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Post by ~summer~ on Jul 19, 2018 1:59:49 GMT
I guess I don’t understand why this is so awkward?? You are embarrassed to tell him you don’t want to pay anything? I think it’s perfectly fine to just say yes we are interested only if he is giving it away....
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Post by zztop11 on Jul 19, 2018 2:00:02 GMT
I value our friendship (hence the free sectional) so I think walking away is best thing. Although he seems eager to get rid of it since he doesn't need it. Any advice on walking away if he gets insistent? My advice is to keep walking. Just say no.
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rodeomom
Pearl Clutcher
Refupee # 380 "I don't have to run fast, I just have to run faster than you."
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Location: Chickasaw Nation, Oklahoma
Jun 25, 2014 23:34:38 GMT
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Post by rodeomom on Jul 19, 2018 2:00:41 GMT
I value our friendship (hence the free sectional) so I think walking away is best thing. Although he seems eager to get rid of it since he doesn't need it. Any advice on walking away if he gets insistent? "It's not really what I wanted, but thanks anyway" And I think your right if you want to save the friendship.
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PrettyInPeank
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,691
Jun 25, 2014 21:31:58 GMT
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Post by PrettyInPeank on Jul 19, 2018 2:08:55 GMT
I guess I don’t understand why this is so awkward?? You are embarrassed to tell him you don’t want to pay anything? I think it’s perfectly fine to just say yes we are interested only if he is giving it away.... It's awkward because we thought we were the type of friends who would give away a used couch (albeit still sellable) or paid what he paid for the vanity. He's acting more like a Craigslist seller than a friend by saying "enough" when asked what he paid. We only asked that so we can make a fair offer; we didn't want to insult him offering $250 if he paid $500 for it. Although I'd guess he paid less than $100 considering his stories of only going for the best bargains and haggling. We bought a different vanity for a different bathroom at this same big box store brand. It was a open box floor model marked to $500. I tried the haggle thing Chad recommended and they marked it down for $200. So I imagine with his experience and upper level district management, he got a steal of a deal.
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Post by mustlovecats on Jul 19, 2018 2:29:59 GMT
I would ask the question again. “Hey listen, I just want to make thisndeal on the vanity satisfactory for everyone. I’m not doing a good job of guessing what that vanity cost you and I don’t want to offer you too much or too little and make things weird over a piece of furniture. Please just tell me what you want for the vanity.” And if he doesn’t I would move on from this deal. Or move on in the first place as it all comes across a bit awkward as it is.
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Post by christine58 on Jul 19, 2018 2:34:08 GMT
Well...you didn't pay for the sectional and he paid for the vanity. Not sure what to tell you. "enough" isn't a great answer from him. Point blank ask him what he wants for it...if he continues to skirt the answer, tell him you changed your mind
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Post by bc2ca on Jul 19, 2018 2:34:58 GMT
I agree, it is awkward and I'd be irritated at the coy "enough" and telling you the full price value. Either tell me what you want or consider it a trade for the sectional, but don't make me try guess what you want.
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Post by worrywart on Jul 19, 2018 2:54:49 GMT
Dang, do you still have to give him the sectional? I think he is in the wrong...Can you ask your relative who gave you the sectional if they have someone else who would want it? I would not get the vanity and to keep it nice just say that you and dh couldn't agree on the decor you wanted so you are going to wait.
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gina
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Posts: 3,228
Jun 26, 2014 1:59:16 GMT
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Post by gina on Jul 19, 2018 3:26:10 GMT
I would NEVER give him $$ after you gave him the sectional. He has nerve to even suggest it!
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SabrinaP
Pearl Clutcher
Busy Teacher Pea
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Post by SabrinaP on Jul 19, 2018 3:35:45 GMT
I would tell him what you are willing to pay and let him know if it’s not enough that’s fine but you will have to pass.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jul 19, 2018 4:02:02 GMT
honestly, after all that, I'd feel like calling back the mover and finding out how much $$ he wanted to offer for the sectional! giving a very expensive sectional to him, and he wants you to PAY for the vanity? and you don't really love it, on top of all that?!? nope. Along that same line of thinking, you actually turned down money for the sectional and instead are giving it to him for nothing. So yeah, it cost you something. To both of these. I’d call the mover back and see if he still wants the couch. Chad doesn’t sound like much of a friend.
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PrettyInPeank
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,691
Jun 25, 2014 21:31:58 GMT
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Post by PrettyInPeank on Jul 19, 2018 4:40:21 GMT
I would ask the question again. “Hey listen, I just want to make thisndeal on the vanity satisfactory for everyone. I’m not doing a good job of guessing what that vanity cost you and I don’t want to offer you too much or too little and make things weird over a piece of furniture. Please just tell me what you want for the vanity.” And if he doesn’t I would move on from this deal. Or move on in the first place as it all comes across a bit awkward as it is. When my husband got home, I went to tell him we'd just pass on the vanity. But he said Chad had texted him again earlier asking if we wanted it, he just said no thanks. But, I have a feeling when he picks up the sectional, he'll bring it up again. Because hr doesn't need it and happens to know someone who needs one... I will text this thread to my husband so he can read this approach because it's straightforward. Thanks peas
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LeaP
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Post by LeaP on Jul 19, 2018 5:38:28 GMT
What a weird and irritating situation. I'm with those who say to walk away from the vanity. It will always remind you of the weirdness with Chad and if you don't love it, it will be hard to overcome.
Let us know what happens.
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Post by katiekaty on Jul 19, 2018 5:55:12 GMT
Tell him you have to keep the sectional couch for now since you have to buy another piece of furniture (the vanity). If he offers to give you the vanity in exchange for the sectional great, if not sell it to the moving guy and buy what you want.
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Post by lucyg on Jul 19, 2018 6:01:46 GMT
I understand that he paid $$ for the vanity, but still, you're giving him a nice piece of furniture for free. He will not be out of pocket buying himself a sofa. I would just say no thanks on the vanity, and if he presses you about it, tell him nicely that you were surprised he asked you to pay for it, considering.
I really don't like that "enough" answer, either. Dirty thing to do to any friend, especially one who just gave you a major piece of furniture that you wanted.
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
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Post by anniebygaslight on Jul 19, 2018 6:31:27 GMT
Honestly? I’d probably respond with something like, “Let’s just call it an even swap for the sectional.” and see what he says. He's a cheeky bugger, however you cut it.
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PaperAngel
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Posts: 7,391
Jun 27, 2014 23:04:06 GMT
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Post by PaperAngel on Jul 19, 2018 6:32:40 GMT
I suspect your friend will not keep the sectional, but sell it to the highest bidder among his friends/acquaintances; it's his side hustle. You may want to reconsider giving it to him by stating, "I find bidding on items between friends awkward. Since we value your friendship, we don't want to participate & will donate the sofa elsewhere."
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Post by gailoh on Jul 19, 2018 10:30:32 GMT
You need to know how much it is new...go from there
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Post by disneypal on Jul 19, 2018 10:41:20 GMT
I value our friendship (hence the free sectional) so I think walking away is best thing. Although he seems eager to get rid of it since he doesn't need it. Any advice on walking away if he gets insistent? I can’t believe he’d expect you to pay him for the vanity after you gave him a practical new $4K sectional If he asks for payment, I would just say...we decided we don’t want to take up the space with a vanity - thanks anyway
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Post by LisaDV on Jul 19, 2018 11:13:09 GMT
I'm assuming your relative didn't charge you for the sectional - if they did my answer changes. You had a free sectional that you passed on to your friend. If your friend BOUGHT the vanity and it's as you say brand new, I wouldn't have a problem with him recouping his money. I would have a problem with him trying to make money off you as you were nice enough to gift him a used sofa. While the sofa was worth more originally, it's not worth anything close to the $4k it was new. It's actually really hard to resell soft goods for reasonable prices. That was our line of thinking. We did not pay for the sectional. He likely paid something for the vanity. We figured we'd pay what he paid, but now the whole thing makes us uncomfortable. So maybe he paid more than he thinks you should pay. Still was hoping to recoup some of his money, but not expecting you to pay the full price he paid. Maybe just talk to him truthfully. I find trying to figure out what someone else is thinking never works the right way and miscommunication happens that cause hurt feelings on both sides. If hurt feelings are caused in a respectful honest communication, most reasonable people can get over it quickly. If walking away which is another good option, I'd just say, you know it fits the spot perfectly, but I'm just not in love with the piece. I think I'll keep looking until I find something I really can't live without. Good luck.
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teddyw
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Jun 29, 2014 1:56:04 GMT
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Post by teddyw on Jul 19, 2018 11:46:16 GMT
You shouldn’t settle for a vanity that isn’t exactly what you want just because he’s a friend. Keep saying no thanks
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Nanner
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Posts: 5,976
Jun 25, 2014 23:13:23 GMT
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Post by Nanner on Jul 19, 2018 11:53:21 GMT
Chad's an ass, and that "enough" answer would tick me off.
Glad you passed on it. I would have too.
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Post by mikklynn on Jul 19, 2018 12:11:36 GMT
Honestly? I’d probably respond with something like, “Let’s just call it an even swap for the sectional.” and see what he says. I agree.
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Post by mygigiscraps on Jul 19, 2018 12:26:30 GMT
Honestly, there is no way in hell I'd feel obligated to buy something I didn't love from someone I'd just given a big ticket item to. I would just tell him it isn't your taste. Why should you have to look at it every day, knowing that you were pushed into buying it? FWIW, Chad is a tool.
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J u l e e
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Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Jul 19, 2018 12:31:18 GMT
And I would think Chad was an even bigger tool if he's going to continue to ask/push if you want the vanity after your husband already said no thanks.
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AmeliaBloomer
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Jun 26, 2014 5:01:45 GMT
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Post by AmeliaBloomer on Jul 19, 2018 13:00:29 GMT
Let us know what happens. And THIS is the most important thing here. Yes, more important than your (OP’s) dilemma, your new house, your friendships, ANYTHING. (There’s an un-updated upholstered chair AND a kitchen set from here rattling around in the niggling, unresolved wing of my brain. Please don’t add a bathroom vanity. Not enough square feet.)
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Post by auntkelly on Jul 19, 2018 13:04:18 GMT
I would treat the couch and vanity as two separate transactions.
You already told Chad you’d give him the couch for free, so you should do what you’ve already promised. The vanity was not part of that transaction. Be glad you got rid of it. Used furniture is worth very little.
With regard to the vanity, I would walk. I think Chad should have offered it to you for a fair price from the beginning. He could have said “I’m planning on listing this on Craig’s list for $450, but I’ll sell it to you for $400 if you want it.”
I would not be mad that Chad is trying to recoup the money he paid for the vanity, but I would tell him “I don’t play those ‘make an offer games’ w/ car salespersons and I’m sure not doing it with a friend.”
I think your husband has done the right thing by telling Chad he’s not interested in the vanity.
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Post by giatocj on Jul 19, 2018 13:32:24 GMT
I guess I don’t understand why this is so awkward?? You are embarrassed to tell him you don’t want to pay anything? I think it’s perfectly fine to just say yes we are interested only if he is giving it away.... It's awkward because we thought we were the type of friends who would give away a used couch (albeit still sellable) or paid what he paid for the vanity. He's acting more like a Craigslist seller than a friend by saying "enough" when asked what he paid. We only asked that so we can make a fair offer; we didn't want to insult him offering $250 if he paid $500 for it. Although I'd guess he paid less than $100 considering his stories of only going for the best bargains and haggling. We bought a different vanity for a different bathroom at this same big box store brand. It was a open box floor model marked to $500. I tried the haggle thing Chad recommended and they marked it down for $200. So I imagine with his experience and upper level district management, he got a steal of a deal. It seems like you value the friendship way more than Chad does, which makes it pretty one-sided. Just tell him you changed your mind and keep right on walking. He really doesn't sound like a true friend, but you're a much better judge of his character than maybe what is coming across in your posts. I'd be looking at this guy in the rear view mirror.
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Jul 19, 2018 13:33:31 GMT
I would have assumed that he was giving it to you free, since you gave him a nice couch that you could have easily sold. I can see why it would be awkward. At this point, I would say something like, "Oh, sorry. I thought you were offering it to us free as kind of an exchange for the couch. If we are paying for a vanity, I would rather find the exact one that I am looking for."
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Post by pastlifepea on Jul 19, 2018 13:41:41 GMT
I would have assumed that he was giving it to you free, since you gave him a nice couch that you could have easily sold. I can see why it would be awkward. At this point, I would say something like, "Oh, sorry. I thought you were offering it to us free as kind of an exchange for the couch. If we are paying for a vanity, I would rather find the exact one that I am looking for." This! Perfect, diplomatic, and to the point.
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