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Post by gar on Dec 19, 2016 8:50:09 GMT
I hate threads like this. I have been lurking not very much because of zella and I want to make sure she is okay. It's been busy with a funeral and a lot of other stuff going on. But I like to think I made a difference and people would miss me. I guess not. Oh well, a lot of peas made a difference in my life and for that I am grateful. I hope you all have or are having a great holiday season. If it makes any difference to you, I thought of you because of this thread. I'm not much one for posting on these "where is so-and-so?" threads, but it did make me wonder about you and how you're doing. Hope life is feeling okay for you. Oh! Now I know who you are me2! I did worry about you but I didn't know you were still around. Glad to see you here
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me2
Full Member
Posts: 145
Oct 3, 2016 3:32:09 GMT
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Post by me2 on Dec 19, 2016 9:10:20 GMT
I hate threads like this. I have been lurking not very much because of zella and I want to make sure she is okay. It's been busy with a funeral and a lot of other stuff going on. But I like to think I made a difference and people would miss me. I guess not. Oh well, a lot of peas made a difference in my life and for that I am grateful. I hope you all have or are having a great holiday season. If it makes any difference to you, I thought of you because of this thread. I'm not much one for posting on these "where is so-and-so?" threads, but it did make me wonder about you and how you're doing. Hope life is feeling okay for you. Thank you so much! I have always loved your posts even though we are polar opposite politically. I have always found you to be genuine and to really care about others. That's really what matters in life!
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me2
Full Member
Posts: 145
Oct 3, 2016 3:32:09 GMT
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Post by me2 on Dec 19, 2016 9:17:12 GMT
If it makes any difference to you, I thought of you because of this thread. I'm not much one for posting on these "where is so-and-so?" threads, but it did make me wonder about you and how you're doing. Hope life is feeling okay for you. Oh! Now I know who you are me2 ! I did worry about you but I didn't know you were still around. Glad to see you here Honestly, I am not really. I just check on zella because I am worried. I should check in on the chronic pain thread if there is one. I am having surgery January18th. The pain is just too much to bear. I had to go to the ER last week and my pulse was 151 from the pain. So they will be operating again. The last time they did they were in there for 5 1/2 hours. I trust my doctor thankfully. I have now moved 5 times in the last year but I have always had a roof over my head and for that I am grateful. I did find out that my cousin kicked me out so his mother in law could live there. I just wish he had been honest. We don't talk anymore. It's been a really hard year. In addition to moving 5 times, I have had shingles, bronchitis more times than I can count, someone backed into my car and left a dent and didn't leave a note. It has been a tough year. I can't wait for 2017. I am still think about being hospitalized. But I was worried about zella so I came to check on her and saw this thread. With depression two thoughts always go through my head. "No one would care if you disappeared." And, "You are easily replaceable." That and, "You really don't make a difference no matter how hard you try." The last one is tough because I try hard. The holidays are always tough without family but without my cousin they can be unbearable at times. I don't care about presents but I care about presence. My friend I am staying with will be gone for a week. I's tough. But @gar , I won't ever forget your kindness in sending the scarf last year. That thing has traveled with me just as a reminder that someone cares.
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Post by gar on Dec 19, 2016 9:28:23 GMT
Oh! Now I know who you are me2 ! I did worry about you but I didn't know you were still around. Glad to see you here Honestly, I am not really. I just check on zella because I am worried. I should check in on the chronic pain thread if there is one. I am having surgery January18th. The pain is just too much to bear. I had to go to the ER last week and my pulse was 151 from the pain. So they will be operating again. The last time they did they were in there for 5 1/2 hours. I trust my doctor thankfully. I have now moved 5 times in the last year but I have always had a roof over my head and for that I am grateful. I did find out that my cousin kicked me out so his mother in law could live there. I just wish he had been honest. We don't talk anymore. It's been a really hard year. In addition to moving 5 times, I have had shingles, bronchitis more times than I can count, someone backed into my car and left a dent and didn't leave a note. It has been a tough year. I can't wait for 2017. I am still think about being hospitalized. But I was worried about zella so I came to check on her and saw this thread. With depression two thoughts always go through my head. "No one would care if you disappeared." And, "You are easily replaceable." That and, "You really don't make a difference no matter how hard you try." The last one is tough because I try hard. The holidays are always tough without family but without my cousin they can be unbearable at times. I don't care about presents but I care about presence. My friend I am staying with will be gone for a week. I's tough. But @gar , I won't ever forget your kindness in sending the scarf last year. That thing has traveled with me just as a reminder that someone cares. When people care it's not always obvious. Hang in there....I honestly hope 2017 treats you kindly.
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M in Carolina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,128
Jun 29, 2014 12:11:41 GMT
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Post by M in Carolina on Dec 19, 2016 10:15:03 GMT
Oh! Now I know who you are me2 ! I did worry about you but I didn't know you were still around. Glad to see you here Honestly, I am not really. I just check on zella because I am worried. I should check in on the chronic pain thread if there is one. I am having surgery January18th. The pain is just too much to bear. I had to go to the ER last week and my pulse was 151 from the pain. So they will be operating again. The last time they did they were in there for 5 1/2 hours. I trust my doctor thankfully. I have now moved 5 times in the last year but I have always had a roof over my head and for that I am grateful. I did find out that my cousin kicked me out so his mother in law could live there. I just wish he had been honest. We don't talk anymore. It's been a really hard year. In addition to moving 5 times, I have had shingles, bronchitis more times than I can count, someone backed into my car and left a dent and didn't leave a note. It has been a tough year. I can't wait for 2017. I am still think about being hospitalized. But I was worried about zella so I came to check on her and saw this thread. With depression two thoughts always go through my head. "No one would care if you disappeared." And, "You are easily replaceable." That and, "You really don't make a difference no matter how hard you try." The last one is tough because I try hard. The holidays are always tough without family but without my cousin they can be unbearable at times. I don't care about presents but I care about presence. My friend I am staying with will be gone for a week. I's tough. But @gar , I won't ever forget your kindness in sending the scarf last year. That thing has traveled with me just as a reminder that someone cares. I am so sorry! I did think about you and wonder how you were, but I've not been on this board as much in the last month or so, so I thought I'd just missed you. I can't believe your cousin couldn't tell you why he kicked you out! I mean, having to take care of your in-law is sometimes something that you have to do. Not telling someone something like that makes them think that *they* did something wrong. And when you have depression, it's even worse. Because you already have such a negative voice in your head. I wish I lived near you. You could be part of my family--cuz I really, really, really need a new one!
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luckyexwife
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,069
Jun 25, 2014 21:21:08 GMT
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Post by luckyexwife on Dec 19, 2016 11:21:40 GMT
I hate threads like this. I have been lurking not very much because of zella and I want to make sure she is okay. It's been busy with a funeral and a lot of other stuff going on. But I like to think I made a difference and people would miss me. I guess not. Oh well, a lot of peas made a difference in my life and for that I am grateful. I hope you all have or are having a great holiday season. I sincerely apologize for this thread. I have thought of you as well, and prayed that you were in a safe living situation. I'm glad to see the update that you are living with a friend, and that you are getting medical care for the pain. I pray the surgery goes well. Please stay around and share when you are able, and let us know how surgery goes.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Dec 19, 2016 13:23:32 GMT
Just saying hi to me2. It's good to hear an update from you. I hope the new year brings you better health and good experiences.
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Post by tara on Dec 19, 2016 14:29:38 GMT
I hate threads like this. I have been lurking not very much because of zella and I want to make sure she is okay. It's been busy with a funeral and a lot of other stuff going on. But I like to think I made a difference and people would miss me. I guess not. Oh well, a lot of peas made a difference in my life and for that I am grateful. I hope you all have or are having a great holiday season. I thought about you.
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Nink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,955
Location: North Idaho
Jul 1, 2014 23:30:44 GMT
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Post by Nink on Dec 19, 2016 15:33:52 GMT
I hate threads like this. I have been lurking not very much because of zella and I want to make sure she is okay. It's been busy with a funeral and a lot of other stuff going on. But I like to think I made a difference and people would miss me. I guess not. Oh well, a lot of peas made a difference in my life and for that I am grateful. I hope you all have or are having a great holiday season. I thought about you. Many of us have thought about you. But it seemed to me when you left that you didn't feel like you were getting the support you needed from here and it was causing you even more stress. So many of us probably didn't feel it prudent to call you back to it. Doesn't mean we haven't wondered how you were doing. Hope 2017 brings you health and happiness.
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me2
Full Member
Posts: 145
Oct 3, 2016 3:32:09 GMT
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Post by me2 on Dec 20, 2016 4:17:19 GMT
Thanks everyone. I will try to stop in every now and then. I am really grateful for the peas. I was in a really tough spot. I still am but I have a little bit of hope. I have moved 5 times in the last year and I am tired of moving. My cousin was dramatic when he kicked me out at 8 pm at night with nowhere to go. Luckily I had some money in paypal so I was able to get a hotel that night and someone went to pick up more of my stuff the next day. I, too, wish he had just been honest. It really has contributed to my pain and my stress level caused the shingles and bronchitis.
Luckily my friend said I could live with her but she was having marital problems so I moved in with my other friend. I am grateful for her kindness. I am still in contact with all of my friends I have lived with except my cousin so it couldn't have been to bad. I know my cousin has issues and it was so incredibly bizarre that the girls he molested were staying with us. It's weird to ask someone to pass the rolls when you know what happened. I am all for forgiveness but there has to be boundaries.
I am grateful for y'all. I don't think you realize how much you have impacted my life and I am sorry that I left. I was at a place in my life where I truly felt no one cared. I know it's crazy and irrational but mental illness is. The anti depressants have not helped me so now we are looking into ADHD meds and I do jump from one thing to another and my brain can be crazy sometimes. So maybe that is the right diagnosis. That would be a blessing. I also found someone who does the rapid eye therapy and she is willing to do it for free after the holidays. That is huge. And I have seen other huge blessings like a friend offering part of her storage unit for me to use. That will help a lot.
I am hoping the surgery goes well. The pain is unbearable. There is a mass on my left ovary that showed up on an ultrasound that they think is a cyst that ruptured but they won't know until surgery. Less than a month so that's great!
And there is a boy now involved in everything but the timing is way off! Its my friend's husband's childhood best friend. Things were pretty huge for a while but not so really now. He is coming for New Years though and I will let you know how it goes. But I have missed y'all.
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Post by givemecarrots on Dec 29, 2016 1:44:30 GMT
Thena had pitbulls in her avatar, and her son came on the board and let us know she passed, right? apologies if I am remembering wrong.. I liked her too. I'm on Facebook with Thena - I think you are remembering wrong - she just postet on FB 10 minutes ago
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blue tulip
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,005
Jun 25, 2014 20:53:57 GMT
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Post by blue tulip on Dec 29, 2016 1:53:54 GMT
Thena had pitbulls in her avatar, and her son came on the board and let us know she passed, right? apologies if I am remembering wrong.. I liked her too. I'm on Facebook with Thena - I think you are remembering wrong - she just postet on FB 10 minutes ago [br Yep, read on.. We figured it out.
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Post by leftturnonly on Dec 30, 2016 8:06:57 GMT
So they will be operating again. The last time they did they were in there for 5 1/2 hours. I trust my doctor thankfully. I have now moved 5 times in the last year but I have always had a roof over my head and for that I am grateful. I did find out that my cousin kicked me out so his mother in law could live there. I just wish he had been honest. We don't talk anymore. It's been a really hard year. Best of luck and fast, healing resolution for your surgery. Your cousin lied to you. Flat out. When people care it's not always obvious. Hang in there....I honestly hope 2017 treats you kindly. Many of us have thought about you. But it seemed to me when you left that you didn't feel like you were getting the support you needed from here and it was causing you even more stress. So many of us probably didn't feel it prudent to call you back to it. Doesn't mean we haven't wondered how you were doing. Hope 2017 brings you health and happiness. & I am grateful for y'all. I don't think you realize how much you have impacted my life and I am sorry that I left. I was at a place in my life where I truly felt no one cared. I know it's crazy and irrational but mental illness is. You sound like you are doing a bit better, and that's what matters. Come here when it does you good and don't come here when something is liable to make you feel bad. That's pretty much what most everybody does. It's perfectly OK.
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