Here's a WWPD

I would be honest & tell them he's not a great swimmer and that you need him to have adult supervision at all times in the water. But be prepared for her to tell you that it's ok for you to stay the whole time to watch them

DS would love to come over; however, I am not comfortable with him swimming unsupervised.

Just say that and see what she says

I would be upset. I would not be too keen on having my 7 year old over there to swim anymore. You told her he wasn’t a strong/reliable swimmer and she still left him and her own kid alone to go take “a nap” (calling bullshit on that one). 2 eleven year olds are not a replacement for a grown up supervisor. What if something had happened to any of them, not just your son?

If you are wanting to save this friendship you are going to have to have the uncomfortable conversation with the mom. Just say, hey, I’m not comfortable with him coming over to swim unsupervised. And go from there.

i wouldn't allow it. i would be totally unconcerned about parents napping while kids in the house... but that would be a no-go for me.

so ya, what keithurbanlovinpea said.

I might also remind her the letting kids swim unsupervised is a lawsuit waiting to happen

Looks like you have to have the uncomfortable conversation with her.

That situation was not at all acceptable.

I could not in good conscience allow my child to swim while in their care again.

You clearly told her he wasn’t a strong swimmer. It’s not like they ran in for a quick minute or to grab something. It’s not even like they were inside but could see the children. They were Pretty unavailable if something happened.

Clearly she has different safety ideas than you do.

I am of the if children are swimming an adult who can swim is looking at them the entire time mode of parenting.

Sure I might be doing something with my hands like folding laundry or something that doesn’t require my attention. But I’m watching. I might read if watching strong swimmers but I’m THERE, I did that up until they swam with friends who were lifeguards. At that point I’m am watching them from time to time and always within earshot.

I will admit that at our lake where there are life guards I did read while my kids swam, glancing up to check frequently. But there were lifeguards with more actual skill than I have watching everyone. Without life guards I felt too uncomfortable to not actually watch them.

I was curious about the life jacket but upon thought decided that it didn’t really matter if it was on as stuff still can happen.

All the more reason to be Pea livid, if you ask me. The mom KNEW your kid wasn’t a good swimmer AND didn’t make sure he had a life jacket ON AND left the kids to play by and in the water by themselves AND then went to take a nap (or whatever?)? No, no, NO!!! How incredibly stupid.

Ever since forever, when we are at the lake cabin ALL children WILL have life jackets ON when they are by the lake or even in the yard by the lakeshore. Period. They all grow up understanding this is the hard and fast rule and none of them ever challenge it. Even once they get a little older (my kid is 8 now and can swim fairly well) they still need to wear their life jackets when they are fishing on the dock or playing on or near the boats. It only takes a split second for something to go terribly wrong so all of us parents (and grandparents) watch out for everybody’s kids.

I agree. This is a good way to handle it.

At our family lake home, no kids go in the lake unless an adult is right there by the lake. 

When we have guests, the rule is a PARENT is right there. 

Some years the water off the dock is deeper than other years. Those years, the smaller kids have to wear a life jacket on the dock. (they like to fish there)

I would be pea livid too, and even after telling her I was not comfortable about him having been left unsupervised Iwouldn’t ever be able to trust her to take it seriously and watch my kid. I wouldn’t let him over unless you were able to go. In a situation like that there are no second chances.

I cannot believe after you told her that he needed a life jacket she not only didn’t make him wear one but she left him in the care of 11 year olds. Not ok, not worth the risk or worry again.

Honestly? I think you need to talk to her and see what she says. Give her a chance to tell you what happened. Then I would tell her DS isn't allowed to swim unsupervised.

What other peas have said - I would simply tell them that you don't allow him to be in the water without an adult there watching. I have a pool and last summer was the first time that I allowed my 2 13 year old grandsons to swim without an adult outside with them and only when there are 2 of them, never one alone. My pool is only 4 feet deep but I would rather err on the side of caution. You just never know, and in a pond, with no life jacket. No way.

Yeah, I wouldn't allow that either. Very disturbing. I would not let him go to the lake with them.
My kids are 7 and 9 and do swim. We were at a friend's house with a pool yesterday and had eyes on them the whole time. Yes, as a previous poster said - it can happen very quickly and quietly. My kids were on floaties but did not have life jackets on or anything.

Sorry this happened to you. A conversation is in order if he will be going over there this summer. 7 is still pretty young even if he were a strong swimmer.