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Post by donna on Aug 8, 2014 21:36:39 GMT
I have noticed over the last week or so some posts of some of my FB friends about their child going to school that irritates me.
1. One friend posted about her oldest starting 5th grade the next day and that the two younger children were sobbing because they did not want their sister to leave them. One of those younger children is 4 years old and the other is maybe 7 months old. What kind of emotional stuff is she doing that is causing these small children to be so upset? Shouldn't she be building up the excitement for school instead?
2. My cousin posted a picture of her 4 year old going to his pre-K open house with his bottom lip curled out because he was sad. Once again, is she encouraging him to be sad about leaving her?
I know it is none of my business and I would never say anything to them, but as a teacher I would hope that parents are fostering a positive attitude about school at home. Children will mirror the attitudes and actions of their parents. My colleagues and I would very hard to make school exciting. It would help if parents are excited as well.
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Post by cadoodlebug on Aug 8, 2014 21:42:20 GMT
Children will mirror the attitudes and actions of their parents.  People that coddle and act like the world is coming to an end with every bump and bruise are doing their child(ren) a disservice. Same with the school attitudes. |
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Post by workingclassdog on Aug 8, 2014 21:43:06 GMT
Okay that is weird. Our first day of school is a happy day.. kids might not be that happy but I didn't have them crying and carrying on either. I haven't seen that on my FB yet, but only a couple have started... I am going to keep my eye out now!
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Post by workingclassdog on Aug 8, 2014 21:44:19 GMT
cadoodle.. not to change the subject but I love your font.. I am going to change mine to that.. SO much easier to read (for my old eyes)
Well apparently I will figure it out.. HAHA.. sorry this is big..
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Post by donna on Aug 8, 2014 21:45:29 GMT
I had never noticed it until this year either.
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Deleted
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Oct 8, 2024 6:47:33 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2014 21:46:10 GMT
Children will mirror the attitudes and actions of their parents. Very true. Unfortunately, the people who need to hear this and take it to heart won't even clue in.  |
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scrappert
Prolific Pea
RefuPea #2956
Posts: 7,960
Location: Milwaukee, WI area
Jul 11, 2014 21:20:09 GMT
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Post by scrappert on Aug 8, 2014 21:46:57 GMT
That does seem a bit off. It was always and exciting time for us!
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Post by cadoodlebug on Aug 8, 2014 21:47:08 GMT
cadoodle.. not to change the subject but I love your font.. I am going to change mine to that.. SO much easier to read (for my old eyes)
Well apparently I will figure it out.. HAHA.. sorry this is big.. |
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Post by donna on Aug 8, 2014 21:47:59 GMT
Another cousin has a severely autistic child. My cousin has been counting down the days all summer until her child can go back to school because the little girl does not handle being at home that many hours very well.
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Post by workingclassdog on Aug 8, 2014 21:49:27 GMT
haha, I change mine often but I like this one so I'm going to save it.
You can save it??? Okay I need to figure this out! |
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theshyone
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,423 
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Post by theshyone on Aug 8, 2014 21:51:38 GMT
Some kids just plain hated school, even though parents were doing cartwheels of joy.
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imsirius
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Call it as I see it.
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Jul 12, 2014 19:59:28 GMT
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Post by imsirius on Aug 8, 2014 21:52:52 GMT
I think it's more for the parent than the child. Makes me shake my head. Parents these days are so overprotective and making kids worry about every little thing. I see it every day at my school playground with parents. They coddle the kids SO much that the kids cannot do anything without looking at mom for approval!
I worked with my kindergarten class this year and you would not believe the number of mothers who would say things like "Give mommy a big hug, I don't know what I'm going to do all day without you! I'm going to be so sad until you come home!" Then the kid would burst into tears and mom would be all "Oh...poor baby...it's okay."
It was pathetic to watch. Our K teacher started making the moms stay outside instead of bringing the kids into the classroom. Another new trend was bringing kids to school late. Not like two minutes late, like ten, fifteen, TWENTY minutes late every day. One mom when asked why late every day said "I just don't want to rush him and I let him sleep in!" This will be the kid late to work every single day of his life.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2014 21:57:55 GMT
Yes, I think negative attitudes about school and education are pretty common.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2014 21:58:13 GMT
I think it's more for the parent than the child. Makes me shake my head. Parents these days are so overprotective and making kids worry about every little thing. I see it every day at my school playground with parents. They coddle the kids SO much that the kids cannot do anything without looking at mom for approval! I worked with my kindergarten class this year and you would not believe the number of mothers who would say things like "Give mommy a big hug, I don't know what I'm going to do all day without you! I'm going to be so sad until you come home!" Then the kid would burst into tears and mom would be all "Oh...poor baby...it's okay." It was pathetic to watch. Our K teacher started making the moms stay outside instead of bringing the kids into the classroom. Another new trend was bringing kids to school late. Not like two minutes late, like ten, fifteen, TWENTY minutes late every day. One mom when asked why late every day said "I just don't want to rush him and I let him sleep in!" This will be the kid late to work every single day of his life. This, This, THIS! |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2014 21:59:00 GMT
cadoodle.. not to change the subject but I love your font.. I am going to change mine to that.. SO much easier to read (for my old eyes)
Well apparently I will figure it out.. HAHA.. sorry this is big.. Joy, how do you save it? |
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Post by lesleyanne on Aug 8, 2014 22:03:12 GMT
Older DD can't wait to go back!! She loves school. We were shopping for back-to-school 2nd week of July and school starts here after Labour Day!
Younger DD is showing many signs of anxiety. She also loves school, but can't cope very well with change and separation. She'll cry the first day. Guaranteed. And I know this will sound callous, but we just brush it off. She gets a hug and kiss, then a "Remember how much you loved grade 1 and Mrs X? I think you'll love grade 2 just as much! Now, lets read a book!" And, her dad will drop her off because if it were me she'd be a hot mess.
Edited to add: the anxiety affects all parts of her life, not just school. She said she'd go down a waterslide with me last week but she cried her fool eyes out. I won't force her to do something like that so she was asked if she was sure as we sat down to slide. She said yes through tears. 10 meters down the very long side she shouts, "Again, I love this!" all while still dry heaving from crying. It's something that she's learning not to let stop her.
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Post by padresfan619 on Aug 8, 2014 22:06:25 GMT
I remember when I was in elementary school my friend Libby cried every day when her mom would leave during the first week of school. This was like kindergarten through third grade. Some kids just have a more difficult time than others and I can guarantee her mother wasn't encouraging her to be that way. She was one of my childhood best friends and in my Girl Scout troop so I spent a lot of time at her house and around her family.
I cried every night at sleepaway Girl Scout camp in the summer time because I missed my mom so much. Every. Single. Night. sobbing myself to sleep. It wasn't encouraged by my mom, I was just a sensitive kid who liked to have a kiss from mom before bed.
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imsirius
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Call it as I see it.
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Post by imsirius on Aug 8, 2014 22:13:25 GMT
I get the sensitive kid. I have one myself. My son is very routine oriented. However, I don't encourage him to be upset. I don't say things that are guaranteed to make him nervous or upset. I encourage him in a positive way and if he does cry or get upset, I try to help him but firmly tell him that he will be fine.
These mothers I was talking about are ENCOURAGING the kids to be sad, encouraging them to be late, and encouraging them to depend on mom forever. Just what I have observed myself.
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Post by lorieann13 on Aug 8, 2014 22:21:17 GMT
I have noticed over the last week or so some posts of some of my FB friends about their child going to school that irritates me. 1. One friend posted about her oldest starting 5th grade the next day and that the two younger children were sobbing because they did not want their sister to leave them. One of those younger children is 4 years old and the other is maybe 7 months old. What kind of emotional stuff is she doing that is causing these small children to be so upset? Shouldn't she be building up the excitement for school instead? 2. My cousin posted a picture of her 4 year old going to his pre-K open house with his bottom lip curled out because he was sad. Once again, is she encouraging him to be sad about leaving her? I know it is none of my business and I would never say anything to them, but as a teacher I would hope that parents are fostering a positive attitude about school at home. Children will mirror the attitudes and actions of their parents. My colleagues and I would very hard to make school exciting. It would help if parents are excited as well. If this was only true. It totally depends on the kids. My daughter has always done great on the first day of school. My son on the other hand? Cried every day for 5 days in pre k, kindergarten, and two days for 1st grade. Maybe because he is special needs, or maybe because he is attached to me as I have been a huge part of his life and he has seperation anxiety due to being medically fragile. He thinks people he doesn't know are there to take him away from mommy like what happens for surgeries, procedures etc. I have a friend whose daughter balled her eyes out for 3 days even though the parents were excited and thrilled. Some kids just don't like new places, new people, etc. And um my son was sad when sister went to school. They have a close bond. Gesh |
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msliz
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Post by msliz on Aug 8, 2014 22:27:30 GMT
.... She said she'd go down a waterslide with me last week but she cried her fool eyes out. I won't force her to do something like that so she was asked if she was sure as we sat down to slide. She said yes through tears. 10 meters down the very long side she shouts, "Again, I love this!" all while still dry heaving from crying. It's something that she's learning not to let stop her. Just had to tell you how much this made me smile!  I have a DD with anxiety issues too, and she gets huge high fives from me when I catch her challenging herself like that! |
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newlywoods03
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Post by newlywoods03 on Aug 8, 2014 22:28:09 GMT
My son is going into Pre K this year. He is excited, we are happy for him. Talk about his new school a lot. He is looking forward to having fun on the big playground. Excited to meet new friends. We all are hyping it up a few notches to get him excited and wanting to go to school.
Will that be how he is on the first day off school? Who knows! He is excited now and I don't know if that will carry through to actually stepping foot into a large classroom with lots of children. I'm just not sure how he will react.
If he does get sad or cry, it wouldn't be because we made him afraid or sad to go to school. It wouldn't be from anything we said or did since we have been encouraging.
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Post by Linda on Aug 8, 2014 22:35:08 GMT
there are definitely parents who have separation anxiety and pass it on to their children. And I think that is doing a disservice to their children.
However there are children who don't cope well with change - any change be it good or bad, anticipated or sudden. I have one of those. She can work herself into a tizzy over the smallest change - we don't encourage it, in fact we actively discourage it. But she's the one who will be sobbing herself to sleep the night before school starts...
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J u l e e
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Post by J u l e e on Aug 8, 2014 22:37:58 GMT
Kind of along the same line, but I quite dislike the "I am so not ready for this" mantra that seems so popular. Junior is going to preschool. I am so not ready for this. Junior is playing on the playground with a girl. I am so not ready for this. Junior got his driver's license. I am so not ready for this. Junior is off to college. I am so not ready for this.
Blech.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2014 22:38:12 GMT
I firmly believe the majority of the time a child's attitude is shaped by the parent. However, there ARE those children who aren't excited for school (or other activities) no matter what the positive light is. My dd's oldest three are super excited for school to start (4th, 2nd and 1st) My dd is going to graduate school and sil is going back for a second bachelors. They are all excited about new school supplies and the prospects of a new school year. The the fourth child, a four year old, is going to preschool. He is totally upset by the school talk. Although he doesn't mind the idea of the older kids going to school so he can have all the toys to himself all day. To him school doesn't sound fun and exciting no matter how much everyone else thinks it is. In his opinion he is old enough to stay home  |
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Post by gmcwife1 on Aug 8, 2014 22:40:04 GMT
Children will mirror the attitudes and actions of their parents. This is how we were raised and how I raised my kids too. |
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Post by cadoodlebug on Aug 8, 2014 22:55:00 GMT
haha, I change mine often but I like this one so I'm going to save it. Joy, how do you save it? |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2014 23:01:52 GMT
Go into your profile, hit the edit button on the right then hit settings. Go down to Default BBCode and insert this " " without the "" marks. Clear as mud? ETA: Ugh, it didn't show what I put. I'll try to message you with the verbiage. Thank you!  |
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Post by Sorrel on Aug 8, 2014 23:17:35 GMT
Kind of along the same line, but I quite dislike the "I am so not ready for this" mantra that seems so popular. Junior is going to preschool. I am so not ready for this. Junior is playing on the playground with a girl. I am so not ready for this. Junior got his driver's license. I am so not ready for this. Junior is off to college. I am so not ready for this. Blech. Totally agree! |
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Post by Dixie Lou on Aug 8, 2014 23:22:19 GMT
I've taught summer school for the past few years and there was a little girl who cried the first day then didn't come back. I think she was going into second grade that year. This year I heard her summer school teacher tell her at the end of the first day "No tears tomorrow. OK?" (meaning The girl is going into fourth. I have no idea why she cries when her mom leaves her still. I don't even know her, just recognize her from being a crier. Fortunately for me all of my kids were excited for school to start. They were very social. |
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Post by gryroagain on Aug 8, 2014 23:27:52 GMT
I have a hilarious photo of my youngest DD scowling, arms crossed, on the first day from last year. Kid just doesn't like school. What makes it funnier is we home school, so it's not like she has a long bus ride or annoying peers...her teacher is a bit of a hard ass though.
Some kids just don't like school, no matter how much happy-happy-joy-joy let's learn wee fun the parents do. In my case, I'm the teacher too, and nope- she would rather play mine craft or dance, no matter how fun I try to make it. She was the same in traditional school, not a fan.
My friemd had a photo of her son last year scowling at the bus stop, it warmed my heart- my kid isn't the only one!
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