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Post by miominmio on Jun 29, 2014 18:48:15 GMT
I can see why your father is worried, but the fact is: for every generation the chance of a child inheriting that particular gene, is reduced. And who knows what they risk inheriting from their other parent. My paternal grandmother suffers from dementia, although "suffer" is the wrong word. Yes, she has dementia, but nowhere along the lines has she ever expressed any grief or anger. In the early days, she was very accepting of the fact, and also very grateful for the great care given to her at the facility where she continue to live. My paternal gramdfather died two years after we noticed the first symptoms, probably because of a heart attack, and except for the last few weeks, seemed to accept it as part of old age. I might have an increased risk of dementia, but it doesn't scare me, at all. The fear modern society has for the natural consequences of getting old, is sad.
And I get that your dad is probably dealing with both stress and grief, but to actually believe that type 1 diabetes is a terrible destiny (which it is not),is over-reacting.
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Mystie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,299
Jun 25, 2014 19:53:37 GMT
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Post by Mystie on Jun 29, 2014 18:55:06 GMT
I think what your dad said was coming out of his exhaustion and grief, don't you? Try not to be too hurt by it. I'm so sorry your family is having to go through this.
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Post by winniegirl on Jun 29, 2014 18:57:49 GMT
Read your update and I totally disagree with your Dad. If we all felt like that no one would have kids 'cause all families have something (cancer, diabetes, dementia, near sightedness, crooked teeth, etc.). Funny story, I am 4'11" and someone once told me if they were my height they would never have kids ![::)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/eyesroll.png) . Different strokes, I suppose.
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oldcrow
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,828
Location: Ontario,Canada
Jun 26, 2014 12:25:29 GMT
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Post by oldcrow on Jun 29, 2014 19:21:56 GMT
Shannon, go on youtube and watch some of the short clips by a woman named Teepe Snow.
I missed out on going to a seminar with her speaking. I am so po'd that I didn't know about it in time.
I intend to order her cd's if they don't bring them in at work.
I think anyone dealing with dementia should see these. They are designed for the caregivers.
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tracylynn
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Posts: 4,885
Jun 26, 2014 22:49:09 GMT
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Post by tracylynn on Jun 29, 2014 19:51:28 GMT
I think what your dad said was coming out of his exhaustion and grief, don't you? Try not to be too hurt by it. I'm so sorry your family is having to go through this. I agree - I don't think he meant to be hurtful. He's sad and exhausted and grieving and probably depressed too. I'm sorry your family is dealing with this. Such an awful disease.
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Post by elaine on Jun 29, 2014 20:05:34 GMT
I think what your dad said was coming out of his exhaustion and grief, don't you? Try not to be too hurt by it. I'm so sorry your family is having to go through this. Shannon, I agree with this. Do not take what he is saying personally. Many men also have a much harder time dealings with medical issues that they cannot fix, because that is how they were raised to look at the world - their role is/was to fix things/make them better.
I am sure it is heartbreaking for him to not be able to fix your child's diabetes and his wife's Alzheimer's. The best solution he is able to come up with is to not have more kids in the family line. He is saying it from the point of view of someone who wants his family to be healthy and happy - he cares about all of you so much. I hope you can see his words as an expression of love and caring, rather than hurtful.
I am sorry that your family is going through this - it is so hard. My MIL has Alzheimer's too, and it is such a sad disease.
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Post by tuva42 on Jun 29, 2014 20:14:28 GMT
I have interviewed an Alzheimer's researcher for a magazine I write for. He says that scientists are very, very close to finding not only prevention but a cure for Alzheimers. He says within the next 5 years. He says some of the work being done now could stop Alzheimer's in its tracks and allow folks to recover with therapy, the same way you can recover from a stroke.
My dad died from Alzheimer's, I know that makes me at risk, but I believe by the time it affects me there will be effective treatment available.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jul 4, 2024 6:21:05 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 29, 2014 22:21:32 GMT
Alzheimers runs strongly through my father's family. He died of it last year. But the first 65 years of his life were wonderful and exciting and he was a terrific person. The last few years were awful, but he truly led a great life. That would not give me cause to not have children.
I also agree that your dad is going through grief for the loss of the wife he knew. He's very focused on the end of her life, and not looking back at the good parts they led together. That's perfectly normal.
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M in Carolina
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Posts: 3,128
Jun 29, 2014 12:11:41 GMT
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Post by M in Carolina on Jun 29, 2014 22:55:54 GMT
My father's mother and eldest brother both suffered with Alzheimer's. Granny died when I was 14, and my uncle is in his last stages. My grandmother also had another type of dementia, and my eldest aunt and my mom are showing signs of dementia.
I had a full blown stroke a week after my 26th birthday. It was caused by the Nuva Ring (which claimed it was the same as the pill just a different delivery system). After many women had strokes and some died, the company did admit they lied. I also was diagnosed with a blood clot disorder, but I had been on different brands of estrogen birth control for almost 10 years before my stroke. I also had paralysis in my right leg and left arm from the elbow down. I worked like a dog to get back to normal. If you didn't know me, you couldn't tell.
I used to have gorgeous handwriting and did calligraphy. Now on good days, I can write ok. Some days I can't write legibly. I was also very fluent in French--I used to listen to the Canadian French Radio channel because I lived in Detroit and was conversational with French speaking friends. After the stroke, I couldn't understand it anymore. I can read well and parse verbs, but my vocabulary and listening skills are awful.
Then I was hit with an autoimmune disease similar to MS as well as autoimmune disease in my bladder. I also had to have a hysterectomy for ovarian cysts/uterine cancer.
Dh and I talked to a lot of doctors--genetic neurologists and even a neonatologist who specialized in high risk pregnancies/monitoring these pregnancies in the hospital until term.
It wasn't MY genetics that everyone was so concerned about, it was how I wouldn't deal well in a pregnancy that would require that I was completely bed bound. The blood thinners, 60% risk of stroke to the fetus in utero, and especially how my heart, with this big patch in it, would react to pregnancy.
Dh was gunshy of losing me anyway (the stroke scared him to death--I had two major events over 3 days). I didn't want to put my selfish desires to bring a child into this world that would be seriously ill, against the advice of the doctors I sought out. So we didn't.
I'm not even sure if I could have gotten pregnant since I was unknowingly in early menopause. When I had my hysterectomy, I lost a lot of blood post op and almost had a heart attack--my heartbeat stayed over 180 for 24 hours. (that's an exhaustion that I can't describe)
It's been tough to deal with all that and then get chronic pancreatitis after having my gallbladder out. All of this stuff is because of a nasty drug my bio mother was on while pregnant. All her doctors told her I'd be severely deformed and to just abort me--paid by the state. I was "healthy" at birth and just got more ill.
I've competed in Dressage, trained in event jumping, soloed my first airplane at 17, had a mustang convertible as my first car (never even got pulled over!), married my soulmate, and have traveled. While I'm nearing the 10 year mark on my pancreatitis, I still have a lot of life left. Other than chronic pain and a bad back, I'm still pretty healthy.
I've had some people tell me that I'm pathetic and worthless, but I guarantee you you've never met anyone with more will and determination than me.
I've had and have given so much love in my short years. If I could choose to do it again, I would.
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Post by Basket1lady on Jun 29, 2014 23:46:31 GMT
Shannon, I'm so sorry that you are going through this with your parents. It sounds like you and your dad need more help with your mom. That doesn't mean that you have failed her. It just means that she may be around for many years to come and you and your dad need to pace yourselves. Just like when your kids were little, a break can mean you have more focus and energy to give when you come back from the break.
My MIL has dementia, as did her mother. She was in an Alzheimer's case study from the University of Utah for about 6+ years before they decided that she doesn't have Alzheimer's, but another form of dementia, probably related to Parkinson's. She has been on a few meds and it has really stopped quite a bit of the progression of her dementia. Her younger sister has similar symptoms and is much worse off than my MIL. There were also two brothers in the family and they died within a few years of each other from ALS. They all lived and grew up on the same farm and I honestly suspect that it is environmental with a hereditary tendency. There were so many pesticides used back then and there are a lot of medical issues that has come from the use of pesticides. Or something there on the farm.
You just don't know, but I worry for my DH and my kids. But I know what modern science has done for my MIL and I'm hopeful that something more will come from modern medicine and this U of U study. They have also included my DH in the study and do a follow up every five years. That's about all we can do for now.
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Post by annabella on Jun 30, 2014 0:02:11 GMT
My grandmother had alzheimers so my mother really keeps a close tab on this. She's not waiting for it to happen to her. She has a prescription medicine she takes to prevent it. She does sodoku and crossword puzzles to keep her brain active. There's lots of books on this topic of how you can prevent it.
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Post by *Shannon on Jun 30, 2014 0:52:08 GMT
Thank you all for your responses, so much. I want to read through them again and reply.
I just have to address what you said, annabella...
There is no preventing Alzheimer's. There is no medicine that prevents it. If there are books that tell how you can prevent it, the authors are lying. There are things you can do to delay symptoms, brain exercises that retain function. There are medicines that can reduce some symptoms, but there is no prevention and there is no cure.
I hope that that fact changes soon, but for now neither a method of prevention, nor cure exists.
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