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Post by phoenixcov on Jul 29, 2017 10:55:26 GMT
What great news. Best of luck in your new home.
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Post by clarencelynn on Jul 29, 2017 12:02:28 GMT
I liked your update! You are very brave to make this change but it sounds like it may be best for you! Good luck and stay strong.
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Post by baslp on Jul 29, 2017 12:05:39 GMT
Congrats on your new apartment. Sending positive thoughts and peace your way!
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Deleted
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Jun 23, 2024 2:12:38 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 29, 2017 12:08:29 GMT
Good update. You need to get away from them. Good luck. Cindy don't give up on your daughters. With you leaving the marital home, the kids (even your adult children) staying with your STBXH are going to be getting an earful of hatred from him. I refer to the living situation as the "cesspool of hate". Look at how your STBXH has controlled and manipulated you. Do you not see that he will do the same to your daughters? At some point, they're going to be out of his home and with the new Cindy, they're clearly going to see what kind of man their father is and there will be plenty of time and opportunity to re-build with your children. I left the marital home because I did not want to be "stuck" with it in the settlement and as my youngest was entering his senior year of high school, we were quickly approaching that empty nest. My eldest DD (23) left the nest, but circumstances required her needing to come back home. Her dad had treated her so poorly in the year since I'd left the marital home, that when she needed a place to stay for a while, she called me and is with me because she wasn't going back to his house. All 3 of my kids have seen a difference in their dad...stuff that I used to see all the time...stuff that I suppose I "shielded" them from. They've each told me that he treats them like he treated me. While I hate the fact that their relationship is strained, my point is, kids will see the truth. You don't need to say or do anything...but they'll see it.
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J u l e e
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Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Jul 29, 2017 12:10:38 GMT
I can't wait until you update us some day soon when you've come home from work and are spending a calm and peaceful evening in your own place, surrounded by things you chose, and doing whatever it is you want to do!
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Post by christine58 on Jul 29, 2017 12:47:59 GMT
Update 7/28/17: I did it. I rented an apartment and I feel at peace with the decision. Its a 1 bedroom on the 3rd floor with a nice view. I can move in on Monday. There is a nice young lady with a chihuahua who lives across from me. I decided that I will approach this in a mature way. I'm going to tell the family that I feel it will be in everyone's best interest for me to get my own place because there is too much tension and unhappiness here and I hope it will be better for all of us if I get my own place. I hope so too. Can the cats go with you or not?? I hope he doesn't cause you any issues when you move out. Good luck!!
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lisaknits
Pearl Clutcher
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May 28, 2015 16:14:56 GMT
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Post by lisaknits on Jul 29, 2017 13:02:01 GMT
So glad to read your update that you're moving forward and taking action sooner rather than later. Please keep us updated (as much as you feel comfortable doing) because we're pulling for you and wish you peace and happiness.
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imsirius
Prolific Pea
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Jul 12, 2014 19:59:28 GMT
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Post by imsirius on Jul 29, 2017 13:44:15 GMT
Yes, I agree with you. I haven't given up on getting a teaching job in Texas - it just has to wait until next year - or maybe until later during this school year. Although, I am against changing jobs during the school year because its not fair to my students. No, I can't live with friends or family. My family all have their own problems and I don't want to get into the middle of that. It wouldn't end well. I don't want to burden any friends with my drama. That would be humiliating. I won't threaten anyone anymore - I'll just stay in my scrapbook room and be quiet until I can get out of here. As much as you love your students, right now you have to put YOURSELF first!. If that means moving to TX and taking sub jobs, do it. Heck, move to TX and find a job in retail or whatever until your certification comes through. I would also highly recommend that you get those pictures to a safe place not on your property. Is it possible to still contact the photographer? Your son's ashes, as well. As hard as it is to ask, are your daughters both of yours or is one of you a step parent? The only reason I ask is that you said the marriage was 15 years. Either way, they are adults and you don't owe them anything. They are old enough to support themselves. Especially if they have attitude. Frankly, even though it's advised to not leave the marital home unless unsafe, sometimes it's just worth it. I have a friend who just went through that. She didn't have the resourcea to fight in court so chose to cut her losses. She lost her house, car, pretty much everything other than her own personal effects. But she GAINED peace, dignity and a whole new start in a new town. I will be praying for you. Please keep us posted. Flute, she said married 32 years..no sex in 15 years. Just to clarify.
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flute4peace
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Post by flute4peace on Jul 29, 2017 14:47:38 GMT
As much as you love your students, right now you have to put YOURSELF first!. If that means moving to TX and taking sub jobs, do it. Heck, move to TX and find a job in retail or whatever until your certification comes through. I would also highly recommend that you get those pictures to a safe place not on your property. Is it possible to still contact the photographer? Your son's ashes, as well. As hard as it is to ask, are your daughters both of yours or is one of you a step parent? The only reason I ask is that you said the marriage was 15 years. Either way, they are adults and you don't owe them anything. They are old enough to support themselves. Especially if they have attitude. Frankly, even though it's advised to not leave the marital home unless unsafe, sometimes it's just worth it. I have a friend who just went through that. She didn't have the resourcea to fight in court so chose to cut her losses. She lost her house, car, pretty much everything other than her own personal effects. But she GAINED peace, dignity and a whole new start in a new town. I will be praying for you. Please keep us posted. Flute, she said married 32 years..no sex in 15 years. Just to clarify. Ooooh! Thank you, that makes a lot more sense!!!!! O/P, my apologies for my lack of reading comprehension. ![:(](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/mYSUyHtG9Jrcmm_ydVcK.jpg)
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cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 26, 2014 0:42:38 GMT
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Post by cycworker on Jul 29, 2017 15:14:30 GMT
At first I was thinking you should just bite the bullet and move to Texas. Now, I'm thinking that this move, while keeping your current teaching job in Florida, will give you a chance to see if you'd be happy in Florida with a new life or if you want to follow through on the move to Texas. I had the same thoughts. Cindy - congrats. Very happy for you.
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purplebee
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Jun 27, 2014 20:37:34 GMT
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Post by purplebee on Jul 29, 2017 16:23:08 GMT
Great news, Cindy! Wishing you peace and joy in your new life.
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Post by gritzi on Jul 29, 2017 18:40:24 GMT
Wishing the best for you! I think is the first step to feeling at peace. Good luck!
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FurryP
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Jun 26, 2014 19:58:26 GMT
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Post by FurryP on Jul 29, 2017 19:25:19 GMT
I think we need some video to describe the general feeling on this thread.
Cindy your name is now Rocky. Those kids running after you? Those are not your students. They are the peas!
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Post by refugeepea on Jul 29, 2017 19:33:32 GMT
Yea! Good for you cindytred Please be sure to take out any personal possessions in your home. If you're husband is an alcoholic and already did all of that to your house, he might be even more spiteful. ![:(](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/mYSUyHtG9Jrcmm_ydVcK.jpg)
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jul 29, 2017 19:51:36 GMT
It is amazing how good you feel once you take the first step. And just be prepared that divorces can get really ugly. But nothing beats the feeling you'll have the day it's actually final. It was seriously one of the best days of my life. Good luck to you!
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Jul 29, 2017 20:14:06 GMT
Update 7/28/17: I did it. I rented an apartment and I feel at peace with the decision. I am so happy for you!! The day you move in to your own place will be day 1 of your new peaceful life.
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Post by cindytred on Jul 30, 2017 0:49:26 GMT
Yes, I agree with you. I haven't given up on getting a teaching job in Texas - it just has to wait until next year - or maybe until later during this school year. Although, I am against changing jobs during the school year because its not fair to my students. No, I can't live with friends or family. My family all have their own problems and I don't want to get into the middle of that. It wouldn't end well. I don't want to burden any friends with my drama. That would be humiliating. I won't threaten anyone anymore - I'll just stay in my scrapbook room and be quiet until I can get out of here. As much as you love your students, right now you have to put YOURSELF first!. If that means moving to TX and taking sub jobs, do it. Heck, move to TX and find a job in retail or whatever until your certification comes through. I wish I could - but I don't have the means to do that.I would also highly recommend that you get those pictures to a safe place not on your property. Is it possible to still contact the photographer? Your son's ashes, as well. I was the photographer so I can always make another one of the canvas. I don't think anything is in harms way right now. But thanks for reminding me.As hard as it is to ask, are your daughters both of yours or is one of you a step parent? The only reason I ask is that you said the marriage was 15 years. Either way, they are adults and you don't owe them anything. They are old enough to support themselves. Especially if they have attitude. All 3 kids are his - we've been married 32 years. It was never a happy marriage - but it started becoming loveless 15 years ago. Thats also when he started interfering with the parenting. Up until then I'd been raising the kids myself while he was out drunk all the time. The oldest lived on her own but recently moved back in to save money so she can buy a house. She's a teacher too. The youngest is a senior in college this year.Frankly, even though it's advised to not leave the marital home unless unsafe, sometimes it's just worth it. I have a friend who just went through that. She didn't have the resourcea to fight in court so chose to cut her losses. She lost her house, car, pretty much everything other than her own personal effects. But she GAINED peace, dignity and a whole new start in a new town. Yes, I talked to my attorney yesterday and he said the bottom line is the mortgage is half in my name so I'm entitled to half of the equity - no matter where I live. Florida is a no-fault state and everything is split in half anyway. I have a lot to lose - including security in my old age (I'm 58 years old) - but I agree with your friend - peace and dignity are more valuable.I will be praying for you. Please keep us posted. Thank you. I will.
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Post by cindytred on Jul 30, 2017 0:56:59 GMT
Update 7/28/17: I did it. I rented an apartment and I feel at peace with the decision. Its a 1 bedroom on the 3rd floor with a nice view. I can move in on Monday. There is a nice young lady with a chihuahua who lives across from me. I decided that I will approach this in a mature way. I'm going to tell the family that I feel it will be in everyone's best interest for me to get my own place because there is too much tension and unhappiness here and I hope it will be better for all of us if I get my own place. I hope so too. Can the cats go with you or not?? I hope he doesn't cause you any issues when you move out. Good luck!! I hope so too. Can the cats go with you or not?? I hope he doesn't cause you any issues when you move out. Good luck!! Yes, I'm taking 2 cats. The apartment manager was so nice that she waved the pet deposit and is only charging me for one of them!
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Post by cindytred on Jul 30, 2017 1:02:56 GMT
Good update. You need to get away from them. Good luck. Cindy don't give up on your daughters. With you leaving the marital home, the kids (even your adult children) staying with your STBXH are going to be getting an earful of hatred from him. I refer to the living situation as the "cesspool of hate". Look at how your STBXH has controlled and manipulated you. Do you not see that he will do the same to your daughters? At some point, they're going to be out of his home and with the new Cindy, they're clearly going to see what kind of man their father is and there will be plenty of time and opportunity to re-build with your children. I left the marital home because I did not want to be "stuck" with it in the settlement and as my youngest was entering his senior year of high school, we were quickly approaching that empty nest. My eldest DD (23) left the nest, but circumstances required her needing to come back home. Her dad had treated her so poorly in the year since I'd left the marital home, that when she needed a place to stay for a while, she called me and is with me because she wasn't going back to his house. All 3 of my kids have seen a difference in their dad...stuff that I used to see all the time...stuff that I suppose I "shielded" them from. They've each told me that he treats them like he treated me. While I hate the fact that their relationship is strained, my point is, kids will see the truth. You don't need to say or do anything...but they'll see it. I'm really not worried about it. I love them, of course, but I know they are looking out for themselves right now. The oldest has a huge problem with STBX's drinking problem. She moved out for 3 years because she hated it so much. My youngest daughter is nicknamed Switzerland because she doesn't get involved and stays neutral. The youngest depends on her dad for her car, insurance, apartment, etc., that he pays for. My oldest has always been high strung, controlling, and critical of me. I'm used to it.
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Post by cindytred on Jul 30, 2017 1:05:23 GMT
I can't wait until you update us some day soon when you've come home from work and are spending a calm and peaceful evening in your own place, surrounded by things you chose, and doing whatever it is you want to do! I know! I can't wait for that either! Just a few more days!! Also I can't wait to get back to work on Monday so I will have something else to concentrate on.
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Post by cindytred on Jul 30, 2017 1:09:10 GMT
I think we need some video to describe the general feeling on this thread. Cindy your name is now Rocky. Those kids running after you? Those are not your students. They are the peas! Oh my gosh, thank you so much! Ya'lls encouragement gave me the courage to do it. The Peas have been through it all - and know all. Your love and support means so much to me. Thank you!
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flute4peace
Drama Llama
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Post by flute4peace on Jul 30, 2017 1:18:04 GMT
As much as you love your students, right now you have to put YOURSELF first!. If that means moving to TX and taking sub jobs, do it. Heck, move to TX and find a job in retail or whatever until your certification comes through. I wish I could - but I don't have the means to do that.I would also highly recommend that you get those pictures to a safe place not on your property. Is it possible to still contact the photographer? Your son's ashes, as well. I was the photographer so I can always make another one of the canvas. I don't think anything is in harms way right now. But thanks for reminding me.As hard as it is to ask, are your daughters both of yours or is one of you a step parent? The only reason I ask is that you said the marriage was 15 years. Either way, they are adults and you don't owe them anything. They are old enough to support themselves. Especially if they have attitude. All 3 kids are his - we've been married 32 years. It was never a happy marriage - but it started becoming loveless 15 years ago. Thats also when he started interfering with the parenting. Up until then I'd been raising the kids myself while he was out drunk all the time. The oldest lived on her own but recently moved back in to save money so she can buy a house. She's a teacher too. The youngest is a senior in college this year.Frankly, even though it's advised to not leave the marital home unless unsafe, sometimes it's just worth it. I have a friend who just went through that. She didn't have the resourcea to fight in court so chose to cut her losses. She lost her house, car, pretty much everything other than her own personal effects. But she GAINED peace, dignity and a whole new start in a new town. Yes, I talked to my attorney yesterday and he said the bottom line is the mortgage is half in my name so I'm entitled to half of the equity - no matter where I live. Florida is a no-fault state and everything is split in half anyway. I have a lot to lose - including security in my old age (I'm 58 years old) - but I agree with your friend - peace and dignity are more valuable.I will be praying for you. Please keep us posted. Thank you. I will.I'm very relieved to hear that you have the files from your family photo.
Please accept my sincere apologies for getting the years mixed up on your marriage. Someone upthread was kind enough to point it out to me. I really hope that your girls will eventually come around to seeing how this man is treating you.
I'm incredibly proud of you for taking the apartment. Your future awaits!!
P.S. If your avatar is a picture of you, there is NO WAY you're 58. You're gorgeous!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 23, 2024 2:12:38 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 30, 2017 1:26:38 GMT
Wow! You go! I can feel the positive vibe in your update! I'm very excited for you! Once you are in your own place, then you can clear your head and start making strides towards your future. I hope your daughters come around to visit you and notice how much happier you will seem. Good luck and God Bless!
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