gina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,298
Jun 26, 2014 1:59:16 GMT
|
Post by gina on Apr 14, 2019 17:56:47 GMT
First off, one of my closest friends would never say no and if they did, I would automatically say why not. That's really crappy of your friend. I would have totally replied back with "Seriously?" That's not a friend.
|
|
Elsabelle
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,675
Jun 26, 2014 2:04:55 GMT
|
Post by Elsabelle on Apr 14, 2019 20:12:16 GMT
MichyM , here's a story that should make you feel better about your simple request. An acquaintance that I haven't seen or spoken to in 10 years got my number from a friend and called me. She said her friend was interested in buying a vehicle in an area an hour away from a city I used to live in 5 years ago. She knew I didn't live there anymore but wanted me to find a friend there who would drive an hour away to look over a vehicle that her friend might buy. That is ridiculous! How did she react when you laughed in her face?! Totally ridiculous! Surprisingly or unsurprisingly, she texted a few days later to ask again if I had thought of anyone. The answer was still no.
|
|
peabrain
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,588
Jun 25, 2014 22:18:04 GMT
|
Post by peabrain on Apr 16, 2019 18:52:53 GMT
So did I miss it? How DID Saturday go?
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 29, 2024 23:15:53 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Apr 16, 2019 19:02:54 GMT
MichyM , here's a story that should make you feel better about your simple request. An acquaintance that I haven't seen or spoken to in 10 years got my number from a friend and called me. She said her friend was interested in buying a vehicle in an area an hour away from a city I used to live in 5 years ago. She knew I didn't live there anymore but wanted me to find a friend there who would drive an hour away to look over a vehicle that her friend might buy. Oh my! That acquaintance has got a set. OP - I think I would be frustrated with my friend, but would give her grace this time pending our dinner Saturday night. If she tells me how bored she was during the week, my grace might be subjective.
|
|
rodeomom
Pearl Clutcher
Refupee # 380 "I don't have to run fast, I just have to run faster than you."
Posts: 3,670
Location: Chickasaw Nation, Oklahoma
Jun 25, 2014 23:34:38 GMT
|
Post by rodeomom on Apr 16, 2019 19:16:17 GMT
OH my that does not sound like a good friend! One time we were on our way home for Christmas and my husband found a wallet at a gas station. It had over a 1000 in it. We looked up the name on the drivers license and called on a pay phone (before cell phones) and got his wife. They lived in a town out of our way, but we took it to their house and gave his wife the wallet with the money. We didn't give it to the gas station because I was not sure the money would have gotten to the owner. All I could think of was this was likely their Christmas money. His wife was in shock that they got the money back.
I think any good friend would have gone and got your card right away.
|
|
|
Post by tracyarts on Apr 16, 2019 20:52:46 GMT
I have a friend, known her for 38 years now, who is in a bad place in life now.
She's in a really toxic relationship with a piece of shit guy, and they're living a dumpster fire of a life together.
She goes on social media boohooing and begging for help, but only her terms, and only in ways that will enable her dysfunctional lifestyle.
Then gets snarky when people who care about her refuse to play the game. I hate to see her circling the drain and heading towards rock bottom, but I can't contribute to it either.
|
|
Tearisci
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,840
Nov 6, 2018 16:34:30 GMT
|
Post by Tearisci on Apr 16, 2019 21:06:03 GMT
I appreciate the validation girls. She's the only friend of mine who has never been married or had children. At times I wonder how that factors in to her ability to offer up a hand on her own, or in this instance respond to my request for help. Does that make any sense? She's never had to "help" any one but herself. I'm really tired so if this doesn't make any sense I apo!ogize! I grew up in Seattle so know that WeeSea is an "island" and not easy to get to. Reading your post and your response to her now seems very "Seattle" to me- not wanted to rock the waters or be seem as aggressive. I think since I'm out of that environment, I'd definitely be questioning her more like...."really? Are you serious?" I don't think that I could get over her selfishness and I know that I'd definitely have to have a heart to heart to decide if I wanted to continue the friendship. I don't do one-sided anymore.
|
|
imsirius
Prolific Pea
Call it as I see it.
Posts: 7,661
Location: Floating in the black veil.
Jul 12, 2014 19:59:28 GMT
|
Post by imsirius on Apr 16, 2019 21:07:22 GMT
We had dinner in the next town over (40 min drive) before taking a friend who lives an hour away by train, to the station.
After we returned home, He texted that he left his expensive travel mug on the table. My dh drove all the way back the same night to go grab it.
That's what a real friend does.
|
|
anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,402
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
|
Post by anniebygaslight on Apr 16, 2019 21:08:02 GMT
Yikes. I am sorry.
|
|
|
Post by MichyM on Apr 16, 2019 22:39:19 GMT
So did I miss it? How DID Saturday go? It got rescheduled for this Saturday due to a sporting event making it difficult for us to get around the area of town we're going to. I don't plan on saying anything, especially since we'll be with several friends. She did text me on Sunday evening to show me all the craft and sewing projects that she completed over the weekend tho
|
|
|
Post by katlaw on Apr 16, 2019 23:20:26 GMT
I really don’t know if I could ever see her in the same light ever again. A stranger once showed up on my door step to return my wallet. My husband and I found a wallet in the parking lot at Wal-Mart. It was raining, we were hurrying to get in out of the rain and he glimpsed it. It was not soaking wet so we figured the person who lost had not dropped it very long ago. We went into the store, asked at customer service if anyone had come looking for a lost wallet and had the person paged. We found a paper inside with owner information so we phoned and some guy answered, said it was his and he would be right there. We waited so we could be sure he got it. When he got there he opened it and told us if anything was missing he would be calling the police. We just stood there, dumbfounded. OP - I am not even sure I would be able to hang out with that friend again. I just don't understand how someone who is your friend would not go get it.
|
|
|
Post by MichyM on Apr 17, 2019 1:16:25 GMT
I really don’t know if I could ever see her in the same light ever again. A stranger once showed up on my door step to return my wallet. My husband and I found a wallet in the parking lot at Wal-Mart. It was raining, we were hurrying to get in out of the rain and he glimpsed it. It was not soaking wet so we figured the person who lost had not dropped it very long ago. We went into the store, asked at customer service if anyone had come looking for a lost wallet and had the person paged. We found a paper inside with owner information so we phoned and some guy answered, said it was his and he would be right there. We waited so we could be sure he got it. When he got there he opened it and told us if anything was missing he would be calling the police. We just stood there, dumbfounded. OP - I am not even sure I would be able to hang out with that friend again. I just don't understand how someone who is your friend would not go get it. That guy was a total jerk. Unbelievable.
|
|
|
Post by ametallichick on Apr 17, 2019 5:41:53 GMT
I think that’s really crappy and quite odd. I think you should ask her next time you’re together why she wouldn’t pick it up. I was up in the mountains one time with my dh and my ds. We found a video camera by a photo overlook. I’m guessing it might’ve dropped out of someone’s jacket, or something. As we drove up to the lodge to get a drink or snack, my ds played the video they had recorded. It turns out that they had recorded stuff that same day. We saw this same group of people at the lodge. We recognized them by the clothes they were wearing. We ran out to the car to get said camera and they were overwhelmed with excitement when we gave it to them. They were from Brazil and even though there was a language barrier, we laughed and smiled and someone even took a group photo of all of us. To make a long story short, we did something nice for someone and I cannot for the life of me, figure out why your friend would say no.
|
|
|
Post by sleepingbooty on Apr 17, 2019 7:28:14 GMT
She did text me on Sunday evening to show me all the craft and sewing projects that she completed over the weekend tho "Send me some compliments and validation, kthankbye." Glad to hear she wasn't swamped with work to do all that crafting and sewing.
|
|
|
Post by scrappintoee on Apr 24, 2019 6:53:37 GMT
She did text me on Sunday evening to show me all the craft and sewing projects that she completed over the weekend tho Curious if you've seen her and/or gotten any texts from her since then, and IF she apologized? Also-- you mentioned that you've helped her with MANY things---has she asked for your help since the credit card incident? What a tricky situation.....I hope it works out well for you.
|
|
|
Post by MichyM on Apr 24, 2019 15:42:38 GMT
She did text me on Sunday evening to show me all the craft and sewing projects that she completed over the weekend tho Curious if you've seen her and/or gotten any texts from her since then, and IF she apologized? Also-- you mentioned that you've helped her with MANY things---has she asked for your help since the credit card incident? What a tricky situation.....I hope it works out well for you. I spent time with her this past weekend, but we were with some other friends as well so I haven’t brought it up. And no, I haven’t done anything for her since the OP. I avoid discord of any sort, so I’m still struggling with whether I’ll say anything (and how) or not.
|
|
|
Post by mikklynn on Apr 25, 2019 14:27:50 GMT
I really don’t know if I could ever see her in the same light ever again. A stranger once showed up on my door step to return my wallet. My husband and I found a wallet in the parking lot at Wal-Mart. It was raining, we were hurrying to get in out of the rain and he glimpsed it. It was not soaking wet so we figured the person who lost had not dropped it very long ago. We went into the store, asked at customer service if anyone had come looking for a lost wallet and had the person paged. We found a paper inside with owner information so we phoned and some guy answered, said it was his and he would be right there. We waited so we could be sure he got it. When he got there he opened it and told us if anything was missing he would be calling the police. We just stood there, dumbfounded. OP - I am not even sure I would be able to hang out with that friend again. I just don't understand how someone who is your friend would not go get it. What a jackass!
|
|
|
Post by Crack-a-lackin on Apr 25, 2019 14:42:56 GMT
michym, thought of you and this thread the other day when I had to drive to West Seattle. Maybe she was sick of everyone asking her to pick stuff up there because it’s such an ordeal to drive there?? 😄 (it’s not, really, but definitely a destination location and not someplace you drive through, as you mentioned).
|
|
|
Post by MichyM on Apr 25, 2019 15:40:09 GMT
michym, thought of you and this thread the other day when I had to drive to West Seattle. Maybe she was sick of everyone asking her to pick stuff up there because it’s such an ordeal to drive there?? 😄 (it’s not, really, but definitely a destination location and not someplace you drive through, as you mentioned). Destination location is the perfect way to describe WS. I’m stealing it
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 29, 2024 23:15:53 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Apr 25, 2019 15:48:50 GMT
I'm sorry for you, that sucks!
But mostly, I feel sorry for her. Much more than for you, because you will ALWAYS have friends. But she sounds like she will have a hard time caring about others, which will make it hard for others to care about her. These are the people who die old and alone because they don't understand community and cooperation.
|
|
scrapnnana
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,316
Jun 29, 2014 18:58:47 GMT
|
Post by scrapnnana on Apr 25, 2019 20:40:27 GMT
I am just blown away. She couldn't spend 10 minutes to go get it for you, but she had plenty of time to get her craft projects done.
I agree with the poster who said to cancel your card and just get a new one. Restaurants are one of the most likely places to get your card info compromised, anyway, so watch for any unauthorized charges.
I haven't read all of the replies, but it sounds like your friend is happy to get together with you socially, just don't expect her to do anything that requires any effort on her part, or that would interfere with her own plans.
I had a neighbor friend who wanted to exchange babysitting. No problem, I was happy to help out, watched her several kids a few times, but I didn't need the favor returned for awhile. When I needed her to babysit for me, she was always too busy. Always. I also loaned her a baby stroller, 3 baby gates, and something else baby related. About a year later, I was about to have a baby, so I asked her to return the baby items. I wanted time to get them cleaned up and ready. She returned the 3 baby gates, and they were barely held together with strapping tape. She said that they still worked, so she didn't feel she needed to replace them. I ended up throwing them out, because they were unsafe. She couldn't return the stroller, because she had left it outside for several days, and when she finally decided to retrieve it, it had apparently been stolen. She didn't feel a need to reimburse me for that, either, even though she had been careless in leaving it outside. Only the third item came back in acceptable condition. I was shocked. That was when I finally figured out that our friendship was a one-way street, and would always be so as long as I permitted myself to be used. I continued to see her socially, but I learned to say, "No," to any further requests for favors from her.
It sounds like your friendship with this gal may be a one-way street kind of friendship, too. The fact that she wouldn't go a short block to help you is a definite red flag IMO.
|
|
|
Post by magoosangel on Apr 25, 2019 20:46:42 GMT
She wouldn’t be my friend anymore. That’s crazy to me. I can’t imagine not helping a friend out.
|
|