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Post by scrapaddict702 on Jan 27, 2017 16:05:53 GMT
M'eh. To each their own. I think it's a problem because I just don't see it happening the other way around. If there is some huge meme trend for men's hobbies and hiding things from their wives that I don't know about, then I'm happy to stand corrected... Every single meme I have seen regarding scrapbooking, I have seen repeated on DHs hobby groups. (Warhammer and airsoft). Ones about hiding purchases, ones about 'if I die she's going to sell it for what I told her it cost', ones about the hobby being shopping rather than X....they're all there. Awesome, I am glad that it isn't a one way street then!
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Elsabelle
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,612
Jun 26, 2014 2:04:55 GMT
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Post by Elsabelle on Jan 27, 2017 17:08:47 GMT
I've definitely seen this behavior the other way around with quite a few couples. We made plans with a couple friend of ours - guys take the kids to the local theme park while the ladies spent the day together. DH sent me a picture of them and I joked about them buying the $8 beers. She was mad as hell and started texting him to stop buying beer. She mothers him to death and has a tight grip on all the monies. But he seems to like being mothered so... Another couple - the husband is life long musician. His wife never let him spend a dime. One time he bought an amp without asking. They had company over and she shamed him about it all night. It was horrible to witness that. Neither of these couples were in debt so it wasn't about spending money they didn't have. It was about control.
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Post by tinksmommy on Jan 27, 2017 17:45:42 GMT
Sheesh. Gender bias? Come on...... the memes are more poking fun at the shopping addiction that can be a factor in our hobby. I think they are hilarious, personally, and don't think it is some overarching plot. I have a career, am a strong independent woman, have always made my own money and still ask my hubby about big purchases. I don't have to but I do it out of respect for my husband. He could care less about what I buy. I tease him about Amazon Prime packages that show up on my doorstep out of no where. I don't really care about those either. It's all good. I hate these meme's too. and I feel bad for the person who thinks they are funny because they are true for them. You ask your hubby and I don't. I either inform or make a decision that he is not interested or doesn't care. If I am going to a getaway I say, "I have a getaway on Jan 3rd in Savannah until Sunday." I would never even think to ask his permission or put up with any commentary by him on what I buy, where I go, what I do. I do think it is kind to share with him what my plans are and he shares his with me, but we do not ask for permission. I am open to discussion if he had an issue with something.
Now here's what I do hide: there are certain special treats I love, like a box of Aunt Sally's original pralines. He will buy me a box for a special occasion, but I try not to sit there and eat 3 of them in front of him because I don't want to share. So I wait until he leaves the room before I scarf one.
Don't feel bad for me because my sense of humor is different than yours. The meme's are not true for me in the least. I do not have to hide a damn thing from my husband. Let me be clear here....... I can buy whatever I want. I do NOT need permission from anyone for anything EVER. I only tell him about the big purchases out of RESPECT not because I am an oppressed wife. I let him know about retreats and things out of RESPECT for our relationship. It is not to ask for permission. There is a difference. That's the relationship I want to have with him. My choice.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jan 28, 2017 5:19:29 GMT
Well, once my DH bought a brand new ATV and hid it inside an enclosed snowmobile trailer for two weeks before telling me about it. Needless to say, I don't need to tell him (or feel guilty) about ANYthing I buy anymore.
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Post by OntarioScrapper on Jan 28, 2017 5:38:10 GMT
From day one his money was mine also and mine was his also. If there's a big purchase one of us wants to buy, we discuss it. Usually it's about helping each other find it for the cheapest price. We don't have the kind of money that one of us could just buy whatever we want. One time my husband wondered out loud "I wonder how much your scraproom is worth?" I replied "I wonder how much your tool collection is worth?" He replied "Point taken" with a chuckle.
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Post by anonrefugee on Jan 30, 2017 15:39:05 GMT
I've been looking for a hardware part at the woodworker / woodturners stores. That would be an expensive hobby!
They have the same kind of things, magnets and other trinkets like mugs, about not telling their wives.
I think they're funny although they don't apply to my life.
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anniebeth24
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,553
Jun 26, 2014 14:12:17 GMT
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Post by anniebeth24 on Jan 30, 2017 21:08:41 GMT
I remember cringing when I attended a "Close to My Heart" home party.
The hostess/salesperson said, "Make your checks out to CTMH - it stands for "Can't tell My Husband."
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Post by warrior1991 on Jan 31, 2017 15:07:08 GMT
When I sold PartyLite candles, the one payment method that was told to us at our training sessions was:
a little bit with cash, a little bit with check, and a little bit on credit so husband doesn't know exactly how much you spent.
I heard of many customers who increased their orders and paid that way.
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Post by mommaho on Jan 31, 2017 15:36:29 GMT
We have an agreement - I don't ask what he spends on his tools/boat and he doesn't ask what I spend on scrapping. The bills are paid, retirement is almost funded (a few more years to work for both of us) and we live a good life.
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Post by deekaye on Jan 31, 2017 22:05:20 GMT
I'm in a FB group for Silhouettes and this is a fairly common theme among a lot of the women, either they hide purchases or they will start out with "oh my gosh, my husband let me buy...". I shudder a little when I read those, not really knowing if I should take them literally. I DO remember shopping with my stay-at-home mom in the 60's and that was pretty common to keep our purchases in the trunk of the car and bring them in a little at a time, without Dad seeing ("What? This old thing. Oh, I've had it for ages!"). I thought it was a fun little game. My Dad was an awesome guy but things were different back then. It was HIS money, not THEIR money because he earned it. Things were different back in the 1960's. Thankfully (for most) times have changed...
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loco coco
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,662
Jun 26, 2014 16:15:45 GMT
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Post by loco coco on Jan 31, 2017 22:40:35 GMT
Meh, I can't get offended over these. They are meant in jest and I really doubt all the women who post them are really hiding things from their husbands
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Post by tinksmommy on Feb 2, 2017 2:34:57 GMT
Meh, I can't get offended over these. They are meant in jest and I really doubt all the women who post them are really hiding things from their husbands Exactly!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 21, 2024 18:02:06 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 2, 2017 7:09:02 GMT
Those Meme's bother me too. I was on another forum years ago and the women would talk about hiding their purchases from their husbands. It was supposed to be a funny thing. That is until their DH's find the purchases hiding in trucks, closets, and locked rooms. Then those women ended up with divorce stories. My Mom was very dishonest with my Father. Always telling me "Don't tell Daddy!" Constant lying so I am one of those women who tells her husband when she purchases things because I was dragged into the way my Mother treated my Dad. My DH could care less what I purchased. Even though I do tell him he forgets five seconds later and then is always impressed that I have the item at a later time. We both craft so he borrows from me a lot.
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Post by gmcwife1 on Feb 2, 2017 7:28:56 GMT
I've been looking for a hardware part at the woodworker / woodturners stores. That would be an expensive hobby! They have the same kind of things, magnets and other trinkets like mugs, about not telling their wives. I think they're funny although they don't apply to my life. I've always seem/heard them go both ways too. Boats, motorcycles, fishing, hunting, golf! Guys hobbies are expensive too and it's always just been a joke between the sexes. I think every scrapper I know IRL also works so I've never taken it seriously.
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anika
Junior Member
Posts: 95
Jul 5, 2016 14:18:18 GMT
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Post by anika on Feb 2, 2017 8:59:45 GMT
Am I the only one who likes them?
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tiffanytwisted
Pearl Clutcher
you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave
Posts: 4,538
Jun 26, 2014 15:57:39 GMT
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Post by tiffanytwisted on Feb 2, 2017 19:43:55 GMT
I remember cringing when I attended a "Close to My Heart" home party. The hostess/salesperson said, "Make your checks out to CTMH - it stands for "Can't tell My Husband." OK, I have to admit I chuckled at that one. Let me start off with saying that I can't get memes on my phone, so I haven't seen any of these. That being said, I am hoping that if you're putting something out as a meme, it is meant to be a joke. Internet shopping is a running joke in our house. I have asked him if he's changing his name to Harley or Davidson w/all the loot we have gotten lately. One Saturday I got 5 packages and he lined them all up on the counter in size order. Our UPS guy has even gotten in on it and one time 'hid' a really big box under our doormat. It's all in good fun. I feel bad for anyone whose husband 'lets' her do anything, just like I feel bad for anyone whose husband 'babysits' his own kids.
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Post by Linda on Feb 2, 2017 19:51:42 GMT
I tend to be the more frugal half of our relationship and I spend A LOT less on my hobbies (scrapbooking, sewing, genealogy) then DH spends on his (Lego, patch collecting, stuff collecting in general). I don't hide purchases from DH nor do I ask permission to buy stuff.
On the other hand - I'm a sahm so it is HIS money in many ways. I get a weekly deposit which covers groceries and my spending money - I suspect it is less than his spending money but I've never asked. If I need more money for some reason or another (be it for groceries like at Thanksgiving or because I want/need to buy something I can't afford) then I let him know and I get more money. This works for US because a)I'm not a shopper in general and b) he's generous about buying for me and/or giving me more money when I want it.
Every couple is different.
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