Post by zookeeper on Jun 19, 2016 2:33:54 GMT
We are both quite sociable and we have actually invited another couple to join us at a sushi restaurant when there were no tables left. We had great conversation!
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scrapngranny
Pearl Clutcher
Only slightly senile
Posts: 4,763
Jun 25, 2014 23:21:30 GMT
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Post by scrapngranny on Jun 19, 2016 3:29:45 GMT
My DH and I are about the same, kind of reserved. We did have a great experience when we were on a cruise and were seated with couple we did not know for dinner. We had the same table throughout the 10 day, we ended up really enjoying our dinners together. We are from the west coast and they were from the east, so many interesting conversations.
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Post by AussieMeg on Jun 19, 2016 3:34:20 GMT
DSO is more sociable than I am. In your scenario both of us would have invited the couple to take a seat but I would be unlikely to start up a conversation.
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Post by papersilly on Jun 19, 2016 4:28:42 GMT
Me, for sure. When we are out, husband can leave for a minute and come back to me talking away to a random stranger.
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