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Post by Karenina on Aug 31, 2014 14:38:22 GMT
In Jr. High - all the girls were wearing blue eyeshadow and pink blush (1985-ish) My mom never said "you may not wear make-up" I felt super cool in my blue eyeshadow. Weeks go by One random car-ride, Mom says "Did you know they call it make-up to make up for your imperfections? You're so lucky that you don't need it. You have nothing to make up for, you are so pretty." She said it so cool and casual that I still don't wear much makeup Do you have a nice mom story to share?
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Post by gorgeouskid on Aug 31, 2014 14:54:39 GMT
My mom told me that I was the nicest person she knows. That made me feel great.
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Post by genny on Aug 31, 2014 15:08:56 GMT
I LOVE that statement!
My mom was raised during the depression during harsh times and in a climate where there was not much room for emotion. My Granny raised her 6 girls alone, her husband died while she was pregnant with her youngest, on a farm in a time when it was unheard of for a woman to run a farm alone. Anyway, mom and aunts always knew how much their mama loved them, but she was never one to be verbal about it. So...my mom is the same way. I've never doubted her love for me, she's just not one to say or show it the way so many of us do. She was/is very strict, by the book, and conservative, and so very graceful and independent as well. But I guess old age (and grandkids) have softened her up a bit!
I don't remember anything from childhood, but recently she's said a couple of things to me that warmed my heart. She has recently told me how proud she is of my children and what a great job I've done raising them into respectful, good teenagers.
After my mother in law died in April from lung cancer after living with us for 10 months and me being her primary caretaker (she was a very difficult woman and being ill made it much worse and it was a very trying time for our family in so many ways) she told me how proud she was of me for the way I cared for MIL and how wonderfully I'd handled such a horrible situation. She called ME graceful. It touched me very deeply.
I've always had bad skin - horrible acne as a teen and have had scars all my life as a result. I spent years making the cycle worse by wearing too much makeup to cover the scars which led to more breakouts...etc. I stopped wearing foundation years ago which pretty much stopped the breakouts. In the last year I've started using essential oils and natural products that I make myself on my face. She remarked a few months ago how great my skin looked. Then a couple of months ago she asked me what I was doing to my face - that I had never looked better and had I found the fountain of youth? LOL you know that made me feel fantastic.
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Post by 950nancy on Aug 31, 2014 15:32:58 GMT
My mom told me one time as a young teenager that if I had unprotected sex I would probably get pregnant. She was very casual about it but it stuck in my head. She was right. The first time I had unprotected sex I did get pregnant. I was 28 and it was the first time we tried to conceive.
She had a way of making me feel like I was the best thing that ever happened in her life. What a great way to grow up. She passed away when I was 23 and I still miss her every single day. Everyone needs a personal cheerleader.
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Post by tommygirl on Aug 31, 2014 15:43:42 GMT
My Mom has told me so many wonderful things. (I am also thankful for the many times she has held her tongue!) When I was in high school and feeling pretty yucky about myself she told me I have a beautiful smile. I wasn't fishing for compliments and she was very sincere when she said it. I totally believed her and it helped me through a rough patch. When I was in graduate school I called her to tell her I wanted to "take a break". She told me to push through and not to quit. That was the nicest, smartest advice. I have my master's degree now. I now realize that if I had "taken a break" it would have been hard to go back, and I probably would have quit the program altogether.
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Post by evnimom on Aug 31, 2014 15:47:36 GMT
Karenina, I like that a lot. I need to say the same thing to my 12-year-old DD. She is starting to wear make up but I'm trying to get her to wear it with a light touch. I wish I could remember something nice my mom said to me.
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Post by evelynr on Aug 31, 2014 16:21:51 GMT
What a nice thread Karenina!
I believe in mom's being cheerleaders and showing a love that could never be questioned. I try my best to do that for my 2 teenage boys - but I struggle with dishing out constructive criticism which I really think they need more of. I just always want them to remember me being encouraging - sometimes its hard to do both.
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TankTop
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1,871
Posts: 4,767
Location: On the couch...
Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
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Post by TankTop on Aug 31, 2014 16:22:47 GMT
I am so happy that you all have these memories of your mother. My mom left me when I was young, and until the point she left she was pretty awful. As a previous poster said....everyone needs a personal cheerleader.
I have recently felt like I have done everything wrong with my teen daughter. I hope and pray she will one day have good memories of me like you all have of your mothers. I hope she feels like I am her cheerleader.
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purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,726
Jun 27, 2014 20:37:34 GMT
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Post by purplebee on Aug 31, 2014 16:39:37 GMT
My Mom, who is still with us at 89, in pretty good health, and who is still quite sharp mentally, has always been my cheerleader. She wasn't one to be effusive with compliments, but I and my siblings never doubted the fact that she loved us, and was, and is, totally on our side, and has our backs. She was great when I was a teen. We didn't have a lot of money, my Dad worked two jobs, but we always had what we needed. Mom made sure I had decent clothes, and made sure I had an occasional splurge of "in" stuff, like the cranberry colored Wranglers that kids were wearing when I was 13, and a pair of white go go boots when everyone was wearing them with their mini skirts. She would go to the store the day the newest Beatles album came out and have it waiting for me when I got home from school. She and my bf's Mom bought us tickets to see the Beatles at Forest Hills Tennis Stadium, it was a complete surprise, and one of the wonderful things she did for me as a kid.
She is one of the most laid back, good hearted people I know, and I am soooo lucky that she is my Mom.
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Post by myboysnme on Aug 31, 2014 16:55:39 GMT
My mom told me I am her best friend.
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Post by bc2ca on Aug 31, 2014 17:29:50 GMT
It's funny, I can't think of one specific thing my mom said to me, but she is the nicest person I know and lived her life with such a positive outlook and as a great example of treating others the way you want to be treated. Sadly, she has dementia and is in full-time care now, but she always has a great smile and still gives the best hugs .
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sharlag
Drama Llama
I like my artsy with a little bit of fartsy.
Posts: 6,574
Location: Kansas
Jun 26, 2014 12:57:48 GMT
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Post by sharlag on Aug 31, 2014 17:31:02 GMT
I think the most credible compliments came from my mom when I overheard her praising me to a 3rd party, like a friend at a social event, or in a phone conversation.
It wasn't like she was trying to bolster me up, it was like a more legitimate comment because she wasn't intending for me to hear it.
Words of affirmation are my "Love Language", but parental 'attaboys' can feel (to me) like they're just parents trying to instill self-confidence, rather than actual compliments.
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Post by Giraffe on Aug 31, 2014 17:40:07 GMT
I'm in my 50's. About 20 years or so ago my mom told me that I was an absolute joy in her life, and that if her and my dad knew they'd have another child like me, they would have had another one. (Something like that - you get the idea!) Apparently, my parents had decided to only have two kids - I have two big brothers - and I was not planned.
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Post by SabrinaM on Aug 31, 2014 17:41:00 GMT
What a sweet thread!! I'm so glad you all had wonderful, kind mothers.
Fortunately, my mom is a much more loving grandmother than mother. I've learned from her sharp, nasty tongue how to build my own children up rather than tear them down in anger.
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Post by MommyofTriplets on Aug 31, 2014 17:44:16 GMT
My mom told me once that she admired the way my DH and I could have a disagreement, get it all out, and just let it go. It made me feel good and, obviously, I haven't forgotten that she said it or how it made me feel.
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back to *pea*ality
Pearl Clutcher
Not my circus, not my monkeys ~refugee pea #59
Posts: 3,149
Jun 25, 2014 19:51:11 GMT
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Post by back to *pea*ality on Aug 31, 2014 17:47:27 GMT
What a sweet thread!! I'm so glad you all had wonderful, kind mothers. Fortunately, my mom is a much more loving grandmother than mother. I've learned from her sharp, nasty tongue how to build my own children up rather than tear them down in anger. My my mom is gone now and we didn't have a good relationship but she did tell me once that I was a good mother. I don't have much to hang onto for good memories but I do have that one moment and those kinds words.
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ladypop
Junior Member
Posts: 85
Aug 5, 2014 3:36:55 GMT
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Post by ladypop on Aug 31, 2014 17:52:34 GMT
Earlier this year, I overheard eldest son talking to my mum about university, his fave classes etc. Pause in the conversation. Then "Why doesn't mum work somewhere that uses her degree?" (I currently work early shifts as a school cleaner after training in Early Childhood Education). Mum replied that my current job suited me better. (Both boys are Aspies, means I can be home to see youngest son onto the bus and be there to deal with stuff in the afternoons etc). Disbelieving noise from Firstborn. He knows that it's heavy work and I start when it's dark and I come home really tired, etc etc. (It's not as bad as it sounds). If I worked in my field of study it'd be much easier, (not sure about that lol) I wouldn't have to get up so early etc. Mum's response was "You and your brother are her field of study. Everything she's ever done since your first breath has been to make a difference for you both. You are two very lucky boys". Felt a bit special after that, I can tell you.
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Post by Goldynn on Aug 31, 2014 17:53:07 GMT
My mom wrote me a note recently telling me I'm a great hostess and great cook and always make everyone feel so welcome and comfortable in my home.
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Post by padresfan619 on Aug 31, 2014 17:55:29 GMT
I was born a few days before my parent's 10th wedding anniversary and eventually came home the day of it. Both of my parents have always said that I was the best anniversary present they have ever had.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 25, 2024 14:56:16 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2014 18:09:50 GMT
My Mom didn't tell me she thought I was a good mom, but she told me my dad said I was!
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Post by 950nancy on Aug 31, 2014 18:25:13 GMT
What a nice thread Karenina!
I believe in mom's being cheerleaders and showing a love that could never be questioned. I try my best to do that for my 2 teenage boys - but I struggle with dishing out constructive criticism which I really think they need more of. I just always want them to remember me being encouraging - sometimes its hard to do both.
I also have two boys, 18 and 20. It is hard to give enough compliments to encourage and enough reality checks to keep it real. Anytime I mention something to them they don't like, one will yell to the other, "Get out the notes. I've got another story for her eulogy." I have a feeling it is going to be a very long funeral.
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Post by danor98 on Aug 31, 2014 18:48:44 GMT
Mum's response was "You and your brother are her field of study. Everything she's ever done since your first breath has been to make a difference for you both. You are two very lucky boys". Felt a bit special after that, I can tell you.
This brought me to tears. You are a very lucky woman to be thought of so wonderfully by your mom. Enjoy that......
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azredhead
Drama Llama
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Jun 25, 2014 22:49:18 GMT
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Post by azredhead on Aug 31, 2014 18:57:14 GMT
Its ok for redheads to wear pink sometimes. Her mom was not so nice to them growing up , verbally abusive and would only let them wear certain colors, very controlling. My mom says she never complimented them when they did look nice. My mom will often comment if I have a cute shirt on or something. My grandma had told her it was vain if you looked in the mirror (my grandma was VERY old fashion) They had a really bad relationship. My moms not a trend setter by anymeans but she said it was important to have your own style in everything. Especially your home. When we first got our house she said "make it yours". My mom helps me and my siblings but she also taught us to work hard and be as independent as possible.
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brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
Jun 26, 2014 16:09:34 GMT
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Post by brandy327 on Aug 31, 2014 19:14:13 GMT
I don't ever remember my mom being complimentary about much. A year or two ago, I posted a weight loss pic and she said she was proud of me...always had been, always will be.
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Post by metaldancer on Aug 31, 2014 19:18:04 GMT
My mom has always said the day I was born was the happiest day of her life. When I called her on my birthday this year, she answered the phone with "It's still the happiest day of my life!" Love that crazy old lady!
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TankTop
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1,871
Posts: 4,767
Location: On the couch...
Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
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Post by TankTop on Sept 1, 2014 1:20:23 GMT
My mom has always said the day I was born was the happiest day of her life. When I called her on my birthday this year, she answered the phone with "It's still the happiest day of my life!" Love that crazy old lady! Aweeee! Love this.
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Post by stingfan on Sept 1, 2014 1:36:14 GMT
I have 4 brothers - no sisters. At the funeral of one of my mom's closest friends, she said: "I'm so glad I have a daughter." I'm not sure why it meant so much to hear that at that time, but it did. And it still does...
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Post by gryroagain on Sept 1, 2014 1:42:20 GMT
Ah, lady pop, that is awesome!
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Post by Zee on Sept 1, 2014 1:58:37 GMT
In Jr. High - all the girls were wearing blue eyeshadow and pink blush (1985-ish) My mom never said "you may not wear make-up" I felt super cool in my blue eyeshadow. Weeks go by One random car-ride, Mom says "Did you know they call it make-up to make up for your imperfections? You're so lucky that you don't need it. You have nothing to make up for, you are so pretty." She said it so cool and casual that I still don't wear much makeup Do you have a nice mom story to share? That's nice but why can't a woman just be free to do whatever she likes with her face without judgmental comments like that? I love makeup. I love how I look with dramatic eye makeup, so does my DD. I guess I'm glad my non-makeup-wearing mother never told me that because I love my Cleopatra eyes and she thinks I look pretty with or without. It's not everyone's style, but it's mine and it makes me happy and confident to have my face on. The older I get though, the lazier I am. I go to the store bare faced all the time but if it's a family or professional function I've got my game face on!
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
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Jun 25, 2014 20:06:48 GMT
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Post by freebird on Sept 1, 2014 2:09:28 GMT
I don't have a really great relationship with my mom. Never had since my sister came along and fulfilled her dreams. :/ A few years ago, she gave me a card with a note about how proud she was of me. She's never told me anything like that before. I kept it and read it once in a while.
I'm trying to reprogram my own brain to think better thoughts about my mom. (it's hard). thank you for this thread OP, it reminded me of that card and that's one more nice thing I can think about that my mom did for me.
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