Thoughtful article from Mayim Bailik

But even that is greatly troubling to me because it equates sexual harassment and assault with *sex* and desirability. As if only beautiful girls are at risk. And that's simply not true - and of course is not somehow more acceptable, as if they could avoid being victimized if they looked different. Sexual harassment and assault are all about power, not sexual desire. 

She may never have been a victim, but that was frankly luck. She seems to think it's because of her good decisions, which suggests that those who *are* victimized are making bad decisions. 

I just think there are a lot of problematic undercurrents to this article that I am sure she did not realize when she wrote it, but give an insight into her view of the issue. 

I read the article on Sunday and was upset after reading it.

While I don't think she *intended* to blame victims - she did. And she implied that she made good choices so it didn't happen to her. That dressing modestly helped save her. Well, in six grade I was wearing overalls and a turtleneck shirt with a pair of Ked shoes. Being modest didn't help me.

Honestly - I am disappointed. At no point does she place the blame squarely on who deserves it all. The people who CHOSE to commit sexual assault.

I disagree, she said said in many polite ways that her face is ugly, she has no boobs and her body is covered up anyway. That's why sadly no one ever invited her back to their hotel room. She's not talking about anyone else's experience but her own. I wonder if she feels she missed out on a quintessential Hollywood experience that every women out there has had and thus this brings her back to feeling bad about her looks?

I absolutely disagree with you. It's clear she thinks others would be better off making similar choices. 

I grew up in a very conservative christian upbringing.  I was raised in very small, conservative schools that were run by this particular sect.  No make up, no jewelry, and very conservative clothing choices.  In middle school I was held down by one boy while another tried to kiss me.  I got away.  In one particular high school, it was common for the boys to grab butts and boobs of the girls with very little recourse for the girls.  I was grabbed just like others and then the comments were made about how I didn't have boobs or a butt to grab.  Yet they continued.  It got worse about age 16 when my mom's husband joined in.  

Being conservative, making conservative choices, being raised religious or conservative does not save you.  It happens in all cultures, religious beliefs, and house holds.  She is sadly misinformed and very lucky she has not gone through it like so many other women have.  But to say its because she was different and made conservative choices is BS and I really wish women who haven't experienced it would not make such comments.  It really does pat those of us on the head who have had it happen through no choice of our own.  It says that we should have done something different.  It doesn't hold the men responsible for their choices.  

m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_59baddd2e4b02da0e1405d2a

Blossom should take a look at this exhibit.

I think she's relaying her experiences and how she feels people reacted to her. I think the difficulty is extrapolating that to anything else or even as an example of anything other than her experiences. I'll leave aside the fact that I think she has some serious self esteem issues. I agree completely that it's too easy for it to sound like victim blaming - while she didn't say it, it certainly feels implied and really what's the point of writing this now if it's not to insinuate how you can navigate Hollywood without being assaulted.

I'll also say that right now I feel like we're combing so many different experiences with vastly different magnitudes of harm that everything feels more muddled than helpful to me. It's why I didn't participate in the metoo on facebook. While I appreciate the fact that people are trying to raise awareness. Lumping a catcall on the street and rape with a hashtag just doesn't feel right.

Newsflash: nuns and women in full cover are raped.

I know it's not Hollywood or a casting couch, but I wonder what self-protecting and wise decisions the Duggars sisters could have made to keep from being sexually assaulted? I'm pretty sure they have modesty and being conservative covered, so perhaps she could enlighten them with some of her wise decisions?

I do think when she wrote was interesting, and if she would have framed it in a different way, it probably would have been taken much better. It sounds like her experience in Hollywood was not the norm, and it sounds like she does have an interesting story to tell. But saying that her self-protecting and wise decisions are what saved her from harassment or assault, seems foolish at best.

How was it a swipe?  Danica was the girl who played on Wonder Years right?  If my 90s sitcom memory serves, it overlapped with Blossom and I have no difficulty imagining a young actress would like to look like her - I sure as hell did in the early 90s.  I guess I don't see how commenting that someone is attractive implies they're not intelligent.  What am I missing? 

To me it seemed like she was writing the ugly girl's revenge. I read/ see interviews with her where time and time again she puts herself in the category of being unwanted because of her looks. That's a self esteem issue, because only YOU can decide what standard of beauty you fit. I'm not at all saying that we don't live in a society where certain attributes are prized, but at what point do you stop letting that control you? She has lived her entire life writing and speaking about how she was the girl who no one ever wanted, and now here is her opportunity to say that she won. Sounds more like sour grapes than anything.