SweetieBsMom
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 25, 2014 19:55:12 GMT
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Post by SweetieBsMom on Sept 7, 2014 18:28:34 GMT
I look at it a lot like swimming lessons when they're little. It is an essential life skill, like math or reading. You must learn. It's not optional. I do not agree with this. Swimming, in my eyes, is a safety issue. I think everyone should know how to swim. Just like everyone should know how to read or do every day math. I don't think you "have" to learn to drive. I know several adults that do not have a license and do not drive. But they live in an area with good public transportation (Boston and NY) so they don't feel they need to.
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amom23
Drama Llama
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Jun 27, 2014 12:39:18 GMT
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Post by amom23 on Sept 7, 2014 18:31:00 GMT
Both of my older kids took their permit test right after their 14 birthdays and then took their driving tests as soon as they legally could. My youngest will do the same when he is old enough. We live in a rural area and on a farm. My kids needed to be able to drive. Neither of them has had any problems with driving at a younger age. Yes, it can be a little scary, but I truly feel kids need to be nudged in the direction of getting their license.
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Post by Baseballmom23 on Sept 7, 2014 18:32:49 GMT
my DS will be 16 in November. He hasn't shown any interest in learning. I've asked him twice and he says no. I'm not going to push him He's a good kid and works hard. Between my DH and I we can take him where he wants to go (older brother is in college out of state).
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MsKnit
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 26, 2014 19:06:42 GMT
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Post by MsKnit on Sept 7, 2014 18:34:19 GMT
This is so common.
The high school's student parking lot is laughable this year. There are half the number of cars from the previous 3 years I've been picking up the boy from school.
I forced him to get his learner's permit shortly after he turned 16. He could have had the permit at 15. But, he had no interest. He's 17 and has driven under 10 times total.
When this all started, I started comparing notes with other mom's. They have had the same experience. Some have forced their kids into getting their license, because they weren't driving them to college. Others are driving their kid to college classes. One mom was still driving her son when he was a college junior. Not sure if he is driving yet.
I would think it would be awkward to still be picked up & driven around by mom. But, the boy doesn't care. I even end up with extras. LOL!
I've learned to look at the positives of the situation. No increased insurance premiums. I know where he is, because he stays home most of the time. No worrying over getting that dreaded phone call that he's been in an accident.
We've come to the conclusion that the kids don't need to have their driver's license. They are able to socialize through on-line games & Skype. They have their own phones, so no having anyone nagging at them to get off the phone. Plus, gas is so expensive.
I know my son will play on-line games with his friends & have them on Skype through his Kindle. So they can play the game & talk at the same time.
Huge change from when I was of an age to get a learner's permit/driver's license. We (my friends & I) were at the DMV the first day possible. Heaven forbid your 16th birthday fall on a Sunday & you had to wait for Monday. It was so huge, our parents let us skip school that day to take the road test for the license. LOL!
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Post by myshelly on Sept 7, 2014 18:34:25 GMT
I look at it a lot like swimming lessons when they're little. It is an essential life skill, like math or reading. You must learn. It's not optional. I do not agree with this. Â Swimming, in my eyes, is a safety issue. Â I think everyone should know how to swim. Â Just like everyone should know how to read or do every day math. Â I don't think you "have" to learn to drive. Â I know several adults that do not have a license and do not drive. Â But they live in an area with good public transportation (Boston and NY) so they don't feel they need to. Â I didn't say it was a "safety issue". I said it is an "essential life skill". And I stand by that. There is no public transportation here.
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Dani-Mani
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 28, 2014 17:36:35 GMT
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Post by Dani-Mani on Sept 7, 2014 18:34:40 GMT
Driving is so not an essential skill to me. For example--I have friends from NYC who didn't need a license. They take public transportation, and even if they had a license, it was never going to be put to use because most people in NYC don't drive. A waste of money and time. Instead, they learned to use public transportation, navigate different schedules and necessary transfers. Anyone who thinks driving is an essential skill must have only lived in cities in which driving is the only option. There are a lot of places in the USA and even more abroad where driving is one of the least preferred options.
I got my license at 19; my sister at 21. Neither of us suffered and both of us are great drivers. 15 is just too soon to me, and I'm glad to see more and more states adopting graduating licensing. A 15 year old brain makes poor decisions over all--they should not be trusted alone in a car that can kill, injure, or maim in a split second. Decision making is a huge part of driving, and teenagers are still developing that part of the brain.
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PLurker
Prolific Pea
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Location: Behind the Cheddar Curtain
Jun 28, 2014 3:48:49 GMT
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Post by PLurker on Sept 7, 2014 18:38:27 GMT
Lots of kids seem to be more that way these days. And their parents are not in a hurry for them to get it either. I kind of see that side. "In my day", we couldn't wait to gt DL. My DD was the same way. Had it planned to get all required drivers ed and behind the wheel in and had the first appt at the DMV the am of her 16th birthday. BUT if we didn't live in rural area where her friends can be pretty far away, I don't think she would have been in such a hurry. Did I mention after the DMV, she drove me home, and then went off to her first job! Too much growing up in one day for this mom!
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SweetieBsMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,634
Jun 25, 2014 19:55:12 GMT
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Post by SweetieBsMom on Sept 7, 2014 18:42:19 GMT
I do not agree with this. Swimming, in my eyes, is a safety issue. I think everyone should know how to swim. Just like everyone should know how to read or do every day math. I don't think you "have" to learn to drive. I know several adults that do not have a license and do not drive. But they live in an area with good public transportation (Boston and NY) so they don't feel they need to. I didn't say it was a "safety issue". I said it is an "essential life skill". And I stand by that. There is no public transportation here. Agree to disagree
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Post by krazykatlady on Sept 7, 2014 18:46:15 GMT
My youngest son got his learners permit when he turned 15 but didn't get his driver's license until he was 18. He was a passenger when his brother had an accident and it really spooked him. We live in metro Atlanta where traffic is awful and to be honest if he wasn't comfortable driving I was ok with him not. He only developed an interest in driving after his brother left for college.
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MsKnit
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 26, 2014 19:06:42 GMT
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Post by MsKnit on Sept 7, 2014 18:46:53 GMT
Lots of kids seem to be more that way these days. And their parents are not in a hurry for them to get it either. I kind of see that side. "In my day", we couldn't wait to gt DL. My DD was the same way. Had it planned to get all required drivers ed and behind the wheel in and had the first appt at the DMV the am of her 16th birthday. BUT if we didn't live in rural area where her friends can be pretty far away, I don't think she would have been in such a hurry. Did I mention after the DMV, she drove me home, and then went off to her first job! Too much growing up in one day for this mom! Our area is rural. Yet, we still have a huge portion of our teenage, driving eligible, population that doesn't have any interest in driving.
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Post by myshelly on Sept 7, 2014 18:46:57 GMT
I didn't say it was a "safety issue". I said it is an "essential life skill". And I stand by that. There is no public transportation here. Agree to disagree So if you lived in a place with *no* public transportation whatsoever what would you do? I just can't see how driving is not an essential life skill in that circumstance.
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iowgirl
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Posts: 4,162
Jun 25, 2014 22:52:46 GMT
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Post by iowgirl on Sept 7, 2014 18:48:21 GMT
Everyone of my kids was up and ready to go on their 14th birthday to get that learners permit. They drove home from the DMV and pretty much drove me everywhere after that. I had them behind that wheel as much as possible, gradually building up to night driving and rain and snow driving. THey did have driving experience even before that, and I think that is what made them ready, but at 14 is was on the road! LOL
It is the BEST thing you can do. Experience - experience - experience. NOTHING can make a better driver.
They took Drivers Ed as soon as they could and drove to school at 14.5 years of age. I felt like I was turning an experienced driver out on the road too. It is still scary as hell though. Now you worry about every other person out there who follows to close, turns in front of them, drinks, texts, etc.
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Post by gale w on Sept 7, 2014 18:52:35 GMT
My girls had no interest (age 16 and 18 when they started). I signed them up anyway and once they started to actually drive, they are a little more interested. They don't ask to drive or anything though. Maybe when they get more hours in and more confidence they will.
My 15 yo son, on the other hand, is beyond ready to learn. But I am not going to have 3 kids having to complete their 50 hours at the same time so he will have to wait a bit longer.
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Dani-Mani
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,706
Jun 28, 2014 17:36:35 GMT
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Post by Dani-Mani on Sept 7, 2014 18:53:12 GMT
So if you lived in a place with *no* public transportation whatsoever what would you do? I just can't see how driving is not an essential life skill in that circumstance. I grew up in a place with no public transportation. I took a school bus to school (it's okay to ride the bus as a senior). I worked close to home. If I needed to run errands, I went with a parent--it's not like I had beaucoup money to spend anyway. My sister did the same. Our lives weren't in any way diminished and weren't any harder than those who could drive. Motor vehicle accidents are the leading cause of death in teenagers. Why push a skill they're clearly not all ready for?
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Post by gale w on Sept 7, 2014 18:56:37 GMT
Out here there is no public transportation AND we are a good 30 min drive from town. Driving is most definitely an essential skill here unless I want to be a taxi forever, which I do not.
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Post by myshelly on Sept 7, 2014 19:00:31 GMT
So if you lived in a place with *no* public transportation whatsoever what would you do? I just can't see how driving is not an essential life skill in that circumstance. I grew up in a place with no public transportation. I took a school bus to school (it's okay to ride the bus as a senior). I worked close to home. If I needed to run errands, I went with a parent--it's not like I had beaucoup money to spend anyway. My sister did the same. Our lives weren't in any way diminished and weren't any harder than those who could drive. Motor vehicle accidents are the leading cause of death in teenagers. Why push a skill they're clearly not all ready for? We don't have school buses here either.
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Dani-Mani
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,706
Jun 28, 2014 17:36:35 GMT
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Post by Dani-Mani on Sept 7, 2014 19:03:12 GMT
Which is fine, gale. But the point is, it's not an essential skill for everyone that you "must learn" as myshelly is trying to say. The same as you live so far out, some kids live within walking distance of everything. Others can't afford cars and have very good public transportation.
It really depends on where you live, and isn't a "one size fits all" skill like most agree that swimming is.
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Dani-Mani
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,706
Jun 28, 2014 17:36:35 GMT
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Post by Dani-Mani on Sept 7, 2014 19:05:12 GMT
I grew up in a place with no public transportation. I took a school bus to school (it's okay to ride the bus as a senior). I worked close to home. If I needed to run errands, I went with a parent--it's not like I had beaucoup money to spend anyway. My sister did the same. Our lives weren't in any way diminished and weren't any harder than those who could drive. Motor vehicle accidents are the leading cause of death in teenagers. Why push a skill they're clearly not all ready for? We don't have school buses here either. I didn't say you did. I explained what we did without a driver's license as a teen and without public transportation, which was your question. How do people survive without driving and public transportation? There's my answer--never said it would work for you, but worked just fine for us.
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Post by myshelly on Sept 7, 2014 19:07:45 GMT
We don't have school buses here either. I didn't say you did. I explained what we did without a driver's license as a teen and without public transportation, which was your question. How do people survive without driving and public transportation? There's my answer--never said it would work for you, but worked just fine for us. To me it was a non answer though. I said how would you get by without public transportation and you answered with "I used public transportation (a school bus) to get to school". That's not really an answer to me.
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Dani-Mani
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 28, 2014 17:36:35 GMT
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Post by Dani-Mani on Sept 7, 2014 19:10:44 GMT
I didn't say you did. I explained what we did without a driver's license as a teen and without public transportation, which was your question. How do people survive without driving and public transportation? There's my answer--never said it would work for you, but worked just fine for us. To me it was a non answer though. I said how would you get by without public transportation and you answered with "I used public transportation (a school bus) to get to school". That's not really an answer to me. The school buses may be "public" but they're private because only students of a registered school in a registered district can ride them. A far cry from public transportation. I guess I didn't realize you didn't understand the difference between a school bus and a bus that any citizen in any country can just hop on and hop off of as long as they can pay--because the difference is massive as it would be against the law (and grounds for arrest and has been done before) for someone who is not registered in our district to just hop on the school bus. I'll just agree to disagree. There's no way in hell driving is an essential skill all child should learn. Period. You think it is, and you're entitled to that opinion.
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eastcoastpea
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Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
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Post by eastcoastpea on Sept 7, 2014 19:15:16 GMT
I have a nephew who just started his freshman year in college, and he has zero interest in driving, and never even got his permit.
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Post by *leslie* on Sept 7, 2014 19:17:41 GMT
Yep, I have a 16 and 19 year old and neither is driving. I talk to other parents and it's the same thing. Their kids don't drive either. It's so different from when we were that age. We couldn't wait to get our licenses.
The 19 year old works about 3 miles away and we do take her and pick her up, (I know, I know). She has some real anxiety about driving but we've given her until the end of the year to get her license. The 16 year old is just lazy.
I have to admit, I'm really tired of being a chauffeur and my life being controlled by everyone else's schedule. What's sad is I watch my 19 year old and she doesn't go any where except to work. She won't impose on her friends to take her anywhere, she just waits for them to call her. She's gotten around having to drive to college by taking online classes. At 19, I was out of the house the majority of the time, working, going to school, spending time with friends, going to the gym, etc. I feel like she's missing out.
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Post by BSnyder on Sept 7, 2014 19:21:09 GMT
My dd wasn't in a hurry either. That in combination to all of the steps MD now requires vs what was required when I got my driver's license in PA year ago made the process drag on forever. There also wasn't motivation because we practically live next door to her HS. So although she was very heavily involved, transportation was never really an issue. In MD you can't start the process until your 16th b-day, she got her permit 9 mos after her b-day, the summer before her senior year.
Contributing factors to procrastination for many of her friends: *The 3+ hour wait to take the driver's written test and get learner's permit for kids involved in sports, heavy academics, and activities. *Extensive documented drive time in all weather and road conditions. Requires driving over multiple seasons and also parents's/kid's free times don't often intersect. *Driver's ed is required and not offered in school. Sceduling time with a driver's training school because everyone must take it and then the ability to schedule the extensive classes and drive times with the instructor is prohibitive to getting it done quickly. *Driver's ed costs around $500. *Some kids have to wait over 6 months to be able to schedule an appointment to take the driving part of the test.
All of this added up to over a year from beginning to end. DD was lucky to get her driving test done quickly, but we had to drive to a MVA over 4 hours away to do it. We had no choice because we felt she needed it before she entered basic training a month after she graduated. Otherwise, going off to regular college may not have been enough incentive for her to get in since freshman and sometimes sophomores weren't allowed cars on campus anyway.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 18, 2024 6:01:21 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 7, 2014 19:29:26 GMT
You can't get a learner permit until 16 here, then you have to wait 6 months to take your license test. Both my kids did both as close to their birthdays as possible. We don't have any public transportation here -- they need rides to all their activities. Licenses for them were as much for my convenience as theirs -- I work at home and can't drop everything to drive them all over creation. Plus, I really wanted to be the one supervising their driving lessons and make sure they were sufficiently experienced before they went off to college.
It worked for us, because both my kids were motivated, are both good drivers, and we have the money to cover the insurance. They didn't get their own cars, and won't be getting them until they move out. I don't have room for an extra car. We manage just fine with the two cars we have.
Some of their friends have no interest in driving. But with the graduated licenses, most of the kids can't drive friends around anyhow.
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Post by moveablefeast on Sept 7, 2014 19:44:42 GMT
I grew up very rurally. We had a school bus but it made one run, no late bus or activity bus, and no public transportation. The vast majority of us got our driver's licenses and cars when we were 16 and began driving ourselves promptly thereafter. It was absolutely an essential life skill there, and the ones who didn't do it at all were at a serious disadvantage on many levels. I think even if you were not really emotionally/developmentally ready - and there were some of us who were not - you kind of had to figure it out whether you really wanted to or not. That was not necessarily advantageous, though, living very rurally with unlit, winding gravel roads (most of those roads are still gravel 20 years later), deer to contend with, a variety of hazards. Circumstances dictated that young people really needed to learn to drive but it was not necessarily developmentally appropriate. There were young people for whom the demand of driving was too great and carried significant consequences, unfortunately - some kids really aren't prepared for the responsibility yet.
Teens' brains are still developing - they are not little adults - they lack some of the cognitive processes they will have mastered in another five or six years, and they lack the experience to effectively judge stopping distance, proper speed, weather conditions on the road, etc. Some conditions on the road still make me anxious - like a couple weeks ago when I was driving in an unfamiliar town in severe pouring rain - and my teenage years were half my life ago, how much harder would that have been if I was a novice driver?
Anyway.
Where I live now, in a large suburb, the majority of students in our high school zone can easily get from here to there without a vehicle. There is a school bus, there is a late bus/activity bus, and there is public transit. I don't know how many students here get their licenses at 16 because my child is still elementary age, but I see a lot of high-school kids getting off the late bus at our stop so I assume they don't have vehicles of their own. Here, you can very easily do all of life's critical functions on foot, bike, or public bus. You may not LIKE it but you can DO it. I do not consider driving a critical life skill for 16-year-olds in my area. Will it make life a lot easier if they can drive themselves to college? Sure. Does it expand their field of possibilities to do it? Of course. Is it crucial? No, not at all.
Assuming all things are equal, my daughter will be allowed to learn to drive when she is legally and personally ready to do so. That might be the first day she is eligible, that might be a year or two or more later. She will have to weigh the consequences of not driving if she so decides, and she will have to take full responsibility for her conduct behind the wheel if she decides to become a driver. I will help her with either decision to the fullest extent that I'm able.
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Dani-Mani
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,706
Jun 28, 2014 17:36:35 GMT
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Post by Dani-Mani on Sept 7, 2014 19:49:21 GMT
Here, you can very easily do all of life's critical functions on foot, bike, or public bus. You may not LIKE it but you can DO it. I do not consider driving a critical life skill for 16-year-olds in my area. Will it make life a lot easier if they can drive themselves to college? Sure. Does it expand their field of possibilities to do it? Of course. Is it crucial? No, not at all. Assuming all things are equal, my daughter will be allowed to learn to drive when she is legally and personally ready to do so. That might be the first day she is eligible, that might be a year or two or more later. She will have to weigh the consequences of not driving if she so decides, and she will have to take full responsibility for her conduct behind the wheel if she decides to become a driver. I will help her with either decision to the fullest extent that I'm able. Love this attitude. And bike is a GREAT way to get around. I just left a city where most people biked or took the limited public tranportation to work, despite having the means to drive what typically were their fancy cars. It amazed me at how young they started their kids on bikes and teaching them bike safety. Many kids biked to school, despite being bus eligible. Better for the environment, better for the body
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Post by KelleeM on Sept 7, 2014 19:58:35 GMT
I took driver ed classes in high school but they had no car available for the driving portion of it. I went away to college and couldn't have afforded a car. I graduated college and then learned to drive. I got my license at 22 1/2. My oldest got hers at almost 22 and ds is almost 20 and still doesn't have his. He'll get it when he's ready.
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Post by gmcwife1 on Sept 7, 2014 20:02:16 GMT
My ds didn't get his license until he was 25. He had no interest in the cost and maintenance of a car. We have a good bus system and it saved him money.
My youngest dd is the opposite, she is 15 and already registered for her class.
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
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Post by luvnlifelady on Sept 7, 2014 20:05:57 GMT
My DD got her license within 2 weeks of turning 16. We share a car but will probably give her my car in December for her use. She can drive DS to high school this year only as she's a senior and he's a freshman. He is very ready to drive but doesn't even turn 14-1/2 until November so he has a year from then just to get his permit. Dh started giving him lessons but I put a stop to that. I can't imagine what would happen if DS got in an accident as an unlicensed, uninsured drive.
In South Dakota, a child can get a school/work license at 14! I can't imagine that being a good idea with the horrible winters they have there.
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Post by Dori~Mama~Bear on Sept 7, 2014 20:06:45 GMT
My daughter got her permit and then went to drivers Ed the summer between her JR and SR year of high school. After she got her permit she wouldn't drive until she started Drivers Ed. It was funny because she was the only one in the class that hadn't driven any. We had bought a car. The deal was she had to pay half of the price of the car. she worked the entire summer to get it paid off. Then a couple weeks before school started she got her license. She is now 21. She sold her car this past summer for $300 less then she paid for it. Now she is driving my car.
I wouldn't worry about your son not driving. He will get his permit when he is ready to. I know that When my daughter decided to get hers it was her own decision. We didn't tell her that she had to get it. She was the one that wanted to go to Drivers Ed. It was a good thing for her. She had to do driving hours with me and or my husband but she didn't like driving with him. She was to nervous when he was with her but she really liked it when I took her. she said she was more relaxed and could concentrate on driving when I was with her. she also had to do so many hours of driving with the instructor. so that helped to.
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