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Post by melodyesch on Aug 14, 2016 18:31:30 GMT
My husband's cousin is getting married next weekend and all of the family is going. My SIL called me and said that she has a flattering black dress that she was going to wear, but both her husband and my MIL said it wasn't appropriate to wear black to a wedding. I told her that I had thought that it was not OK to wear a white dress (because the bride will be in white), but that I had never heard you couldn't wear black. I mean, yeah, you wouldn't wear something that looked like a mourning dress along with a heavy black veil, but this is a stylish dress.
Anyway, SIL's choice is between that dress that she feels good in or a more clingy other color that she doesn't feel looks that great on her. I told her to wear the black, then thought I would ask the peas. Thoughts?
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Jili
Pearl Clutcher
SLPea
Posts: 4,366
Jun 26, 2014 1:26:48 GMT
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Post by Jili on Aug 14, 2016 18:35:54 GMT
Well, I wore a black dress (with sparkly stuff), to my husband's cousin's wedding last night. Granted, it was black tie preferred--but really there were many different kinds of dresses, and many women wearing black--again, including me and one of my daughters. I say go for it.
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Post by kath323 on Aug 14, 2016 18:39:13 GMT
There are vey few weddings that I don't wear black to!
If the wedding is in the evening, I'm most likely wearing black, as are most other other female guests. The past few weddings I've gone to I have ventured to other jewel tones (eggplant, dark teal, navy), but I am in the minority wearing color.
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Post by LilyRose on Aug 14, 2016 18:39:26 GMT
I always thought it was only frowned upon for the mother of the bride or groom to wear black. You know, like they are mourning the marriage?
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Post by anxiousmom on Aug 14, 2016 18:41:44 GMT
I'm going to vote for 'it depends.'
If it is at night, black tie (or even black tie optional) then yes. If it is any other time of day, then I wouldn't do it. (but I can be a bit of stickler for these kind of rules and there are plenty of people who don't agree with me.)
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 1, 2024 3:37:14 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 14, 2016 18:46:52 GMT
I think if she adds some colourful accessories or something 'in' like metallic it will be fine. I don't see the problem with wearing black to a wedding.
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msliz
Drama Llama
The Procrastinator
Posts: 6,419
Jun 26, 2014 21:32:34 GMT
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Post by msliz on Aug 14, 2016 18:49:37 GMT
Daytime, I'd say no.
Evening wedding, absolutely!
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Post by cindytred on Aug 14, 2016 18:51:39 GMT
I agree with the feeling that black is an inappropriate color to wear to a wedding. A few years ago a friend of mine was getting married on a beach in November during the day. Being the short chubby girl that I am, I have trouble finding cute clothes. I ended up wearing black pants with a cream colored top. I was so stressed out about wearing black pants. When I got there I was relieved to see that most of the women had on black also. I think those old fashion rules are old-fashioned.
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Post by alexa11 on Aug 14, 2016 18:57:26 GMT
I would wear black, but black is my favorite...
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RosieKat
Drama Llama
PeaJect #12
Posts: 5,546 
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Post by RosieKat on Aug 14, 2016 19:03:47 GMT
One more that says it depends. I'd definitely try to accessorize in a more "fun" way than a more subdued glamorous way - depending on the dress, of course, maybe a colorful scarf or a big flower brooch or colorful shoes or whatever. I think as long as it isn't a somber look, it's fine. Of course, this is coming from someone who was fine with both my mom and my grandma wearing cream at my wedding - it just so happened that those were the dresses that worked for them and they looked beautiful and appropriate. My mom did ask if I was OK with it, but I thought she looked great so of course I was fine with it!
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Post by auntkelly on Aug 14, 2016 19:06:02 GMT
I think the no black rule is outdated.
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Post by gorgeouskid on Aug 14, 2016 19:06:45 GMT
Times have changed.
When my aunt married 35 years ago, Aunt Pru (who had dated aunt's fiancé but married his uncle, but was always in love with fiancé) wore black. It was scandalous. We still talk about Aunt Pru who wore black at her wedding.
When I married 15 years ago, my bridesmaids and MIL wore black, as well as a good number of guests. No big deal. Times change.
I wouldn't wear black to a summertime wedding, or a spring wedding in a warm climate or one in Hawaii, but that's more good sense than etiquette.
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Post by hosschick on Aug 14, 2016 19:13:36 GMT
I always thought it was only frowned upon for the mother of the bride or groom to wear black. You know, like they are mourning the marriage? My MIL told me that my FIL's entire side of the family wore black when she married him. She took it this way (sign of mourning) and never really got over it. Because of that, I personally would never wear black. That said, I seem to remember previous threads about this and the majority are fine with it. I wouldn't care if it was my wedding, and dd wouldn't care if it was hers. Does SIL know the bride well enough to ask her directly? If not, I would probably choose option 3, buy a new dress that isn't black, but one that is comfortable & flattering. |
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scrappington
Pearl Clutcher
in Canada
Posts: 3,139
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Post by scrappington on Aug 14, 2016 19:24:51 GMT
My mom wore black to my wedding most did. But it was a winter wedding.
I went to a summer wedding where the mother of the bride wore a black gown that matched the brides wedding dress. It was odd. Just seemed weird she wore a dress like that.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 1, 2024 3:37:15 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 14, 2016 19:24:58 GMT
I'm with those who said it depends. Time of day and type of dress would make a difference. Day time wedding with a black conservative dress that could be worn to a funeral, then no. Evening wedding with a black dress that is more dressy and with the right accessories, then it's fine.
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Post by lucyg on Aug 14, 2016 19:36:59 GMT
Black combined with other colors, prints, sequins, spandex, lots of jewelry, tons of cleavage, whatever, is fine. Looking like you're dressed for a funeral is not. And if you're the groom's ex, I would recommend never, ever, EVER wearing all black or all white to a wedding. Unlike my sister's DH's stupid ex-girlfriend that they no longer have a relationship with.  |
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Post by cadoodlebug on Aug 14, 2016 19:44:58 GMT
I think wedding attire has changed so much almost anything goes. At least it does in CA. When I married 31 years ago I wouldn't have dreamed that in 20 short years brides would be strapless. I say go with what looks good.
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Post by txdancermom on Aug 14, 2016 19:46:02 GMT
I was at a wedding where all the bridesmaids wore little black dresses - each one chose one that was flattering to their figure. It was a more formal wedding and it worked (although the marriage didn't!)
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Grom Pea
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,944
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Post by Grom Pea on Aug 14, 2016 19:48:48 GMT
I wore black to my cousin's wedding and brought a colored pashmina for the ac, but it was super hot out so I never wore it. However I needed a dress I could nurse in and I only had one other dressy dress that I wore to his brother's wedding the year before, so I went with the black. I've also written a black dress with a colorful silk jacket and a black blouse with a black and white skirt to other weddings and I haven't been shunned yet :-)
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Post by melodyesch on Aug 14, 2016 19:52:32 GMT
Thanks for the responses. The wedding is at 5pm and the dress is "cocktail attire." So I think she'll be fine.
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Post by katlady on Aug 14, 2016 20:31:46 GMT
Thanks for the responses. The wedding is at 5pm and the dress is "cocktail attire." So I think she'll be fine. Yes, based on this, she will be fine! If it is an evening wedding, odds are I will wear something black. A daytime wedding will depend on the location/theme/etc. |
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Post by anniefb on Aug 14, 2016 21:26:34 GMT
I'm going to vote for 'it depends.' If it is at night, black tie (or even black tie optional) then yes. If it is any other time of day, then I wouldn't do it. (but I can be a bit of stickler for these kind of rules and there are plenty of people who don't agree with me.) Yeah that ^^ |
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Post by krcrafts on Aug 14, 2016 21:46:20 GMT
I wore a black dress to my dd's wedding and she was fine with it.
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Post by Scrappyhappy on Aug 14, 2016 22:18:40 GMT
I've been to six weddings this summer! Whew! Four of the weddings were very formal and two weren't. I've always adhered to the rule of no wearing black to weddings. Well, times have changed. Lol! Two mothers of the bride wore black and two mothers of the groom did too but not at the same weddings. A lot of the ladies wore black, I was really surprised. So I went with the new trend and wore a black dress to the last wedding we went to.
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rodeomom
Pearl Clutcher
Refupee # 380 "I don't have to run fast, I just have to run faster than you."
Posts: 3,671
Location: Chickasaw Nation, Oklahoma
Jun 25, 2014 23:34:38 GMT
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Post by rodeomom on Aug 14, 2016 22:38:18 GMT
I wore black to both DS and DD weddings. To DD's I wore a black dress, her colors were Red and Black. To DS I wore black pants and gold top. Both dd and ddil approved.
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Post by christine58 on Aug 14, 2016 22:55:54 GMT
I wore black to my cousin's wedding...added some pink earrings and a necklace
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scrapaddie
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,090
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Post by scrapaddie on Aug 14, 2016 22:59:35 GMT
I wore black with a sparky white jacket to my dd's wedding
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Post by ~summer~ on Aug 14, 2016 23:26:55 GMT
If it's at 6:30 or later totally fine
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Post by MalleyCat on Aug 14, 2016 23:27:47 GMT
I've worn a black dress with colorful flowers on it, to a recent wedding.
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Post by papersilly on Aug 14, 2016 23:28:01 GMT
I wore black to the last wedding I went to. my bridesmaids wore black in my wedding 25 years ago and my mom wore a beautiful black dress. Nothing wrong with it at all.
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