Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 21:00:39 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2017 0:55:32 GMT
It's a late Aug wedding and I already ordered a sleeveless a-line above the knee dress from J.Jill (its now gone from their website or I would have linked it). It's black with multi-color floral. Planned to wear it with a black short-sleeve cardigan, black heeled sandals and no hosiery, as chances are it will be hot and humid. Wedding is at 2 and cocktail hour, dinner and reception start at 5:30. Invite states "formal attire" and reception is at a golf club. Personally, I had been taught that formal isn't required unless its an evening wedding, but I know it's the bride's preference. FYI, the invites were very nicely done but quite casual in style/design.
Please share your opinion of typical formal wear for this. Thanks!
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Post by freecharlie on Jun 13, 2017 0:57:14 GMT
Can you ask the bride?
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Post by Darcy Collins on Jun 13, 2017 1:03:03 GMT
Where in the US - there's such regional differences. I'm guessing with the reception at 5:30 and formal attire stated, they're looking for formal attire - your dress particularly with the cardigan isn't really formal or even semi-formal, but perhaps with regional differences...
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2017 1:04:40 GMT
Eh, she is a younger cousin of DH's. Beautiful girl and usually the most well-dressed in every pic I see. She's young and I'm sure has a very specific idea in mind for how her wedding should be. Across the board, I think my own wedding would have been more formal and was at 5 p.m. and I would have never dreamed of stating formal attire, since it's not my style (I'm J.Jill or Eileen Fisher when I dress up). So I'm trying to get a frame of reference for what it means, if that makes sense?
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 21:00:39 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2017 1:07:47 GMT
It's in the midwest in a large metro area. More casual/fun weddings have been in for years, even the NYE one we went to downtown last year. I would have to buy something new if what I have isn't formal enough. I can, but prefer not to, since I bought this dress specifically for the wedding.
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Post by bc2ca on Jun 13, 2017 1:12:20 GMT
Formal means a long gown, dressy suit/pants or dressy cocktail length dress.
In my world, formal events have 60% of females wearing a cocktail length dress, party shoes and sparkly jewelry.
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Post by auntkelly on Jun 13, 2017 1:13:19 GMT
To me formal means men wear suits and ladies wear cocktail dresses.
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gsquaredmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,107
Jun 26, 2014 17:43:22 GMT
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Post by gsquaredmom on Jun 13, 2017 1:13:24 GMT
Probably more formal than your dress if Midwest. Can you ask someone? You could also step up the formality with a dressy cardigan or shawl. Wear sheer hose.
It's also possible she is just trying to avoid jeans and really casual.
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Post by lisae on Jun 13, 2017 1:13:38 GMT
Honestly, I don't think this sounds formal enough but I've never been to a wedding that specified formal attire on the invitation. To me it is the cardigan over the dress that makes the outfit sound less formal.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2017 1:21:11 GMT
You realize I'm going to have to google what a cocktail dress is?? Haha, I understand, as we were into "formal" when we were young. I'm just surprised, since even the bridesmaid dresses aren't very formal, just a simple sheath dress and less than $100 (they showed them off at the shower). I don't expect anyone would have shown up in jeans or anything close to it (same family had another wedding a couple years ago, also downtown - I would say dressy casual to semi-formal was the majority for that one).
I like the shawl and sheer hose idea and I could try to find something like chandelier earrings and maybe hair up?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2017 1:23:05 GMT
Quiet frankly, I think my hang-up is formal attire for a 2 p.m. wedding. Sounds a bit over the top for that time of day, but I'm sure its because of the reception location.
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Post by myshelly on Jun 13, 2017 1:26:13 GMT
Quiet frankly, I think my hang-up is formal attire for a 2 p.m. wedding. Sounds a bit over the top for that time of day, but I'm sure its because of the reception location. Can I just gently suggest that the attire being determined by the time of day is a generational thing that no longer applies and that a young bride would not feel bound by? |
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Post by freecharlie on Jun 13, 2017 1:31:38 GMT
If you don't want to buy something, you could rent it.
I hate when people specify what I have to wear. I find it rude and presumptuous.
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gsquaredmom
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 26, 2014 17:43:22 GMT
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Post by gsquaredmom on Jun 13, 2017 1:32:31 GMT
Hair up and some bling with a dressy shawl and sheer hose sounds great. It's likely the reception driving the formality. You could doll up for the reception but be lower-keyed for a 2 pm wedding.
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 21:00:39 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2017 1:40:42 GMT
Quiet frankly, I think my hang-up is formal attire for a 2 p.m. wedding. Sounds a bit over the top for that time of day, but I'm sure its because of the reception location. Can I just gently suggest that the attire being determined by the time of day is a generational thing that no longer applies and that a young bride would not feel bound by? I'm not old enough to be offended if you just call me old and outta touch, but old enough to have had a job that required a suit (including hose if you wore a skirt) 5 days a week, even though I worked in the field. I'm certain that experience formed my present style quite a bit.  |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2017 1:41:59 GMT
If you don't want to buy something, you could rent it. I hate when people specify what I have to wear. I find it rude and presumptuous. In this case, it IS presumptuous IMO but the bride is a sweetheart. |
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Post by myshelly on Jun 13, 2017 1:42:11 GMT
Can I just gently suggest that the attire being determined by the time of day is a generational thing that no longer applies and that a young bride would not feel bound by? I'm not old enough to be offended if you just call me old and outta touch, but old enough to have had a job that required a suit (including hose if you wore a skirt) 5 days a week, even though I worked in the field. I'm certain that experience formed my present style quite a bit. Lol. Just trying to give you another perspective - that the thing you're getting "hung up on" may not be a thing the bride has ever heard of. |
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Post by Really Red on Jun 13, 2017 1:46:34 GMT
All I know is that I was at a 5pm wedding in NC last weekend and as much as I adore the bride and groom, I'm feeling super annoyed about the fact that they didn't encourage "casual dress" on the invitation or by word of mouth. There I was, all formal in 4" heels and having to traipse across gravel to get to grass and hike 1/4 mile through bushes (really) to get to the wedding. Then carry my chair (!!!!) to the reception area, another 1/4 mile away. All on ground that had gravel in it and soft enough for my shoes to sink. I took them off at the reception, but it was hurtful to my feet and my shoes were ruined.
I hope that by requiring formal attire, it means that you won't be sinking into ground somewhere!
p.s. I am also covered in mosquito bites!
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Post by anniefb on Jun 13, 2017 1:49:11 GMT
To me formal means men wear suits and ladies wear cocktail dresses. That ^^ |
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zztop11
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by zztop11 on Jun 13, 2017 1:50:36 GMT
With wedding being at 2 pm and reception at 5:30, do people wear one thing to the ceremony and then change into the cocktail attire afterwards?
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Post by txdancermom on Jun 13, 2017 1:51:27 GMT
I think you will be fine - I remember seeing that dress at JJill, and it would be nice for a summer wedding
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2017 1:52:38 GMT
Without seeing the dress, what you described doesn't sound formal at all. Can you post a photo of a similar dress?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2017 2:00:55 GMT
She wants dresses ( stylish pants) and suits ( with ties).
She doesn't uncle bob to show up in those weird blue pants and and open collar shirt. And aunt Maude to wear that polyester navy skirt with the old cardigan.
( I should post photos.).
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Post by Scrapbrat on Jun 13, 2017 2:39:01 GMT
I think it means cocktail dresses for women.
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Post by ~summer~ on Jun 13, 2017 2:45:05 GMT
I agree that formal attire is for a night time wedding hence your outfit sounds perfect.
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Post by kenziekeeper on Jun 13, 2017 2:56:58 GMT
I think you will be totally fine. I'm also in a Midwest city. Attended a wedding in May that said "formal attire" and had similar questions. I wore a 3/4 length sleeve, knee-length, navy, lace overlay dress from Loft and was concerned I wouldn't be formal enough... It was COMPLETELY fine. I really think people are putting "formal" to avoid having someone show up in jeans. I have another wedding to attend in July that also states formal - I won't wear the same dress because of the 3/4 sleeves, and will go with something like you described.
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Post by scrappychick on Jun 13, 2017 3:05:12 GMT
I would wear what you've planned to the wedding, and change into something more dressy for the reception.
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Post by papersilly on Jun 13, 2017 4:18:30 GMT
If the invite said formal attire and the wedding was in the evening, I would wear a floor length gown. Last year we went to an afternoon formal wedding. I wore a black cocktail with beading on it.
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hannahruth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,849
Location: Adelaide, Australia
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Post by hannahruth on Jun 13, 2017 4:47:50 GMT
Quiet frankly, I think my hang-up is formal attire for a 2 p.m. wedding. Sounds a bit over the top for that time of day, but I'm sure its because of the reception location. At 2.00 pm I would not be "dressed" formally. I would go in what you have described and change for the 5.30 pm venue, into formal dress. I have been to weddings early afternoon where people have come as though they are out shopping or a casual event but at the reception venue are dressed up. No uncommon in Australia though not every one does this. |
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 21:00:39 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2017 8:46:01 GMT
All I know is that I was at a 5pm wedding in NC last weekend and as much as I adore the bride and groom, I'm feeling super annoyed about the fact that they didn't encourage "casual dress" on the invitation or by word of mouth. There I was, all formal in 4" heels and having to traipse across gravel to get to grass and hike 1/4 mile through bushes (really) to get to the wedding. Then carry my chair (!!!!) to the reception area, another 1/4 mile away. All on ground that had gravel in it and soft enough for my shoes to sink. I took them off at the reception, but it was hurtful to my feet and my shoes were ruined. I hope that by requiring formal attire, it means that you won't be sinking into ground somewhere! p.s. I am also covered in mosquito bites! Oh gosh that's sounds actually pretty awful and they definitely should have advised the guests!! Last year we went to a barn wedding in a valley that involved lots of walking over uneven terrain, but they warned guests on the invite and no tromping through bushes, thankfully! They also had bug spray out for the evening. |
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