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Post by femalebusiness on Mar 27, 2018 19:11:54 GMT
My daughter drew a picture of a penis and balls in, I think, third grade. Actually it was a pretty good drawing. We got called in and the teacher showed it to us...embarrassing! We had a talk with her and we mainly told her never, ever put anything on paper that she didn't want the world to see. I didn't care that she drew it but was pissed she was dumb enough to do it at school and let the teacher get a hold of it. It was the one and only time she ever did anything like that and she grew up to be a highly successful woman with no sexual perversions.  I will say though, that if it happens more than once after you have a talk with the kid that may be a problem. |
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PrettyInPeank
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Post by PrettyInPeank on Mar 27, 2018 19:28:42 GMT
I think punishment is ridiculous. He's 6. It wasn't sexualized, but curiousity.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 27, 2018 19:29:36 GMT
I agree with others, it's more than likely normal curiosity. Does he have any sisters? If not, and he's been told that girls are different to boys I would guess that his curiosity got the better of him. One doesn't usually get these curiosities if they have siblings of the opposite sex as they're growing up with the different bodies around them.
The school went over the top IMO with punishing him, a quiet talk explaining that it was not appropriate and to explain privacy to him and tell him if he had any questions to make sure he asked Mum or Dad when he got home. That would have been a better solution.
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katybee
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Post by katybee on Mar 27, 2018 20:00:22 GMT
If I had a nickel for every time someone in my class asked/talked about private parts...well...I wouldn’t be a teacher anymore, that’s for sure. Sounds like your daughter handled it appropriately. I disagree with taking away recess and PE (I never do as it’s the only time they get to get their energy out ).
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Post by denda on Mar 27, 2018 20:02:07 GMT
I agree with others, it's more than likely normal curiosity. Does he have any sisters? If not, and he's been told that girls are different to boys I would guess that his curiosity got the better of him. One doesn't usually get these curiosities if they have siblings of the opposite sex as they're growing up with the different bodies around them. The school went over the top IMO with punishing him, a quiet talk explaining that it was not appropriate and to explain privacy to him and tell him if he had any questions to make sure he asked Mum or Dad when he got home. That would have been a better solution. No sisters. Just a little brother and a male dog-LOL |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 27, 2018 20:22:11 GMT
I agree with others, it's more than likely normal curiosity. Does he have any sisters? If not, and he's been told that girls are different to boys I would guess that his curiosity got the better of him. One doesn't usually get these curiosities if they have siblings of the opposite sex as they're growing up with the different bodies around them. The school went over the top IMO with punishing him, a quiet talk explaining that it was not appropriate and to explain privacy to him and tell him if he had any questions to make sure he asked Mum or Dad when he got home. That would have been a better solution. No sisters. Just a little brother and a male dog-LOL I would definately say it was more likely curiosity then. Logically any child of that age who is told or knows that a girl doesn't have a penis is going to think what does one look like without one ? or even as far as how on earth do girls pee  |
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Post by 950nancy on Mar 27, 2018 20:32:51 GMT
I think it is perfectly normal in some cases. Some kids are just curious and some kids have seen things that they shouldn't have and act beyond their years. I am sure it is the first. Yes, it would be embarrassing, but it is also a great opportunity to talk to you kid (general you) about what is appropriate at school.
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Post by 950nancy on Mar 27, 2018 20:33:53 GMT
One of our sixth graders found his mom's vibrator and brought it to school and was using it on his hands in class. (Just wanted to put the word embarrassing in perspective!)
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Post by melanell on Mar 27, 2018 20:52:05 GMT
He will turn 7 on March 31. You never know when something might pop into their heads. And for some kids, these things come later on. For every range of ages given for any given type of thing, some kids have to be on the early & late ends.  I was in first grade before I even knew that boys DID look different from girls, so I never would have asked a boy to see his parts until that age if I was ever going to ask. |
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Post by melanell on Mar 27, 2018 21:00:11 GMT
No sisters. Just a little brother and a male dog-LOL I would definately say it was more likely curiosity then. Logically any child of that age who is told or knows that a girl doesn't have a penis is going to think what does one look like without one ? or even as far as how on earth do girls pee The how do they pee thing is HUGE. I babysat and nannied dozens of kids, then had my own, and that is by far the most common question I get from boys when they realize that girls don't have a penis. Some of them were terribly concerned about it, too! Some boys will go as far as to ask to several people in case Mom & Dad are wrong. I've had parents apologize once they realized that their kid was asking me if I could pee okay. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 27, 2018 21:11:46 GMT
I would definately say it was more likely curiosity then. Logically any child of that age who is told or knows that a girl doesn't have a penis is going to think what does one look like without one ? or even as far as how on earth do girls pee The how do they pee thing is HUGE. I babysat and nannied dozens of kids, then had my own, and that is by far the most common question I get from boys when they realize that girls don't have a penis. Some of them were terribly concerned about it, too! Some boys will go as far as to ask to several people in case Mom & Dad are wrong. I've had parents apologize once they realized that their kid was asking me if I could pee okay. The first time my Nephew saw his baby sister without a nappy( diaper) he told my sister to take her back to the hospital as she hadn't been put together properly...his actual words were " they've missed out some bits of her"  He'd already counted her fingers and toes when he saw her in the hospital soon after she was born. He sure wanted to know that she was all there |
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Post by denda on Mar 27, 2018 21:12:37 GMT
One of our sixth graders found his mom's vibrator and brought it to school and was using it on his hands in class. (Just wanted to put the word embarrassing in perspective!) Now this made me laugh. |
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Post by denda on Mar 27, 2018 21:14:42 GMT
The how do they pee thing is HUGE. I babysat and nannied dozens of kids, then had my own, and that is by far the most common question I get from boys when they realize that girls don't have a penis. Some of them were terribly concerned about it, too! Some boys will go as far as to ask to several people in case Mom & Dad are wrong. I've had parents apologize once they realized that their kid was asking me if I could pee okay. The first time my Nephew saw his baby sister without a nappy( diaper) he told my sister to take her back to the hospital as she hadn't been put together properly...his actual words were " they've missed out some bits of her" He'd already counted her fingers and toes when he saw her in the hospital soon after she was born. He sure wanted to know that she was all there LOL |
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Post by melanell on Mar 27, 2018 21:21:11 GMT
The how do they pee thing is HUGE. I babysat and nannied dozens of kids, then had my own, and that is by far the most common question I get from boys when they realize that girls don't have a penis. Some of them were terribly concerned about it, too! Some boys will go as far as to ask to several people in case Mom & Dad are wrong. I've had parents apologize once they realized that their kid was asking me if I could pee okay. The first time my Nephew saw his baby sister without a nappy( diaper) he told my sister to take her back to the hospital as she hadn't been put together properly...his actual words were " they've missed out some bits of her"  He'd already counted her fingers and toes when he saw her in the hospital soon after she was born. He sure wanted to know that she was all there LOL! The first time I saw a baby boy I apparently shrieked out "What's THAT!?!?!?". I didn't have a brother until first grade, and I played with little girls in my neighborhood, all of whom happened to either be only children or girls who didn't yet have brothers. And my closest cousins in age were all girls, too. |
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kate
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Post by kate on Mar 27, 2018 21:24:19 GMT
Does he have any sisters? If not, and he's been told that girls are different to boys I would guess that his curiosity got the better of him. This was my first thought. My second was to wonder if he accepted the girl's "no." Honestly, if he asked, she said no, and he left her alone & went on his merry way, he's more evolved than many grown men.  In all seriousness, though, it seems within the normal spectrum of behavior for a 6yo. I think a gentle conversation is in order, and that should suffice. |
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katybee
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Post by katybee on Mar 27, 2018 21:27:42 GMT
One of our sixth graders found his mom's vibrator and brought it to school and was using it on his hands in class. (Just wanted to put the word embarrassing in perspective!) We had a kid this year bring in a tampon and pass it around...thankfully unused! |
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Post by myboysnme on Mar 27, 2018 22:14:36 GMT
I feel bad for a little kid who gets so much overreaction about a question about private parts. Another generation of making the human body into something to feel shame about. I would handle it by telling the school to call me in the future, don't take away a damn thing from his school day, then I would be answering all of his questions, reading age appropriate books, whatever was needed so he would understand not to ask about that at school because many people don't like that and it is unwelcome, or however it needs to be said.
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PrettyInPeank
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Post by PrettyInPeank on Mar 27, 2018 23:28:22 GMT
One of our sixth graders found his mom's vibrator and brought it to school and was using it on his hands in class. (Just wanted to put the word embarrassing in perspective!) OMG! 6th grade, too! Did you have to call the parents? |
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Post by femalebusiness on Mar 27, 2018 23:37:16 GMT
One of our sixth graders found his mom's vibrator and brought it to school and was using it on his hands in class. (Just wanted to put the word embarrassing in perspective!) That is hilarious! You have a great forever story for cocktail parties. |
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Post by wholarmor on Mar 28, 2018 0:01:41 GMT
It was in first grade when some male friends wanted to "show me theirs and have me show them mine."
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Post by Linda on Mar 28, 2018 0:07:10 GMT
My daughter drew a picture of a penis and balls in, I think, third grade. Actually it was a pretty good drawing. We got called in and the teacher showed it to us...embarrassing! We had a talk with her and we mainly told her never, ever put anything on paper that she didn't want the world to see. I didn't care that she drew it but was pissed she was dumb enough to do it at school and let the teacher get a hold of it. It was the one and only time she ever did anything like that and she grew up to be a highly successful woman with no sexual perversions. I will say though, that if it happens more than once after you have a talk with the kid that may be a problem. I think mine was also 3rd grade when she drew anatomically correct clone troopers - thankfully she drew them at home and we were able to talk to her about that not being appropriate for school. |
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Post by lovemybabes on Mar 28, 2018 0:40:00 GMT
It’s probablly normal curiousity, I’d make sure of that, then follow up with an age appropriate book so his curiosity is satisfied about the biology of male and female. And I would be addressing the taking away of pe/recess as punishment with the school, as that hardly seems appropriate. I imagine the incident is considered sexual harassment these days though. This! He’s little, and curious. I don’t think punishing was necessary. |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 28, 2018 0:49:01 GMT
It's pretty normal for kids to do this. I remember when a boy showed me his privates and then asked to see mine. I was so shocked after seeing his that I ran away before showing him mine.
I would also not be surprised if someone showed him their privates. But I wouldn't dig around too deeply in this, lest he feel shamed. Just let him know privates are called that for a reason and he is not to show, or see, anything else in the future.
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Post by 950nancy on Mar 28, 2018 1:10:28 GMT
One of our sixth graders found his mom's vibrator and brought it to school and was using it on his hands in class. (Just wanted to put the word embarrassing in perspective!) OMG! 6th grade, too! Did you have to call the parents? Not my student. His teacher was a very sweet, proper preacher's wife who wanted to die. She gave it back the next day at parent/teacher conferences in a brown paper bag and practically begged the mom not to open it until she got home. For the rest of, it was hysterical. |
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Post by LisaDV on Mar 28, 2018 1:25:55 GMT
I think it’s natural curiosity whether a boy or a girl. I wouldn’t worry and think speaking with him should suffice.
I can see taking away recess fun time but like others not PE which is a part of curriculum.
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Post by lucyg on Mar 28, 2018 2:11:26 GMT
My grandson just turned 9. We had looked through age-appropriate books previously, but I guess he wasn’t paying much attention because when I mentioned (a couple of years ago) that girls don’t have penises ... he flat out refused to believe me. “NO! No way! I don’t believe that.” Like I would lie to him. Dork.
Normal behavior and I would be ticked off about the school making such a big fuss about it. Unless there’s a lot more to the story.
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Post by ExpatBackHome on Mar 28, 2018 3:03:13 GMT
Does she have a book to read together like Amazing You!: Getting Smart About Your Private Parts? Also talking to him about why it’s private and inappropriate to ask to see them. I think the school overreacted and they should have just talked to him about why it’s wrong and let the parents do a follow up (I usually try to support the school). Kids are curious, it’s an ongoing conversation.
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cycworker
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Post by cycworker on Mar 28, 2018 3:05:43 GMT
I think a good talking to is probably all that's needed at this point, but I would be asking him if anyone else showed him their privates. And making sure he understands why they're called "privates", and why we don't ask other people to show them to us. Maybe he's just curious, but I'd want to be sure the question didn't arise from something someone said or showed to him.  I'm guessing it's just simple curiosity, truthfully I think the school overreacted by punishing him. A visit to the principal's office for a nice chat would have been more appropriate IMO. Aaa free 100%. The school did more harm than good, IMO. |
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Post by Dixie Lou on Mar 28, 2018 3:50:57 GMT
First grade teacher here.
It could be considered sexual harassment but at my school teachers are not allowed to decide that and we leave it up to the administers after they have investigated.
I'm sure in your grandson's case his question was out of innocent curiosity. However, you may be surprised to hear that many 6-7 year olds know they are being inappropriate when they say such things. They may just be trying to be funny or get a reaction from someone or whatever but they do know it's wrong. I've taught for 26-ish years can't think of a child who was truly a pervert...but first graders know that's inappropriate. Some have to learn the hard way (with a consequence) not to do it again.
In your grandson's case I would have spoken to him myself and if it happened again I would ask the counselor to talk with him. If she thought it needed to be taken further or if he did it a third time, only then would there be an office referral. Our administrators are just too busy to deal with first offenses like this with first graders and kindergartners. Office referrals are for much worse things like fighting and bullying.
I know a lot of people disagree with taking away recess or PE. I don't like to do it but sometimes you have to find something that gets a child's attention. We don't have after school detention so there are times a child gets PE detention (from administrator.) In my state elementary students must have three days of PE. First graders in my district get PE every day so occasionally someone may have to spend that time in the office. We get outdoor recess on good weather days. I do take away recess sometimes but only for serious and repeat offenses. We go straight from recess to PE so they do get at least 45 minutes of activity (in the middle of) every day.
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Post by melanell on Mar 28, 2018 11:16:34 GMT
I'm sure in your grandson's case his question was out of innocent curiosity. However, you may be surprised to hear that many 6-7 year olds know they are being inappropriate when they say such things. They may just be trying to be funny or get a reaction from someone or whatever but they do know it's wrong. I agree that sometimes they do know it's inappropriate, but they often don't view it as inappropriate in the way that adults do. To them, if it's not curiosity (which I really think it is here, based on the lack of sisters) then it's typically just an extension of potty humor (or gross-out humor). It's like talking about butts & farts or snots & puke. Adults tend to hear any mention of private parts and freak out but sometimes kids simply think that mentioning things like that around one another is simply hilarious. In their mind it's not as "bad" as saying a "bad" word, because they are (usually) allowed to discuss these things at home. Yet they know it's a fine line about discussing it anywhere else. And so it's funny to say it to friends. The night before our weekly shopping trip I sit down with everyone at the dinner table and ask for suggestions. So one week I was trying to get input and my younger son kept snickering and muttering stuff under his breath that was inappropriate for the dinner table...all sorts of jokes about "balls". And even though his brother is certainly old enough to know better, even he was having a hard time not laughing at his little brother for saying that stuff. I was getting exasperated with DS#2 and asked him what in the world had gotten to him. He was sitting directly across from me, and he pointed at my list. I turned it over, and it was a quarter of a study sheet about the male reproductive system. I always recycle school papers by cutting them into quarters and using them for shopping lists or scrap paper during math homework or whatnot. And so that evening the backside of my list (facing DS#2) was a nice clear labelled section of paper with a scrotum on it. The kid thought that was the funniest thing that had ever happened in his life.  |
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I will say though, that if it happens more than once after you have a talk with the kid that may be a problem.
He'd already counted her fingers and toes when he saw her in the hospital soon after she was born. He sure wanted to know that she was all there 
