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Post by smalltowngirlie on Aug 26, 2017 19:22:06 GMT
There have been 2 instances recently where friends of ours had surprise gifts from the husbands.
One was a new car. He came home driving the new car he had just bought for her. She as not at the dealership when it was purchased.
Another was where the husband surprised wife with a new puppy.
DH said he could never surprise me like that and I agree. If the car is mine I want to pick it out, I want some say in it. Plus that is a huge expense that I know we would need to have discussed before hand. With a puppy, that is a huge commitment and again, I want some say in what puppy we get. I do not know how much the couples may have talked about this before the actual surprise, but I would still like to be there when the final choice is made.
I am just curious how others feel.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 1, 2024 15:34:26 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 26, 2017 19:25:15 GMT
Dh got me a surprise cat once. Didn't mind that. Got me a surprise organ once. Sent it back. So it's pretty risky.
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Post by scraphollie27 on Aug 26, 2017 19:26:32 GMT
I'd have been extremely pissed off by both of those "surprises". A new car is a very personal decision (I've been looking for a year now) and a puppy is a life altering commitment. Neither of those should ever be surprises.
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Post by lisacharlotte on Aug 26, 2017 19:28:46 GMT
Neither would be refused by me. After 27 years DH knows what I like. But we're not surprise people.
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wellway
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,042
Jun 25, 2014 20:50:09 GMT
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Post by wellway on Aug 26, 2017 19:28:53 GMT
You go to actions, labels, remove. Just did it for you
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Post by smalltowngirlie on Aug 26, 2017 19:29:27 GMT
You go to actions, labels, remove. Just did it for you Thank you!
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kate
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,586
Location: The city that doesn't sleep
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Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
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Post by kate on Aug 26, 2017 19:29:33 GMT
A puppy??? That definitely must be discussed. Other things... well, for our budget, a car would have to be discussed. I have a friend whose DH got her a vintage "fun" car for her birthday. They have the means and the garage space for it (she still has her regular car for everyday use), and she loved it.
I don't dislike surprises, but it's much safer if the giver knows exactly what I want.
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Post by femalebusiness on Aug 26, 2017 19:30:06 GMT
No, no surprises. If you want to surprise me clean the bathrooms, which he does some times. Luckily my husband and I have always been on the same page about money.
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peabay
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Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Aug 26, 2017 19:30:08 GMT
I love surprises. Car? Awesome! Puppy? No thank you. I love my dog and don't want another one. I wouldn't be happy with a new puppy.
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Post by bc2ca on Aug 26, 2017 19:31:24 GMT
I'd have been extremely pissed off by both of those "surprises". A new car is a very personal decision (I've been looking for a year now) and a puppy is a life altering commitment. Neither of those should ever be surprises. If these were truly surprises I would not be happy. If we had discussed them beforehand and I was just surprised by the timing, I would be fine. SaveSave
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 1, 2024 15:34:27 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 26, 2017 19:35:19 GMT
I do like surprises but in the two mentioned I would assume that they had talked about it at some point. Yes, my DH does know my dream car but no way am I getting it as we can't afford it so I know he wouldn't surprise me with it.
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Post by beaglemom on Aug 26, 2017 19:42:45 GMT
I am torn. DH sucks at gifts. So while it would be nice to be surprised with something. He has only really nailed it maybe 3 times in the 16 years we have been together. Two of those times where diamond earrings, the first were super tiny for our first christmas and then slightly bigger for our 10 year anniversary. The rest of the time not so much. Now I have been hinting at needing a new sewing machine - especially if we move overseas, I'm doing to need a dual voltage - if he were to do the research and get me one or a gift card for one. I would be over the moon. There isn't much else I can think of that I would want to be surprised with. I love my car and I'm not getting a new one anytime soon. We are not in a position to get a pet right now.
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Post by cadoodlebug on Aug 26, 2017 19:46:54 GMT
My DH knows better than to surprise me with either of those. He did throw a surprise 65th birthday party that was awesome!
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Post by melanell on Aug 26, 2017 19:51:14 GMT
Surprise me by repainting the front door when it needs to be done, or by cleaning the bathrooms, or with some fresh flowers or a little treat from the local bakery. Please do not surprise me with a major purchase made without my input or a living creature that I now need to care for.
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Post by PolarGreen12 on Aug 26, 2017 20:02:42 GMT
A puppy would be an awesome surprise. A car, if they knew what I wanted and got that, I'd be okay with the surprise.
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Deleted
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Nov 1, 2024 15:34:27 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 26, 2017 20:31:03 GMT
I think it comes down to if there had been any discussion beforehand. A new car without any input from me, not even an inkling of what I want? I'd be peeved and it'd be his car. Granted, I'm not picky about cars but I do have cars I'd prefer over others. A puppy? I'd hope those two had talked about getting one and what she wanted. DH wants a basset hound really bad. I know he wants one. I know he really wants a red and white one vs a tri-color one. If a chance popped up and we could afford it, I'd surprise him with it. Any other puppy? No. He knows I'd love to have an airedale so if he surprised me with one, I'd be ok with it.
So that puts me in the camp of I'm ok with surprises as long as we had talked about it before and he knows what it is I want vs just going out and buying a car or getting any puppy/kitten.
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likescarrots
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Aug 16, 2014 17:52:53 GMT
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Post by likescarrots on Aug 26, 2017 20:38:58 GMT
He knows me well enough to know which kind of car I would want and also which kind of puppy (though I doubt he would ever surprise me with that since he doesn't really want any pets...).
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Post by gar on Aug 26, 2017 20:40:06 GMT
Dh knows what I like car wise and has replaced my lease car as a surprise and I was thrilled. If he got a puppy I'd think he'd lost his mind - no way are either of us interested in having a pet. For our 25th wedding anniversary he booked a trip to St Vincent as a surprise but we had been discussing a holiday quite a bit so he was on pretty safe ground
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StephDRebel
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Jul 5, 2014 1:53:49 GMT
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Post by StephDRebel on Aug 26, 2017 20:49:26 GMT
Not those two items. There aren't many cars I can drive comfortably and it took me 9 months to make a decision when I was actually car shopping.
If you want to surprise me, Send me to the spa or buy me diamonds.
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Post by Zee on Aug 26, 2017 20:50:44 GMT
I would not want a car or a puppy as a surprise.
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Post by padresfan619 on Aug 26, 2017 21:01:54 GMT
I got a cat as a surprise 7 years ago and it was the best surprise ever.
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Mystie
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Jun 25, 2014 19:53:37 GMT
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Post by Mystie on Aug 26, 2017 21:03:12 GMT
Surprises are fun, but just little ones...not expensive or life-changing surprise gifts.
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Post by refugeepea on Aug 26, 2017 21:29:31 GMT
Me and my husband buy what we want. We don't care about surprises. It's not that I think they are bad. I don't see the point. I would not be happy with the new car purchase because that's too much money and there's too many to choose from. I would want a say. I would be pissed about a new puppy because it would be obvious he forgot I'm allergic to them. I'd honestly be shocked. We are in agreement about not owning pets.
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Post by mom on Aug 26, 2017 21:39:52 GMT
My husband bought my BMW for me without me knowing. He knows me. He knows what I like/don't. I love my car and he did a great job picking it out.
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Post by Scrapper100 on Aug 26, 2017 21:40:51 GMT
Oh neither of those would go well here. I would want I out on my car I wouldn't want someone else picking it out. A puppy I would want input on as well I know that DH would never come home with a puppy.
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Post by pondrunner on Aug 26, 2017 21:44:15 GMT
I think it depends on the big surprise. I would not want someone to purchase the car for me, because I would very much prefer to select my own car. I suppose if I had had a dream car for many years and my spouse up and purchased it for me - that might be okay. But just one day surprising me with a new car, no I wouldn't want that.
An animal that requires care is also a joint decision. Don't surprise me with that.
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melissa
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Jun 25, 2014 20:45:00 GMT
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Post by melissa on Aug 26, 2017 21:48:53 GMT
Dh bought me a car once as a complete surprise. I really wanted 4 wheel drive after an incident where I had trouble getting out of a snow bank in my tiny little sports car. He came home with a small SUV for me for Valentine's Day.
He has a surprise vacation planned for May. I know this because he blocked out dates on the calendar. I am betting it is a cruise as he made sure dd and I both renewed passports recently. We have not had a family vacation with just the 3 of us in at least 2 years. We used to have at least one every year. I am looking forward to it, whatever it is.
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Post by txdancermom on Aug 26, 2017 21:52:14 GMT
I would not be happy if dh came home with either a car or a pet for me if we had not talked about either before. as for cars - dh and I have very different ideas for cars - he likes "performance" and engineering (he drives an audi standard transmission), I like practical but comfortable (Honda crv)
as for a pet - we aren't home enough.
big surprises in general - don't think dh would think of something like that - his mind doesn't work that way -
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Post by gmcwife1 on Aug 26, 2017 21:56:21 GMT
I'm not a fan of surprises but I do appreciate when my husband surprises me with a gift. Including the RV he bought me
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Aug 26, 2017 23:36:24 GMT
I would never say no to a new car. But I would want some say.
A puppy? I better had said I wanted one!
Generally, big surprises are a good thing especially if they are jewelry.
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