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Post by jemali on Aug 17, 2014 20:38:55 GMT
One time my dd and her friends were talking to a guy at school, and he told them that he and somebody else had "boked" home from school. They all laughed and said "You WHAT?" Well, they had rode their bikes home from school. He meant to use "bike" as a verb and say they had biked home, but did not know what the past tense was. He figured that since the past tense of "ride" is "rode", that the past tense of "bike" must be "boke"!
But in general I do not correct people who use improper grammar. Except for my other dd, who is pretty particular about it. So if I do catch her saying something wrong, I'll say "You mean _____?" in a joking way and she laughs.
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Post by Native New Yorker on Aug 17, 2014 20:44:29 GMT
I know that I am the queen of the misplaced comma. I will admit things like "Your great!" and "We're hot diva's!" get on my nerves. The one that really gets to me is when someone says "I seent it." Yes, with a t at the end.
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Post by LAM88 on Aug 17, 2014 20:47:42 GMT
I think it's rude to correct adults in front of others. I might find a way to repeat the sentence in the conversation using the correct form so they can hopefully figure it out for themselves. If we were alone and I had a comfortable relationship with the person then I MIGHT say something, but otherwise no.
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Post by I-95 on Aug 17, 2014 20:50:50 GMT
I think if you correct an adult's grammar, punctuation, or spelling it just makes you look small. You know what they are trying to say, why do you feel the need to make yourself feel superior by pointing out their error? I don't make fun of someone for something like that. Why do you assume it's making fun of someone to correct their grammar? I'd much rather someone corrected me than to go on sounding like I was illiterate.
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Post by leannec on Aug 17, 2014 20:53:20 GMT
I don't correct anyone in person ... I do have one lady in my meetup group who sometimes hosts events and I have to edit her descriptions in a major way because the grammar and spelling is always a problem ... My 15 year old dd, on the other hand, has not learned yet that people do not want to be corrected
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tracylynn
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,899
Jun 26, 2014 22:49:09 GMT
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Post by tracylynn on Aug 17, 2014 21:08:02 GMT
I think if you correct an adult's grammar, punctuation, or spelling it just makes you look small. You know what they are trying to say, why do you feel the need to make yourself feel superior by pointing out their error? I don't make fun of someone for something like that. Why do you assume it's making fun of someone to correct their grammar? I'd much rather someone corrected me than to go on sounding like I was illiterate. I don't personally feel like it's making fun of someone to correct them (though it might certainly be taken that way depending on tone of voice), but the people who I know who do it certainly make it seem like it's superiority type of thing and that's what I personally cringe at. (Of course, I just ended a sentence with the word at ... so whatever LOL)
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Post by anxiousmom on Aug 17, 2014 21:19:16 GMT
I think if you correct an adult's grammar, punctuation, or spelling it just makes you look small. You know what they are trying to say, why do you feel the need to make yourself feel superior by pointing out their error? I don't make fun of someone for something like that. Why do you assume it's making fun of someone to correct their grammar? I'd much rather someone corrected me than to go on sounding like I was illiterate. I don't know if it is making fun of someone so much as it is (or at least in my experience) done from a sense of self-importance. I have okay grammar, I suck at spelling, tend to have a decent vocabulary but make mistakes all the time. I will never, ever forget the humiliation I felt when I pronounced "emeritus" incorrectly in front of a group of attorneys who laughed and one of them said "oh you mean emeritus" (pronounced correctly.) It wasn't done in the spirit of let me help you, it was mean spirited. I fully recognize that my experience colors my view on this topic, but unless you are a teacher whose job it is to teach grammar, I say stay out of it. It is seldom helpful and more often seen as holier-than-thou.
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Post by Lexica on Aug 17, 2014 21:27:20 GMT
I usually bite my tongue. Well, unless it is my son. I know he was taught the correct usage of words, because I taught him! He was always fascinated with the different usages of words and found it fun.
Now that he is an adult, we communicate by texting more than we talk on the phone. When he sends a text with an error, always within seconds, he sends a correction. It bugs him not to. And we both know what he meant and it was likely an auto correct.
But for some reason, he always uses "can" when he means "will" in his texts. I began messing with him on it. It took a few times of me playing around until he caught on. Now whenever he asks me to do something he will put WILL in all caps, just to joke with me. And believe me, he's the first one to jump on me if I make a mistake. Not in a mean way, but with humor and love.
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Post by I-95 on Aug 17, 2014 21:48:51 GMT
Anxiousmom said: The experience you had with mispronouncing a word was terrible, and the people who participated in that were terrible people. Nobody should have an experience like that, and I'm truly sorry you did. I would no more consider correcting someone in front of another person that I would jump off a cliff. Nor would I do it if their whole speech pattern was full of 'she don't do nothin', but if it was someone who might profit from the experience, and we were the only two people in the room, and I knew them well enough to be so bold, then I'd correct them...not in a holier than thou way (unless it was my DH, then I'd point and laugh... ) I'd want someone to correct me too....just not in front of a room full of peers, that's cruel.
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Peal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,524
Jun 25, 2014 22:45:40 GMT
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Post by Peal on Aug 17, 2014 21:52:40 GMT
I correct my children who are still learning. I don't correct adults unless they ask for the correct form. And sometimes they know it, they just can't "access" it that minute. I know people who seem to delight in correcting people (often on FB) and you can practically see their sanctimonious smirks through the computer. They aren't trying to help. They are mocking. Except they don't see it that way.
I have a son who is dyslexic. He really struggles to contain language. He used incorrect pronouns and verb tenses for a long time until he was finally able to sort that out in his head. He will ask if he has written the correct form of their/they're/there every time, because his brain does not hold onto that information. It makes me sad that people will think he is ignorant when he grows up because of something he has so little control over. And unless you are someone close to him, correcting him is just going to make him feel bad and not be of any benefit anyway.
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Post by anxiousmom on Aug 17, 2014 21:57:09 GMT
Anxiousmom said: The experience you had with mispronouncing a word was terrible, and the people who participated in that were terrible people. Nobody should have an experience like that, and I'm truly sorry you did. I would no more consider correcting someone in front of another person that I would jump off a cliff. Nor would I do it if their whole speech pattern was full of 'she don't do nothin', but if it was someone who might profit from the experience, and we were the only two people in the room, and I knew them well enough to be so bold, then I'd correct them...not in a holier than thou way (unless it was my DH, then I'd point and laugh... ) I'd want someone to correct me too....just not in front of a room full of peers, that's cruel. Gosh, thank you for that! I have to say, your thoughts are significantly kinder than that of my ex-husband who was standing by my side at the time (literally, sadly not figuratively.) He told me later to "perhaps not talk to his friends who were all attorneys and I was not smart enough to keep up." So, even though this was years ago, I appreciate the kind words.
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Post by I-95 on Aug 17, 2014 22:03:11 GMT
Well, I have to say I'm glad he's your Ex-husband!! What a nasty thing to say to one's wife. I am glad you were at least smart enough to get rid of his uppity ass!!
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MaryC
Full Member
Posts: 213
Jun 25, 2014 21:52:55 GMT
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Post by MaryC on Aug 17, 2014 22:41:20 GMT
No, it's not my place to correct another adult in that situation.
However, I do work with several non-native speakers, and I will gently explain verb forms or word usage because they want to improve their spoken fluency in English. They know I'm not correcting them to be mean spirited, and they do the same for me with Spanish.
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Post by freecharlie on Aug 17, 2014 22:56:35 GMT
Never. I do correct grammatical errors in IEPs, though. But I don't say anything, and I'm pretty sure that no one has noticed. I thought, I might be the only one who did this. I hate, hate, hate when I see grammatical or spelling errors in IEPs especially the ones that we have sent home with the student. As for the OP, sometimes it just slips out and I correct someone other times, I might respond to something using the correct term, sometimes I pick up the error and end up using it myself in the same conversation.
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Post by gmcwife1 on Aug 17, 2014 23:21:57 GMT
I think if you correct an adult's grammar, punctuation, or spelling it just makes you look small. You know what they are trying to say, why do you feel the need to make yourself feel superior by pointing out their error? I don't make fun of someone for something like that. I agree.
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Post by denda on Aug 17, 2014 23:39:43 GMT
No, and I don't like the grammar police
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msliz
Drama Llama
The Procrastinator
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Jun 26, 2014 21:32:34 GMT
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Post by msliz on Aug 17, 2014 23:45:09 GMT
I regularly correct my daughters.
I occasionally correct my husband, but only if it was one of those funny-because-he's-half-asleep mistakes.
ETA: We always review and edit each other's written work anytime it's something important. It's always good to get another set of eyes on your papers.
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msliz
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Jun 26, 2014 21:32:34 GMT
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Post by msliz on Aug 17, 2014 23:55:07 GMT
... But for some reason, he always uses "can" when he means "will" in his texts. I began messing with him on it. It took a few times of me playing around until he caught on. Now whenever he asks me to do something he will put WILL in all caps, just to joke with me. And believe me, he's the first one to jump on me if I make a mistake. Not in a mean way, but with humor and love. I used to tease my DDs when they accidently used "can I?" in place of "may I?" Now they find mistakes in my speech to tease me about
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Post by woodysbetty on Aug 18, 2014 0:11:29 GMT
Most people don't like to be corrected, especially in front of others. Rarely are they grateful or take it as constructive criticism - it's embarrassing. I'm pretty sure if they think they need a teacher, they'd let us know. Since it's your issue, not hers, I'd mmob, bite my tongue, and just keep loving her. Totally agree !!!!! I think it would really be a hurtful thing to do to someone you care about.....
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YooHoot
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Posts: 3,432
Jun 26, 2014 3:11:50 GMT
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Post by YooHoot on Aug 18, 2014 0:16:36 GMT
I work with a woman that uses don't incorrectly. As in "She don't go to the store on Fridays". I'm not perfect so I don't mention anything, I just walk around the corner and slam my head into a wall.
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Post by LAM88 on Aug 18, 2014 0:51:40 GMT
I work with a woman that uses don't incorrectly. As in "She don't go to the store on Fridays". I'm not perfect so I don't mention anything, I just walk around the corner and slam my head into a wall. My FIL does this too. He is an educated man who had a fabulous career as a project manager for some pretty high tech government stuff, but he misuses the word "don't" just like you described. He grew up in the Bronx and with parents who spoke broken English so I attribute it to that.
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Post by AussieMeg on Aug 18, 2014 2:24:01 GMT
The only people I correct are my kids. My 9yo son in the past has made the mistake of saying / writing "would of" which nearly made my head explode. I explained to him that whilst it sounds like "would of" it is actually "would've" which is short for "would have". He doesn't make that mistake any more. However, I have seen numerous adults write "would of" - one dear friend and a couple of people here on this board. It blows my mind that there are grown adults who actually think it is "would of". However I have not corrected my friend, even though I think it makes her look uneducated. I'm torn between not wanting to hurt her feelings and wanting to save her from looking silly.
Also, I am astounded that so many adults just cannot get the difference between your and you're. If FB and message boards are anything to go by, it's almost 50/50 split between people who get it wrong and those who get it right.
Someone close to me also uses seen/come instead of saw/came ie. "I seen her yesterday" or "She come to my house yesterday". I really want to let her know the correct conjugation of those verbs, but only because I think it makes her sound uneducated. But she has self esteem issues anyway, and she would most likely take *offence (see below). So I have to keep my mouth shut. I know I would come across as a smart arse if I say anything.
*Some of you may think that my use of "offence" is incorrect, but "offense" is mainly used in the US and "offence" in other English speaking countries - just thought I'd mention that in case anyone felt compelled to correct me LOL!
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janeliz
Drama Llama
I'm the Wiz and nobody beats me.
Posts: 5,641
Jun 26, 2014 14:35:07 GMT
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Post by janeliz on Aug 18, 2014 2:26:08 GMT
I bite my tongue. Unless, as others mentioned, the offenders are my offspring.
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Post by AussieMeg on Aug 18, 2014 2:35:04 GMT
Why do you assume it's making fun of someone to correct their grammar? I'd much rather someone corrected me than to go on sounding like I was illiterate. I have okay grammar, I suck at spelling, tend to have a decent vocabulary but make mistakes all the time. I will never, ever forget the humiliation I felt when I pronounced "emeritus" incorrectly in front of a group of attorneys who laughed and one of them said "oh you mean emeritus" (pronounced correctly.) It wasn't done in the spirit of let me help you, it was mean spirited. I can totally understand your humiliation. I remember one time when I was about 8yo. My parents had a decorative bottle of Mateus Rose on our mantle. Friends of mum and dad were at our house and I read out the label but pronounced it "Mate us roze" instead of "Mah-toose rozay". The adults laughed and laughed and I was so embarrassed. Such a little thing but I remember it as clear as day. Another time (I was an adult) I wanted to buy some flowers for my mum. I asked the florist for some ranunculus. I pronounced it "ran-un-COOL-ers". The florist practically wet herself laughing and said "No, it's "ran-UNC-you-luhs". Made me feel like a right idiot. And that's why I don't want to correct anybody. Mind you, if I was going to I would do it quietly without laughing at them.
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anniebygaslight
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Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Aug 18, 2014 6:20:28 GMT
It would be incredibly rude to correct an adult's grammar, no matter how tempting. The only time I do it is with a Spanish colleague who has specifically asked us all to help her with her English, which is coming on in leaps and bounds. She even has the beginnings of a Yorkshire accent. Anyone who corrects another's grammar will look sneering and superior, and run the risk of causing great mirth when they make a mistake themselves. I will, however, admit to inwardly cringing when I hear poor grammar but I dare say that I may make the odd mistake myself every now and then.
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inkedup
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Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Aug 18, 2014 6:53:09 GMT
Does your sister in law teach social studies in Minnesota?
I don't correct people. I will just let their poor grammar kill me a little bit at a time.
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oblibby
Full Member
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Location: Bonnie Scotland
Jul 10, 2014 10:30:12 GMT
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Post by oblibby on Aug 18, 2014 10:14:23 GMT
I have been known to shout at the TV on more than one occasion. In my defence, poor grammar isn't the only reason I shout at it.
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mallie
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Jul 3, 2014 18:13:13 GMT
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Post by mallie on Aug 18, 2014 11:40:20 GMT
Why do you assume it's making fun of someone to correct their grammar? I'd much rather someone corrected me than to go on sounding like I was illiterate. I don't know if it is making fun of someone so much as it is (or at least in my experience) done from a sense of self-importance. When I was younger, I used to correct people's grammar because I thought I was being helpful. The way I saw it, if I was making a repeated error, I'd want someone to tell me, so I thought I was doing people a favor in telling them. It took me a while to understand that others did not see it that way. So, it wasn't from a sense of self-importance in my case.
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Post by I-95 on Aug 18, 2014 14:31:18 GMT
It would be incredibly rude to correct an adult's grammar, no matter how tempting. The only time I do it is with a Spanish colleague who has specifically asked us all to help her with her English, which is coming on in leaps and bounds. She even has the beginnings of a Yorkshire accent. Anyone who corrects another's grammar will look sneering and superior, and run the risk of causing great mirth when they make a mistake themselves. I honestly disagree with you. There are ways to say things without sounding like you're sneering and being superior, although I do know folks who are both sneering and superior when they correct someone. I don't see any difference between correcting someone who uses an incorrect word, or who pronounces something incorrectly when they are speaking English or any other language. I speak four languages and have been laughed at more times than I can remember for getting words wrong, or mispronouncing something. I sent a group of French people into fits when I asked directions to 'guerre du Nord' instead of gare du Nord. I took my DD to a doctor in France and was trying to list her symptoms, explaining her eyes were glazed by saying 'glace yeux' the poor doctor could not contain herself as she imagined my little one with ice cream eyes. In English I have serious issues with bought and brought. It doesn't bother me if I'm talking and say 'I made cake and bought it to share' and someone says 'brought'. I just say thank you, and keep talking. Maybe the reason so many people speak English badly is because nobody will correct them. I'd be more embarrassed about speaking my native tongue badly than I would about making a mistake in Spanish, or Swahili. Having said that, ridiculing someone for a mistake is never OK.
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Post by sisterbdsq on Aug 18, 2014 14:50:26 GMT
I think if you correct an adult's grammar, punctuation, or spelling it just makes you look small. You know what they are trying to say, why do you feel the need to make yourself feel superior by pointing out their error? I don't make fun of someone for something like that. Why do you assume it's making fun of someone to correct their grammar? I'd much rather someone corrected me than to go on sounding like I was illiterate. This is how I feel.
Also, The arguments of "you know what they were trying to say" or, "you know what they meant" I find to be major bullshit. If you cannot express yourself appropriately, I do not have to guess what you are telling me. Why is that my responsibility? What if I was interviewing you for a job? Are you going to throw out, "you know what I mean!"?
Speak to me, tell me exactly what you want/need/are trying to convey and let's have a conversation. If I have to figure out what you mean because you can't use words properly, I'm out of the conversation.
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