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Post by disneypal on Jul 17, 2018 18:26:17 GMT
If you want to go and are able to just write him back and say that your plans have changed and you are able to come now. Simply state that if it is too late (due to meal planning and such) that you totally understand and you won't be offended.
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Post by chances on Jul 18, 2018 1:39:28 GMT
Long story short: I received a wedding invite from a former colleague in February for a wedding in August. There was no RSVP date, so I assumed it was flexible. This person and I were friendly, but I was honestly surprised he invited me to the wedding. I want to go, but it's across the country and could conflict with a work event. For various reasons, I couldn't get complete confirmation of work event dates. As the wedding approached, I got more and more worried I was being a bad guest by not responding in a timely matter. About a week ago, he sent a polite email asking if I would be coming. I still didn't know the dates, so I declined. Now (of course) I have confirmation and I can attend the wedding. Would it be rude to write back and change my mind? They sent out invites 6 mos prior? That is crazy. When are they usually sent? |
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Post by freecharlie on Jul 18, 2018 2:02:21 GMT
Am I the only one who invited the people I wanted to be at my wedding to my wedding?
I would be thrilled that someone who couldn't make it previously was now able to make it.
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NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856 
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on Jul 18, 2018 2:43:23 GMT
Am I the only one who invited the people I wanted to be at my wedding to my wedding? I would be thrilled that someone who couldn't make it previously was now able to make it. Nope..you're not alone. We invited people we wanted not people who we felt we had to invite. |
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Post by scrapmaven on Jul 18, 2018 3:07:07 GMT
Now you have 6 months to think of the perfect gift. NO WAY! He's being rude.
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Post by scrapmaven on Jul 18, 2018 3:08:27 GMT
They sent out invites 6 mos prior? That is crazy. When are they usually sent? It's proper to send invitations 6 weeks before the wedding. For people that you are close to who would need to travel you can send a save-the-date card just to help them clear their schedule, but honestly the universe doesn't revolve around your wedding. |
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mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
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Post by mallie on Jul 18, 2018 11:58:07 GMT
When my dd got married, we sent out STD prior. In my experience, people look at STD and toss them, forget about it. Invitations make it real.
we sent out the invitations nearly 6 months in advance because it was a destination wedding for everyone but the bride and groom and me and my dh. Based on the work and personal lives of many people, we also know that giving people only 6 weeks is insufficient to put in time off requests, get daycare, etc. So we would rather err on giving people more time than less.
ALso 6 weeks would not have worked with the venue/caterer number notification. Per contract, we had to give the numbers 30 days in advance. (Standard notification around here.) So that would have given people only 2 weeks to get the RSVPs back. People are terrible about RSVPs and giving them only 2 weeks is setting yourself up for failure.
In so far as wanting people to come no matter how late they respond? Nice sentiment, but not realistic for a typical wedding. At $90/person (average cost here), we simply could not afford to build in extra plates at that 30 day mark just in case someone wanted to come last minute. (Cue up the chorus of, "Well, my homemade wedding catered by my great aunts cost us only $90 for the whole food service and so you could have added people if you weren't a cog in the bridal industrial complex.")
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Kerri W
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,836
Location: Kentucky
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Post by Kerri W on Jul 18, 2018 11:59:30 GMT
You've responded, I would stick with that and move on sending a nice gift.
I'll admit to being a little confused by your attitude. Not important enough to RSVP quickly, surprised to even receive an invite because you weren't that close to going to not extreme but decent lengths of flying across the country to attend?
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Post by freecharlie on Jul 18, 2018 15:13:09 GMT
When my dd got married, we sent out STD prior. In my experience, people look at STD and toss them, forget about it. Invitations make it real. we sent out the invitations nearly 6 months in advance because it was a destination wedding for everyone but the bride and groom and me and my dh. Based on the work and personal lives of many people, we also know that giving people only 6 weeks is insufficient to put in time off requests, get daycare, etc. So we would rather err on giving people more time than less. ALso 6 weeks would not have worked with the venue/caterer number notification. Per contract, we had to give the numbers 30 days in advance. (Standard notification around here.) So that would have given people only 2 weeks to get the RSVPs back. People are terrible about RSVPs and giving them only 2 weeks is setting yourself up for failure. In so far as wanting people to come no matter how late they respond? Nice sentiment, but not realistic for a typical wedding. At $90/person (average cost here), we simply could not afford to build in extra plates at that 30 day mark just in case someone wanted to come last minute. (Cue up the chorus of, "Well, my homemade wedding catered by my great aunts cost us only $90 for the whole food service and so you could have added people if you weren't a cog in the bridal industrial complex.") you're right, my wedding the caterer automatically added in a couple. Apparently wherever you had it had much harsher restrictions because Most places don't require a headcount at 30 days. |
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PrettyInPeank
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,691
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Post by PrettyInPeank on Jul 18, 2018 15:19:47 GMT
I agree the ship has sailed this close to the end. I'm curious about no RSVP date though. Was there a RSVP card at least?
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