|
|
Post by CarolinaGirl71 on Dec 27, 2016 18:46:21 GMT
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE stop. Today - or ASAP! My friend died of a heart attack yesterday - she was 53 years old. She had smoked for years and years - about 35. Her DH, two DS, and granddaughter, as well as many, many friends, lives will be forever changed without her here. I am so sad.  Edited to correct details on age and add - * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * to all of you who struggle with cigarette addiction, I didn't mean to sound flip, or like it is easy to quit. I know it is not easy. I'm just so heartbroken over this loss, I probably didn't express myself clearly. Maybe it's because she's younger than I am that it hit me so hard. She and I worked together several years ago, and kept up on Facebook - I have occasionally seen her over the last 5 years. It just stuns me to think that she is gone - she was so fun-loving, life of the party, very caring and kind - I'm just stunned. She loved her husband fiercely, and her sons and granddaughter were the light of her life. It's just sad and I don't want anyone else to experience this. |
|
Kerri W
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,836 
Location: Kentucky
|
Post by Kerri W on Dec 27, 2016 18:55:55 GMT
I'm so sorry CarolinaGirl71 . I don't understand smoking either, but also have never suffered an addiction. My thoughts and prayers to you and your friend's family. |
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 19:32:36 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 27, 2016 19:36:17 GMT
I'm so sorry. I'm 4 years smoke free and I tell everyone it was the best thing I've ever done.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 19:32:36 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 27, 2016 20:12:52 GMT
Oh I am SO sorry! I can't imagine losing a family member so young. So sad for her family and friends.
|
|
|
|
Post by lucyg on Dec 27, 2016 20:35:08 GMT
I'm sorry about your friend.  I quit smoking 13 years ago next week. I haven't had a cigarette or an anxiety-free day since. I put on 50 lbs that I'm still carrying. It has been very, very difficult. I'm still glad I quit. But never doubt the incredible difficulty of quitting smoking. It is rarely as simple as Just Quit Now. |
|
|
|
Post by jeremysgirl on Dec 27, 2016 20:45:50 GMT
I'm sorry to hear about your friend. Smoking is the toughest addiction I have ever done battle with. I smoke. I quit. I smoke. I quit. I have never been able to kick the habit for good. I keep trying.
|
|
|
|
Post by kimpossible on Dec 27, 2016 20:46:36 GMT
My DH lost both his parents within 8 months of each other this past year. Both were long time smokers, both died of lung cancer. However, each died of different complications from their cancer - one was unable to breathe due to pulmonary compromise and the other had cancer metastasize to his bones.
Both suffered greatly in the last few months of their lives. It was hard for both their kids and grandkids to see them suffer so much.
I couldn't agree with you more!
|
|
J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
|
Post by J u l e e on Dec 27, 2016 20:47:35 GMT
I'm sorry about your friend. I quit smoking 13 years ago next week. I haven't had a cigarette or an anxiety-free day since. I put on 50 lbs that I'm still carrying. It has been very, very difficult. I'm still glad I quit. But never doubt the incredible difficulty of quitting smoking. It is rarely as simple as Just Quit Now. (((HUGS))) I didn't want to like your post, but this is so honest. ETA - same, jeremysgirl. And I so agree about quitting being so hard (not a smoker, but I cannot seem to quit drinking Diet Coke, so I can't judge). OP, I am very sorry for the loss of your friend. |
|
River
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,627
Jun 26, 2014 15:26:04 GMT
|
Post by River on Dec 27, 2016 20:57:24 GMT
My brother who is 49 years old had the "widow maker" heart attack just a few months ago. He was so lucky that he was working in a nursing home when it happened and was able to get care quickly. His doctor said the only reason they could see for it was the fact he has smoked since he was 16. He had surgery immediately and one week later had another heart attack and surgery. He has still not been able to quit smoking. I know he's trying every method out there with doctors help and still hasn't even decreased the amount he smokes per day. I worry about him daily.
I'm so thankful that's something I never started. I do know addiction of another sort though and know just how hard it was to kick it. I pray my brother will find his key to kick his soon too.
|
|
|
|
Post by refugeepea on Dec 27, 2016 21:00:57 GMT
I quit smoking 13 years ago next week. I haven't had a cigarette or an anxiety-free day since. I put on 50 lbs that I'm still carrying. It has been very, very difficult. I'm sorry.  I understand anxiety and gaining weight. Isn't recreational marijuana legal now in CA? Just a thought.  You could make yourself some brownies rather than smoking, but then there's probably the munchie problem.  |
|
inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
|
Post by inkedup on Dec 27, 2016 21:11:12 GMT
How awful. I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. She was way too young.
|
|
|
|
Post by CarolinaGirl71 on Dec 27, 2016 21:36:28 GMT
I'm sorry about your friend. I quit smoking 13 years ago next week. I haven't had a cigarette or an anxiety-free day since. I put on 50 lbs that I'm still carrying. It has been very, very difficult. I'm still glad I quit. But never doubt the incredible difficulty of quitting smoking. It is rarely as simple as Just Quit Now. Lucy, and all of you who struggle with cigarette addiction, I didn't mean to sound flip, or like it is easy to quit. I know it is not easy. I'm just so heartbroken over this loss, I probably didn't express myself clearly. Maybe it's because she's younger than I am that it hit me so hard. She and I worked together several years ago, and kept up on Facebook - I have occasionally seen her over the last 5 years. It just stuns me to think that she is gone - she was so fun-loving, life of the party, very caring and kind - I'm just stunned. She loved her husband fiercely, and her sons and granddaughter were the light of her life. It's just sad and I don't want anyone else to experience this. |
|
craftykitten
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,304
Jun 26, 2014 7:39:32 GMT
|
Post by craftykitten on Dec 27, 2016 22:30:10 GMT
I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend.
The thing is, sometimes people who have healthy lives and no bad habits have heart attacks or get cancer. Maybe it's a genetic thing. Maybe it's just plain old bad luck. Realistically, I know that stopping smoking and eating healthily and exercising all reduce your chance of something happening. But it won't help you or her family to 'blame' anyone or anything for her death. My condolences to you and those who knew her.
|
|
|
|
Post by CarolinaGirl71 on Dec 27, 2016 23:15:13 GMT
I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. The thing is, sometimes people who have healthy lives and no bad habits have heart attacks or get cancer. Maybe it's a genetic thing. Maybe it's just plain old bad luck. Realistically, I know that stopping smoking and eating healthily and exercising all reduce your chance of something happening. But it won't help you or her family to 'blame' anyone or anything for her death. My condolences to you and those who knew her. I'm not blaming anything, or judging anyone for their habits. I agree, sometimes there's no explanation for why otherwise healthy people die. But, the evidence is clear about women, smoking and heart disease. (At least, it's clear to me - I'm not going to argue with anyone about it). Maybe she would have died yesterday if she never smoked, but since she did, I'm hoping others might learn or be motivated from her choices. I'm not judging her, or anyone else, I'm just heartbroken for her family, the clients she worked with, and everyone who knew her. She will be missed, and her sweet grandchild will probably not even remember her. I posted this from the emotion of sadness and heartbreak - hoping to help motivate others, not to judge them. I don't smoke, but I have many other bad habits that I certainly need to change. Last apology from me on this thread. |
|
|
|
Post by AussieMeg on Dec 27, 2016 23:23:51 GMT
You don't need to apologise CarolinaGirl71. It's obvious that you were posting out of sadness and possibly even frustration. Sure, plenty of people die from heart attacks and cancer who have never smoked (my dear Poppa was one!) but there is no denying that smoking CAN and DOES cause these things. I think it's actually important to "blame" someone's death on smoking (if that's the cause) so as to serve as a warning to others who still smoke. I smoked from the age of 14 to 21, then again for another 6 years or so from in my late 20s. I know how hard it is to give up. I haven't had a cigarette in 16 years but I still dream about smoking every now and then. |
|
|
|
Post by papersilly on Dec 27, 2016 23:28:07 GMT
i know someone who smokes. she is 42 with stage 3 lung cancer. she has 4 amazing kids and a grandchild. she hasn't stopped. you would think she would have after the diagnosis, the constant sickness, etc but nope.
|
|
|
|
Post by jeremysgirl on Dec 27, 2016 23:57:07 GMT
CarolinaGirl71 I did not interpret your post as judgmental. I did not take it as a hand slap. I can only imagine how sad you feel right now at the loss of your friend. I hear you. I hear from my loved ones all the time. I know everyone would be thrilled if I quit smoking for good. I disagree.with you AussieMeg. I think people know full well the consequences of their actions. If I were to get cancer or have a heart attack I know inside I would be feeling terrible about the damage I have willingly done to myself through cigarettes. I don't think it does any good to rub salt in a wound. I think there's a difference between saying hey, I care about you please take care of yourself and you did this thing to yourself so we have no empathy for you. From my perspective as a smoker, I have seen both kinds of people. There are some who say things nicely because they truly care and know that addiction is not easy to overcome. And there are those who come off very self righteous and have never struggled with an addiction who don't offer any kindness. Just judgment. I read the surgeon general's warning on every pack of cigarettes I buy. I know the risk I'm taking. And if the day comes that I have to face my own mortality because of it, there's nothing you will be able to say to me to make me feel worse than I will already be feeling. The guilt of it will probably kill me. I will try again. And again. And again. And hopefully I'll be one of the lucky ones.
|
|
craftykitten
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,304
Jun 26, 2014 7:39:32 GMT
|
Post by craftykitten on Dec 28, 2016 0:11:15 GMT
You don't need to apologise CarolinaGirl71 . It's obvious that you were posting out of sadness and possibly even frustration. Sure, plenty of people die from heart attacks and cancer who have never smoked (my dear Poppa was one!) but there is no denying that smoking CAN and DOES cause these things. I think it's actually important to "blame" someone's death on smoking (if that's the cause) so as to serve as a warning to others who still smoke. I smoked from the age of 14 to 21, then again for another 6 years or so from in my late 20s. I know how hard it is to give up. I haven't had a cigarette in 16 years but I still dream about smoking every now and then. You don't need to apologise CarolinaGirl71. I know you are hurting and I know this is a wake up call for us all, always, about our own bad habits. Im sorry if I made you feel you were wrong in expressing your sadness and your desire for no-one else to go through this. But I come from the other side - I am a cancer survivor. And the hardest thing, without a doubt, was when I told people I had cancer they would say 'well why? Do you smoke? Do you drink?' And the answer to both those questions was no, I was a teetotal vegetarian who has never smoked anything, who just had the terrible misfortune to get bowel cancer at 26. But what happens if I said yes? Does that make it ok? Does it make my suffering any less because it is a result of choices that I made? Of course I realise that is not the case. But when you are experiencing an illness like that it is very difficult to look at things objectively and I found people's judgement very difficult to bear. So it makes me cringe when someone gets cancer and others say "well it was because they smoked/drank/were obese". What good does it do to examine one's bad habits after the fact? anyway, these are rhetorical questions because it's midnight here and I am probably not making much sense. It was my surgery anniversary (7 years!) on Christmas Eve and I guess you touched a nerve. Again, I'm sorry for your loss. Peace out. |
|
|
|
Post by Darcy Collins on Dec 28, 2016 0:11:59 GMT
My aunt suffered mightily to quit smoking. She was on the quit, smoke, quit for a decade or more. It wasn't the loss of her BIL to lung cancer at 47(!), but his wife - a non-smoker who succumbed to the then unknown dangers of second hand smoke just a year later also to lung cancer that finally helped her quit for good. Lung cancer is awful - but tbh my husband's grandfather had emphysema from smoking - holy hell that was just absolute hell. You pretty much watch them suffocate slowly. He spent the last month in the hospital begging every one who visited to never smoke when he could talk - it was truly horrifying. Nicotine addiction is tough - positive thoughts to all you peas who suffer from it.
|
|
|
|
Post by lucyg on Dec 28, 2016 0:34:06 GMT
I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. The thing is, sometimes people who have healthy lives and no bad habits have heart attacks or get cancer. Maybe it's a genetic thing. Maybe it's just plain old bad luck. Realistically, I know that stopping smoking and eating healthily and exercising all reduce your chance of something happening. But it won't help you or her family to 'blame' anyone or anything for her death. My condolences to you and those who knew her. I'm not blaming anything, or judging anyone for their habits. I agree, sometimes there's no explanation for why otherwise healthy people die. But, the evidence is clear about women, smoking and heart disease. (At least, it's clear to me - I'm not going to argue with anyone about it). Maybe she would have died yesterday if she never smoked, but since she did, I'm hoping others might learn or be motivated from her choices. I'm not judging her, or anyone else, I'm just heartbroken for her family, the clients she worked with, and everyone who knew her. She will be missed, and her sweet grandchild will probably not even remember her. I posted this from the emotion of sadness and heartbreak - hoping to help motivate others, not to judge them. I don't smoke, but I have many other bad habits that I certainly need to change. Last apology from me on this thread. Absolutely no need to apologize or explain anything. I was trying to add another dimension to the discussion, not hand slap. I'm sorry it felt that way to you. |
|
|
|
Post by flanz on Dec 28, 2016 0:39:09 GMT
I'm sorry about your friend. I quit smoking 13 years ago next week. I haven't had a cigarette or an anxiety-free day since. I put on 50 lbs that I'm still carrying. It has been very, very difficult. I'm still glad I quit. But never doubt the incredible difficulty of quitting smoking. It is rarely as simple as Just Quit Now. Congratulations, Lucy! You have done something sooo healthy for your body, and it is very difficult to do! I hope you feel a sense of pride and accomplishment. I'm sorry that you have anxiety as a result... (((HUGS))) |
|
|
|
Post by CarolinaGirl71 on Dec 28, 2016 0:44:09 GMT
You don't need to apologise CarolinaGirl71 . It's obvious that you were posting out of sadness and possibly even frustration. Sure, plenty of people die from heart attacks and cancer who have never smoked (my dear Poppa was one!) but there is no denying that smoking CAN and DOES cause these things. I think it's actually important to "blame" someone's death on smoking (if that's the cause) so as to serve as a warning to others who still smoke. I smoked from the age of 14 to 21, then again for another 6 years or so from in my late 20s. I know how hard it is to give up. I haven't had a cigarette in 16 years but I still dream about smoking every now and then. You don't need to apologise CarolinaGirl71 . I know you are hurting and I know this is a wake up call for us all, always, about our own bad habits. Im sorry if I made you feel you were wrong in expressing your sadness and your desire for no-one else to go through this. But I come from the other side - I am a cancer survivor. And the hardest thing, without a doubt, was when I told people I had cancer they would say 'well why? Do you smoke? Do you drink?' And the answer to both those questions was no, I was a teetotal vegetarian who has never smoked anything, who just had the terrible misfortune to get bowel cancer at 26. But what happens if I said yes? Does that make it ok? Does it make my suffering any less because it is a result of choices that I made? Of course I realise that is not the case. But when you are experiencing an illness like that it is very difficult to look at things objectively and I found people's judgement very difficult to bear. So it makes me cringe when someone gets cancer and others say "well it was because they smoked/drank/were obese". What good does it do to examine one's bad habits after the fact? anyway, these are rhetorical questions because it's midnight here and I am probably not making much sense. It was my surgery anniversary (7 years!) on Christmas Eve and I guess you touched a nerve. Again, I'm sorry for your loss. Peace out. (((Hugs))) - Happy Anniversary!!! Here's to many more healthy years! |
|
|
|
Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Dec 28, 2016 0:47:44 GMT
I will try again. And again. And again. And hopefully I'll be one of the lucky ones. I hope you are, too. You're a lovely person and I'd like to see you live as healthily and happily as possible. |
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 19:32:36 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 28, 2016 0:56:55 GMT
My brother who is 49 years old had the "widow maker" heart attack just a few months ago. He was so lucky that he was working in a nursing home when it happened and was able to get care quickly. His doctor said the only reason they could see for it was the fact he has smoked since he was 16. He had surgery immediately and one week later had another heart attack and surgery. He has still not been able to quit smoking. I know he's trying every method out there with doctors help and still hasn't even decreased the amount he smokes per day. I worry about him daily. I'm so thankful that's something I never started. I do know addiction of another sort though and know just how hard it was to kick it. I pray my brother will find his key to kick his soon too. I know you said he has tried everything, but has he tried vaping? I know it's not common in some place but it was truly the only thing that worked for me. And I was a pack a day smoker who had tried everything. |
|
|
|
Post by Basket1lady on Dec 28, 2016 2:05:34 GMT
Amen. My mother had a heart attack at age 46 and died. One month before I got married. I was 22 and my brother was 20. She never saw me get married or walk down the aisle. She never held one of her grandchildren or celebrated so many milestones with us.
|
|
|
|
Post by librarylady on Dec 28, 2016 2:15:17 GMT
My husband was a 2 pack a day smoker for about 50 years (he began when he was age 10). Over the years he stopped for 6 weeks once, but then went back. That nicotine called his name. Then, his younger brother died with heart attack. 3 months later DH had to have a stent put in his heart. Dr. told him he HAD to stop or he was going to die an early death.
DH took a month to get mentally ready. Then, he counted how many he smoked in one day, and began to decrease that amount by one cigarette each day, until he was down to 1 cigarette on that last day. He waited until evening to have it. It has been 16 years now and he has not returned to smoking.
He thinks the "decrease by 1 per day" is how he ended it with no severe withdrawal pain. He takes pride in finally slaying the need for cigarettes.
I wish all of you who smoke could quit. I have watched 3 dear friends die with lung cancer and it is awful for them and the family.
Condolences OP on the loss of your friend.
|
|
|
|
Post by mikklynn on Dec 28, 2016 3:05:56 GMT
CarolinaGirl71 I am so sorry for your loss. It's so hard to lose a friend or family member at a young age. I know from DH's experiences how hard it is to quit smoking. He tried and failed. He finally quit cold turkey the day he was diagnosed with cancer and told he had a year to live. He never had another cigarette. Thank God he is still here and battling his cancer nearly 10 years later. My point is keep trying! No judgement, just please, keep trying to quit.
|
|
|
|
Post by worrywart on Dec 28, 2016 3:54:21 GMT
I am so sorry about your friend.
I have quit smoking twice..once for 9 months and the last time was 14 years ago, for good. It was super hard even with the help of Nicorette gum but somehow I was able to stick with it. Thank goodness and I am still so happy that I did it. It can be done!
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 19:32:36 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 28, 2016 16:11:45 GMT
I'm sorry to hear about your friend. Smoking is the toughest addiction I have ever done battle with. I smoke. I quit. I smoke. I quit. I have never been able to kick the habit for good. I keep trying. The reason I don't know my exact quit date is because it wasn't as simple as just quitting. I tapered off over the course of several months until one day I just didn't have a cigarette. It isn't easy. To those fighting the fight--don't give up. |
|
|
|
Post by tiffanyr on Dec 28, 2016 17:03:54 GMT
I was diagnosed with breast cancer in April and I have smoked for 30 years. I quit smoking on October 23! It is a struggle but so far I am winning. My husband has smoked just as long and he has already given in to temptation but still working towards quitting. Believe me when I say I have struggled with the thought of whether I caused this cancer but I have decided it doesn't really matter at this point...what's done is done.
|
|
I understand anxiety and gaining weight. Isn't recreational marijuana legal now in CA? Just a thought. 
You could make yourself some brownies rather than smoking, but then there's probably the munchie problem. 
