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Post by midorica on Sept 11, 2018 16:22:34 GMT
So I've had a crazy morning. I've been doing a destash of some of my crafting supplies for the last few weeks, on various groups on FB. I had a lady message me about buying some dies 2 weeks ago and she wanted to do a local pickup. She told me she had a cast on her foot, so (of my own volition) I offered to meet her at the subway station instead of having her walk 10 minutes to my building. The transaction went fine, she was very happy and asked me to let her know first if I had more stamps and dies to sell. I didn't think she was serious, so I just said OK, but she messaged me the next day telling me what sort of stamps and dies she was looking for. I decided to look through my stash again and pulled out a few more things, took pictures and sent her the details. She was very excited, thanked me profusely and vaguely told me what she wanted to get.
Now that the backstory is done, here's what happened next. I messaged her a few times to confirm which items she wanted so I could post the rest for sale. When she didn't respond, I just put aside the 3 items she'd specifically mentioned and posted the rest. She disappeared for a week, then I remembered to follow up. She said she'd been sick, so I expressed my sympathy and asked her to contact me when she was well and knew what she wanted. She disappeared again. At this point I wasn't sure what to do (we'd been corresponding for 1.5 weeks!!) but I didn't want to be mean, so I waited another day or 2 and then followed up again. She apologized profusely and said she still wanted her items. The whole cycle continued.
Finally, over this last weekend, she said she'd contact me Sunday night to set up a time for Monday. I agreed and forgot about it. I was going through my phone yesterday evening when I remembered that we were supposed to coordinate the pickup time. So.... I texted her again. I offered to mail them to her (it would only cost $1 or $2) so she wouldn't have to come all the way (and pay at least $6 for the fare). She didn't respond.
This morning, I thought this was getting ridiculous. I'd tried to be as nice as I possibly could, held onto the dies for 2 weeks, followed up, left her alone, basically done whatever I possibly could. So I sent her a slightly stiff text, saying that I needed her to tell me when she would complete the transaction because I had been waiting a while and wanted to get this over with. She responded within 15 minutes, apologizing and saying that she'd forgotten that she had a religious holiday yesterday and she could come pick everything up in an hour (did not acknowledge that I'd said I'd prefer to mail everything now instead of trying to coordinate a meeting) and could I meet her at the subway station again? I told her I couldn't meet her at the station since I'm working to meet a deadline today, but she could come to my building. She refused to come to my building and started going on about didn't I trust her? Didn't she come last time? She's sorry, she just forgot it was a religious holiday!!
I said I did trust her, which is why I'd been holding onto her items for so long, but I just couldn't make it to the station in an hour. Maybe she could come later today? She asked me what time, but when I told her, she suddenly had to go to a religious ceremony with her grandson tonight. So I said, ok, I can wait one more day, let's meet tomorrow afternoon. And that's when she suddenly lost it and started accusing me of being rude and having a bad attitude. And suddenly brought up her Persian nurse who is very nice (I believe she was trying to say I look Persian and am not nice? Who can say.). And told me I was rude and not respecting her religion!! She won't buy the items because I am so rude!!
I admit, I was so bewildered at this point that I continued to engage. I told her I was sorry if I had inadvertently offended her, but I was trying to get the appointment set up and get back to work. And it was fine if she didn't want to buy the dies any more. She kept going on about how she'd said she was going to synagogue! And it was religious holiday! And I was so rude! And I shouldn't bother her any more!
That's when I realized this was going nowhere. So I wrote her a final message, asking her to stop ranting at me when I had tried my best to be nice and had even apologized if I had accidentally hurt her feelings. I let myself be a little passive aggressive and said "have a great day". And then got a wonderful response from her accusing me of not being a good Canadian immigrant like her because I don't know all the religious holidays celebrated here and that I cannot use ultimatums in the business I am running (did I mention that I was just selling a few things from my personal stash and have no craft business?). She told me she was not my friend (funny, I don't remember saying she was) and that I was rude!!
And that's when I finally blocked her.
If you read all of that, thank you and sorry for rambling on. What a morning honestly. I hope the rest of my day goes better.
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Post by KikiPea on Sept 11, 2018 16:36:12 GMT
That is exactly why I won’t sell anything, usually even to friends.
I’m sorry you had to deal with her. You lasted longer than I would have!
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Post by scrapperal on Sept 11, 2018 16:36:46 GMT
What a kook! I hope you're able to sell the rest of your stuff quickly. I'm trying to destash too (so why do I keep buying???) and have run into similar kooks.
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Post by patin on Sept 11, 2018 16:40:04 GMT
WOW! That was all kind of crazy. You are much nicer than I would have been.
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Post by sleepingbooty on Sept 11, 2018 16:41:55 GMT
Well, erm, sounds like you caught a bit of a drama queen? I get being forgetful (I am) but then getting offended and wanting everything on her terms without reaching what would've been a very simple compromise looks like an unwilling participant trying to shove the blame on the other person for "a deal" (gah, it's just a couple of dies, she didn't need to react so passionately over this) gone wrong.
Good for you standing your ground. I think you were patient enough.
Also, what the hell is this whole trust debate strangers have? No, I don't effin' trust you nor should I because, hello, common sense. But if I'm giving you the address of the building where I live, I think you have no reason to accuse me of not trusting you (which I would never feel the need to defend anyway). People are weird and very you-don't-recognise-me-for-my-true-worth in situations that absolutely do not require any ego or self-importance. You're buying a few dies on the cheap: it's a basic transaction, get over yourself.
As for the religious holiday observation and the Canadian vs US American thing, whatever. What-the-freakin'-ever. It doesn't make any logical sense. Were all the American Peas celebrating Rosh Hashanah yesterday? Did Rosh Hashanah get extended to multiple weeks this year? Shame on her. Her religious holiday has nothing to do with her behaviour over the weeks. And it certainly does not excuse her lack of basic politeness at the end of the exchange. All of those words did not reveal a very festive mood. Maybe she needed to add some items to her please-excuse-me list for Yom Kippur?
Shameful display of behaviour on her side. And hiding behind religion and wild, unfounded accusations of the other party, too.
Vent away, my friend!
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Post by Linda on Sept 11, 2018 16:46:57 GMT
wow!
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Vent
Sept 11, 2018 17:17:28 GMT
via mobile
Post by midorica on Sept 11, 2018 17:17:28 GMT
Thank you all for the support! I'm working on not letting myself get so shaken by such encounters (thankfully, they are not all too frequent)...
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Vent
Sept 11, 2018 17:18:10 GMT
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Post by midorica on Sept 11, 2018 17:18:10 GMT
Well, erm, sounds like you caught a bit of a drama queen? I get being forgetful (I am) but then getting offended and wanting everything on her terms without reaching what would've been a very simple compromise looks like an unwilling participant trying to shove the blame on the other person for "a deal" (gah, it's just a couple of dies, she didn't need to react so passionately over this) gone wrong. Good for you standing your ground. I think you were patient enough. Also, what the hell is this whole trust debate strangers have? No, I don't effin' trust you nor should I because, hello, common sense. But if I'm giving you the address of the building where I live, I think you have no reason to accuse me of not trusting you (which I would never feel the need to defend anyway). People are weird and very you-don't-recognise-me-for-my-true-worth in situations that absolutely do not require any ego or self-importance. You're buying a few dies on the cheap: it's a basic transaction, get over yourself. As for the religious holiday observation and the Canadian vs US American thing, whatever. What-the-freakin'-ever. It doesn't make any logical sense. Were all the American Peas celebrating Rosh Hashanah yesterday? Did Rosh Hashanah get extended to multiple weeks this year? Shame on her. Her religious holiday has nothing to do with her behaviour over the weeks. And it certainly does not excuse her lack of basic politeness at the end of the exchange. All of those words did not reveal a very festive mood. Maybe she needed to add some items to her please-excuse-me list for Yom Kippur? Shameful display of behaviour on her side. And hiding behind religion and wild, unfounded accusations of the other party, too. Vent away, my friend! Thank you!! That whole "trust" thing really threw me for a loop, but you're absolutely right.
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Post by anniefb on Sept 11, 2018 19:31:01 GMT
Just plain weird IMO. I think you bent over backwards to accommodate all her issues so nothing to apologise for IMO.
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nicolep
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,169
Jan 26, 2016 16:10:43 GMT
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Post by nicolep on Sept 11, 2018 19:40:17 GMT
Wow. What an experience!
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Post by stinkerbelle on Sept 11, 2018 19:49:24 GMT
ugh, sorry! i work with people all day long and if there's anything i can definitively say about this world, it's that people suck. hope your next selling experience goes better!
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Post by scrapaddict702 on Sept 11, 2018 19:55:07 GMT
I was a bit passive about some stamps that were posted on FB marketplace (I admit, I wasn't sure I needed the items but never said for sure I would buy them beyond negotiating a price) and when I finally decided I wanted the items, the woman's husband (who's account she was using) said fine, but instead of $50, it's $100 because someone on youtube was willing to pay that and that I was to not contact them again except via phone number (Facebook automatically redacts phone numbers on the marketplace, so FB messages was literally the only way I had to contact this person). I politely declined due to the price suddenly increasing and the man replied, 'exactly, don't waste people's time when you clearly can't afford it'. I replied that he was ridiculous and that only a fool would jump at the chance to buy something for twice the price offered. This was all after I sent an initial offer and instead of responding, they updated their listing description to state not to contact them with offers and then replied to me days later because the items weren't selling, lol.
Some people are just idiots.
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Post by mikklynn on Sept 11, 2018 19:58:58 GMT
You know the saying "bitches be crazy"? There are some real doozies out there!
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Post by joblackford on Sept 11, 2018 21:03:10 GMT
Oh my goodness...
It sounds like she was projecting a lot of stuff onto you (the Persian nurse thing ?) and maybe she's had bad experiences with people not respecting her religion, but you weren't! And seriously, you were so patient and sending a terse email saying "ok, so let's wrap this thing up and arrange a time" was not at all unreasonable.
That kind of thing is why it's usually not worth it to me to sell anything. People, man...
I hope your future destashing adventures are more mellow and less flakey.
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kelly8875
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,407
Location: Lost in my supplies...
Oct 26, 2014 17:02:56 GMT
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Post by kelly8875 on Sept 11, 2018 21:36:09 GMT
Ugh, what a pain! I’d probably have done all the same steps as you, and I don’t think you did anything wrong or insensitive.
This is also why I don’t try to sell...it almost not worth the money.
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Post by 950nancy on Sept 11, 2018 21:54:34 GMT
You bent over backwards for her. Don't give it another thought. Sometimes people have bad days and sometimes people are assholes. Don't try to figure out which one this lady is/was going through. Sell your stuff and be done with her.
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msliz
Drama Llama
The Procrastinator
Posts: 6,419
Jun 26, 2014 21:32:34 GMT
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Post by msliz on Sept 11, 2018 23:31:00 GMT
How frustrating. What a nutcase!
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Post by midorica on Sept 12, 2018 0:34:31 GMT
I was a bit passive about some stamps that were posted on FB marketplace (I admit, I wasn't sure I needed the items but never said for sure I would buy them beyond negotiating a price) and when I finally decided I wanted the items, the woman's husband (who's account she was using) said fine, but instead of $50, it's $100 because someone on youtube was willing to pay that and that I was to not contact them again except via phone number (Facebook automatically redacts phone numbers on the marketplace, so FB messages was literally the only way I had to contact this person). I politely declined due to the price suddenly increasing and the man replied, 'exactly, don't waste people's time when you clearly can't afford it'. I replied that he was ridiculous and that only a fool would jump at the chance to buy something for twice the price offered. This was all after I sent an initial offer and instead of responding, they updated their listing description to state not to contact them with offers and then replied to me days later because the items weren't selling, lol. Some people are just idiots. *speechless*
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Post by midorica on Sept 12, 2018 0:34:58 GMT
You know the saying "bitches be crazy"? There are some real doozies out there! Lol, thanks for the giggle!
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Post by midorica on Sept 12, 2018 0:37:48 GMT
Oh my goodness... It sounds like she was projecting a lot of stuff onto you (the Persian nurse thing ?) and maybe she's had bad experiences with people not respecting her religion, but you weren't! And seriously, you were so patient and sending a terse email saying "ok, so let's wrap this thing up and arrange a time" was not at all unreasonable. That kind of thing is why it's usually not worth it to me to sell anything. People, man... I hope your future destashing adventures are more mellow and less flakey. Thank you! The Persian nurse thing as well as the comments on being an immigrant were quite offensive to me, since they were so irrelevant and I felt she'd judged me because I was wearing ethnic clothes when I met her the first time. I don't see how either comment had anything to do with buying dies.
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Post by midorica on Sept 12, 2018 0:38:13 GMT
You bent over backwards for her. Don't give it another thought. Sometimes people have bad days and sometimes people are assholes. Don't try to figure out which one this lady is/was going through. Sell your stuff and be done with her. Thank you, that's really good advice.
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Post by LisaDV on Sept 12, 2018 13:17:19 GMT
Wow! you definitely had reason to vent. I hope the rest of your destash process is less crazy.
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Post by pennyscraps on Sept 12, 2018 15:42:38 GMT
WOW. SO BIZARRE!!!
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Post by samncam on Sept 12, 2018 15:51:50 GMT
I work retail and we have crazies all the time and some regulars, who are regularly crazy. After seeing one of my regularly-crazy regulars waving her finger in a Costco clerk’s face while shopping with my family, I realized she and the other crazies are crazy EVERYWHERE they go. So don’t go feeling guilty about HER shortcomings and inability to rationalize. She uses that bc the shock factor sometimes makes people give in to her ridiculous demands. Good for you that you were able to be the bigger person, show compassion and kindness, AND stand your ground all at the same time. It’s taken me almost 20 years of retail work to learn how those people should be dealt with, and they still throw me for a loop sometimes.
Bottom line: don’t get stressed out over the crazy lady. You did well.
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Post by workingclassdog on Sept 12, 2018 15:58:32 GMT
Whoa.. that went downhill!! Shake it off.. but yeah she is a crazy one..
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Post by riley on Sept 12, 2018 16:48:09 GMT
Everyone has pretty much said it all but I think you handled it well and made a nice effort. People like that just go careening through life offending mostly everyone they engage with.
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Post by midorica on Sept 12, 2018 22:12:45 GMT
I work retail and we have crazies all the time and some regulars, who are regularly crazy. After seeing one of my regularly-crazy regulars waving her finger in a Costco clerk’s face while shopping with my family, I realized she and the other crazies are crazy EVERYWHERE they go. So don’t go feeling guilty about HER shortcomings and inability to rationalize. She uses that bc the shock factor sometimes makes people give in to her ridiculous demands. Good for you that you were able to be the bigger person, show compassion and kindness, AND stand your ground all at the same time. It’s taken me almost 20 years of retail work to learn how those people should be dealt with, and they still throw me for a loop sometimes. Bottom line: don’t get stressed out over the crazy lady. You did well. Thank you for such a sweet comment, you're too kind
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Post by myboysnme on Sept 12, 2018 23:34:18 GMT
This is why I RAK most stuff. Avoiding hassle is worth what most of the stuff I am getting rid of is worth.
But aside from that, these are business transactions. From now on, no meeting up, no holds, no multiple texts. They can paypal you and you can send it out. Paypal must be received by xx date.
Lastly, no texting or giving out your number. Have an email and paypal you only use for selling your stuff.
That lady was weird and thank God she never knew where you lived. You were much much nicer than needed.
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Deleted
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Oct 6, 2024 10:29:32 GMT
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Vent
Sept 12, 2018 23:39:19 GMT
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midorica likes this
Post by Deleted on Sept 12, 2018 23:39:19 GMT
Welcome to the inter webs. 🤦🏻♀️
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GiantsFan
Prolific Pea
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Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 14:44:56 GMT
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Post by GiantsFan on Sept 12, 2018 23:41:55 GMT
This is why I RAK most stuff. Avoiding hassle is worth what most of the stuff I am getting rid of is worth. But aside from that, these are business transactions. From now on, no meeting up, no holds, no multiple texts. They can paypal you and you can send it out. Paypal must be received by xx date. Lastly, no texting or giving out your number. Have an email and paypal you only use for selling your stuff. That lady was weird and thank God she never knew where you lived. You were much much nicer than needed. This is what I thought of, too.
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