Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 25, 2018 21:03:06 GMT
I’ll preface this by saying we make a decent wage, but the last few years I feel like we can’t catch a breath.
We built a home out in the country, it was a dream and we managed to do it at budget by doing the general contracting ourselves. But lately it’s one thing after another.
All three kids need braces. Our daughter needs a $3,000 dental procedure on top of the $7000 we spent on her braces. Plus we were told she needs her wisdoms removed in the next year. So that’s $25,000+ in dental in 2-3 years.
Our vehicles are both giving us issues. We looked at buying a new truck, we have to have a bigger truck and so far it’s not making sense to spend that much on a vehicle right now. We figured we’d try to wait a few more years. My husband just put in a new transmission on our truck. And by just, I mean I picked up the truck a few hours ago. I was on our way with our daughter and her teammates to their basketball game. The truck breaks down, transmission oil everywhere. I probably broke the transmission by not shutting it off as soon as I felt something wrong. We put in a used transmission that was supposed to be good but now they’ll use the excuse that there’s no warranty on a used transmission. So there’s more $$ down the drain.
We have so much work we still need to do to the house and yard but lately all our money is going to other expenses.
And the kicker today, the coach and mom of one of the players had to pick up the girls for their game while I’m stranded on the side of the road. They’re millionaires beyond what I can comprehend. Such a humiliating experience today. They dropped me off at McDonald’s at my request, and I’m sitting here waiting for my husband trying not to burst into tears as life keeps piling on.
Thanks for letting me whine, it’s a rough day.
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maryannscraps
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,948
Aug 28, 2017 12:51:28 GMT
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Post by maryannscraps on May 25, 2018 21:10:11 GMT
I'm so sorry to hear that. Financial worries put such a burden of stress on you.
I'm not sure if you were humiliated by having to be picked up, your finances, or just your sucky day in general. But if it was because they picked you up, I'd like to reassure you that the coach and mom had no thought of your finances. They were just thinking "I'm so sorry your truck broke down, and what can we do to help?"
Gentle hugs on an awful day.
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Post by hop2 on May 25, 2018 21:18:11 GMT
I’ll whine too.
I know I’ve still got time but I’ve found out recently that apparently divorced women are considered by some to be undesirable tenants.
The first person who said this to me I was so shocked I just hung up. But the next person I asked why and was told because they ( the divorced women ) bring too many stray men around and have them stay not in the lease.
🙁 um, I’m not the one who cheated. I’ve only dated4 guys in my entire life. WTF
So yeah apartment hunting not going too well.
And before y’all tell me to look at complexes only - 3br apartments in complexes are rare. Rarer still to allow dogs. Rarer still in my price range.
A few prayers for me to find a place in the next 4 months will be appreciated.
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Post by hop2 on May 25, 2018 21:21:35 GMT
OP Hugs I hope things get better for you soon. You’ve got quite a bit piledon there.
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Post by bc2ca on May 25, 2018 21:22:52 GMT
Sometimes a good cry is what I need before making a plan and figuring a way out of the situation. {{{hugs}}}
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scrappert
Prolific Pea
RefuPea #2956
Posts: 7,994
Location: Milwaukee, WI area
Jul 11, 2014 21:20:09 GMT
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Post by scrappert on May 25, 2018 21:25:25 GMT
Pity party away, you need to do that sometimes. I understand all too clearly about expenses flying out the door. I always trust it will work out. hop2 - prayers to you that you will find the perfect place. It sucks that THAT is the stigma! Holy Hell, that seems more of a divorced man way to go about things. Us divorced women, men are the last thing on our minds!! |
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scrapngranny
Pearl Clutcher
Only slightly senile
Posts: 4,948 
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Post by scrapngranny on May 25, 2018 21:26:51 GMT
Wow, you have a lot on your plate right now. It’s no wonder you feel overwhelmed. I don’t have any advice, but can offer hugs.
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 19:59:00 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 25, 2018 21:34:58 GMT
So sorry tinyt and hop2. Sometimes it's the little things that break the camels back, sometimes it's just "one" more thing.k Sounds like you both need a break. ((HUGS))
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Post by needmysanity on May 25, 2018 21:39:55 GMT
You guys are both having rough weeks - I'm sorry. hop2 - so what if you said single and not divorced? I wonder if they would treat you differently. Either way it's really none of their business and it sucks they are holding it against you. @tinyt - our finances are in limbo right now too and it's so stressful. I hope things slow down on the expenses side for you guys soon. |
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used2scrap
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,147
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Post by used2scrap on May 25, 2018 21:43:34 GMT
I’m sorry. It’s so hard when things are cascading one after the other. Hang in there, seems like it’s all anyone can do most days!
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Post by hop2 on May 25, 2018 21:48:24 GMT
You guys are both having rough weeks - I'm sorry. hop2 - so what if you said single and not divorced? I wonder if they would treat you differently. Either way it's really none of their business and it sucks they are holding it against you. @tinyt - our finances are in limbo right now too and it's so stressful. I hope things slow down on the expenses side for you guys soon. it somehow shows up in a credit report - I haven’t mentioned it |
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Post by donna on May 25, 2018 21:51:21 GMT
@tinyt that is a lot to happen so close together. I would have to have a good cry over it all before I could move forward. Then you are just going to need to make a list and prioritize everything. The work on the house will probably have to wait for a while. hop2 that is rough about the apartment. I will have to say the wild divorced woman thing was a problem a friend of mine ran into when she rented out an apartment in her basement to someone. The woman got divorced and then went a little man crazy. I hope you can find something soon. |
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scrappinmama
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,672
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on May 25, 2018 21:53:47 GMT
I'm sorry to the peas having a rough day. Financial stress is definitely a heavy burden to carry with you. I hope you can find solutions soon.
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 19:59:00 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 25, 2018 23:52:39 GMT
I know the feeling, girl. It has been an expensive month for us with repairs and medical bills that even though we have an HSA it seems the money flows out faster than I can build it up.
The wisdom teeth can wait. They should probably wait until after braces so there is some breathing room there. You didn't mention dental insurance but dental insurance is normally pretty good about covering that type of oral surgery.
Braces for all three? Definitely shop around for a group deal. You would be amazed at the price differences between orthodontists.
The extra procedure - would it be possible to go to a well established, high reputation dental school to have the work done? Normally I would not suggest this but my dentist owns a dental school. I swear the man is an artist when it comes to working in people's mouths. If you could find an establishment like that it could lessen the financial part of the situation while getting your daughter a damn fine dentist and help other dental students learn at the same time.
As for the millionaire mom coming to help - I can see where that rubs salt in the wound. I wish I could be in a situation where I didn't have to worry about money either. However, I have learned those who seems to have zero problems in the world about money usually have other issues they are dealing with that are a worse picnic than being short on funds for a short time.
Hang in there - this will pass.
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on May 26, 2018 0:41:02 GMT
I'm sorry you had such a rough day. Sometimes, life can feel like a slow grind. I hope things look up for you soon. Finances can be overwhelming.
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 19:59:00 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 26, 2018 0:43:46 GMT
We went through that a few years ago. I missed a payment on the Amex card....oh holy shit hitting the fan.
The only thing that saved us? My husband refinanced our house( I am so pissed about this). He wasn't paying very close attention and almost got us sucked into a variable interest rate mortgage. I took one look at that and REFUSED to sign. The guy doing the mortgage got pissed at me and tried to weasel a signature out of me. And when I would not sign my husband would not sign. The weasel mortgage guy had to the paperwork again with a fixed rate. When the bubble burst that varied rate shot over 10% and we knew people who lost their homes because of that variable interested rate and filed for bankruptcy over their Amex bill.
It has taken a few years to bounce back from that.
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River
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,627
Jun 26, 2014 15:26:04 GMT
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Post by River on May 26, 2018 0:50:29 GMT
Vent away! ((Hugs))
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 26, 2018 2:01:40 GMT
Vent, vent and vent away. We all go through those times when your like, hell what else can go wrong.
Hugs.....been there more times then I want to admit.
Breathe...
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Post by Zee on May 26, 2018 2:42:03 GMT
I understand! We are relocating and it's been one thing after another on top of those expenses. Just in the last couple months I've had $1000 in vet bills and a $400 car repair, plus we are now paying rent in GA and a mortgage in PA and travel costs in between.
Just keep swimming! Eventually things will be brighter.
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Post by mom on May 26, 2018 3:02:15 GMT
I’ll preface this by saying we make a decent wage, but the last few years I feel like we can’t catch a breath. We built a home out in the country, it was a dream and we managed to do it at budget by doing the general contracting ourselves. But lately it’s one thing after another. All three kids need braces. Our daughter needs a $3,000 dental procedure on top of the $7000 we spent on her braces. Plus we were told she needs her wisdoms removed in the next year. So that’s $25,000+ in dental in 2-3 years. Our vehicles are both giving us issues. We looked at buying a new truck, we have to have a bigger truck and so far it’s not making sense to spend that much on a vehicle right now. We figured we’d try to wait a few more years. My husband just put in a new transmission on our truck. And by just, I mean I picked up the truck a few hours ago. I was on our way with our daughter and her teammates to their basketball game. The truck breaks down, transmission oil everywhere. I probably broke the transmission by not shutting it off as soon as I felt something wrong. We put in a used transmission that was supposed to be good but now they’ll use the excuse that there’s no warranty on a used transmission. So there’s more $$ down the drain. We have so much work we still need to do to the house and yard but lately all our money is going to other expenses. And the kicker today, the coach and mom of one of the players had to pick up the girls for their game while I’m stranded on the side of the road. They’re millionaires beyond what I can comprehend. Such a humiliating experience today. They dropped me off at McDonald’s at my request, and I’m sitting here waiting for my husband trying not to burst into tears as life keeps piling on. Thanks for letting me whine, it’s a rough day. I am sending you giant hugs. Cry away! Sometimes we just need to cry before we can make a plan and begin to see the light. Try not to worry about the millionaire mom. For all you know, she could have a crap ton of debt. Or maybe she is a millionaire who longs to have a family who loves her. She could be jealous of you! Make a list and prioritize what has to have first. Some things will have to wait, and thats ok. DH (who works on old cars) says even if its a used transmission, they should still give you some sort of warranty. Defiantly call and ask. SaveSave |
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Post by librarylady on May 26, 2018 3:13:52 GMT
Sometimes we have a time in life when everything goes wrong, wrong, wrong. It bites and all I have to offer is --just get through today and then tomorrow and eventually you will swing back to a time when things will go OK. hop2That crap has been going around for years. Back in 1972, after my divorce--my GF and I tried to rent an apartment and the man gave us the same story. He didn't rent to single women 'cause we caused too much trouble. (sigh) We did find a nice apartment and lived well, with no drama......but those ideas are around. I hope you soon find something. |
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mimima
Drama Llama
Stay Gold, Ponyboy
Posts: 5,213
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Post by mimima on May 26, 2018 3:16:35 GMT
Hugs. It's hard when we hit one of those patches.
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 19:59:00 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 26, 2018 5:00:40 GMT
Thanks everyone, I worked the evening away trying to forget about life. My husband has been feeling the pinch. Life is too much some days. We’ve both said how tired we are of the constant grind. His work is keeping him stupid busy. We had hoped to go away for a week to visit my sister but it’s not looking like he’ll be able to get away. He manages a company that indirectly works for the oil industry so their schedule is our schedule. Some days it feels like all we do is work without any rewards. The owner of the company is a good person but spends a lot of weeks/weekend at their mountain cabin, all calls are forwarded to DH and he has to deal with everything.
The millionaire mom has it all. She’s married to a great guy, they have wonderful children, and debt is not in their vocabulary. I know this because our kids go to the same semi-private school. Their wealth runs the town. But she is the sweetest person, that whole family is incredibly sweet and kind. Which makes it harder because it’d be easier to take solace if their life was otherwise miserable.
It’s rough when you feel like you’re struggling to make ends meet and other people seem to float on air. The other two team mates that were in the truck are also wealthy. The one is also part of a different millionaire family. They want for nothing. Both girls had never been in a vehicle that had broken down. They get new vehicles all the time. I realize they are above average where wealth is concerned. But it was definitely salt in the wound today.
And speaking of busy, I have to get up early to bring my daughter to another game tomorrow. I have a million things to do but I’m the only one that can take her.
Thanks for letting me have my pity party. I’m sure eventually it has to get easier.
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 19:59:00 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 26, 2018 5:09:47 GMT
I know the feeling, girl. It has been an expensive month for us with repairs and medical bills that even though we have an HSA it seems the money flows out faster than I can build it up. The wisdom teeth can wait. They should probably wait until after braces so there is some breathing room there. You didn't mention dental insurance but dental insurance is normally pretty good about covering that type of oral surgery. Braces for all three? Definitely shop around for a group deal. You would be amazed at the price differences between orthodontists. The extra procedure - would it be possible to go to a well established, high reputation dental school to have the work done? Normally I would not suggest this but my dentist owns a dental school. I swear the man is an artist when it comes to working in people's mouths. If you could find an establishment like that it could lessen the financial part of the situation while getting your daughter a damn fine dentist and help other dental students learn at the same time. As for the millionaire mom coming to help - I can see where that rubs salt in the wound. I wish I could be in a situation where I didn't have to worry about money either. However, I have learned those who seems to have zero problems in the world about money usually have other issues they are dealing with that are a worse picnic than being short on funds for a short time. Hang in there - this will pass. [ The wisdom have to come out before they do nerve damage. The orthodontist explained what’s going on and they definitely need to come out. She had her braces removed a few months ago. We told them we would take a year break before we put them on our boys so that we could catch up. But there’s been so many things coming up that there hasn’t been any catching up. We have only two orthodontists that we can use, both are the same, price wise. We have horrible benefits (In Canada). We usually save the little bit we have for emergencies. The braces can be paid on a plan but still a ton of money. The $3000 procedure has to be done by a specialist, I wish we could try your suggestion but no regular dentist wants to touch this. I guess I have to keep telling myself that this too shall pass. If only it passed quicker. These days my DH and I are both reeling wondering if this is all that life is. |
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 19:59:00 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 26, 2018 9:30:59 GMT
I know the feeling, girl. It has been an expensive month for us with repairs and medical bills that even though we have an HSA it seems the money flows out faster than I can build it up. The wisdom teeth can wait. They should probably wait until after braces so there is some breathing room there. You didn't mention dental insurance but dental insurance is normally pretty good about covering that type of oral surgery. Braces for all three? Definitely shop around for a group deal. You would be amazed at the price differences between orthodontists. The extra procedure - would it be possible to go to a well established, high reputation dental school to have the work done? Normally I would not suggest this but my dentist owns a dental school. I swear the man is an artist when it comes to working in people's mouths. If you could find an establishment like that it could lessen the financial part of the situation while getting your daughter a damn fine dentist and help other dental students learn at the same time. As for the millionaire mom coming to help - I can see where that rubs salt in the wound. I wish I could be in a situation where I didn't have to worry about money either. However, I have learned those who seems to have zero problems in the world about money usually have other issues they are dealing with that are a worse picnic than being short on funds for a short time. Hang in there - this will pass. I have a friend who goes to dental schools for her work and is always saying how pleased she is. I wonder if orthodontia is something available this way. You know - if the dental problems aren’t severe, braces can be postponed. Some people don’t get theirs until adulthood. I know we live in a world where it seems like everyone gets braces the moment they are needed, but I know lots of people who didn’t get them until adulthood — and folks who did get them earlier and needed them again as adults. Sometimes we just have to draw a line and say, “This is beyond my capacity right now,” and it’s ok. I don’t know your situation, but it’s something to consider. I’m sorry it’s a tough time right now. I remember those days when my kids were young. You will get through. Give yourself time to reflect on the entire teeth situation without feeling pressure. |
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Post by quinlove on May 26, 2018 12:55:55 GMT
((( tinyt )))
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 19:59:00 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 26, 2018 13:52:51 GMT
I had an all day pity party yesterday! I'm so sick of the Irish housing market I could scream. We're getting outbid on every single house we try to buy, the whole system needs a giant kick up the arse.
It's getting so bad I've suggested buying a field and a shed and living in that  |
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perumbula
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,439
Location: Idaho
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Post by perumbula on May 26, 2018 14:11:17 GMT
I’ll whine too. I know I’ve still got time but I’ve found out recently that apparently divorced women are considered by some to be undesirable tenants. The first person who said this to me I was so shocked I just hung up. But the next person I asked why and was told because they ( the divorced women ) bring too many stray men around and have them stay not in the lease. 🙁 um, I’m not the one who cheated. I’ve only dated4 guys in my entire life. WTF So yeah apartment hunting not going too well. And before y’all tell me to look at complexes only - 3br apartments in complexes are rare. Rarer still to allow dogs. Rarer still in my price range. A few prayers for me to find a place in the next 4 months will be appreciated. The next time a potential landlord tells you that you aren't "desirable," remind them that familial status is a protected class under the Fair Housing Act. By refusing you housing based solely on the fact that you are divorced they are in violation of that act and you can report them. A violation of the Fair Housing Act comes with a $10,000 fine. @tinyt I'm so sorry you had a bad day. I get it about the finances. Financial worries are so stressful. Good luck with everything. |
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,975
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on May 26, 2018 14:16:20 GMT
The millionaire mom has it all. She’s married to a great guy, they have wonderful children, and debt is not in their vocabulary. I know this because our kids go to the same semi-private school. Their wealth runs the town. But she is the sweetest person, that whole family is incredibly sweet and kind. Which makes it harder because it’d be easier to take solace if their life was otherwise miserable. Nope. Don't go there. I say this to my kids all the time: "you have no idea what goes on behind closed doors." Sweet and kind to you may not mean sweet and kind to each other. Debt may not be in their vocabulary, but mental illness, drug addiction, spousal abuse etc... may be. |
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Post by hop2 on May 26, 2018 14:21:30 GMT
I’ll whine too. I know I’ve still got time but I’ve found out recently that apparently divorced women are considered by some to be undesirable tenants. The first person who said this to me I was so shocked I just hung up. But the next person I asked why and was told because they ( the divorced women ) bring too many stray men around and have them stay not in the lease. 🙁 um, I’m not the one who cheated. I’ve only dated4 guys in my entire life. WTF So yeah apartment hunting not going too well. And before y’all tell me to look at complexes only - 3br apartments in complexes are rare. Rarer still to allow dogs. Rarer still in my price range. A few prayers for me to find a place in the next 4 months will be appreciated. The next time a potential landlord tells you that you aren't "desirable," remind them that familial status is a protected class under the Fair Housing Act. By refusing you housing based solely on the fact that you are divorced they are in violation of that act and you can report them. A violation of the Fair Housing Act comes with a $10,000 fine. @tinyt I'm so sorry you had a bad day. I get it about the finances. Financial worries are so stressful. Good luck with everything. I know that, but you can’t prove what they say verbally. I was floored that not one, but 2 people said it. And frankly I’m sort of ok that they did because if they are ok breaking that rule then what else are they ok doing, so maybe I dodged a bullet. I have time. I’m not freaking out yet. I’ll freak out in September if I haven’t figured it out. |
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