luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
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Post by luvnlifelady on Apr 13, 2019 10:14:39 GMT
I can't sleep as I have insomnia so thought I'd throw this out there....
My guy and I went to a baseball/hockey watch party last night and met some new people from a Pittsburgh Sports Fan Facebook Page that we're both on (we both like the teams from here). We had never met any of them prior. Anyway, there were 4 other men and 3 other women. (3 couples)
Prior to this get together, me and 2 of the women had made tentative plans to go to the Pirates game on Easter (I don't have plans as my guy works). Anyway, I asked one of the women (there by herself) about it and she says she has to work. Ok, that's cool. I later ask her what she does and she says she works in the customer phone bank for a chain of banks in the area. I thought at first, ok, too bad, but thought nothing more of it. Later, I thought to myself, "wait, banks aren't open on Easter!" (Or at least from what I know).
I am scrolling through Facebook and she posted pictures from last night of everyone there (solo or couple shots). In every pic, the people are looking at the camera, except the one of me and my guy. It is obviously taken from the side (she had arrived first, so my bf sat next to her and I sat next to him). The one of me and him is of him looking at the TV but I am slouched down (blurry) and eating French fries! Ugh.
There is also a nice group pic that is not posted.
I thought it was on the mutual FB page, but it's only on her page. However, she is FB friends with many from the group.
I'm sort of annoyed that she posted this unflattering pic as I am new here and I really don't want that being the first impression people see of me. Maybe I mis-read the situation, but I did not get good vibes from her. However, she and another woman there are admins of the group and invited my bf (and another guy there) to be one too.
Would someone posting an unflattering pic of you like this bother you?
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Apr 13, 2019 10:26:47 GMT
She might have been oblivious to anyone but herself in the photo.
I wouldn't take it personally this time. If she continually posts had pics of you, I'd mention, "Hey, next time get me looking and smiling. 😁"
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
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Post by luvnlifelady on Apr 13, 2019 10:32:59 GMT
She might have been oblivious to anyone but herself in the photo. I wouldn't take it personally this time. If she continually posts had pics of you, I'd mention, "Hey, next time get me looking and smiling. 😁" Do you mean in the collection of photos? Everyone was photographed either alone (if they didn't have a partner there) or as a couple so that bad pic is just of me and my bf. One of the other couples' shot is of them smiling with their heads touching. Super cute. I'm probably just being touchy about this but it makes me think, wth?! Why post that? If that's the only pic I had of a couple there, I definitely would not have posted it.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Apr 13, 2019 10:39:32 GMT
She might have been oblivious to anyone but herself in the photo. I wouldn't take it personally this time. If she continually posts had pics of you, I'd mention, "Hey, next time get me looking and smiling. 😁" Do you mean in the collection of photos? Everyone was photographed either alone (if they didn't have a partner there) or as a couple so that bad pic is just of me and my bf. One of the other couples' shot is of them smiling with their heads touching. Super cute. I'm probably just being touchy about this but it makes me think, wth?! Why post that? If that's the only pic I had of a couple there, I definitely would not have posted it. Oooh, no! I'm sorry, I read your post wrong. I thought you guys were accidentally in the background of a group shot. No, just the two of you, and not told to look & smile? If ask for it to be taken down since it's not flattering. WOw, wonder why she ever thought that would be okay to do?!
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lindas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,275
Jun 26, 2014 5:46:37 GMT
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Post by lindas on Apr 13, 2019 10:42:18 GMT
Ok, so it's not a very flattering pic and I get way you would be bothered by it but how would you have felt is she posted pics of everyone but you and your guy? Better a not so great pic then no pic at all.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 29, 2024 21:22:46 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 13, 2019 10:42:43 GMT
She might have been oblivious to anyone but herself in the photo. I wouldn't take it personally this time. If she continually posts had pics of you, I'd mention, "Hey, next time get me looking and smiling. 😁" Do you mean in the collection of photos? Everyone was photographed either alone (if they didn't have a partner there) or as a couple so that bad pic is just of me and my bf. One of the other couples' shot is of them smiling with their heads touching. Super cute. I'm probably just being touchy about this but it makes me think, wth?! Why post that? If that's the only pic I had of a couple there, I definitely would not have posted it. Some people just upload all the photos they have taken at that event in one go without looking at them or editing them. She might have done the same. I wouldn't automatically think she's done it deliberately. Having said that, I wouldn't be happy that she shared my photo on social media without my permission though especially that she hardly knows you that well.
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
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Post by luvnlifelady on Apr 13, 2019 10:47:57 GMT
Ok, so it's not a very flattering pic and I get way you would be bothered by it but how would you have felt is she posted pics of everyone but you and your guy? Better a not so great pic then no pic at all. I actually wouldn't have minded. All of the other pics were taken before we got there (we got there a little late due to his work schedule) so that would've been fully understandable. Even if we had been there when pics were taken, I'd rather have no pic than one that is so unflattering.
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Post by stacmac on Apr 13, 2019 10:53:21 GMT
Can you untag yourself? I remember a friend once posted an awful pic of me. It was so bad a couple of people I knew actually commented on it laughingly before I had a chance to untag myself. I aked her to take it down and she did but I was still annoyed why she would do it in the first place.
Maybe it was the only pic she had of you guys so she thought better that than nothing? Maybe she didn't want to offend when everyone else had a pic up?
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
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Post by luvnlifelady on Apr 13, 2019 11:01:56 GMT
Can you untag yourself? I remember a friend once posted an awful pic of me. It was so bad a couple of people I knew actually commented on it laughingly before I had a chance to untag myself. I aked her to take it down and she did but I was still annoyed why she would do it in the first place. Maybe it was the only pic she had of you guys so she thought better that than nothing? Maybe she didn't want to offend when everyone else had a pic up? I just remembered that there was a good group shot where everyone looked fine. Of course, she didn't include that! Grrr!
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
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Post by luvnlifelady on Apr 13, 2019 11:04:27 GMT
Can you untag yourself? I remember a friend once posted an awful pic of me. It was so bad a couple of people I knew actually commented on it laughingly before I had a chance to untag myself. I aked her to take it down and she did but I was still annoyed why she would do it in the first place. Maybe it was the only pic she had of you guys so she thought better that than nothing? Maybe she didn't want to offend when everyone else had a pic up? That's possible but if it had been me with a pic of her, I would not have posted it. Better nothing than one so unflattering.
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pilcas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,143
Aug 14, 2015 21:47:17 GMT
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Post by pilcas on Apr 13, 2019 11:35:36 GMT
To be brutally honest, this sounds like middle school drama. It’s just a picture.
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Post by peasapie on Apr 13, 2019 11:42:16 GMT
Just tell her you don’t think it’s a flattering pic and ask her if she has any other to post instead. I wouldn’t overthink it.
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Post by christine58 on Apr 13, 2019 12:05:43 GMT
To be brutally honest, this sounds like middle school drama. It’s just a picture. Sure does. You can also set your FB preferences so you have to approve any tags. Go remove it.
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kelly8875
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,407
Location: Lost in my supplies...
Oct 26, 2014 17:02:56 GMT
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Post by kelly8875 on Apr 13, 2019 12:47:40 GMT
It’s just a picture. Remove a tag if there is one.
As for her working on Easter, she might be. Just because banks are closed doesn’t mean customer service centers are.
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Post by librarylady on Apr 13, 2019 12:51:20 GMT
It’s just a picture. Remove a tag if there is one. As for her working on Easter, she might be. Just because banks are closed doesn’t mean customer service centers are. And, I think you should get over it. This does sound so much like MS/HS drama.
Regarding the service center--Think about the credit cards connected to that bank--24 hr. coverage 7 days per week. It is possible that she is working on Easter.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 29, 2024 21:22:46 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 13, 2019 13:15:46 GMT
I use two banks. Both have 24 hour phone service 365 days a year so I can call to report a stolen/lost card, report an atm issue and other such stuff. The banks are closed at night, week ends and holidays. But I can call the customer service line at any time I need.
Sounds like the rest of the group knows she takes photos to post so they are camera aware and pose for her. My guess is that was the best photo she had of you/bf together. Next time pay attention to what the people around you are doing and when you see the camera pointed in your direction smile and pose instead of ignoring it.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 29, 2024 21:22:46 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 13, 2019 13:17:07 GMT
Can you untag yourself? I remember a friend once posted an awful pic of me. It was so bad a couple of people I knew actually commented on it laughingly before I had a chance to untag myself. I aked her to take it down and she did but I was still annoyed why she would do it in the first place. Maybe it was the only pic she had of you guys so she thought better that than nothing? Maybe she didn't want to offend when everyone else had a pic up? That's possible but if it had been me with a pic of her, I would not have posted it. Better nothing than one so unflattering. Then you would be here complaining she left you out and didn't take any photos of you at all.
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Post by auntkelly on Apr 13, 2019 14:09:08 GMT
I’d untag the picture & forget about it. People don’t scrutinize pictures of others like they do pictures of themselves. An old work friend tagged me in a group picture the other day which I thought was very unflattering. I know she didn’t do it to be hurtful. I’m sure she thought I looked fine.
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paigepea
Drama Llama
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Location: BC, Canada
Jun 26, 2014 4:28:55 GMT
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Post by paigepea on Apr 13, 2019 14:23:36 GMT
Here banks are open on Easter.
I agree that it was in poor taste for her to post a pic of you without your permission but in this case, when I feel like you want approval by or inclusion in her friend group, I’d say you draw more negative attention to yourself if you ask her to remove the photo. I think you need to stop analyzing her actions / posts. You’re demonstrating how social media is negative for young people in society because it causes us to feel self conscious about ourselves and be so concerned with how others perceive us. I’m not saying I’ve never felt victim to this, it’s just that your post is currently a good demonstration.
I’m sorry she posted an unflattering pic of you. I’m sure your good friends realize that you didn’t have a say in the pic.
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
Jun 17, 2016 12:36:53 GMT
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Post by ashley on Apr 13, 2019 15:00:43 GMT
Maybe she realized after the event when she was posting photos that she didn’t have a nice shot of you but didn’t want to leave you out. If you got there late it’s possible she was already out of “photographer mode” and had stopped carrying her mental tally around.
It doesn’t have to be a slight, not a judgment if you. Perhaps she was trying to make sure you felt included. Others often don’t see our “shitty looking” versions of ourselves in photos the same way we do.
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Post by mom on Apr 13, 2019 15:12:11 GMT
Its a photo. No one will be a basing an impression of you if they were to see this unflattering photo of you eating a French fry. They most likely will just scroll on through or if it was me, I wouldn't bother looking at them at all.
Let it go. You came into this assuming she was not telling the truth about work. Maybe she is lying but as others have pointed out, its entirely possible she is going to be at work. I seriously doubt she did this to be intentionally ugly to you.
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Kerri W
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,788
Location: Kentucky
Jun 25, 2014 20:31:44 GMT
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Post by Kerri W on Apr 13, 2019 15:42:28 GMT
If you're this upset about the photo, untag yourself. Honestly I think you struggle with insecurity. I've been there. Work within yourself to figure out why and you'll be much happier.
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Post by katlady on Apr 13, 2019 15:45:19 GMT
I have posted what may have been not so flattering pictures of people before, only because I wanted to include everyone and not leave anybody out. I have had not so flattering pictures of me posted before. I just untag myself. I don’t think she meant to make you feel bad or anything.
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
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Post by luvnlifelady on Apr 13, 2019 15:45:38 GMT
If you're this upset about the photo, untag yourself. Honestly I think you struggle with insecurity. I've been there. Work within yourself to figure out why and you'll be much happier. It wouldn't matter if I untagged myself. The pic is still viewable to her friend list and it's people within our group that I haven't met yet. I don't think it has anything to do with insecurity. Anybody in their right mind wouldn't like it. Would you?
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
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Post by luvnlifelady on Apr 13, 2019 15:47:16 GMT
I have posted what may have been not so flattering pictures of people before, only because I wanted to include everyone and not leave anybody out. I have had not so flattering pictures of me posted before. I just untag myself. I don’t think she meant to make you feel bad or anything. Others have suggested "untagging" too but doesn't that still make it viewable to everyone on her friend's page? That's the annoying factor. There are many within our mutual group I have yet to meet but they are her FB friends so they will see that pic. Just annoying. I wouldn't post an unflattering pic of someone just to make sure they're included. If there wasn't one of me, I would just think they didn't get one.
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Post by Crack-a-lackin on Apr 13, 2019 15:48:20 GMT
I think you’re reading far too much into this. I would bet she never gave it a second thought. What’s that quote from Eleanor Roosevelt....you wouldn’t worry so much what people think of you if you realized how seldom they do.
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Post by katlady on Apr 13, 2019 15:50:35 GMT
I have posted what may have been not so flattering pictures of people before, only because I wanted to include everyone and not leave anybody out. I have had not so flattering pictures of me posted before. I just untag myself. I don’t think she meant to make you feel bad or anything. Others have suggested "untagging" too but doesn't that still make it viewable to everyone on her friend's page? That's the annoying factor. There are many within our mutual group I have yet to meet but they are her FB friends so they will see that pic. Just annoying. I wouldn't post an unflattering pic of someone just to make sure they're included. If there wasn't one of me, I would just think they didn't get one. People are not going to say to you, when you finally meet them, “oh you are the French fry lady”. Odds are they won’t even remember that picture.
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Post by christine58 on Apr 13, 2019 15:53:49 GMT
If you're this upset about the photo, untag yourself. Honestly I think you struggle with insecurity. I've been there. Work within yourself to figure out why and you'll be much happier. It wouldn't matter if I untagged myself. The pic is still viewable to her friend list and it's people within our group that I haven't met yet. I don't think it has anything to do with insecurity. Anybody in their right mind wouldn't like it. Would you? You seriously need to grow up.
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
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Post by luvnlifelady on Apr 13, 2019 15:55:27 GMT
To be brutally honest, this sounds like middle school drama. It’s just a picture. I get that but to those that say they wouldn't be bothered, I find that hard to believe but maybe that's just me. It's not like there were other bad shots. Mine was the only one and since I'm new, I'd prefer that not have been posted. I'll get over it but it just rubs me the wrong way being that it was someone that I just met.
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
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Post by luvnlifelady on Apr 13, 2019 15:57:07 GMT
It wouldn't matter if I untagged myself. The pic is still viewable to her friend list and it's people within our group that I haven't met yet. I don't think it has anything to do with insecurity. Anybody in their right mind wouldn't like it. Would you? You seriously need to grow up. Are you seriously trying to say that it wouldn't bother you? I find that very hard to believe. I'm the new kid and I just think it was dumb for her to post a pic. that was that bad. I'm not heading for the many bridges in town over it. (shrug)
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