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Post by Deleted on Mar 15, 2017 22:10:35 GMT
My parents, sister, and grown kids. Now, which of those I would call first depends on what the need is.
I am pretty sure I cannot count on any of them to bail me out if I knowingly do something illegal (but they will send me letters while I serve my time) Any other need I can count on them to come through in some form that matches their ability as in two of my kids have families of their own and don't make huge incomes. A request for financial help would be a huge burden to them but I can depend on them for emotional support, a knowledge base of "how to" and sometimes even some muscle if my need can wait until they can get time off to come to me.
I do my best to come through for them. But they also understand my resources are limited so they don't typically ask more than I have to offer. I dunno if that counts as having someone's back or not....
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Post by Lexica on Mar 15, 2017 22:12:37 GMT
My father did. I can honestly say he is the only male in my life that never lied to me, and never intentionally hurt my feelings. He stood up for me to my two siblings who delighted in tearing me down. He shut it down if they did it in front of him. I always appreciated that. Now that Dad has been gone for almost 12 years now, I have to have my own back. It isn't easy, but at least I know I won't walk out on me!
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Post by anxiousmom on Mar 15, 2017 22:31:17 GMT
Whoo boy...pretty much my entire family. My parents without question, my boys for sure (they are adults now) my brother, my sisters, my aunts/uncles, my cousins... Now, if I go off the rails and lose the plot entirely, they will hold my earrings while telling me I am damn fool-which in my opinion is the kind of person you really want on your side. Example: I am 50 years old and my battery died yesterday. My mama and daddy came over to my job, took the battery out of my little truck, took it to the place to get it checked, charged it up and put it back in the little truck. The the boy home from spring break met me after work and followed me to the mechanic and chauffeured me around today. And it wasn't like I asked for help-they just did it. I am REALLY lucky to have the family I do. There isn't a day that goes by that am not grateful for the fact that I got to be a part of the weird'o velcro family I have.
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purplebee
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Post by purplebee on Mar 15, 2017 22:48:32 GMT
My DH for the important stuff, my 2 sisters for everything. My son for help if I ask, and I would do anything for him. My Mom has always had my back but she just turned 92, so she is limited in what she can do.
I have a couple of girlfriends who I can depend on and would help if they could, and I would them, but I lost my best friend in Sept. to cancer, and miss him every day. Cherish those you can count on and be yourself with, with no strings attached, they are truly a blessing.
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grammanisi
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 26, 2014 1:37:37 GMT
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Post by grammanisi on Mar 15, 2017 22:50:58 GMT
My husband has my back, 100%. So does my dad, daughter, granddaughter, sisters, brother in law and son in law...however they are not as involved in my everyday life as my husband, who knows everything about me.
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Post by padresfan619 on Mar 15, 2017 23:35:43 GMT
I honestly can't think of anyone I'm close to who doesn't have my back. My circle is small, I can trust any of my friends or close family to be there for me.
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Post by canadianscrappergirl on Mar 15, 2017 23:51:55 GMT
My definition of having my back means they support you emotionally. They are the person you can count on no matter what and will come to your rescue if needed. They shut down smack talk about you and people who disrespect you in their presence.
It should be my kids and hubby but it's not. They've all disappointed me time and time again. I only count on myself otherwise I'm always disappointed.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Mar 16, 2017 0:01:46 GMT
My DH has my back. And my sister.
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J u l e e
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Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Mar 16, 2017 0:42:01 GMT
My husband. No matter what. No questions asked.
After that, I have some girlfriends who would collectively move mountains for me. What one couldn't do, another would fill in. And they'd do it seamlessly. What I lack in family of origin (my parents and siblings have never been like this) I have been given X10 in friendships.
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Sue
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Jun 26, 2014 18:42:33 GMT
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Post by Sue on Mar 16, 2017 0:57:13 GMT
I'm another one of those lucky people. I have so many people in my life that would look out for me and support me if I needed help... my husband, 3 adult kids, my son-in-law, my daughter-in-law, my older grands, 3 sisters and their spouses, one remaining brother and 2 sisters-in-law, etc. And I love them all. My blessings are many and I'm very grateful.
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IAmUnoriginal
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Jun 25, 2014 23:27:45 GMT
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Post by IAmUnoriginal on Mar 16, 2017 1:36:57 GMT
My brothers, especially the youngest. My SIL married to the brother between the youngest and me. My grandpa, too. My grandma did more than anyone in the world. I miss her. My kids aren't grown.
My parents -- ha! No! I moved out right before HS graduation and had my dad arrested on assault charges and didn't back off. I saw the charges through to sentencing and he got jail time.
What does it mean to me -- standing by you, even when it might be easier not to. My grandma and grandpa stood with me when I pressed charges against their son and encouraged me to see them through after they read the statement I gave the county sheriff. And, being there when someone calls, even if it's not convenient. My idiot parents left my youngest brother in a mall parking lot in the middle of the night in Omaha, NE on the way back to MN from boot camp in MO. I was living in IL with a toddler and my exH who was traveling a lot for work. Brother called a o'dark thirty and I helped him find a way "home" before he was reported AWOL (he had a set number of hours to report to the National Guard Armory after checking out of boot camp). When my brothers say let me know what you need, they mean it. I can't think of a time that we haven't come through for one another.
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azredhead
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Jun 25, 2014 22:49:18 GMT
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Post by azredhead on Mar 16, 2017 2:02:16 GMT
My Dh and I obviously. My step dad. Even if it was against my mom. If there was a battle about something. My mom and I had a complicated love/crazy (not hate I wouldn't describe it that way just complicated relationship. In the end my step dad backed me a 100% now that she's gone I'm trying to understand it and cope with it. My 2nd to youngest sister. We've always been very similar in A lot of things. And even closer now after loosing my mom.
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Post by birukitty on Mar 16, 2017 2:09:22 GMT
My DH, my adult son, my parents and my youngest sibling-my sister. She is my best friend and has my back unconditionally. I feel very blessed that I have so many in my life.
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StephDRebel
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Jul 5, 2014 1:53:49 GMT
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Post by StephDRebel on Mar 16, 2017 3:06:52 GMT
My husband does and my kids do. I have a couple of friends who do-- my dad does more than my mom who doesn't at all. It means being loyal and not always saying i'm right but helping me realize when i'm wrong and being willing to stand up for me when someone is acting in a way that isn't in my best interests.
I have thiers too, and am much more loyal to some other people who arent' as loyal to me.
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Post by brynn on Mar 16, 2017 4:01:34 GMT
My dad had my back. I have one friend who both she and I would help each other no matter what.
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Post by originalvanillabean on Mar 16, 2017 4:58:23 GMT
My DH for sure. My parents, absolutely. My sister too.
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Post by tenacious on Mar 16, 2017 5:17:12 GMT
I am lucky enough to have several-my DH, my parents, and one of my kids in particular I can count on 100% to have my back. Also, mostly my BFF. We have been friends for almost 40 years, and although we are very different, she has never let me down when I needed her.
I feel pretty lucky. Erin
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Post by anniefb on Mar 16, 2017 5:18:00 GMT
In terms of family it was my Mum but she passed away 5 years ago. I have a couple of friends who do, but it's not the same thing.
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lilbit1va
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Oct 25, 2015 5:49:53 GMT
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Post by lilbit1va on Mar 16, 2017 8:28:54 GMT
Mg DH, parents and younger sister always had my back, but they have passed away. My stepdaughter lives with me and is here for me in many ways, just not financially at this time. My daughter is married and lives far away, but if I needed her she would be here as fast as she could. I have a dear BFF would and has been there for me in several situations, along with most of her immediate family. I have 2 sisters and a brother who would help as much as they could. They are scattered across the USA, so it would depend on the need. I do have several friends I could count on for various levels of help. My kids know that I have their back and have been there for them for emotional, loving and financial support over the years. The only thing I won't do is bail them out of jail if they have committed a serious crime.
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Post by scrappintoee on Mar 16, 2017 9:51:09 GMT
Big (( hugs )) to all of you !!!
Sadly, the answer is nobody. have to have my own back. It isn't easy, but at least I know I won't walk out on me! I only count on myself otherwise I'm always disappointed. I'm very blessed to have many people in my life that have my back!!! DH, my Dad, both sides of our families, and some very close friends. My older sister has helped me with some tough emotional things lately, and I am SO grateful !!!!! ![:love:](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/W4b_Om5roEadLiOzGo_l.jpg) It makes me so sad to see so many that don't!
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Post by grate on Mar 16, 2017 12:12:54 GMT
for the most part my dad, not my mom and my husband.. not sure. I have not really been a position in my adult life where I needed someone to have my back or at least where i asked for help. I am very independent so I think I have not given my husband the chance. I guess I was most disappointed in him, my mom and friends when I had my SCAD/heart attack this summer. I am the care giver and never really need anyone and only my dad stepped up. Mom did not even come to the hospital during the 5 days i was there (they live with us.) ** looking at having my back as in support over all **
I guess my friend K. has my back under all circumstances but I have "stuff" on her LOL
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Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2017 14:42:43 GMT
Me. I have my back. I didn't realize it until a few years ago, that I can't count on anyone to have my back. So I've learned that I can only rely on myself and do what I need to do to get through whatever it is.
I've always tried to have others' backs, but after I realized that I had no-one, I've stopped being there for everyone else.
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Post by canadianscrappergirl on Mar 16, 2017 15:06:58 GMT
Me. I have my back. I didn't realize it until a few years ago, that I can't count on anyone to have my back. So I've learned that I can only rely on myself and do what I need to do to get through whatever it is. I've always tried to have others' backs, but after I realized that I had no-one, I've stopped being there for everyone else. This is how I am I give back what I get from others. It does get tiresome I find don't you to always have to be so independent because you can't rely on others. It's been like that for me since I was a kid guess that's why I'm so tired lol.
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imsirius
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Post by imsirius on Mar 16, 2017 15:37:49 GMT
My DH unconditionally.
My bff as well. She was a rock for me when I was on bed rest for 4 months when I was pregnant. She even washed my hair and came everyday to make me lunch.
My mom. She lives in another city but would and has come to me when I need her.
My dad when he was alive. He would have fought a bear single handed for his family.
2 friends who have been a Godsend to me.
I'm very lucky and I would walk on fire for any of them.
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Post by worldwanderer75 on Mar 16, 2017 15:51:23 GMT
My husband for sure, my parents have always been great and had my back but my mom is being a PIA now that it is time to downsize and move into assisted living, I am blessed with 3 wonderful friends from different points in my life (my BFF from growing up, and 2 that I have met as an adult), and one of my older sisters. I feel like I can fully trust and be myself with these people. I've had to weed out a lot of people but these are consistent.
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Post by freecharlie on Mar 16, 2017 22:48:22 GMT
My parents have mine as do dh and my inlaws. I have cousins who always have my back and a couple of friends.
I have my childrens backs, but part of that includes calling them out and helping them to see when they might be in the wrong.
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