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Oct 10, 2024 12:15:14 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 14, 2014 21:51:11 GMT
I can see how getting a diagnosis like Parkinsons would feel like the final straw in very long line of struggles. Maybe he just felt he wasn't able to fight one more thing. So terribly sad.
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ReneeH20
Full Member
Posts: 452
Jun 28, 2014 16:00:48 GMT
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Post by ReneeH20 on Aug 14, 2014 22:22:39 GMT
I have been thinking about a Robin Williams a lot and the public's lack of understanding of depression especially in men. I have been married to a man with depression for 23 years. He was diagnosed with it before I met him.
* Men of certain generations were taught to be tough and suck it up. This prevents some of them from getting help. Plus there is still a stigma against people with mental health issues. They will be ON at work or socially and collapse exhausted at home. You probably know people who are depressed and would never guess it.
* Medications don't always work. Some have sexual side affects that make them feel like less than a man and they stop taking medications. Some have the unpleasant side affects of fuzzy thinking or feeling nothing. They would rather feel something than nothing. Also quite a number of people with depression stop taking medications when the start to feel better and then fall back into depression. Some medications like Zoloft stop working over time (years).
* Men frequently self-medicate with alcohol and drugs.
* The first step to getting help can be exhausting due to the depression. The hoops that you have to jump through to get to see a psychiatrist are daunting for a person without depression (getting help for my teen daughter who was diagnosed with depression 2 years ago). Don't get me started on therapists that don't understand depression. Posts on my FB that say please get help with a phone number are irritating to me. Offer to help the person through the process.
* Everything could be going great (media is focused on all the things going wrong in RW's life) and the person with depression can still feel bad. The way they think and feel is not logical to a person who is not depressed.
I have other thoughts about it, but will stop for now. I hope Robin is at peace. I hope his family is able to find some comfort in their grief. I hope treatments for depression improve and getting help is easier and less of a stigma.
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Post by jillonthehill on Aug 14, 2014 23:36:53 GMT
I never saw an episode of "The Crazy Ones" because I rarely watch television, but if I could turn the clock back, I'd watch it religiously, not only because I loved watching him in anything he did, but because if it was still on the air, the odds are that he'd still be here with us.
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Post by lindywholoveskids on Aug 15, 2014 0:29:46 GMT
Robin was a very shy kid, and acting / comedy helped him / starting at maybe 17(?)
Depression isn't really understood . It's common for people to take their lives when they say they are doing well.
I'm glad there is a dialogue now so that there is less shame .
And on Facebook and elsewhere the suicide Hotline number is being put out there.
Thanks to his wife fir coming out about the newer struggle with Early Parkinson's
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bomo
Full Member
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Jun 26, 2014 15:54:49 GMT
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Post by bomo on Aug 15, 2014 1:39:28 GMT
His death has bothered me a lot too. More so than other celebs. I think it may be because he brought so much joy and laughter to people its hard to believe that he was in such a dark place himself. So very sad. Such a tragic loss. Well sai
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imsirius
Prolific Pea
Call it as I see it.
Posts: 7,661
Location: Floating in the black veil.
Jul 12, 2014 19:59:28 GMT
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Post by imsirius on Aug 15, 2014 15:33:15 GMT
Parkinson's can exacerbate existing depression symptoms, so maybe that had a lot to do with his downward spiral the last few weeks of his life (as some have said in interviews). It was said that he had known for a while so that explains a lot.
Michael J. Fox made a statement that, he too, went into a severe depression for a year after being diagnosed. He turned to alcohol and drugs to get him through it. Parkinson's alters the dopamine in the brain and that can very well cause depression and make already diagnosed symptoms worse very quickly.
It makes a lot of sense now as to why RW was in such despair and chose to end his life. It would have gone downhill very quickly and maybe he wanted to go out on his own terms.
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Post by lindywholoveskids on Aug 16, 2014 6:14:21 GMT
lets keep remembering Robin!
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Post by PEArfect on Aug 16, 2014 6:20:24 GMT
I wasn't sure where to share this. I didn't want to start another thread, so I hope it's appropriate to share here. I've been reading at a widows(ers) board. They have a section for suicides, so of course they have been discussing Robin Williams. One of the members shared her story and I thought I would share it here. A different perspective for some.
"I am very saddened as well because for me too-- it hits too close to home. Along with sadness, I also find myself so frustrated at the ignorance of the general public. When all of a sudden the local new is talking about warning signs and the hotlines, and countless ways to prevent such tragedy through our mental health systems-- this is a complete joke! I have mentioned before that truly suicidal people who suffer from mental disorders like bipolar or borderline (like my husband) do not display these "classic" signs. they themselves don't really even realize what they are doing while suffering a manic state. They won't call hotline, they wont ask for help, because in that state, they don't know they need help. They are not dying because they can;t stand the pain-- often they die because they can't stand the pain they feel they have bestowed on their loved one. Selfish--- ugggg-- no way! my husband's suicide was the greatest act of selflessness! he loved life more than anyone I have know, but he didn't want to be that burden he felt he was to me and his boys-- and guess what?? IT was a burden. As painful as it is to admit it, the roller coaster we lived for 3-5 yrs prior was horrific. I loved him would have never ever left him and he knew that, so he had to leave us. How do you fault that? How do you call that selfish? and the system of mental health---- bah-- I laugh in their faces as I see them this week on TV talking about giving the help so many need-- really? Thanks so much for discharging my husband 24 hours after he took a bottle of xanax-- making me take him home with the words from a so called professional the he "clearly is not suicidal"-- I begged, I pleaded, I cried for them to keep him. I sent my children away that night on a school night so I could stand suicide watch on my husband who was "clearly not suicidal". I stayed awake til 3AM. I checked on him at 3:30. I allowed myself to fall asleep. At 4:30 AM I awaken to a loud noise-- and there he was fallen on the bathroom floor from hanging himself--- yes, I am bitter. Yes, I am saddened, and yes I find myself wanting to spit at the television as they interview there professionals about suicide-- causes, warning signs, help lines! BS---- they only people who truly know and understand this horrible thing called suicide are those who have survived it! Sorry just needed to get it out!"
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Post by lindywholoveskids on Aug 16, 2014 8:45:14 GMT
thanks, PEArfect. no words. I am just glad you shared this.
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Post by jamh on Aug 16, 2014 12:44:38 GMT
His death has bothered me a lot too. More so than other celebs. I think it may be because he brought so much joy and laughter to people its hard to believe that he was in such a dark place himself. So very sad. Such a tragic loss. His wife continues to say that he was sober, so I am thinking that the news of the Parkinson's disease was the final straw for Robin. From what I am hearing from the TV "experts," treating someone with clinical depression and Parkinson's is very difficult, and Parkinson's is a very bad disease(my uncle had it). I am thinking the severe depression, the shock of the Parkinson's diagnosis, and alleged cash flow problems was just too much for him to bear. JamH
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YooHoot
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,432
Jun 26, 2014 3:11:50 GMT
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Post by YooHoot on Aug 16, 2014 13:00:09 GMT
Robin Williams' death has been on my mind a great deal too. I've never felt this saddened at a celebrity death before. He had given so much to others through his comedy and charity work and the idea that nothing could fill him up enough to want to stay here bothers me a great deal. I read an article last night, and I know it is just one person's opinion, but they discussed the things that had been going on in his life the last few years. It was reported that his divorces cost him 30 million dollars. He had to start taking jobs that he didn't want, just for the money. He felt ashamed that he had to take on projects that he didn't believe in just for the paycheck. He wasn't on the short list for any major Hollywood movies any longer. He had to take supporting and bit parts just for the paycheck because his bills were piling up. He had quietly tried to sell a large property he owns in the Napa area for the last few years. It hadn't sold and was formally listed in April. He said he didn't need that lifestyle, and I don't think having to sell it bothered him as much as it not selling. Perhaps if it did, and his debts were lowered, it would have been enough. Then the last thing he did for television, The Crazy Ones, was cancelled. He was so happy to have that series because it meant regular income again. When it was cancelled, it hit him hard. He was extremely embarrassed and felt he was no longer marketable. He couldn't get major movies, and now even going back to television after 30 years didn't pan out. He was deeply ashamed and felt he had let everyone on the cast down. So for a man already dealing with severe depression, a recent heart surgery, and the "last ditch" effort to gain dependable employment failing, it was all too much. When I first heard, I thought, how could he do this to his family? After reading about his financial troubles and perceived inability to make an income, he probably felt he was an embarrassment to his family and that they would be better off without him. I'm wondering if he had a substantial death policy that he felt he was leaving to his wife to fix all the debt issues. I never saw an episode of "The Crazy Ones" because I rarely watch television, but if I could turn the clock back, I'd watch it religiously, not only because I loved watching him in anything he did, but because if it was still on the air, the odds are that he'd still be here with us. I think all that and the Parkinson's disease diagnosis was too much for him to bear.
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YooHoot
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,432
Jun 26, 2014 3:11:50 GMT
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Post by YooHoot on Aug 16, 2014 13:04:01 GMT
His death has bothered me a lot too. More so than other celebs. I think it may be because he brought so much joy and laughter to people its hard to believe that he was in such a dark place himself. So very sad. Such a tragic loss. His wife continues to say that he was sober, so I am thinking that the news of the Parkinson's disease was the final straw for Robin. From what I am hearing from the TV "experts," treating someone with clinical depression and Parkinson's is very difficult, and Parkinson's is a very bad disease(my uncle had it). I am thinking the severe depression, the shock of the Parkinson's diagnosis, and alleged cash flow problems was just too much for him to bear. JamH Just typed the same thing before I read your post. Exactly what I was thinking.
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Post by christine58 on Aug 16, 2014 14:40:48 GMT
I never saw an episode of "The Crazy Ones" because I rarely watch television, but if I could turn the clock back, I'd watch it religiously, not only because I loved watching him in anything he did, but because if it was still on the air, the odds are that he'd still be here with us. No offense intended but I highly doubt if the series had survived that he'd still be alive. He suffered from terrible depression and a series success was not going to cure that. Look at all the success he had in the past---in our eyes. Didn't matter....depression caused him to not see the person we saw...but then again...not a one of us here really "knew" him. I think that's what has bothered me since he killed himself. The many FB comments about why he did he do this when he had such success etc. We saw only one side of him. Not a ONE of us here or other places that were fans truly knew the pain he was in. I know people search for answers when tragedies happen and many are now acting like "their" world has come to an end because he has committed suicide (I saw those type of comments in many places)...No it hasn't. The only people who have the 'right' to feel that way are his family members. We can be sad and mourn the loss of someone we loved to watch act or do comedy. The BEST thing we all could do----be more compassionate to friends and family who suffer daily from this terrible disease. Off my soap box
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Post by jumperhop on Aug 16, 2014 16:51:31 GMT
I have been thinking a lot about this too. Didn't he know he was the funniest guy in the world? Shows You how powerful mental illness is. I don't even want to imagine a world without his humor. He had no script for the Genie in Alladin, he was Brilliant.
Thanks for the laughs! There will always be a special place in my heart for you. Jen
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Post by lindywholoveskids on Aug 16, 2014 17:10:52 GMT
Christine- thanks for sharing this. He was severely depressed, and probably in a hole that he couldn't come up from. His friends from Rehab said they couldn't connect with him in the last few weeks.
Even though the family possibly understood his illnesses, it must be so painful to have lost him.
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Deleted
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Oct 10, 2024 12:15:14 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 24, 2014 5:38:16 GMT
I haven't been on here in a while and just got caught up. I know a few people (family members and friends) who have acute depression. I liken it to alcoholism. You can get treatment (therapy + meds) but it never goes away. You keep it at bay. You keep on top of it. You seek fine-tuning when things get tougher. You constantly go for Rx-tweaking. But it could take you over and get the worst of you if you're at a weak point, like Mr. Williams was. Nothing and no one helps the pain (except for constant professional help). He probably got tired of the fight.
While I have never dealt with depression (or even anxiety) myself, I'm going through a worrysome, painful medical situation that's been ongoing for 40 years. It's gotten to the point where it's getting worse and I'm living in an area where NO doctors have been able to help. It's a helpless, hopeless situation. I told my husband that I've been strong my entire life and have been able to carry on, but if THIS is how life will be from hereon out, then I understand the severity of desperation.
I haven't read anything on here about possible accountability to the center he was most recently in (did they let him go too soon?), and to his wife. She obviously knew about his desperation and they were newlyweds. My husband is a heart patient and if he gets up in the middle of the night, I check on him. If he's napping for more than an hour, I check on him. If he went to sleep in another room (especially if he's depressed), I'd CHECK ON HIM! I'd never leave him alone ALL NIGHT and then walk out of the house in the morning, assuming he was asleep. EVER. I would have done everything in my power to keep a watch over him, constantly. Maybe install a secret baby monitor? Maybe insist he has someone stay in his room? Maybe call a professional if he's that despondent??? Something doesn't sound kosher to me there.....
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Post by k8smom on Aug 24, 2014 6:00:11 GMT
Meeee to. I lost a sister to suicide and she was also an attractive, vivacious, bubbly person and it just didn't make sense to a lot of people. I still struggle with it, decades later. You just never really know what's happening inside other people's heads and depression has a strong grip on some. Very sad.
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Post by 2peafaithful on Aug 24, 2014 18:20:29 GMT
Thank you, OP for posting the link to the interview.
Lexica-I am glad you wrote what you did. It is a great post and insight into his situation.
My heart is still so very sad at the loss of his life. Such talent, such a beautiful heart and gift to humanity.
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Post by 2peafaithful on Aug 24, 2014 18:26:42 GMT
Renee-I agree with your post. My dad has suffered from depression much of his life. His father was an alcoholic and now as an adult I know my dad was a dry drunk during much of our upbringing. He was hard working but angry, abusive, we had to walk on egg shells, he lashed out and wanted little to do with real relationships at home.
When he finally gave up all that mattered in life and got what he wanted (leaving his wife and our family) he fell into deep depression and starting counseling and taking medication, He wept and apologized many times for not taking care of himself sooner. My heart broke for him. It wasn't too late for him but what mattered to him was gone. He still to this day will call my mom his gift and the true gem in his life that he threw away and what a fool he was. He stayed on meds for many years and than stopped. I don't think he is currently on them but still struggles. I am guessing the side effect making him not want to take them because I know he realizes he is depressed. He will talk about it in conversation. He self medicates and honestly I think hope he doesn't live to an old age.
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