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Post by mztfied on Aug 6, 2014 16:39:42 GMT
One of the morning shows was talking about this. Research, according to them, said that we decide with in seconds to trust or not. Where do you fit in this equation?
I don't trust easily. Probably comes from past experience and the fact that I have been around for a long time. Been hurt. Been betrayed. It really take me a long time to trust anyone.
On the very rare occasion I meet someone with whom I just click. But still it takes me ages to really trust.
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Post by kimpossible on Aug 6, 2014 16:40:55 GMT
I worked with a man who had been in management a long time and he said to me, "I always trust until I'm proven wrong".
I'd like to have that attitude, but it sure is hard.
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MDscrapaholic
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,594
Location: Down by the bay....
Jun 25, 2014 20:49:07 GMT
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Post by MDscrapaholic on Aug 6, 2014 16:42:14 GMT
I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I guess you could say I am too trusting.
Now, DH, he could tell if someone was "nice" or not very quickly. I used to argue with him, "no, they're not like that"... Funny thing is, more often than not he was spot on!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 22:27:29 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 6, 2014 16:47:04 GMT
I fall into the "trust until proven wrong" category - though that doesn't mean I indiscriminately trust everyone with everything.
You're a new employee/coworker? I give you my full trust on work-related matters from day one.
You're a new friend I met through existing good friends? I also give you my full trust from day one.
You're someone I struck up a conversation with at the coffee shop and now see a few times a week at the coffee shop and we get along? I may invite you do to something outside the coffee shop, but I'm not going to ask you to housesit for me while we're out of town. Once I know you more and there's no reason to mistrust you, yes.
It varies. There is no one pat answer. I trust different people for different reasons and with different things. Overall, I think most people are trustworthy and I extend trust pretty readily, but prudently.
I have rarely been burned and I vastly prefer to live life assuming the best of people than the worst.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 22:27:29 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 6, 2014 16:52:18 GMT
I met a woman in December who I had nothing in common with. We talked and within seconds we found we had everything under the sun in common. We just found something that will bring us together further, she lost a son with the same name as my married name will be. That spooked her out a lot more.
Her mother calls us soul mates. She is happily married. I am dating. We just talk every day for hours or don't talk at all but then the next day we have missed each other. Very strange. She is such a good friend.
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NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
Jun 25, 2014 21:53:42 GMT
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on Aug 6, 2014 16:55:25 GMT
I don't trust at all when it comes to people other than DH. Sad but I'm honest. My past I'm sure has a lot to do with it but I just feel once you give someone trust your setting yourself up for hurt. I'd rather just keep people at a distance I guess.
I'm sure this is no way to live or be...something I should work on I suppose.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 22:27:29 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 6, 2014 17:00:09 GMT
I tend to trust easily, but once you break my trust it is almost impossible to earn it back. You have to be someone very very close (like a spouse/child/sibling/parent) for me to give you much of a second chance. If you do it again, I may still have to be around you for whatever reason, but you won't really have my trust.
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Nink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,955
Location: North Idaho
Jul 1, 2014 23:30:44 GMT
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Post by Nink on Aug 6, 2014 17:12:47 GMT
I too, fall into the trust until proven wrong category.
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Post by gar on Aug 6, 2014 17:14:47 GMT
I tend to trust instinctively. If I get a feeling about someone I'm usually right and I'll probably never trust them.
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Post by redrulz on Aug 6, 2014 17:18:05 GMT
I am also a trust until proven otherwise person. In time, actions and words will make it clear what type of person they are. But, that's an interesting question. Now for intimate trust, which is a whole other thing, I think that takes a lot longer for me to make an assessment.
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akathy
What's For Dinner?
Still peaing from Podunk!
Posts: 4,546
Location: North Dakota
Jun 25, 2014 22:56:55 GMT
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Post by akathy on Aug 6, 2014 17:18:22 GMT
I tend to trust easily, but once you break my trust it is almost impossible to earn it back. You have to be someone very very close (like a spouse/child/sibling/parent) for me to give you much of a second chance. If you do it again, I may still have to be around you for whatever reason, but you won't really have my trust. This is me too. I'll get over it but I'll never forget what you're capable of.
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,402
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Aug 6, 2014 17:22:36 GMT
I generally find that my first impression/gut feeling is right. A couple of times I have changed my mind, and then changed it back again pretty quickly.
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Post by annabella on Aug 6, 2014 17:26:36 GMT
I have two rules:
If you're friends with my enemy at work, then I don't trust you with anything personal.
If you talk about your other friends, I know you're not trustworthy because you'll talk about me with them.
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scorpeao
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,521
Location: NorCal USA
Jun 25, 2014 21:04:54 GMT
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Post by scorpeao on Aug 6, 2014 17:30:57 GMT
I'm usually trusting until proven wrong, but sometimes there are some people I meet who I instantly don't like/trust them. I'd say that my initial impression is spot on about 90% of the time.
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Post by darkangel090260 on Aug 6, 2014 17:36:09 GMT
Unless your family I trust no one. Trust is something people have to work up to with me. I trust two other people with me children beside some close family.
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loco coco
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,662
Jun 26, 2014 16:15:45 GMT
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Post by loco coco on Aug 6, 2014 17:38:19 GMT
I am too trustworthy and it has bitten me in the ass recently. I also forgive too easily and then RE trust that person. something is wrong with me LOL
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 22:27:30 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 6, 2014 17:44:04 GMT
I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I guess you could say I am too trusting. Now, DH, he could tell if someone was "nice" or not very quickly. I used to argue with him, "no, they're not like that"... Funny thing is, more often than not he was spot on! Guess to my life experiences I know within seconds whether I "like" "trust," or whatever you want to call it. My hubby will argue with me and later when they prove to be who I thought they were, he gets even more hurt for trusting them so.....
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Post by padresfan619 on Aug 6, 2014 17:44:19 GMT
I trust someone until they give me a reason not to. I can't put up walls to everyone just because someone else may have broken my trust. I truly do believe that most people are good. I would have a lot less friends and other relationships if I kept up walls all of the time.
I actually tend to not trust people who are too guarded, it makes me think they have something to hide.
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Post by ajsweetpea on Aug 6, 2014 18:02:06 GMT
I'm usually a pretty good judge of character and can sometimes tell right off the bat if someone is not to be trusted. I don't always read situations correctly but most of the time, I am spot on. I think it is a very good quality to have and many times, people have come back to me and told me I was right in not trusting someone.
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Post by roundtwo on Aug 6, 2014 18:34:28 GMT
Like many others have said, I trust until given a reason not to. Oddly enough, I consider myself a pretty good judge of character but I was completely blind-sided by the ex and all that he turned out to be capable of. (Wow, that is a pretty poorly constructed sentence...) Anyway, that whole situation really threw me off balance for quite some time and while I do find that I still have some areas of trust to work on 5 years on from that mess, I am pretty much back to trust but verify.
It pretty much goes without saying, though, that I will never ever trust the ex again nor the people that knew what was going on and kept it hidden for him.
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purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,792
Jun 27, 2014 20:37:34 GMT
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Post by purplebee on Aug 6, 2014 18:40:48 GMT
On the surface, I too tend to give people the benefit of the doubt and assume that they are trustworthy until proven otherwise. However, there are very few people I actually DO trust with everything, and almost all of those are very close family. And once burned, I just cannot trust that person again.
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sharlag
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I like my artsy with a little bit of fartsy.
Posts: 6,580
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Jun 26, 2014 12:57:48 GMT
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Post by sharlag on Aug 6, 2014 19:12:15 GMT
I trust people unless they're acting overtly shifty.
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Post by Anne-Marie on Aug 6, 2014 19:22:32 GMT
I have serious trust issues and I am aware of it. SO is aware as well. He is a good man and sometimes I feel like he is paying dearly for the actions of others. I certainly don't mean for it to be that way and it makes me sad. If it was a switch I could flip I would do it in a heartbeat.
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Post by sillyrabbit on Aug 6, 2014 19:23:01 GMT
I tend to trust very easily. Like, I'm the one person of my circle who will give somebody second and third chances. This tends to get me taken advantage of sometimes.
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Post by Sam on Aug 6, 2014 19:26:52 GMT
I've seen a couple of stories about this in our press today. I think it's a slow news day.
Anyone who works with the public and/or in sales etc knows that most people form a first impression within the first few seconds of meeting someone.
How many times has that little nugget been regurgitated in terms of job interviews, meeting clients, attending a dinner with strangers etc etc etc.
Now, depending on the interaction and situation, it's plausible that a first impression will lead to 'trust' (although I strongly believe that in most instances, the actions beyond the first interaction cement that feeling and lead to an ultimate decision in, say a buying process).
So, it's the decision to trust that the next part of whatever relationship (business, personal, whatever) is worth pursuing. Many times, this really is instinctual. Sometimes, based on previous experience, we are more circumspect.
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Post by quinlove on Aug 6, 2014 19:58:06 GMT
I like the saying - when someone shows you who they are, believe them. I normally trust people until/unless this happens.
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Post by lilacgal on Aug 6, 2014 20:08:31 GMT
I trust people quite easily unless they're in the medical profession.
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Post by disneypal on Aug 6, 2014 20:37:36 GMT
I am a pretty good judge of character and I think it is true that within a few minutes of meeting someone, I decide if they seem to be trustworthy or not. Generally, I do tend to trust people unless they give me some reason or indication that I shouldn't.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 22:27:30 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 6, 2014 21:10:23 GMT
I've been burnt one too many times to count. I don't trust easily and don't see that changing in the near future. :
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mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
Jul 3, 2014 18:13:13 GMT
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Post by mallie on Aug 6, 2014 21:13:48 GMT
I don't trust easily. Life experience has taught me that it's far wiser to be cautious, because whAt I've found is that most people will break your trust/their promises if it's in their best interests.
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