Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,814
Member is Online
Jun 26, 2014 1:20:09 GMT
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Post by Just T on Aug 4, 2014 0:05:03 GMT
not-so-good way? Benem's thread has me thinking about this because it has for me, twice, and I don't even share all that much about my personal life online.
The first time totally freaked me out and I have gauged everything I post online since then by that one event.
Years ago, I posted on 2 Peas asking about a person I had encountered on the message boards I was the administrator of for the organization I work for. This person had raised so many red flags, and we had all just recently been blindsided by a member who was a faker/troll, and it had really impacted our members in a negative way. While I didn't give a whole lot of details, I did use this person's username on our boards. I wouldn't have gotten in trouble at my job for what I posted, but a couple of people came on the thread to say they knew her, or thought they did, and chastised me for being out of line in posting what I did. I never made any secret about where I work when I was on two peas, and I was so worried that someone was going to contact my boss. Even though I had said nothing wrong, the thought of that happening really upset me. I have always been super careful about what I post about my job ever since.
The second time hit a little more close to home. I received an email from a stranger...through my work email. It's not hard to figure out my work email because like I said, there are times I have been very open about where I work and what I do. I have often gotten help for projects from peas, and it really never occurred to me to worry. I always asked myself before I posted if it was something I would be upset if my boss found out about it. Anyway, someone tracked down my address, my kid's names, their schools. I even stopped posting at 2 Peas for a long time after that.
So, has your online life and real life ever collided in a bad/scary way?
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Post by 1lear on Aug 4, 2014 0:07:46 GMT
No, it hasn't-but I've mostly been a lurker at 2Peas and other sites I visit. It would freak me out if it happened, though.
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Post by rst on Aug 4, 2014 0:12:29 GMT
Nope. Hasn't happened to me. I've had odd blast from my past connections that I would be fine never re-establishing. I've had one person who raises red flags who persists in friending or following me on pretty much every venue or site which is just odd, but I just block her and take each time that she pops up as a reminder that everything online is public, so to post (or refrain from posting) accordingly.
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caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
Jun 26, 2014 14:10:36 GMT
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Post by caro on Aug 4, 2014 0:12:32 GMT
No but the person who called Mrs T 's school and told her principal she was online during class time freaked me out. People can be cruel and way too invested in a msg board.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 20:28:25 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2014 0:15:09 GMT
WHY do people think that stuff is ok? It's harassment plain and simple. If you don't agree with what someone posts, state your reasoning and GET THE HELL ON WITH YOUR OWN LIFE! Unless you are posting things like you are hurting your children physically and can't stop or you want to kill yourself, there's no reason to get involved.
Pretty pathetic to spend valuable time tracking down someone virtually. Aren't there laws against virtual stalking or harassment?
I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm glad you are back.
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azredhead
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,755
Jun 25, 2014 22:49:18 GMT
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Post by azredhead on Aug 4, 2014 0:49:28 GMT
no in fact the opposite. It was nice to make some friends IR.
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marianne
Pearl Clutcher
Not my circus, not my monkeys. . . My monkeys fly!
Posts: 4,176
Location: right smack dab in the middle of SC
Site Supporter
Jun 25, 2014 21:08:26 GMT
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Post by marianne on Aug 4, 2014 1:02:00 GMT
No, but I really don't put out a whole lot of personal information. My savvy son taught me well when I first started using the Internet.
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Post by Barbie on Aug 4, 2014 1:06:15 GMT
No, not in any way like that. I'm pretty open on-line, just like I am with people IRL. I've met a lot of my on-line friend in real life, and really enjoyed it! Many of them have become very close friends.
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eleezybeth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,784
Jun 28, 2014 20:42:01 GMT
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Post by eleezybeth on Aug 4, 2014 1:10:36 GMT
Sort of... I was at a luncheon and introduced myself to the new girl. She rolled her eyes and said, "I know who you are. I'm on 2peas too." It was nice to have a IRL connection, but... We were in swaps together. She would flake and it made my life difficult. I even walked away from the pod for about a year. The swap board could be heinous and she could be part if that crowd. My username was my name so I did change that.
I can't believe anybody would track anybody down. Seriously, get a life!
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Post by farmdpea on Aug 4, 2014 1:13:59 GMT
No, but that's why I don't post much and try to include very limited personal information. I think maybe 4 peas even know my first name.
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Post by mollycoddle on Aug 4, 2014 1:14:41 GMT
No, but I share very little online.
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back to *pea*ality
Pearl Clutcher
Not my circus, not my monkeys ~refugee pea #59
Posts: 3,149
Jun 25, 2014 19:51:11 GMT
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Post by back to *pea*ality on Aug 4, 2014 1:23:33 GMT
No.
Years ago I had my picture, part of my name and location in my prior user I'd at the pod. Someone contacted a peas employer that was before Mrs. T, that was when I discovered the place had a dark side and the less I posted about my personal life the safer it would be. There have been posts to follow peas on Facebook or Pinterest but I thought that would be a mistake.
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Post by bluepoprocks on Aug 4, 2014 1:25:48 GMT
No but I make sure I don't use names or anything too specific when I'm online.
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maurchclt
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,646
Jul 4, 2014 16:53:27 GMT
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Post by maurchclt on Aug 4, 2014 1:31:32 GMT
Actually have met people online I have become friends with IRL.
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Grom Pea
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,944
Jun 27, 2014 0:21:07 GMT
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Post by Grom Pea on Aug 4, 2014 1:35:56 GMT
Once I made some online friends and we were going to get together in real life to go to a cabin in big bear, I was concerned because it was snowing and I did not want to take my brand new car. I was supposed to give Two girls ride so I volunteered to drop them off at a train and come get them but was not comfortable driving. The girl who organized the trip (who I had met before and she seemed normal) flipped out in me and basically said I ruined the trip. I offered to pay my way but my car was new and I had just signed a waver that the warranty was void if I used chains on my tires. She ended up canceling the trip and asking everyone just for $17 for the deposit, but after that incident I don't really like to meet online people, it just seemed like nothing put her into a rage. I assume that can happen in real life but I deleted most online pictures and profiles after that.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 20:28:25 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2014 1:39:08 GMT
Many years ago, I overshared about some distressing personal issues I was going through. A couple of ladies went a little overboard in their attempt to 'help' me.
I have since been very, very careful about what I put out on the interwebs.
L
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blue tulip
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,006
Jun 25, 2014 20:53:57 GMT
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Post by blue tulip on Aug 4, 2014 1:45:40 GMT
my only personal experience was a positive one, but the benem situation has really made me think better of things. I'd like to think I'm nont important or controversial enough to invite any harassment, but really you never know do you? some people are just sick and sad.
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Post by chirpingcricket on Aug 4, 2014 1:48:33 GMT
I'm ... not sure this counts.
Fifteen years ago, on the AOL travel message boards, a bunch of people became friends while the rules of posting on those boards were changing. A lot of us felt we were being unfairly censored. We took our concerns off the main board and into an email round robin.
That first group splintered.
Then the second group splintered.
Then the third group -- which seemed on the surface to be moderately stable - began planning a "meet" at our preferred travel destination.
I was to be sharing a room with two people.
One of those two people reserved the room we were to be sharing.
When I sent my money in, I sent it directly to the hotel.
Then .... things started to deteriorate. I cannot adequately describe it, but one of our mutual friends emailed me privately, "I think she's an alcoholic."
Stuff got weird.
A couple of weeks before our travel date, the person in whose name the room was reserved asked if she could bring her children with her to the meet.
I called the hotel and asked for a refund. The hotel rep told me that I could not have my money back because the room was in someone else's name.. We're talking about a sum in excess of $1800.
All I could do was imagine that one day I would get my money back. In the meantime, I made alternate arrangements for a different hotel with a different hotel who was not insane/alcoholic/whatever. I told the original roommate/scammer/crazy person/alcoholic, "No, I want my money back; the fact that you proposed bringing a minor to an event where adults are clearly planning to engage in adult activities like wine tastings is evidence that you are crazy."
She still came to the event. One night, she returned my deposit to me in cash, counting it out into my hand in a crowded hotel bar. I still consider myself lucky that I did not get robbed that night thanks to that crazy lady.
A couple of years later, I heard she went through AA. She never did the step where she called me up and apologized for all the anguish she caused me, so...
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Post by theboydbunch on Aug 4, 2014 3:48:41 GMT
no in fact the opposite. It was nice to make some friends IR.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 20:28:25 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2014 3:51:51 GMT
Nope but no one here know my real name or any of my family members names. They know where I work but there are over 3000+ employees. Yeah good luck. Lol. I keep safe because there are loons out there
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Aug 4, 2014 3:55:56 GMT
No, but I used to be active on the WW boards before finding 2 peas. There was a group of us who were fairly close due to being pregnant at the same time and we had a regular thread that kept going after we had our babies. I think some of the women chatted on IM as well. There was some drama after one woman and her family went to stay with another and her family (first time meeting IRL). Apparently one of the women ended up sleeping with the others husband. I always wondered what happened to all of them.
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Post by pierkiss on Aug 4, 2014 4:00:06 GMT
No it hasn't. And honestly, if it ever did I would absolutely be done here. The fun I have here is not worth risking my and my families safety and security.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 20:28:25 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2014 5:23:41 GMT
No; my online persona is just as boring as my real life.
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Post by anniefb on Aug 4, 2014 5:29:51 GMT
No it hasn't but I don't share a lot of personal info online.
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Post by Linda on Aug 4, 2014 5:45:05 GMT
I ran into an online friend from another forum at the zoo last Spring when I chaperoned my daughter's field trip - she was there with her son's class. She recognised my daughter from FB photos (we're also FB friends).
It was all good - she's someone that I've known online for probably a decade and we've emailed and even snail mailed before - she sent me plant clippings for my garden.
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,402
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Aug 4, 2014 5:50:48 GMT
No; my online persona is just as boring as my real life. I don't give a whole lot away about myself online.
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Post by ptamom on Aug 4, 2014 6:03:41 GMT
No, but I've never shared my name, or the name of my kids/DH, or my exact location. I have shared a couple of pictures, but not very identifying ones.
I've shared that I'm very active in the PTA, but so are many.
I don't link a blog.
I've noticed some people will link a picture or video from their facebook page. And that's fine. But I hope they realize that their name (unless they have a pseudonym for their FB name), is shown to everyone who clicks on the link.
I don't fault those who share more, who are more trusting. I just choose not to.
Not because I fear Pea detectives hunting me down. Just because I don't want to put a large footprint on the net. I'm more wary of internet trollers than I am of message board users.
ETA: Dang, I lost my Throbbing Member status.
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Post by lovestocreate on Aug 4, 2014 7:02:39 GMT
It's been several years now, but on the old 2Peas I posted one of those, "what would you do/would you be offended/how would you respond" type posts. I only included my relationship to the person, but no name. Apparently someone, and I still don't know to this day who it was, had figured out who I was (and I can only guess they made the connection through some layouts I had posted in the gallery)and felt the need to pass the information along to the person I was having the in-real-life issue with. Crazy
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Aug 4, 2014 7:08:44 GMT
The number of Peas who've taken it upon themselves to insert themselves into another Pea's real life is frightening. I have never seen that level of crazy on any of the other message boards I've been a part of.
Mrs. T was not one of my favorite Peas, but what happened to her was terrible. I can't imagine elevating an online issue with someone to a real life issue (unless it involves someone's safety).
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oblibby
Full Member
Posts: 211
Location: Bonnie Scotland
Jul 10, 2014 10:30:12 GMT
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Post by oblibby on Aug 4, 2014 7:15:37 GMT
No, I'm pretty careful about what I share online. Anything I put out there about myself is put into the 'fluff' category.
I sort of see the internet like public transport - I don't share anything I wouldn't want a stranger on a train to overhear.
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