flute4peace
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jul 3, 2014 14:38:35 GMT
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Post by flute4peace on Apr 10, 2019 17:09:55 GMT
Thinking of you today lainey !
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Post by lurker on Apr 10, 2019 17:16:35 GMT
So sorry - will keep you in my thoughts.
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wellway
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,012
Jun 25, 2014 20:50:09 GMT
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Post by wellway on Apr 10, 2019 17:24:02 GMT
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 29, 2024 23:28:27 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 10, 2019 17:31:37 GMT
Thank you all for your continued thoughts and prayers.
Things are not really changing much, we're stuck in a weird kind of limbo.
I had a meeting with a care coordinator this afternoon who wants me to think about having mum moved to a nursing home for her final days, I'm not sure what I think about that.
I just want to tell them to leave her alone, stop poking her with needles, stop asking her if she's hungry, stop waking her up, just stop everything.
I'm not feeling very strong today.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Apr 10, 2019 17:33:56 GMT
Thank you all for your continued thoughts and prayers.
Things are not really changing much, we're stuck in a weird kind of limbo.
I had a meeting with a care coordinator this afternoon who wants me to think about having mum moved to a nursing home for her final days, I'm not sure what I think about that.
I just want to tell them to leave her alone, stop poking her with needles, stop asking her if she's hungry, stop waking her up, just stop everything.
I'm not feeling very strong today. You can do that. I think you're in a different Country, though aren't you? You can have her be put on Palliative cares. They won't poke her, or mess with her. Its what she needs to be comfortable. Still includes pain med's, etc. Is she a DNR?
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 29, 2024 23:28:27 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 10, 2019 17:36:40 GMT
I found some postcards last night that my dad had sent my mum when he was in the navy, they're so sweet and romantic. He was away a lot just after they'd first got married. I'm planning on scrapbooking them with pictures of them both.
I understand that might be a strange thing to be thinking about right now but it is what it is.
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Post by Delta Dawn on Apr 10, 2019 17:37:33 GMT
Thank you all for your continued thoughts and prayers.
Things are not really changing much, we're stuck in a weird kind of limbo.
I had a meeting with a care coordinator this afternoon who wants me to think about having mum moved to a nursing home for her final days, I'm not sure what I think about that.
I just want to tell them to leave her alone, stop poking her with needles, stop asking her if she's hungry, stop waking her up, just stop everything.
I'm not feeling very strong today.
Whatever decision you make for your mum will be the right one. I know your are hurting. I am sending strength.
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Post by phoenixcov on Apr 10, 2019 17:38:00 GMT
Oh lainey I am so very sorry that you are the one who has to make the decision to move your Mum. A local Hospice was where I wanted my dear Dad to be moved to where I knew they would help him and me to respect our wishes on his care. Sadly he passed before the move could be made. Whatever you decide to do next I wish you love and strength in the days ahead.
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Post by anniefb on Apr 10, 2019 17:38:22 GMT
Continuing to think of you and your Mum lainey.
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Post by redshoes on Apr 10, 2019 17:38:48 GMT
I found some postcards last night that my dad had sent my mum when he was in the navy, they're so sweet and romantic. He was away a lot just after they'd first got married. I'm planning on scrapbooking them with pictures of them both.
I understand that might be a strange thing to be thinking about right now but it is what it is.
Not strange at all...whatever brings you comfort and it sounds like those postcards are some very sweet and dear things to have found.
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Post by gar on Apr 10, 2019 17:41:51 GMT
I hope the scrapping will give you some comfort Lainey, nothing weird about thinking about that at all. Hopefully the care coordinator will help you sort through your feelings a bit and give you some guidance. I’m sure it would be more peaceful for your Mum. You’ve come so far for so long, you’re certainly entitled to ‘weak’ days, but you’re stronger than you believe, I’m positive of that ((hugs))
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wellway
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,012
Jun 25, 2014 20:50:09 GMT
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Post by wellway on Apr 10, 2019 17:43:36 GMT
lainey all these decisions are hard, always wondering if you are making the right decision. Maybe the nursing home might be a better fit, ask the care coordinator lots of questions, maybe visit the home before you decide. I don't think thinking about scrapbooking the postcards and photos is at all odd. You are dealing with a lot, do or think about whatever makes it all more bearable.
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Post by MichyM on Apr 10, 2019 17:44:27 GMT
Thank you all for your continued thoughts and prayers.
Things are not really changing much, we're stuck in a weird kind of limbo.
I had a meeting with a care coordinator this afternoon who wants me to think about having mum moved to a nursing home for her final days, I'm not sure what I think about that.
I just want to tell them to leave her alone, stop poking her with needles, stop asking her if she's hungry, stop waking her up, just stop everything.
I'm not feeling very strong today.
I am so very sorry. I’ve lived this (but luckily my mom was at least at her home with me caring for her at the end). I can only describe those last weeks as surreal. So many decisions, so busy, then periods of calm quiet, never knowing when things would get super awful again. Thinking of you and your family and sending love and hugs.
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Post by mikklynn on Apr 10, 2019 18:25:08 GMT
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Judy26
Pearl Clutcher
MOTFY Bitchy Nursemaid
Posts: 2,970
Location: NW PA
Jun 25, 2014 23:50:38 GMT
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Post by Judy26 on Apr 10, 2019 18:42:21 GMT
I recently went through a very similar experience with my father. Second guessing our choices is just part of the struggle but all you can do is make the best decisions with the information you have at hand. 6 months after my dad’s death and having the pictures and mementos that bring back fond memories are a treasure so scrap away knowing you will truly appreciate the pages down the road. I think of you often and will keep you in my nightly prayers. (I have a whole subsection of Pea prayers in my nightly ritual!)
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Apr 10, 2019 18:52:33 GMT
I found some postcards last night that my dad had sent my mum when he was in the navy, they're so sweet and romantic. He was away a lot just after they'd first got married. I'm planning on scrapbooking them with pictures of them both.
I understand that might be a strange thing to be thinking about right now but it is what it is.
Not at all strange. Be as gentle with yourself as possible. I'm sorry for the hurt your family is experiencing.
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Post by jennyap on Apr 10, 2019 19:28:01 GMT
Continuing to think of you lainey ((hugs))
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Post by thundergal on Apr 10, 2019 19:31:55 GMT
Sending love and hugs to you, my dear. I'm so sorry for what you're both experiencing. Wishing you both peace during this time...
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 29, 2024 23:28:27 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 10, 2019 19:36:13 GMT
My friend took me out for coffee, I'm so grateful that she did, I've been pushing away her offers of help all week because of some misguided belief that I need to be strong all the time.
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Post by gar on Apr 10, 2019 19:45:31 GMT
My friend took me out for coffee, I'm so grateful that she did, I've been pushing away her offers of help all week because of some misguided belief that I need to be strong all the time. No one is strong all the time and you’ve been stronger than many for longer than most ((hugs))
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flute4peace
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jul 3, 2014 14:38:35 GMT
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Post by flute4peace on Apr 10, 2019 21:06:41 GMT
My friend took me out for coffee, I'm so grateful that she did, I've been pushing away her offers of help all week because of some misguided belief that I need to be strong all the time. No one is strong all the time and you’ve been stronger than many for longer than most ((hugs)) Absolutely! Now is the time for you to lean on others.
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Post by twinks on Apr 10, 2019 22:56:18 GMT
Hugs! I am glad you got away for a bit.
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Post by Zee on Apr 10, 2019 23:03:22 GMT
Thank you all for your continued thoughts and prayers.
Things are not really changing much, we're stuck in a weird kind of limbo.
I had a meeting with a care coordinator this afternoon who wants me to think about having mum moved to a nursing home for her final days, I'm not sure what I think about that.
I just want to tell them to leave her alone, stop poking her with needles, stop asking her if she's hungry, stop waking her up, just stop everything.
I'm not feeling very strong today.
You definitely can ask them to stop all that and just do comfort care. Do you have hospice care available? I hope the scrapping helped today.
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Post by JoP on Apr 11, 2019 16:52:20 GMT
lainey I’m so pleased you went out for coffee. Sending you and keeping you in my thoughts
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Post by crazy4scraps on Apr 11, 2019 17:22:02 GMT
Sending you virtual hugs today from across the miles. I’m so glad you let your friend convince you to take a bit of a break. You need to take care of yourself too. A hospice place would be much quieter and more restful for everyone all around than a hospital with the constant people and noise.
My BFF’s mom had been staying at home but went to a very nice hospice facility at the very end. She was only there for about a week before she passed away. It was nice for BFF’s dad and other family members because it was easier for visitors to come see her and say their goodbyes vs. having people coming and going in and out of their house. Her DH was able to coordinate with their kids and older grandkids so someone was always there with her and he could go home to shower and sleep some. She had a hospital bed in her room that was easier for her to be comfortable in, and skilled nursing staff was there 24/7 to help keep her comfortable around the clock. It was a very good thing for their family.
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Post by gillyp on Apr 11, 2019 17:39:41 GMT
Take all the help that is offered. People won’t see it as you being weak and they genuinely will be pleased that they’ve been able to do something for you.
I hope there is a suitable hospice close at hand that you will feel comfortable with mum there.
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Post by kikitwo on Apr 11, 2019 18:46:41 GMT
Hospice is wonderful. They will stop any treatments you or the patient don’t want. My mother died at home
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janeinbama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,200
Location: Alabama
Jan 29, 2015 16:24:49 GMT
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Post by janeinbama on Apr 11, 2019 19:54:37 GMT
Looking at cards from happier times with loved ones is perfect, if it helps you. Your mother if very lucky to have such a caring, loving daughter as you Lainey.
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RedSquirrelUK
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,897
Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
Aug 2, 2014 13:03:45 GMT
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Post by RedSquirrelUK on Apr 11, 2019 21:47:52 GMT
Hugs from me too.
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Post by mikklynn on Apr 12, 2019 12:04:41 GMT
My friend took me out for coffee, I'm so grateful that she did, I've been pushing away her offers of help all week because of some misguided belief that I need to be strong all the time. I'm glad you accepted her offer. It's not necessary (or possible) to be strong all the time. I think you have been pretty amazing! Sending a little strength your way, lainey.
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