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Post by Dixie Lou on Apr 14, 2019 23:24:38 GMT
It sucks to have my daughter in town for a few days but to be last on the list to spend time with. I’m hurt. I’m tired. I feel taken advantage of. There’s a lot more going in than this.
I wish it would hurry and get late enough to go to bed.
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Post by Blind Squirrel on Apr 14, 2019 23:26:58 GMT
I'm so sorry. Hugs to you.
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Post by mom on Apr 14, 2019 23:28:21 GMT
I am sorry. So often we put those who we love the most, last on the list. Sending you a huge hug.
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Post by Skellinton on Apr 14, 2019 23:28:53 GMT
I am sorry. That really sucks.
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So lonely
Apr 14, 2019 23:32:31 GMT
via mobile
Post by disneypal on Apr 14, 2019 23:32:31 GMT
I am sorry
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valincal
Drama Llama
Southern Alberta
Posts: 5,765
Jun 27, 2014 2:21:22 GMT
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So lonely
Apr 14, 2019 23:33:53 GMT
via mobile
Post by valincal on Apr 14, 2019 23:33:53 GMT
So sorry. Hope you’re feeling better tomorrow.
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Post by bc2ca on Apr 14, 2019 23:38:21 GMT
I'm sorry. It sounds like you were looking forward to the visit and haven't had any time with her.
How old is she? When we were in our 20s, my sisters and I behaved like this. We'd stay with my parents but spend all our time off with friends until my dad presented a sister with a "hotel" bill on one trip. After that we made sure to always agree on some specific parent time when visiting.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Apr 14, 2019 23:46:02 GMT
Aww, I’m sorry.
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
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Post by luvnlifelady on Apr 14, 2019 23:50:12 GMT
It sucks to have my daughter in town for a few days but to be last on the list to spend time with. I’m hurt. I’m tired. I feel taken advantage of. There’s a lot more going in than this. I wish it would hurry and get late enough to go to bed. I know a bit of what you're going through. I am still going through my divorce (and IIRC, you are too). I had my grown kids visit in December (shortly after I moved across the country) and it didn't go very well. I did invite their cousin too and it seemed to be mostly about impressing the cousin a nd spending time with her, rather than me and my new guy (or just me alone). I was hurt. Things are improving a bit. I just met my son in Philadelphia on a layover and just got word that my DD is coming here in 10 days! I also plan to visit them in August (went at Christmas and it was awful), so it will be interesting to see how it goes and how much time they make or don't make for me. I barely saw my son during the 6 days I was there. One thing I have done for myself though is to get involved in Meetup groups. I run some and joined others. I realized I had to make my own life now and not rely on others for companionship. Good luck to you.
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lesley
Drama Llama
My best friend Turriff, desperately missed.
Posts: 7,292
Location: Scotland, Scotland, Scotland
Jul 6, 2014 21:50:44 GMT
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Post by lesley on Apr 14, 2019 23:50:16 GMT
I’m sorry you’re hurting. And go to bed whenever you want, you don’t need to wait until "it’s time"!
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trollie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,580
Jul 2, 2014 22:14:02 GMT
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So lonely
Apr 15, 2019 0:04:14 GMT
via mobile
Post by trollie on Apr 15, 2019 0:04:14 GMT
I'm sorry. (((Hugs)))
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Post by bigbundt on Apr 15, 2019 0:17:07 GMT
I'm sorry you are hurt.
Coming from the perspective of a daughter, when I go back home it is so hard to juggle trying to see everyone in the short amount of time I am there. I'm sure my parents feel like they get the short end of the stick but it isn't a slight against them. I see my parents two to three times a year but only make it back home once every five years or more. I do make a point to spend some time with them though, usually in the evening.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Apr 15, 2019 0:26:36 GMT
(((Hugs)))
I'm sorry you are hurting.
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Post by Dixie Lou on Apr 15, 2019 0:28:35 GMT
Thank you for the kind words.
My divorce has been final for two years but I still feel devastated over it at times.
Mostly I am fine and happy being alone but there are odd things that make me feel sad. Like I really wanted her to help me start the lawn mower. I've never started it and it's not been used for four years. It may not even work but I won't know that until I try. I am afraid to go get gas in a gas can by myself so I thought I could get her to go with me. I also wanted to take one of my dogs to the bluebonnets for pictures but need help with that. I asked her last year and she wouldn't do it then either. My printer issue from a few months ago made me sad too. Odd things, really.
I have two older daughters who live in the general area. All three are living their own lives and are happy and thriving.
My dad lives with me and it's ok but it's stressful as well. My house is tiny and he takes up the whole living room so if I want to relax, I have to be in my bedroom.
I do have a life of my own. I am at my happiest during the week when I can go to work.
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Post by scrapmaven on Apr 15, 2019 0:40:42 GMT
I think you need some weekend and evening social connections. Do you have friends from work that would socialize w/you? I'm sorry that you're lonely right now. It's ok to talk to your dd about your feelings. She might make more of an effort if she knows that she is hurting you.
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,137
Jul 1, 2014 20:20:18 GMT
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Post by rickmer on Apr 15, 2019 0:55:11 GMT
i think sometimes we (as children of our own parents) and our grown kids don't realize behaviour is being neglectful or taking someone for granted. mom's are always there and we are so quick to say "oh, it's fine" that they believe it really is.
due to our separation, i am no longer allowed to step foot in my MILs cottage i have been going to for 28 yrs, the last 18 with our kids. STBX takes them up *every* opportunity he can (as i suspect he knows it's something he has "one up" on me).
i made an effort to do fun things with them this summer, took two youngers to another friends cottage (DD couldn't go due to work), but we went apple picking, hikes in conversation areas, to my mom's trailer and to st jacobs farmers market... just stuff "together".
DD did an end-of-summer video for her social media story. there was not one single pic or video clip of *any* of the things we did together. it hurt. lots of stuff from her at the cottage, boating and water skiing, camp fires, etc. we are very close and i don't for one second feel like it was an intentional slight. but it still stung.
can you ask her if she can put some time aside for you? living with your dad in that situation would be isolating - feeling like you have to hide in your room. maybe if you explained it she might be more understanding?
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Post by destined2bmom on Apr 15, 2019 1:10:19 GMT
I am sorry. Hugs! As someone suggested, could you share your feelings with your DDs. Maybe it would help with making time. Also, someone else suggested trying to find groups that you can participate in and meet people. I think that would help you.
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Post by mikklynn on Apr 15, 2019 16:29:07 GMT
Dixie Lou I understand the fear about doing things you used to rely on a husband for. Since my DH's cancer progressed, I've had to learn to do scary things, too. You CAN do it and you'll be so proud of yourself! The biggest thing to know for filling a gas can is to place in on the ground. This is to prevent any static charge that may be created if you leave it in the bed of a truck or SUV. You'll need to pay close attention, so you don't overfill. You can do it! The lawn mower? Give it a whirl. If it doesn't start, try YouTube videos for your brand. Worst case, find a repair shop and take it in. Have them teach you any tricks you need. I was scared, but went out and bought myself a new snowblower. Now I do my driveway and a couple neighbors, too! I asked some of the guys in the office what I needed to know before I went shopping.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 29, 2024 19:28:35 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 15, 2019 16:47:04 GMT
(((((hugs to you))))) You are in my thoughts and prayers, both for kids who put parents last and for kids who really want their parents and parents are too busy for them. (like me) I would love to spend more time with my mom, but she lives 2000 miles away and when I go see her she has so much going on with her life that I am lucky if I can get an evening or two with her. I actually have some mom "subs", like a lady at my work who is about my mom's age and is really nice. We do dinner about once a month. Is there a group or a work person you can get together with that would appreciate someone "mom-ing them" ?
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Post by MichyM on Apr 15, 2019 17:08:56 GMT
Dixie Lou I understand the fear about doing things you used to rely on a husband for. Since my DH's cancer progressed, I've had to learn to do scary things, too. You CAN do it and you'll be so proud of yourself! The biggest thing to know for filling a gas can is to place in on the ground. This is to prevent any static charge that may be created if you leave it in the bed of a truck or SUV. You'll need to pay close attention, so you don't overfill. You can do it! The lawn mower? Give it a whirl. If it doesn't start, try YouTube videos for your brand. Worst case, find a repair shop and take it in. Have them teach you any tricks you need. I was scared, but went out and bought myself a new snowblower. Now I do my driveway and a couple neighbors, too! I asked some of the guys in the office what I needed to know before I went shopping. This, so much this. My ex and I split 6 years ago. I’ve surprised myself with the things I can do on my own, that I never had before. If you don’t try, you’ll never know.
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ddly
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,019
Jul 10, 2014 19:36:28 GMT
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Post by ddly on Apr 15, 2019 21:02:48 GMT
I’m sorry. I remember you and I were going through separation and divorce at the same time.
Hang in there! Kids are so used to us being there and we get taken advantage of.
You can do some of your stuff. Give it a try. Start by filling your gas can You got great advice!
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joelise
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,649
Jul 1, 2014 6:33:14 GMT
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Post by joelise on Apr 16, 2019 18:56:38 GMT
I understand where you’re coming from. Big hugs! It gets easier.
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